Eren squinted his eyes. After two days in the dark damp cell, the sudden onslaught of brightness blinded him and filled his vision with black and red spots. He raised his cuffed hands to discern the faces of the men standing in front of him. He recognized them as the three that had visited his cell earlier. The one on the left he knew very well. The pudgy conceited face of the town guard chief who had locked him in the prison for two days was one he was not likely to forget for a long time. Of the other two men, the one standing to Eren’s right was a priest, from the bleached robes emblazoned with the gold sunburst that hung from his scrawny frame. His black shoulder-length hair was glossed so that it shone in sunlight and his pale gaunt face was twisted in disgust. That left the sizable man in the middle. He was almost as tall as his da and equally wide. But where Myron’s width came from his musculature, this man’s girth mostly centered around his enormous stomach that strained against his black leather coat and breeches. He had long grey hair tied neatly behind him and a hard creased face. But it was his dark eyes that perturbed Eren. There was a hungry gleam to them that made Eren feel like a piece of meat under a butcher’s shank. It was a mark of his exhaustion that he did not shiver under the scrutiny of that intense gaze.
“What is your name, boy?” asked the man in black, the shiny silver pin on his chest glinting disorientingly in Eren’s eyes.
“Eren. Eren Millstrem,” he whispered back hoarsely. His dry throat hurt from the effort of talking.
“Do you know why you are here?”
“Water.” Eren croaked in reply. “I need water.”
“Get the boy some water”, the man ordered the chief. “What have your guards been up to? The boy can barely talk.”
“Uh, sorry, Chief Inquisitor. Right away.”
Chief Inquisitor?
Eren had heard that title somewhere, but he could not recall just then. Muntoose hurried out of the room and soon returned with a cup of water which he slid across the wooden table they were sitting at. Eren grabbed the cup and drank thirstily. It wasn’t enough to quench his thirst but it wet his throat allowing him to talk a little more easily.
“Now, boy. Do you know why you are here?” the man asked again.
“Da. Where’s my da?” Eren had not heard about his father in two days and the worry was gnawing at his nerves.
The man looked confused and turned to Muntoose with a questioning look.
“Now look here boy.” The chief pointed a finger at him. “The chief inquisitor asked you a question.”
“I am not talking until I’ve talked to my da,” Eren said warily.
The Chief Inquisitor narrowed his eyes. “Do you really believe you are in a state to make demands right now, boy?” he growled.
In normal circumstances, Eren might have found the man intimidating. There was a menacing aura about him, and his dark beady eyes seemed to bore into Eren’s mind. But after two days of ripping throats, clawing hearts, and soaking in blood in his dreams, Eren did not have enough left in him to feel threatened.
“They’ve got my da.” Eren thrust his cuffed hands towards Muntoose. “Tell ‘em to release him. He hasn’t done anything. When I know he’s out, then I’ll talk to you.”
“Why is the boy’s father in custody, chief?” The chief inquisitor raised his eyebrows at the town guard chief. “And why did I not know about it?”
“Uh, well,” Muntoose stammered at first but then started talking rapidly. “The man is a thug, your honor, a goon. He attacked the guards, threatened to kill them. If I hadn’t subdued him … “
“Liar!” Eren shouted, his blood heating up to hear his father insulted. “I heard what happened when my da came looking for me. Heard you ran like a wet mozi with your tinker tucked between your legs. Couldn’t face him so you hit him in the back like a coward. Now, you hide behind these two like a ponsy, talking trash?”
“You mongrel.” Muntoose started towards him, his hands raised in a strike. “How dare you speak to me that way?”
Eren stood up so fast that the rickety wooden chair he was sitting on toppled to the stone floor with a loud crash.
“Try it, you filthy little nitzhil,” he snarled. He lunged towards the portly town guard, baring his teeth. “I will rip your throat with my teeth. Don’t even need my hands for it.”
Mongoose stumbled back away from him in shock, almost crashing into the wall behind him.
From the corner of his eyes, Eren saw the hand coming, and reacted instinctively. His years of early morning combat training kicked in and he ducked and swiveled to his right out of reach. The Chief Inquisitor stumbled over the table clutching the air. The three men stared at him in disbelief.
Eren sneered at them. “A chief inquisitor, a town guard chief, and a priest. Scared of a lowly miller boy. What will people say to that?” He did not know the source of his bravado, but he felt almost exhilaratingly filled with confidence and hate.
“Why you?” Montoose exclaimed red-faced, trying in vain to regain his pride. “You think I’m scared of a mongrel like you. I have, I have faced criminals far more dangerous than you, boy.”
“Ha.” Eren shot back at him with a feral grin. “Didn’t have the guts to arrest me without your henchmen, did ya? Showed up at the inn like slinking teerth because you didn’t have guts to face me and my da at the mill.”
“Enough!” The man in black slammed the table. The other two men flinched and Eren turned to look at him. “Chief, I suggest you get out of here before you embarrass yourself further.”
Embarrassed, Muntoose looked from the man to Eren, flapping his mouth soundlessly.
“Now, chief.”
Muntoose gave Eren a look of pure contempt and then stalked out of the chamber. The chief inquisitor turned his eyes on Eren.
“And you. You don’t know how much trouble you are in, boy. If I were you, I would pick that chair up, sit down, and answer my questions.”
Eren gave the man a deadpan stare. “You wanna ask me questions? Fine. But I’ll answer them only after you let my da go and I see him.” Then he looked away. His eyes were starting to hurt from looking at that silver brooch.
“Boy! You are going to be beheaded for murder. So I suggest …”
“I did not kill anyone.”
The chief inquisitor looked at him skeptically and then sighed, his face relaxing into a resigned expression. “Then help me prove it, Eren. Talk to me.”
Eren was still suspicious, but his rage was starting to deflate. He picked up the fallen chair and cautiously sat down.
“I want to see my father first.”
“Very well. Priest Baeor, would you be kind enough to ask Chief Muntoose to bring Eren’s father here. Make sure he understands that I am the one ordering him to do it.”
“Yes, your honor.” The priest bowed and then left the room.
Eren looked at him with surprise. He had not expected the man to relent so easily. But the chief inquisitor simply smiled at him as they waited. Eren realized he found the man’s smile more disturbing than his severity. Maybe it was because it never quite reached his eyes. His gaze was hungry, and when Eren looked away he could still sense it focused on him.
“Eren!”
Eren jumped from his chair and rushed to the door, enveloping his father in an embrace, as best as he could with his tied hands. It was awkward but the relief he felt almost made him weep.
“Da. Are you alright?” he asked anxiously, noticing the white dirty bandage wrapped around his head.
“Yes.” His father gave him a weary nod. “And you?”
His father looked even older than he had two mornings ago when they had the uncomfortable discussion. But his strong stoic presence was the first spark of sunshine Eren had felt in the maelstrom of gore and despair of his last two days.
“I am alright, da.”
His father gave him a strained smile in reply then turned to speak to the Chief Inquisitor. “May I speak with my son alone, your honor?”
Eren gaped. He had never heard his father act so deferential to anyone before, not even the mayor. The chief inquisitor gave the father and son a dubious scan and then nodded and left the chamber, closing the door behind him and cutting off the sound of protests from a very agitated chief of guards. As soon as the door closed, Myron rounded up on Eren.
“Tell me you didn’t do it.” There was a mad ferocity in Myron’s gaze. “Tell me you didn’t kill Feldor.”
“Da.” Eren couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Tell me, Eren.”
“I didn’t. I swear by Joha’s light, I never went near him.”
However, Eren could not tell whether his da heard him or not, from the vacant look on his face. Suddenly, he grabbed Eren’s chin roughly and pulled him under the sunlight streaming through the skylight. He tilted Eren’s head up, turning it left and right, searching for something. When he found what he was searching for, he groaned and dug his fingers painfully into Eren’s cheeks. Eren grimaced and pulled out of his grasp, backing away towards the wall in alarm.
“Da, what are you doing?” Eren weakly enquired, still smarting from the Myron’s rough grip.
But Myron was not paying attention to him anymore, instead looking at the floor and mumbling to himself like a mad man.
“Da,” Eren yelled.
That broke Myron’s trance and when he looked at his son again, Eren noticed fear and despair on his face.
“Everything will be alright,” he said, reaching towards his son but Eren moved out of reach.
“Everything will be alright, son,” Myron repeated, clasping Eren’s hand with his own. “I just need you to trust me.”
“Da. I am scared. What is going on?”
“I will explain everything. But for now you have to do as I say. Do you trust me Eren?”
“Da?”
“Do you trust me?”
Eren hesitantly nodded his head.
“Then do exactly as I tell you.” Myron lowered his voice to a whisper. “I am going to make them let me go.” Eren started to object but Myron cut him off. “Don’t worry about how. Just listen to me. It will take a day or two, but I will come back for you. Do you understand?”
Eren did not understand. He was confused and terrified. But there was a plea in Myron’s tone, and he found himself nodding again. “What do you want me to do?”
“Hang in there. Don’t let them get to you. Don’t try to lie. They’ll know. Answer their questions truthfully. But no matter what happens do not admit that you're guilty of anything. Do you understand?”
His da was not making much sense but Eren still inclined his head in assent.
“Good. Now, I’ll go talk to them. Then I’ll come back and see you before I leave.” Myron bent and kissed his forehead. “I will get you out of here soon, I promise. Wait for me.”
Myron withdrew and left, leaving Eren standing at the wall dazed, confused, and more frightened than he had been before.
When his fathers returned, the chief inquisitor and the priest were with him.
“I’ve decided to let your father go.” The inquisitor announced. “In return, he has assured me you will fully cooperate with me and answer all my questions. Is that right?”
Eren glanced at his father, noticed the slight dip he gave to his head, and nodded in agreement.
“Very good.” The chief inquisitor gave him a toothy grin and then turned to Myron. “You may leave.”
Myron bowed to the inquisitor, gave Eren another small nod and then departed. Eren realized he had never felt more alone in his life than in that moment.
“Sit, Eren.” The inquisitor gestured to the chair, seating himself opposite him. “Let’s talk.”
Eren approached the chair cautiously and sat down. “What do you want to know?”
“Let’s start with Feldor Hargreev, shall we?” The inquisitor smiled, his predatory eyes expanding with interest, and this time Eren did shudder.
The questioning went for hours. First, the inquisitor had him recite his every single move from the morning of the engagement till the evening feast. His eyes widened a little at the mention of Haysteed’s son and his friends inviting Eren for more drinks after the party, but otherwise he did not give any untoward signs that he found anything suspicious in Eren’s account. After that Eren did not have much to tell about that night, except somehow he had found himself in front of his kitchen door hours later. Eren honestly didn’t remember how he had gotten home but he did remember giving Gannett a hug outside the inn, and they, laughing about something stupid before he left them.
Then came the questions about Tam and his disappearance. Eren was prepared for most of them, having answered them several times to several people before. Yes, he had known Tam since childhood. Yes, they were good friends. No, he had no idea where he was. Though he decided to mention Tam’s desire to leave following another violent confrontation with his father and the places he said he would like to go, hoping that would make his answers sound more believable. He was careful to keep the true nature of his relationship with Tam hidden and was relieved to see the inquisitor didn’t seem to catch on. After he had given a detailed account of what had transpired that night three years ago, he felt drained but also slightly relieved. It felt good to let it out, even if it was not the complete truth and he was confessing to a stranger.
“And there is nothing else that you can tell me about that night, that was strange?” The inquisitor asked, his chin propped up on his crossed knuckles. “Did you see anyone? Did anyone follow you?”
Eren shook his head.
“So what do you think happened to Tam?” He asked.
“He ran away. He hated his father and he finally had enough and ran away.” Eren replied instantly. Suddenly he realized Tam would never know his da was dead. He wondered if the boy would even feel remorse when he found out.
“But why do it that night? Why go to all the trouble of arranging this little adventure if he was planning to run?”
Those were the questions Eren had asked himself many times in the past three years. He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe he was not planning to run that night. But then, he decided he might as well.”
“But why not tell you about it? Why leave you alone asleep in the middle of the ruins?” The man pressed.
Eren felt a flare of irritation. “I don’t know. Maybe he thought I would try to stop him. Or maybe he just thought it would be hilarious to give me one last fright,” he answered hotly, his neck prickling with discomfort. “He was a strange boy.”
“And were you frightened?”
Eren looked at the inquisitor. There was an odd expression on the man’s face, a mix of curiosity, amusement, and certainty.
“No. Well, yes, at first. Then, I thought he was trying to pull a prank. So, I decided to wait till he revealed himself. But he did not, and I realized he might’ve actually run away.”
“So, what did you do next?”
“What else could I do? I went home.”
“And who do you think killed Feldor?”
Eren sighed. He was getting tired of the persistent questioning, but his father had told him to cooperate. “I don’t know. Me and Feldor, we did not get along. But he did not get along with anyone in town. After Tam ran away, he disappeared too, and I didn’t see him again until he started mouthing all that nonsense at the ceremony.”
“Ah. Well, you can see Eren, why we would think you had something to do with his death. After all, it was you who he was accusing of doing away with his son.”
“His son!” Eren spat vehemently. “He never treated Tam like a son. He never cared about Tam. He used to beat him black and blue whenever he got drunk. Did you know, he used to work at our mill? He kept getting drunk in the middle of the day and creating a ruckus. If you are drunk around those milling shafts, you could get killed or worse get someone else killed. So, my da threw him out. After that, he started bad mouthing us all over town. He was obviously just trying to create a scene that day so he can get back at my da, that’s all.”
“I see.”
“I don't know who killed him, but it was not me.”
The inquisitor stared at him for a while, as if trying to make up his mind. Then sat back into his chair.
“Well. I think that is all for today.”
“Can I go home now?” Eren asked wistfully, his heart beating a little faster at the prospect of finally escaping this Joha-renounced place.
“Unfortunately, not yet,” the man replied.
Eren deflated visibly. He should’ve known they would not let him go so easily.
“But soon.” The inquisitor gave him a sympathetic smile. “As soon as I can verify that everything that you have told me is true. I will tell the chief to move you out of the dungeon and into one of the holding cells. How about that?”
Eren was having a hard time believing him. But he remembered what his da had said about not letting them get to him and nodded at the inquisitor. At least he would not have to spend another night in the cold and the dark.
“Thank you,” Eren replied politely.
The man gave him a broad toothy smile that crinkled the creases of his face even more, but never reached his eyes.
——-
Eren stood frozen in the grip of the green-eyed monster. The smell of rotting flesh and heat from its blazing eyes assaulted his senses mercilessly. But he was powerless. The monster lips curved into a smile. It was a smile of familiarity, Eren realized, as if the creature recognized him. And it spoke.
“Tarakeen, you have come.” It said in a guttural raspy voice. “We have waited so long for you.”
Eren frowned, confused at the creatures' words.
“Remember, Tarakeen.” Its grip tightened on Eren’s arms. “Remember who you are. Remember, your destiny.”
A shadow fell over them and something moved beyond Eren’s sight. The creature's expression contorted into anger. It shoved Eren aside and moved forward.
“Eren?”
Eren whipped his head. Tam stood there, his face painted with fear and alarm. “Eren, get away from them.” He shouted.
“No!” The creature screamed. “You shall have him no longer. You filthy humans!” It lunged towards Tam. Tam slipped and fell. The creature pounced upon him. Eren tried to shout but his throat was locked shut. He pushed himself up and rushed towards where Tam was struggling with the creature on the ground.
But they were no longer there. The world twisted around him, turning into a whirlpool of black, brown and grey, and suddenly he was standing in front of a giant mass of silvery white. Tam was there too, pinned to the white structure, locked in the creature's grip.
“Eren. Help me.” Tam begged.
“They did this to us.” The creature screamed. “These filthy humans. They imprisoned us. So much pain. So much suffering. For so long. Kill him! Kill the human!”
Blistering hate rose inside Eren’s heart. It turned into rage. His vision turned red and hands became dark whetted claws. He advanced towards the struggling human.
“Eren, please,” the human pleaded.
But all Eren could register was the blood pounding in his ears and the intense desire to kill and maim the frail creature. He rushed forward and plunged his claws into its chest.
The human let out a guttural cry. Blood pooled into its mouth and started to drip from its lips. Eren’s rage subsided, and he looked at his blood-soaked claws that were plunged inside the chest of the boy he loved. He met Tam’s eyes in shocked disbelief.
“You said you loved me.” Tam croaked and then went still.
Eren screamed.
Somewhere a gong rang, its sound steadily growing louder until it devoured Eren’s scream. The world lurched again and as Tam slipped away from his arms, he heard a voice loud and clear in his head.
“Remember, Tarakeen. Remember your pledge. Remember your destiny.”
A guard was pounding on the iron bars of his cage with his mallet.
“SHUT UP, will ya,” he bellowed. “You ruinin’ mah sleep, crazy mongrel. Don’t know why we couldn’t ’ve left ya in the dungeon.”
He left and Eren breathed a sigh of relief. Then he remembered his dream and looked at his bands. Instead of claws, his calloused palms stared back up at him.
You don’t have claws, you idiot. It’s just a dream.
But his self-denial did not have the same usual ferocity. The blood dripping from Tam’s lips, the shock and accusation on his lover’s face, his last gasp of breath as Eren’s claws squeezed around his heart, was still very real to him.
“It’s just a dream. It’s not real,” Eren sobbed, drawing his knees to his chest and burying his face in them. “I didn’t kill Tam. I didn’t.”
Oh, but you did. The voice in his head whispered back. As you sure as the sun rises every morning, you did.
-----
Next day, it was almost evening when the guards came to fetch him for more questioning. He had not slept since his nightmare, too afraid of what he might dream again and what it meant. He felt weak and drowsy and could only allow himself to be dragged back into the chamber where the inquisitor and the priest sat waiting for him. The guards dumped him unceremoniously into his chair and then left, closing the chamber door behind them.
“How are you doing, Eren?” the inquisitor asked.
“I want to go home,” Eren moaned, refusing to meet the man’s eye.
“I understand this is very trying for you, Eren, living here under lock and key for three days. But I cannot let you go just yet.”
“Why not? I have told you everything I know. I did not kill Feldor.”
“I am an inquisitor. It is my job to make sure that justice is served. And I am not fully satisfied yet that you have told me everything.”
That made Eren lookup. The inquisitor sat leaning over the table. His hands were clasped under his chin in a relaxed pose and a sympathetic smile played on his thin lips. But his dark eyes were ablaze and Eren found himself shrinking into his seat under its hungry gaze.
“I have told you everything,” Eren repeated, cautiously. He felt something had changed from yesterday. The man’s smile was mocking him, telling Eren that he couldn’t hide his secrets any longer. Eren remembered his da’s promise and tried to keep his calm.
“Tell me again, what else happened between you and Tam that night.”
Eren gulped before he could stop himself and the man’s smile broadened. “Nothing. Nothing else happened. I’ve told you everything,” he stammered, his heart starting to race.
“I think you are lying to me, Eren.” The inquisitor’s soft tone was more terrifying than if he had been shouting. “In fact, I know you are lying to me.”
Eren shuddered.
The inquisitor unclasped his hands and leaned back. “I know you and Tam were not just childhood friends, you were more than that weren’t you?”
Eren couldn’t control the look of dread that crossed his face. He knows!
“Yes, you were lovers, a pair of little degenerate critters who went to those ruins that night, away from prying eyes, to fulfil your disgusting carnal desires.” He said it in a nonchalant tone, as if he was describing a pair of slugs. Eren pressed his lips tight.
He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. He is only shooting blind arrows in the air.
“And after he used you one last time, Tam told you he was leaving you, didn’t he? He was tired of his father and tired of you. He was going to run away.” The man’s voice started to rise. “But you couldn’t have that. It made you angry, angrier than you have ever been in your life. And in that rage, you killed him.”
“No!” Eren shot up from his seat in wide-eyed fear.
“Yes, Eren. You killed him and you buried him. And then you went home and pretended that Tam had run away.”
“No. You are wrong.” Eren backed away into the wall, clenching his fists tightly.
“Eren, do you know why you have nightmares?” Eren remained silent, not trusting himself to speak. “Scriptures say nightmares are a sign of guilt. Don’t believe me? Ask the priest.”
“I did not kill Tam.”
“Yes, you did.” The inquisitor stood up and slammed the table making him flinch. “You did. But Feldor never gave up looking for his son. He searched and when he couldn’t find him anywhere, he went to the ruins and found this.”
From under the table somewhere, the inquisitor produced a motley bundle of rags, a pair of wooden mugs, a wine casket and a clear glass phial. Eren’s eyes bulged in recognition.
“He imagined what had happened. But no father wants to believe his son is a heraadhin. So, he came back and accused you of bewitching and killing him.”
“No, no, no.” Eren whimpered. “You are wrong.”
The inquisitor did not heed his pleas. He walked around the table, approaching him with a threatening, measured stance as he continued his dribble.
“Your poor father. He finally realized what you did, what you are and killed Feldor to hide your shame.”
Eren stood frozen under the man’s unrelenting gaze as he came closer.
“But he couldn’t forgive you. He couldn’t forgive what you were. So, he left this near the body to make sure you are punished for your crimes.” From his pockets, the inquisitor produced a gold wristband.
Eren’s gasped as he recognized it. “Where did you find it?”
“It was found near the body of the murdered the man, Eren, your promise band. How did it get there?”
“I don’t know.” He stammered. Last, he had seen it, he had been putting it in his jacket’s pocket.
“Because your da put it there for us to find.” The inquisitor was so close to him now, he could almost feel the man’s breath on his face.
“My da would never do that. He would never kill anyone, and he would never try to frame me for it.” Eren shot back, trying to regain his composure. “You all are lying.”
“Then why did he run? Why did he run from Silver Peak last night?”
Eren blinked.
“He was seen leaving the town in a hurry by one of the watchmen.” The inquisitor answered his unspoken question.
It all came rushing back to Eren, his father's tired appearance, crazy eyes, mad mumblings, the look of disgust on his face when he had confronted Eren about his preferences. He felt his legs give away under him and he collapsed to the floor. The inquisitor stood over him menacingly.
“He left you, Eren. He left you here to be punished because he hates you. He hates what you are.”
“You are lying! You are all lying!”
The inquisitor bent down to his level and took Eren’s chin in his grasp. “Who do you think people will believe? You, a faardi half-blood mongrel, or us, the Chief Inquisitor, and a priest?” His voice was so soft, Eren wouldn’t have heard him if his face wasn’t so close to the man. “Do you know what they will do to you, a killer and a degenerate?”
He held up the promise band to Eren’s face. “What do you think will happen to poor Mara when people find out what you are? You know how cruel little towns can be. She will never be able to show her face in public again. She will lose her inn and where will she and her poor ill mother go then. And your da? He will be caught and executed.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“It’s my duty, Eren, to maintain the rule of law and justice in the land.”
“But it’s all lies.”
“Not all of it. Once they know of your inclinations Eren, no one is going to look for the truth. Everyone will draw the same conclusions that I have, or worse. But,” he reached out and caressed Eren’s cheek with the back of his palm. “If you let me, I can help you.”
The man’s hands were cold and Eren shuddered at the touch.
“Why will you help me?”
“Because I like you, Eren. I like you very much,” the inquisitor said softly. He grabbed Eren’s hand and put it on his aroused member, pressing his lips to Eren’s. Eren froze for a moment at the unexpected gesture. Then, coming to his senses, he unhooked their lips and tried to push the man away. But the inquisitor was much stronger than he looked and held Eren’s hand in a vice grip
“What are you doing?” Eren choked. He looked gobsmacked, from the priest, who was still standing behind the table avoiding his eyes, to the large man next to him, holding Eren’s hand on his hard prick.
“What’s the matter, Eren? This is what you want, isn't it?” The inquisitor said huskily. “I can give everything you want. I have helped many like you. I can help you too, so that you never have to be afraid of what you are again.”
“Let go of me!” Eren yelled and finally managed to snatch his hand away. He pushed the assaulter aside and managed to crawl from under him. But he wasn’t fast enough. The slap caught him across his left cheek and sent him sprawling to the floor. The inquisitor caught him, quick as a shafu and gripped both his cheeks painfully with one hand.
“Don’t make me angry, boy,” the man growled. “I want to help you, but I can also be your worst enemy.” He let him go with a jerk to his head, stood up and walked to the door. “You have one day to decide if you want to live and be free from your curse or die painfully and bring shame and disgrace to all your family and friends.”
And then he was gone. The priest gave him a look of pity and contempt and followed his companion, leaving Eren on the floor, terrified, and deeply ashamed of himself. The guards came back a few moments later and carried him down to the dungeons.
----
Eren stayed in his cell all night and day, trembling with fear, shame, and rage. The inquisitor’s words tormented him. He thought of Mara’s face, filled with disgust and betrayal. He thought of the town’s people heckling and calling her names as she was forced out of her inn. He remembered his promise to her, and the shame only grew more. He had no business making her the vows that he did, and it disgusted him that he had sunk so low.
He thought of the revulsion on his da’s face that night and the awkwardness and unease between them all those weeks and months leading up to it. He recalled his father’s murderous rage at Feldor and how he’d finally broken down and cried in front of him. He remembered his da’s promise that he will come back for him, overshadowed now by the inquisitor’s news that his father had run away in the night and abandoned him.
Then he remembered Tam, his emerald eyes shining as he told Eren he loved him. The eruption of warm bubbly self-consciousness that he had felt when Tam had pledged that he would take Eren with him. His surprise as Eren’s claws dug into his chest, the blood gushing down his lips and final expression of betrayal of his face as he took his last breath in Eren’s arms. Reality and dreams fused together until Eren could not separate the truth from the fiction.
No one came down to check on him, not even to give him food or something to drink. By the time evening rolled around the next day, he felt so weak he could barely keep his eyes open. It was only the terror of what he might dream that kept him awake. As the last of evening’s light slipped away, shrouding his cell in darkness, he heard footsteps approach. A moment later, a creased old face came into view, looking uncannily disembodied in the light of a fire torch.
“Well, Eren,” the inquisitor asked. “Have you made a decision?”
ns 15.158.61.39da2
