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「一樓到了，一樓是化妝品女鞋專賣區。」季慈在彎腰恭送客人出電梯的小空檔，偷偷放空眼神，藉以舒緩疲勞。所以當他看見程華站在不遠處，露出笑容專注地看他，季慈臉上有些燥熱，一種被抓到的尷尬。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0GHyoD2mQ
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季慈笑了笑把尷尬驅走，程華見他笑邁開步伐進了電梯，照例喊了二十樓。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFViOCmMD6A
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電梯裡的人不多，季慈能隔著面版看到程華認真閱讀廣告版面的側臉。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgsK18AhrG
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季慈在想，程華是他在奇怪地方，藉由奇怪形式，認識的奇怪個性的朋友。季慈會套用這麼多奇怪，主要是程華所表現出的各方面皆與他不相同，兩人卻神秘的擁有近乎相同的興趣。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSuvXOvGAC
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程華喜歡找他一起看展覽、文藝電影，這些休閒將季慈的休假發揮到最大效益，充實了他的生活，與他平日下班或在休息室休息的活動不約而同。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPiAaem3RO
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相處這段時日他感受到的程華釋放出來的溫暖，彷彿補齊了遺失的事物，更重要的是程華為他帶來了不同過往生命中的氣息，是雀躍、活潑，以及熱誠，那與他自己的不同，是真正能夠溫暖冰冷的熱度。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfHL6OwAq5
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其實季慈知道，他知道程華專注的目光下是什麼情緒、什麼感覺，這是在他看過這麼多人後，唯一一個能夠讓他如此透視明白的一個人。程華喜歡他，並且認真的在追求。但季慈直到昨天都只是將他當作一個單純，並有共同嗜好的朋友。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL37d93bdvn
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他是不是應該告訴程華，短時間內並不打算再接受新的感情？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqku1jjpLdf
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程華的視線驀地對上季慈，嘴角彎了彎，無聲的嘴型在說著：專心上班！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqiZlZzdBy
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季慈拉開嘴角，直到除了程華之外最後一位客人出電梯後兩人依然沒有對話。季慈以為程華會上前攀談，但他很守紀分地幫他維持住工作守則，最後僅是在電梯門關上前回身朝他匆忙一瞥。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oaAZg6to3
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那一記眼神令季慈呼吸一滯，程華的情緒在他眼底一直都是透明的，清澈到總是一眼就能明白過來——為什麼隔了一晚，喜歡猝然成了愛呢？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMqeeBXwFw
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季慈忽然發現自己的反應彷彿對愛過敏一般，他渾身不自在的、倉皇的、恐懼的失了步調，急促而快速的按著關門鍵，像個膽小鬼躲在電梯裡喘息。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHVT8XPM1p
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季慈整天都在想程華那個眼神，越想越不知所措，而程華在他下班前傳了訊息給他，約他吃消夜，這段訊息換來了他人生第二次衝動。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCCA22ySPZ
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即使有了答案，季慈下班時內心還是有些忐忑，他僵著一張臉穿過僅餘一盞路燈的車道，上了程華的車方做好，程華歡快的聲音說：「帥氣的電梯先生，上班辛苦了。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSecQEBnHC
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季慈低低嗯了聲，他正在思考自己應該直接拒絕程華，還是再稍等一會，對方要開車，應該要讓駕駛保持愉快的心情。他滿腹心思都在拒絕的時機、拒絕的話語跟原因上打轉，他想告訴對方：他對愛情現在沒有想法、沒有感覺，只有恐懼。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuBTm64U1O
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程華轉動鑰匙發動引擎，一邊打檔踩下油門，車子流暢的進入車流中，一邊放柔聲音：「很累？那路上買個熱食帶回家吃？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZEt18bCMa
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季慈暗暗深吸口氣，強迫自己的腦袋冷靜下來，不發一語地望著程華專注開車的側臉，直到等待紅燈，程華轉臉面對他，用笑容無聲詢問時，季慈才緩慢的說：「我不餓，你餓嗎？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPF1PoIRTc
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「我也不餓。」程華搖頭，似乎看出了季慈的異狀。「今天特別累嗎？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUtw6nXY6m
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「不是，我只是在想事情。」季慈搖頭，努力憋著以免自己在不對的場合裡說出來。「綠燈了。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpWT7ooPc1
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程華倉促的發出無意義聲音，趕忙跟上前方車輛。這座城市雖然並非不夜城，但晚上十點仍舊熱鬧。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5YiwiWSBk
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季慈因為心事重重而不說話，程華便也一路保持安靜，整段路程聽的全是小提琴獨奏，加上車體或車外不時傳來的聲音，所合成的荒腔走板演奏，季慈也感到內心有道荒腔走板的聲音。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ815DUebncN
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就在到達季慈的住所時，程華突然叫他：「季慈。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCxXmHpgeA
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「嗯？」季慈原先還有些傻愣的不在狀況內，但頭一轉，程華的表情讓他大感不對勁，他害怕的話將要被說出口，逼得他只能急忙一面解開安全帶，一面道：「晚安，謝謝你，辛苦你等我下班了。到家打給我。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0MJCkP4aV
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言語、動作一氣呵成，話剛說完季慈已經開門下車，也不待程華伸長了手想抓住他，喉嚨裡的聲音來不及發出，碰地關上車門，頭也不回的跑了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOObcHKmAf
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「我到底在做什麼。」季慈氣喘吁吁地靠著自家門板，緊張得手心不斷盜汗、發抖。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeL5ecKoZO
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當他冷靜下來，脫掉鞋子預備進浴室盥洗，時間像是被掐準般，程華的電話來了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt81SZvbRg
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「……」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Qt3aJlnPU
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「……」季慈沉默的接通電話，另一方也異常沉默，這樣的安靜太異常，季慈害怕程華繼續剛才那個被他中斷的話題，短暫的猶豫後奪了發言權：「晚安，到家了？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxmXIumm8j
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「晚安，到了……」季慈察覺程華話語未盡，二度搶白，直接了當的說出了想了一晚的話，毫不婉轉：「對不起，我不想談愛、談感情。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZ5mBDNzSm
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話筒的一端的寂靜被延長，彷彿看不見盡頭的折磨人心，季慈覺得身周空氣稀薄，不覺閉氣。他完全喪失時間感，憋得心臟都快要停了，程華突兀的輕鬆語氣拯救了他，「……我被拒絕了，太哀傷了。」這答案乾脆到令他生出些難過和遺憾。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYiWzg7FR0
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又聽程華說：「請問電梯先生，可否看在同是天涯淪落人的份上，明天下班跟我去喝杯酒呢？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIURX7Ms3GA
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這個邀約令季慈有些錯愕，他以為程華會想要獨自療傷或什麼，可能暫時不會再見面，或者有更多的接觸，結果程華的行為模式就跟他出現的方式一樣，使人錯愕。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiaHg8iXlO
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「……明天不行。」他的聽力忽然變得靈敏，程華的呼吸梗了下，他又連忙補上一句：「星期日晚上可以。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02APMr3uhf
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「沒問題！」程華急忙道，聲音比起剛才更顯精神，像是深怕他反悔似的，快速地說：「那你快去休息吧，晚安。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyPoK8hJxc
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「晚安。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30HFyXpnw8
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掛上電話後，季慈忽地厭惡起自己，為什麼明明是拒絕了，還要為對方的反應而難過與高興呢？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4yMLDdZKx
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但程華最後的邀約確確實實的讓他感受到開心，一種不被遺棄的愉快，以及頓生的貪心。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUDsLTR7pF
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