Things were feeling strained at White Oak Manor. Since the day Harry arrived home, he has such himself off from his father as much as he could. The first few hours, he had stayed in his room, letting his emotions crash over him. But after a shower and a change of clothes, Harry made his way into his potions lab and stayed there until dinner was ready. He had joined his father in the dining room, but few words were shared between them. Harry kept his eyes on his food and avoided the concerned glances from his father. Once he had finished, he left just as quickly as before and stayed upstairs for the remainder of the evening.
Sirius wasn’t sure what to do. His first instinct was to chase after his son and talk to him, find out what had upset him. It had seemed that mere seconds past and Harry went from his normal broody but happy teenage self to a withdrawn and angry young man. The look he had seen in his son’s eyes had scared him, but he wasn’t sure what had caused the change. At dinner, he had wanted to try and talk to him, but Sirius knew that it wasn’t the time.
It was after Harry had disappeared and headed upstairs that Sirius ended up in the main sitting room. He poured himself a large scotch and dropped onto the sofa. There were days when raising a teenager was no problem; Harry was smart enough to almost take care of himself and keep out of trouble. Of course, there were always moments when Harry would react badly, and that was when Sirius would step in. But the moments, just like this one, where Harry’s reaction made no sense to Sirius was when he felt like a failure. Shouldn’t a father know how to help his son?
Sirius took a large sip of his scotch and seemed to sink lower into the sofa when one of the house-elves, his name was Grimsby, appeared.
“Sorry to disturb you, Master Sirius, but Mistress Lily is here.”
Sirius nodded. “Show her in, Grimsby.”
The elf disappeared, and barely a moment later, the door to the sitting room opened, and Lily walked in. She looked as concerned as Sirius did. Her red hair was tied up in a messy bun, and her cheeks were blotchy like she had been crying.
Sirius sat up and asked, “Lily, are you alright?”
Lily sniffed and sat down beside him on the couch. “I’m worried about Harry; what happened today…” She rubbed at her nose and took a deep breath.
“I don’t understand what happened at all,” said Sirius.
Lily said, “I’ve seen Harry angry, but this was different.”
“I don’t know what set him off.” Sirius took another sip of his drink. “He was fine one moment, then Harvey showed up, and we were all talking about his game, and then Harry just became a different person.”
“Have you spoken to him?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No, I didn’t want to push him.”
“Probably a good idea.”
Sirius asked, “You don’t think it had something to do with Harvey, do you?”
Lily frowned. “Harvey? What would he have done?”
“They don’t exactly get along; maybe Harvey upset him at school?”
She shook her head and said, “Harvey didn’t mention anything. All he said was that Harry spoke to him on the train about his theory about Severus and that he was fine.”
“Theory about Snape?” questioned Sirius.
Lily sighed. “Oh, it’s stupid, but Harvey is convinced that there is something hidden at Hogwarts that Severus is after.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “Apparently. I did send Harry a letter and ask that he try and persuade Harvey to not accuse a teacher of such things.”
“Snape doesn’t always make it easy.”
“No, but Severus would never hurt Harvey or any student intentionally.”
“I suppose. Still, something has set Harry off.”
The two of them sat in silence for a moment. Sirius drank his drink, and Lily stared at the fireplace. They had to do something.
Lily said, “Let me try and talk to him.”
Sirius cringed. “Lily, I don’t think-”
She reached over and placed her hand on his arm. She said, “I know, but we have to try.”
Sirius bowed his head and nodded. “Alright, he is in his room.”
Lily offered him a smile before standing and leaving the room. Sirius only hoped that it would work. Harry would never intentionally hurt his mother, he knew that, but his mood just might change that.
Lily climbed the stairs and followed the familiar hall to Harry’s room. She stopped outside the door and listened for a moment; there were no sounds which could be good or bad, she wasn’t sure. She knocked on the door and was surprised when it flung open.
Seeing her son, Lily’s heart broke. His face was flushed red, his eyes dark, his head a mess—more so than normal—and all she could see was pain in his eyes. She reached up and cupped his cheeks, tears escaping from her own eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her words barely above a whisper. Lily pulled him into a hug, and he let her. His body moulded against hers and his arms wrapped around her waist. She felt his face nuzzle into her shoulder, and his fingers grip at her coat.
How could she have missed this?
The hug lasted or a good minute. Lily didn’t want to let go, and neither did Harry. When his fingers loosened their grip, they stepped into his room and sat on the edge of his bed. Lily held her son’s hand in hers and said, “I’m sorry that I missed whatever has upset you.”
Harry frowned and looked away from her.
“Whatever it is, you can tell me. I won’t be upset or mad; I just want to understand what’s happening in that brain of yours.” With her free hand, Lily reached over and brushed a few strands of hair that had fallen down away from his eyes.
She had watched Harry struggle with his emotions growing up; for some reason, he never seemed to express them. She and Sirius had tried to get him to open up, but the boy had somehow learned to keep it all bottled up. Neither of them knew if it was because he didn’t understand how to express what he was feeling or if he was intentionally choosing to hold it back; but, either way, Lily felt like she had failed her son in that way.
“I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me,” said Lily.
Harry never spoke. He let her talk and try to comfort him with her touch and words, but nothing worked. Eventually, Lily decided to let him rest. She wasn’t done with Harry, she had to get to the bottom of whatever was going on in his mind, but she could see how tired he was. Emotions were exhausting. She pressed a kiss to his head and wished him goodnight before leaving.
Lily left knowing that she had done everything she could for that night; she just had to hope that by Christmas day, he would be feeling better.
And Harry was feeling better, or he had somehow managed to shove back down all of the emotions that had slipped through a crack. By Christmas Eve, he was feeling more like himself. He had woken up to his alarm before showering and dressing for the day’s events. He picked out one of his black suits, matched it with a black shirt and a dark blue tie. He neatened his hair as much as he could before meeting his father downstairs for breakfast.
Sirius offered Harry a smile as he sat and said, “Good morning.”
Harry returned the smile, and for the first time in a few days, it felt real. He said, “Good morning, father.”
Sirius's hand paused as it was raising his morning coffee to his mouth. His smile widened. “Feeling better today?” he asked.
Harry nodded. “I am.”
The last few days had been overwhelming. The emotions that he had sworn to himself that he would keep contained for his parent’s sake had found a crack that appeared after witnessing them gush over Harvey. His younger half-brother had once again gotten all of the attention for something that Harry had also done. But he was under control now, no more outbursts.
“I’m glad.” Sirius took a sip of his coffee. “I also just want to say that if you do want to talk about what happened, both your mother and I are willing to listen. Neither of us would judge you.”
Harry nodded slowly. He knew that his parents would be angry at him for the way he was feeling. But Harry had better things to do than let emotions that meant nothing get in his way. He had an apprenticeship that required his attention, as well as his upcoming O.W.L.S.
“I know,” said Harry, “but I don’t need to talk. I would prefer it if we could all pretend that it didn’t happen.”
Sirius’ concerned frown reappeared slightly, but he nodded and didn’t argue.
Eager to change the subject from his emotional spill, Harry loaded his plate with food and asked, “What time are we going to Grimmauld Place?”
Sirius sighed. “Your grandmother has stated that she wishes us to be present by ten.”
Harry nodded. “Do you know what she wants to do today?”
It was typical for Harry’s grandparents to spend Christmas Eve spoiling him. His grandmother seemed to think that Sirius was withholding things that a child of the house of Black should have. His grandparents would take them out for meals and shopping, buy anything that Harry desired before returning to Grimmauld Place for tea. Harry would then normally spend a few hours playing chess with his grandfather or reading. Dinner would be an in-house affair, and it wasn’t odd for a few other family members to appear—mainly the Malfoy’s—but it would be over by nine and Harry and Sirius would return to White Oak Manor by ten.
“Same thing as normal,” said Sirius. “I do believe that Cissy, Carlisle and Draco will be joining us early this year.”
“What about Lucius?”
“Apparently, something else requires his attention,” grumbled Sirius.
Harry knew that his father wasn’t a fan of Lucius, he liked his cousin just fine, but the Malfoy name seemed to rub Sirius the wrong way. It was probably due to Lucius’ allegiance to ‘He-Whom-Must-Not-Be-Named’ in the first war, not that anyone had ever proven Lucius’ guilt.
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Harry checked his appearance one last time before turning to look at the clock. They were required to be at Grimmauld Place in less than three minutes, and Sirius wasn’t in the entrance hall. Harry could hear his father running through the house but had no idea what had distracted him. Making Walburga Black wait just led to nasty consequences.
“I’m here, you ready?” cried Sirius. He rushed down the stairs and grabbed Harry’s arm.
Harry didn’t have a chance to respond before he was sucked away as Sirius apparated them to Grimmauld Place. They landed with a small thump in the narrow hallway, and Harry wasn’t surprised to see his grandmother standing there with her arms crossed.
The clock in the living room signalled ten o’clock, and Sirius cleared his throat and smiled. “Mother,” he said and stepped towards her.
Walburga glared at her son. “I raised you better.”
Sirius sighed. “We were here before ten.”
She scoffed at him and nudged him out of her way. “Harrison, my boy.” Her glare faded, and a small, proud smile graced her lips. “How handsome you look.” She patted his cheek and turned back around. “Nothing like your father.”
Sirius huffed.
“Walburga, please. They haven’t been here a whole minute, and you are already arguing with Sirius.” Orion’s voice floated from the living room.
Walburga rolled her eyes and said, “Be quiet, you old fool. Now, Harrison is there anything that you have had your eye on that your father has failed to buy you.”
Harry glanced over his grandmother to see his father’s red face. “No, father has provided everything, I assure you.”
Walburga let out a small huff before stepping into the living room. Harry and Sirius followed and waited until Walburga sat down before doing the same. There were certain rules that Walburga had driven into Harry’s mind since he was a child. Women were always seated first; if there weren’t enough chairs, then a man must offer a seat to a woman or child, and always respect your elders were just a few. There had been many lessons that Sirius made certain didn’t stick, mainly the pureblood speech that Walburga was fond of.
Harry had always found it interesting how Walburga preached about pure Black blood when Harry himself was only a half-blood. He knew deep down that it probably angered Walburga to her core, but Harry was her only grandchild, and she wouldn’t be getting any more. He was the only one left to continue on the Black family name.
“Kreacher,” screeched Walburga.
The old elf appeared instantly at her side. “Yes, Mistress?” he groaned.
“Tea for everyone, now.”
Kreacher nodded and snapped his fingers. Hot tea and biscuits appeared on the table and started to serve itself.
Walburga took a sip of her tea, and she sighed. “Perfect. Now, for lunch, Narcissa and her boys shall be joining us in Diagon Alley.”
“What about that husband of hers?” asked Orion.
Walburga frowned. “Don’t know, don’t care.”
“I thought you liked the Malfoy’s father,” asked Sirius.
Harry wanted to chide his father’s childish tone, but he knew better. Walburga had a difficult relationship with her son, but Harry must respect his father first.
Walburga took another sip and said, “That man seems to spend more time focusing on his looks than accomplishing anything.”
Harry kept his face straight; the smirk that wanted to appear stayed hidden. He asked, “Grandmother, you have always told me that a wizards appearance is important.”
Walburga nodded. “That I have. But there is being thoughtful, and then there is vanity. Lucius Malfoy is obsessed with himself.” She took another sip. “My only hope is that he hasn’t passed it on to his boys.”
Harry could tell her that Carlisle was no problem. That boy never looked in a mirror; it was normally Amelia running her fingers through his hair and straightening his tie at breakfast that made him look half-human. Draco, on the other hand, was a little vane. The small copy of Carlisle always had his hair slicked back and perfect, almost like their father.
“I don’t think vanity should be your main concern when it comes to Lucius Malfoy,” said Sirius. He had picked up his own tea and was leaning back in his chair.
“Don’t slouch,” snapped Walburga before she said, “and don’t go on about your petty disputes in my home. I rather not listen to that dribble.”
“Enough,” grumbled Orion. “Harrison, how goes your apprenticeship?”
“Well, Professor Snape is providing a great challenge. He also has been assisting him with teaching the first years,” said Harry.
Walburga hummed her approval. “Very good. Severus Snape always seemed to have his head on his shoulders. Regulus always mentioned how talented he was at potions.”
Harry noticed his father stiffen at the mention of his uncle’s name. Regulus was a touchy subject around their family, so he tried not to bring his uncle up. But Walburga seemed to always find a way to do so.
Sirius finished his tea, placed the cup on the table and stood up. “Excuse me.”
He walked out of the room, and Harry watched his head towards the stairs. He wouldn’t be surprised if he found him up in Regulus’ room later.
“What about the rest of your classes?” asked Orion.
Harry stayed with his grandparents and answered all of their questions until it was almost noon. By then, Sirius had come back downstairs and joined his family in the entrance hall. They would apparate to Diagon Alley and meet Narcissa and the boys there. Harry watched his father carefully and wondered if this was how he had felt when Harry had snapped.
Sirius held out his arm, which Harry took, and Orion had Walburga take his. With a blink, they landed smoothly at the apparation point in Diagon Alley. It was lightly snowing in the lane, and the cold chill was pecking at Harry’s fingers. He stuffed his hands into the pocket of his coat and turned to his family, and watched as his grandmother grumbled to herself.
Diagon Alley was extremely busy. People were rushing about, moving from shop to shop, line to line. People were yelling and pushing, trying to get their last-minute gifts. There were a few small groups huddled together, trying to stay warm in their cues as they waited to be allowed into the stores. It was all very typical, but it didn’t stop Walburga from complaining like she always did
Walburga let out a huff of disgust. “Look at them all. Like vultures.”
Orion patted his wife’s hand, which was linked through his arm, and then said, “Relax, my dear.”
“Don’t tell me to relax,” grumbled Walburga. “Let’s get to the restaurant.”
Harry followed his grandparents through the crowd. Orion standing slightly in front to make room for Walburga as she walked, her nose pointed down at those who got to close. They somehow managed to make it down the alley to Horizon Lane. The small section of Diagon Alley that held two little cafes, one restaurant, and an ice cream shop that seemed to be remarkably busy.
Orion stopped just outside the restaurant and asked, “Walburga, did you make a reservation?”
She nodded. “Of course, under Black.”
Orion nodded and headed inside.
“If you pretend to pass out, we could skip lunch and just head home,” whispered Sirius. He had leant close to Harry and offered him a smirk.
Harry shook his head and smiled. His father would do anything to end the day early. Harry whispered back, “I doubt Grandmother would allow that.”
Sirius sighed, and they followed Walburga and Orion inside.
The restaurant was bigger than it appeared from the outside. There was a range of tables that could seat anywhere from two to six people comfortably; booths lined the outside walls and down the back was a small walkway that led out the back to a courtyard where they had outdoor seating. The decorations were simple enough; the walls were a dark olive green with a mahogany wooden trim. From the ceiling floated candles that created a comfortable and warm atmosphere, and the heating charms allowed Harry to remove his thick coat.
A waiter approached their group and quickly led them to a table near the furthest wall. It was a table large enough to seat ten people but had been set for seven. Walburga walked around the table, and before Orion could follow, Harry stepped up behind her and pulled out her chair. He noticed his father roll his eyes at him, but Walburga offered him a genuine smile—which were extremely rare—and patted his hand.
“Thank you, my boy,” she said.
He returned her smile and sat down beside her. Orion took a seat at the head of the table, just to Walburga’s right, and Sirius sat opposite Walburga.
The waiter that had escorted them cleared his throat and said, “Would you like to start your lunch with something to drink?”
Walburga nodded. “Yes, please bring out your best red.”
“The bottle or just a glass?” the waiter asked.
“The bottle.”
“I’ll take a scotch on the rocks, please,” said Orion.
“Same here,” said Sirius.
“And for you, sir?” the waiter turned to Harry.
“Water.”
The waiter nodded and walked off.
“Plan on drinking the whole bottle yourself, mother?” asked Sirius.
Walburga frowned at him. “If you think your attempt at humour will amuse anyone, then you are mistaken.”
Sirius shrugged.
“Now sit up, and don’t slouch. You are the head of our family, not a child.”
Harry found himself wanting the Malfoy’s to arrive. Narcissa would be able to entertain Walburga enough that a family argument wouldn’t erupt. Harry loved his father, but he sometimes enjoyed aggravating Walburga too much.
“Apologies, Draco lost his wand, and we couldn’t find it.” Narcissa’s voice surprised Harry, and he spotted the Malfoy’s moving across the restaurant.
Harry instantly stood; as Narcissa approached the table, Orion and Sirius followed and greeted Narcissa. She placed a kiss on Harry’s cheek before moving to greet Walburga. Carlisle smiled at him and said, “Happy Christmas, mate.”
Harry clapped his friend on the shoulder. “You as well.”
“Harry, did Carlisle tell you what our father brought us for Christmas?” Draco said, stepping up beside his brother.
“No, he didn’t,” said Harry.
“It isn’t all that exciting,” mumbled Carlisle.
Draco frowned. “It’s better than what we got last year.”
Carlisle shrugged.
“Carlisle, Draco.”
The boys turned to see Narcissa standing behind an empty seat. She nudged her head in the direction towards Walburga and Orion, and both of them nodded before moving over to greet their great-aunt and uncle. When everyone was seated, Walburga started her interrogation. And there was not another name for it. Even though Carlisle and Draco weren’t her direct kin, she still had an expectation. Narcissa only let it go on for about ten minutes before she distracted Walburga with gossip; it was the one way to give the boys some slack.
Carlisle took a sip of his drink and said, “Looking forward to tomorrow?”
Harry shrugged. “Not really.”
“I thought Christmas was the one time you weren’t bothered by Harvey?”
Again, Harry shrugged. “This year is just different.” Harry picked up his water and took a large sip; he didn’t really want Carlisle to know what had happened after they separated at Kings Cross a few days before.
“Mother has already said that you are welcome at our home; you can come and hide with us for a few hours in you want,” said Carlisle.
Harry smiled. “Thanks, mate.”
“You can help keep me sane when Mother and Father have their friends over, and they bring Draco’s little minions with them,” said Carlisle.
Draco, from across the table, glared at his brother. “Shut up, Carlisle.”
“Boys, behave!” Narcissa said, sending her children a sharp glare.
Both boys nodded and bowed their heads.
“You really have them well trained, Narcissa,” said Walburga.
“They’re not dogs, Mother,” said Sirius.
Walburga huffed. “Dogs, children, is there really any differences?”
Harry snorted and bit back his laughter as Carlisle frowned at him, no one really wanted to be compared to a dog, but Narcissa certainly had them well trained.
“Aunt Walburga, what do you and Uncle Orion plan to do tomorrow?” asked Narcissa.
Walburga sighed. “Well, Sirius is taking Harrison to his mother’s, so it shall just be the two of us.”
“Sounds rather peaceful,” mumbled Orion. He had somehow found a copy of the daily profit and had his nose buried in it.
“Yes, I think it will be nice to have a quiet Christmas.”
Harry wanted to roll his eyes. Walburga was acting like it was something that didn’t happen very often, but they chose to stay at Grimmauld every year. When Sirius did host Christmas, he invited his parents, but they always elected not to come.
“But I am looking forward to our Annual Family Ball; it will be quite the spectacle this year.” Walburga smiled widely. “I do expect you all to be there, no excuses.”
“Wouldn’t dream of missing it, Mother.” Sirius slouched in his chair and frowned.
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The snow had covered the back yard in a blanket of white. Harvey had spent most of the morning playing in it, building snowmen that his dad would charm and have them dance or chase him around the yard. There had been a snowball fight that Harvey had lost when his mum had jumped in and nailed both his dad and him right in the head. And when Harvey was thoroughly soaked, his mum had fresh hot cocoa with marshmallows waiting.
The inside was also very Christmassy. Lights and decorations covered every room, and a large Christmas tree stood in the corner of the living room beside the fireplace. The fire was crackling, and Harvey was excited to see what was in his stocking. He now knew that Santa wasn’t real, it had been a bit of a let down when his parents had told him that Santa was only a story, but it was also exciting that it had been his mum and dad who had worked hard to make Christmas fun.
The presents and snow weren’t the only things Harvey loved about Christmas; it was Harry’s mood. Every year, no matter how bad Harry had pushed Harvey away, Christmas day was always a bit different. Harry always had a present for him, and he always seemed to be willing to spend time with Harvey. And Harvey hoped that this year would be no different.
Harvey sat by the fire, cocoa next to him on the coffee table and a book in his lap. Lily was in the kitchen, making dinner, and James had been called into the Ministry a few hours earlier. Apparently, Auror’s didn’t get an undisturbed Christmas Eve.
The book Harvey was reading was a potions book that had been his mother’s; it was called ‘Simply Elixirs and Tonics’. Lily had told him that it was a good starting place for anyone interested in potions. She had been surprised when Harvey had asked her for such a book, but once she handed it over, Harvey sat himself down and started to read.
In Harvey’s mind, he might be able to bond with Harry if they had more things in common. Quidditch was the first and easiest thing, but outside of school, Harry didn’t get all that into the sport. He never went to matches or played around with his friends; it was only during practices and games that Harry showed any interest. The next thing was Potions. Harry seemed obsessed with them. Harvey wasn’t certain why; he hadn’t really enjoyed many of the classes that Snape had taught since the year had started, but his mum had told him that it could be difficult at first. When she compared the science of potions to cooking, it seemed to make a little more sense, but some of the ingredients were just gross. But even though there were aspects he was struggling with, Harvey wanted to try.
He flipped the page and sighed at the words. He understood almost everything; there were a few things he wasn’t certain of and had underlined them so that he could ask. Harry would hopefully be willing to help him; after all, he did help him in class when he needed it.
“How’s the book?” asked Lily.
Harvey looked up and shrugged. “Okay, I think.”
Lily smiled. “You think?”
Harvey scratched the back of his head. “I have a few things I underlined that don’t make sense.”
“Did you want me to help?”
“No,” said Harvey. “I’m going to ask Harry tomorrow.”
Lily nodded slowly. “I’m sure he would be happy to explain it to you.”
Harvey frowned; he didn’t like the tone of her voice. “Do I sense a but?” he asked.
Lily sighed. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
“Why?” he asked.
Lily sighed and leant against the couch. She said, “Well, we both know that your brother can be difficult. He has a lot of stuff going on in that teenage brain of his, and it can sometimes make him react unexpectedly.”
“Do you mean like how he got all weird at Kings Cross?” he asked.
Lily nodded. “Yeah.”
“Was he okay when you went to talk to him?”
“No, he was very sad.”
“About what?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know; he wouldn’t tell me.”
Harvey frowned. “But why not? When I’m sad, I always want to tell you or Dad so that you can fix it.”
“I know, and I’m glad that you do that. But when you get older, you find that you don’t always want to share your problems. Harry probably wants to fix it himself.”
“I think that’s silly.”
Lily let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I think so too.”
Harvey put down his book and stood up. He walked over and wrapped his arms around Lily’s waist. “Mum?”
“Yeah?” Lily stroked the back of his head and looked down at him.
“I love you.”
Lily felt a tear prick her eye. “I love you too.” She knelt down and hugged Harvey properly.
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The door to the Potter home swung open, and James stopped at the sight of his wife and child asleep on the couch. He had been called into the office by Kingsley when they had received a tip about a dark wizard. Like most tips that they received these days, it was a waste of time. James had been annoyed that he had been pulled away from his family, but rather than argue, he did what he had to as quickly as possible before apparating home.
Christmas Eve was always supposed to be the three of them sitting by the fire, telling stories, and drinking cocoa. And this year, it seems that he missed it. Two empty mugs were sitting on the coffee table along with a small stack of books, a blanket was covering both Harvey and Lily, and another book was resting on Harvey’s chest.
James smiled and knelt down beside them. He carefully picked up the book and added it to the pile on the table, and gently reached over to nudge Lily awake. She let out a small moan before her eyes flickered open, and she squinted at the light.
“James?” she mumbled.
“Yeah, Lils. It’s me.” James placed his hand on her thigh and smiled.
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep; Harvey wanted to wait up for you,” she whispered.
James looked at his son and smirked. “He was never good at staying up late.”
Lily let out a quiet chuckle. “He tried his best.”
“Let’s get him to bed.”
Very carefully, James slid an arm around Harvey’s back and one under his legs. He lifted him up and slowly headed towards the stairs. As he reached the top, Harvey stirred and nuzzled his face into James’ shoulder.
“Hi Dad,” he mumbled.
James said, “Hi, buddy, did you enjoy your hot cocoa?”
Harvey nodded. Eyes closed, and face still buried in James’ shoulder.
“I’m sorry I missed out.”
In Harvey’s room, James carefully stepped over the clothes that were covering the floor and over the toy broomstick that hadn’t really been touched since Harvey now had his Nimbus. He pulled back the covers with a wave of his hand—wandless magic was useful when you had children—and placed Harvey down. He removed his shoes but didn’t worry about his clothes.
“Night, Dad,” mumbled Harvey.
James pressed a kiss to his forehead and said, “Night, bud.”
He stood in the door frame for a moment and watched Harvey sleep. Just like the rest of the house, Harvey had insisted that his room be decorated for Christmas. It had only added to the clutter in his room, but the smile on his face had been well worth it.
James closed the door and went back downstairs, and sat with Lily on the couch. He lifted his arm over her shoulders and pulled her into his side. He placed a kiss on her head and said, “Sorry, I took so long.”
She sighed and sunk into his embrace. “It’s okay. Harvey and I understand.”
James smiled and moved his hand to ran his fingertips through her bright hair. “How was your night?”
Lily said, “We had fun. I let Harvey have his dinner in here, we played games and read stories, and took turns guessing what we will get tomorrow. Then I made cocoa which he downed very quickly before informing me that since you were working, it was his responsibility to drink your share.”
James chuckled. “Does that mean I don’t get one?”
Lily shrugged. “Sorry.”
“Oh well, I suppose I can survive.”
“I’ll make sure you get through it,” she teased.
He smiled and kissed her head again.
The two of them sat there for a moment and watched the fire. Lily was nestled into his side enough that they could have easily fallen asleep. But as James rested his cheek on Lily’s head, she said, “I’m worried about Harry.”
James held in the sigh that wanted to slip out. Things were complicated because of Harry; he knew that there was nothing to change the fact that Lily shared a son with the man who was once his best friend, but even after fifteen years, he struggled. There had been moments when he had been able to forget the pain that had been caused by his conception, months of heartbreak that James had thought he wasn’t going to heal from. Somehow, he and Lily did make it through. But what James wasn’t certain of is if the pain would ever truly go away.
He did try; James really did. There were moments where his tongue was too quick for his brain, and he would say things that would lead to arguments with Lily and sometimes Harry. But he did try to be nice to his stepson, to help him. But the boy didn’t make it easy.
It was around the time that Harry turned nine that he really noticed it. The boy had once been happy to play with his younger brother, help him, care for him, but something seemed to change. Harry became reserved and started rejecting Harvey in many different ways. At first, he thought it was some form of hormonal thing, he was growing up and having his first moods swings, but things have only become worse. And it hurt James to watch his son reach for his brother and be knocked back. He had mentioned it to Lily more than once, but she tried to use reason to excuse his behaviour. It infuriated him, but he still tried to be nice.
“Have you spoken to him again?” asked James.
Lily shook her head.
James concern about Harry’s behaviour increased when he got home and found Lily crying. She told him about Harry’s sudden change of mood at Kings Cross and how it seemed to happen when Harvey showed up. James had held her and then suggested that she needed to talk to him. Lily did just that, but she hadn’t been able to get much from him.
“Did Sirius say something?” he asked.
Again, she shook her head. “No, Harry has closed himself off from us. Sirius said he has been withdrawn since he got home.”
“Do you think something happened between Harvey and Harry at school?”
“Harvey doesn’t think so.” Lily sat up and turned on the couch; she brought up her knee and clasped it in her hands before resting her chin on it. “Maybe I asked too much of him.”
James frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Before the year started, I asked him to keep Harvey safe,” explained Lily. “And then when Harvey made those ridiculous accusations about Severus at the Quidditch match, I sent him an owl and asked him to see if he could stop Harvey from doing something stupid.”
“Sounds reasonable to me,” said James.
“Is it, though? I mean, I am asking my son to parent his younger brother. Shouldn’t we be the ones making sure Harvey is safe and that he isn’t going to cause trouble? Harry has all this pressure on him because of his apprenticeship this year, and now I’ve put Harvey on top of that. How is that fair?”
James ran his hand over her thigh in a comforting gesture and said, “I think we both know that Harry would have told you if he couldn’t handle it. He isn’t shy about his feelings.”
Lily shook her head. “No, I think he is. When I went to see him…he was…he was different. I haven’t ever seen him in such a state.”
“You said he was upset, but what was so different?” asked James.
“The look in his eyes was something more than just anger or sadness; it was like he was broken.” A tear appeared on Lily’s cheek, and she quickly rubbed it away.
James frowned and leaned forward; he cupped her cheek as another tear appeared. “I think you and Sirius both need to sit down and talk to him; if something is going on in that head of his, then you need to know.”
“But what if he won’t talk to us? What if I failed at being his mother?” More tears fell.
James wiped them away. “You haven’t failed at being his mother. I think given our situation, which I know I’m not always helpful with, you have done the best job you can.” He offered her a small smile. “Talk to him. Maybe not tomorrow; let's try and keep tomorrow a good day, but before the boys go back to Hogwarts.”
Lily nodded, and she leaned back into his embrace.
Seeing her like this made his heart ache. James knew he made things hard, but for once, he was going to try and help. If needed to do the adult thing and forget about his pain and help his wife and her son.
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