Dear Jack,
I don't know what to write in here actually. Right now, I am struggling to form any words to write in this letter. I know you don't want to be associated with me anymore especially that I disregard your efforts before. This letter may not arrived to you or you wished to disregard this like what I did but I just wanted to tell you things I didn't tell you before. That's why my courage brought me to write to you. These days, my mind has been bugging me a lot when I heard of your accident. Different what if scenarios are playing in my mind and my conscience is pricking me. What if you don't recover? What if someone didn't saw you that day? What if a sudden blizzard came and no one noticed you laying in the ground? What if... What if I lost you? I don't know Jack. I really don't know how to face you when that happens. I hate to attend another funeral of my love ones. Love... Yes you might not believe me when I say this but I loved you, Jack. I love you and even now, I still do. Remember when you played the guitar and sing to me with your friends around? That day, I was so overjoyed and flustered. Because for the first time, one man decided to take his chance and court me even if everyone is scared of me. Just because I came from a family of mafia doesn't mean I'm also like them. Seeing you being brave and courting me even though everyone is scared of me feels overwhelming for me. That's what my heart felt. It was beating crazy Jack. Your voice might not be perfect but for me, I deeply appreciate and yearn it. But even so my heart is telling me to say yes and love you, my mind was also telling me that I can't. That I need to stop myself from falling in love with you. I was my parent's own prisoner. I have been told by them to disassociate myself with you. It was heartbreaking and I don't want to follow it but I know in my heart that I don't have a choice. I have to comply or my Dad will do everything to make you suffer. I don't want that so I left and never came back. I know I left you heartbroken when I suddenly left and I was too. Every single day, my mind was full of thoughts about you. My heart never wavers loving you. But that was not an excuse for what I've done so Jack... I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I didn't come back. I'm sorry that I was never brave enough to fight for you. I will not blame you if you choose to ignore this letter instead and never forgive me. Jack, leaving you was my greatest regret and pain but that choice will be chosen again if somehow time rewinds. I would rather live to be hated by you than for you to suffer and be destroyed by my Dad. Jack... If you still love me or wanted to talk to me. If you ever read this letter, can we meet in Fraidess Cafe; today at 8 pm? I want to see you again if you will give me a chance to do so. I want to tell you everything you wanted to know about. I wanted to make things right again for us. If you don't wanted to, it's alright. I will understand your decision and will not bother you ever again. I will be waiting for you always, Jack.
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With love,
Marie
ns 15.158.61.44da2
