Still collecting mass from the nebulae to be mature soon. But for now, its core isn't hot enough to carry out the processes that define a star. Its light is also constantly dimmed by the surrounding dust, making it unable to be observed. But we know that it's going there. To be another bright stationary firefly in the night sky.
#
- Cluefer Alcantara -
A loud knock on my door awakened me. Still half-conscious, I stood up and opened the door while rubbing my eyes.
"Sir, your father wants you to join him for breakfast," the maid said.
"When did he arrive?" I asked after having a huge yawn.
"He just arrived sir, together with your brother."
"Archy was also here?"
"Yes sir,"
"Okay, thank you," I was fully awake now because of this news. I changed my clothes and made my way to the dining hall.
"Clue!" my little brother jumps out into his seat and runs to me.
"Archy!" I said as I hugged him. It has been months since I last saw him.
"It's been so long. I thought you are going to follow me?" Archy pouted his lips as if trying to sulk.
"Yeah, I will, but that was after I graduated," I said, throwing a glimpse toward dad, who clears his throat and said, "don't worry Archy, it will not be long before your brother goes to Canada. I am arranging his document already," he said.
Archy pulled away from me, "You are finally going to Canada?"
"We'll see," I replied and resumed taking a seat.
"It's going to be cool!" Archy states, "Can you get me a Canada hat?"
"Canada hat?" I grinned, "If I saw one, I will get it for you."
"That sounds like fun." As Archy finished his bowl of congee, he smiled and carried on with his meal. During breakfast, I felt claustrophobic. In an attempt to bring up the subject of me not going to Canada, I kept glancing at my father, but he was too busy eating breakfast to notice.
After eating, Archy returned to his room to play, and Dad urged me to come outdoors with him. The two of us went outside the flower garden that my Mom had fostered. Their brilliant and inviting hues made them stand out in a crowd, but they couldn't take away the anxiety I'm experiencing today. It was a race against time, and I was drenched in sweat. I came to a halt in front of one of the towering plants.
"Dad," I started awkwardly, "do I really need to go there?" he immediately turned to me.
"Yes, of course, you need to be there. I need someone to look for our business there, and besides, we had a deal. I agreed that you study here for college, but in return, you will go to Canada and manage the business there."
"What if I don't want to? What if I wanted to stay here?" I blurted out. Dad locked his eyes on me with a very stern look.
"You've heard me tell you before: Behave and pay attention to what we have to say. I believe you are of an age where you can comprehend that," he said. He was outraged, to say the least. Again. One of my father's pet peeves is when I disagree with his decisions. Even so, the more I think about it, the less inclined I am to go.
"I did," I said, "I behaved, got fantastic grades, and always did what you and my mom told me, even if I don't want to." I looked at my father, who was still giving me the same stern expression.
"You did, indeed. And now look where you are. You're in a good spot. You have a roof over your head, your meals are prepared for you, and you have the freedom to spend as much money as you want. That's because I made certain of it. And all I want is that you do what I say since I know you'd lose if I didn't tell you what to do."
"So that's how you see me, a loser?" I became outraged by what he said and began to tighten my fist. I can tell Dad noticed, but he merely sighed and stared at me.
"When you were a kid, you used to do that as well," he snorted, making me even angrier. "And now that you've stated that you've grown, what have you accomplished? Nothing, if you look at it from my perspective. You're still unable to use that fist."
"That's what you think of me, that I can't use it?" Anger was all I felt right now that I can't prevent my self shouting.
"Cluefer!" my mother admonished. I didn't know that she was there. She makes her way in between me and my father.
"Can't you talk about this calmly?" she said, alternately looking at me and dad.
"You better talk to him. I don't have the luxury to tell him everything he should already know," he told mom. "And don't you ever yell at me again!" then he rushes out of the garden making his way inside the house.
My mother and I were left in there. I felt that the ills of the world had fallen on me. Mom tries to comfort me by placing her hand on my shoulder, but I refuse it. I leave the garden without glancing at her. I was enraged, but also embarrassed. I almost ran over my father. I was humiliated that I was capable of doing such a thing due to my wrath, and it makes me feel guilty.
I entered my room, slammed the door behind me, and walked to the balcony, where I could see our backyard. I began by looking out at the huge green grass yard, which ended with the lines of thin but numerous trees in the forest. I could hear the rustling of leaves outside due to a light breeze,making me feel a little more at ease.
#
- Rhed Vasquez -
Because it was Saturday, I awoke late, nearly 10:00 a.m., dressed, and left my house. I didn't bring my car since I wanted to stroll around town and take in the fresh air in the morning. I strolled through the small park and onto the main road that led into town, where I intended to eat breakfast. I haven't walked past this sidewalk in a long time, and it's definitely a different perspective strolling alongside the road. Despite the fact that everything appeared to have changed significantly, I was still extremely familiar with it. I used to walk here with my mother and father every Sunday after church. But now it was only me.
I eventually made it to Briner's, a fast-food restaurant where I habitually eat. I'm a regular here, so much so that I have a table reserved just for me. As I came in, I saw how few people there were. There were few families present, no office workers, and no young individuals like me. And it's odd considering this place is normally busy on weekends.
"Good morning Rhed," the owner greeted me with a cheerful smile. "Same orders?" she asked.
"Good morning Mrs. Mich, yes, the same," I replied and seated myself at my usual spot. "Not much people now?"
"Yeah, I wondered. On a normal day, we are usually panicking due to a large number of orders, but today, there is still plenty but not the same as before," Mrs. Mich said.
"Maybe some of them are trying to cook their own meals," I told Mrs. Mich. "But I'm sure that once they found out that they can't cook better than you do, they'll come back here."
"They better be," the owner chuckles.
Not long after that, my order arrived. I always had a Briner's breakfast sandwich with bacon and eggs with fries on the side. I like the flavor, which is a good mix of saltiness, bacon, and egg sweetness. Not to mention their incomparable french fries. Of course, I also requested a freshly brewed cup of coffee.
I finished my breakfast and left Briner's. I decided to go back to our house to get my car and visit my mom.
Driving to the hospital is usually difficult for me. All I ever want is to come at the hospital and find my mother awake so we can talk again. But for the past year, I've been arriving there with mum still in a coma. But every time, the hope that Mom will be awake and well again still there.
I parked my car in the hospital parking lot, then went to the lobby and rode the lift up. One, two, three, four, and then one last step to reach my destination, the 10th-floor. I entered the room. It was peaceful before opened the door until I heard it. The machines are beeping in a rhythm. The occasional breathing of the ventilator gives a faint "pst-pst." The beeps of the machine beside the bed are the ones that keep me and my mother in a strange form of life that no one would wish to be in.
''Mom,'' I said gently, sitting beside her bed and holding her thin and almost dry hand. "It's Rhed. I am here. Do you hear me? ''
I paused for a second as if waiting for her to answer, then continued. ''How are you feeling? Mom, do you remember when we used to go to the church every Sunday and eat at the Briner's after? I miss those days." I softly say those words to my unconscious mother. I became so soft, almost like a child begging for toys.
After a few minutes of silence, I sighed and began telling her about Clue. I can't explain why but I think it was a new thing for me to finally have a friend so I must tell mom.
"Mom, I've made a new friend, but his name is a little strange. It's Clue. Isn't it strange, Mom?" I'm still holding her hand and gently caressing it. "But, I believe, he is kind. I also helped him with his project. Mom, didn't you want that? I'm slowly getting better, but I'm trying to get better for you so that when you wake up, you'll be proud of me again "Tears welled up in my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away.
I pressed my forehead to my mother's as if asking for her blessing. I stiffen, my eyes becoming gentler. It felt like forever that I have been waiting, and after a while, I slowly moved away from mom. When I shaded my brow with her hand again, I noticed it twitching.
"Mom," I said quietly as my tears start falling. My mother's finger moved again, making me page the doctor as quickly as I can.
Within seconds, doctors and nurses rushed into the room. Because one of the nurses led me outside, I had no idea what was going on in there. But hope is growing within me, hope that I will be able to be with my mother once more. The hope that we will be able to spend more time together.
It took nearly ten minutes for the door to open and some of the nurses to exit. I dashed over to the doctor and asked him.
"What happened? Is she going to wake up soon?" I asked with the hope that the doctor would say the same thing.
"Rhed, I'm hoping to be able to say the same thing... However, according to our assessment, there have been no changes in your mother's condition "In a soothing tone, the doctor said. But it doesn't stop the disappointment from engulfing me.
"But I feel it, and I saw her hand move" the hope that I had felt a while slowly faded. "I saw it."
"I am not saying that what you saw isn't true, but it could be just an involuntary reflex. But it could have been an involuntary reflex. There are numerous examples of this. Even the dead tend to move parts of their bodies after rigor mortis," my hopes were crushed even further when the doctor explained. "But I can assure you that if we notice any improvement in your mother, I'll be the first to let you know. But please excuse me for the time being "The doctor taps my shoulder and walks away.
I decided to stay there, holding my mother's hand and occasionally talking to her, telling her everything, even the foolish ones. Before I knew it, the nurse had entered the room and informed me that my mother needed to rest.
As a result of what had happened, I returned home with heavier feelings. When I arrived, I went straight to bed. I didn't want to be a like this, but I was always felt empty and alone, as if the world around me was about to fall apart at any moment. I shut my eyes and imagined what would happen if Mom did woke up today. I believe this would be his happiest moment—waking up to the smell of bacon and eggs permeating all over the house. I believe I imagined it so vividly that I can smell the bacon and eggs as well as hear the sizzles in his kitchen. As a result, I decided to get up and go there.
For a brief moment, I am baffled and unable to move or make any sound. I had just watched the woman in the kitchen as she tossed the bacon and eggs onto the plate before turning to face me.
"Oh, you're awake at last," she said as she placed the plates on three different locations on the table. "Come on, let's eat."
"Mom?" I finally said.
"What?" mom looked at me with a huge smile curving on her face, but I am still very confused.
"What are you doing here," I asked.
Mom turned to me again and asked, "Where else would I be?"
"In the hospital, I was just there, mom," I said.
"You silly, why would I be there? I am always here with you," she said as she instructed me to sit as well.
Still, as confused, I sit across the table facing her. I was just staring at her with a puzzled look. She seemed to notice so she asked.
"So are you going to just look at me like that, or you are going to tell me about your new friend?"
"Who's friend, mom?"
"Your friend Clue, the one you are telling me about a while ago"
I became more bewildered by what she said but there is an urge that I wanted to talk about him.
"Oh, Clue," I say. "But I'm not sure if he considers me a friend," I said as I helped myself to some bacon. "And he's as strange as his name, h e is enthralled by the stars Mom, can you imagine? But he's nice, and I feel at ease when we're together I admit, and you know he told me he has a condition called hypersomething I can't even pronounce," I looked at her as I said those things, and she smiled. "He said it was a condition that caused him to recall everything that had happened in his life." As I tell this, she sits beside me and takes my hand. Her hands, unlike before, are warm and not as thin as they were in the hospital. I felt comfort and ease.
"That's great. That was the Rhed I remembered. Talkative, energetic, enjoyable, and caring. I want you to be like that again, son, and if this new friend of yours can help you, I'd be delighted to meet him." My mother's tone is full of sincerity and love, and her grips are so firm that when I awoke, tears streamed down my cheeks.
The next morning, I felt like a heavy rock was somehow lifted from my shoulders. I felt good this day, and I am feeling inspired again. I looked at the clock; it was only six o'clock in the morning, but I decided to get up right away. It's the first time in almost a year that I've felt the need to clean this house. Despite the fact that someone cleans here once a week.
I begin by cleaning my room. I took a quick look at it and realised that it was, indeed, a little messed up. I began by picking up obvious trash, then placed the clothes from the laundry shop that hadn't been folded or hung on one of the chairs. I threw it on my bed so I could fold it later. I started organizing my shoes, books, and other unorganized items. After a few moments, my room has taken on the appearance of a real room. All I have to do now is fold my clothes before I can start cleaning the kitchen. I folded the clothes one by one until I found a familiar shirt. I didn't own it, but I recall wearing it a few nights ago. Then I realized it was Clue's shirt. He let me wear it when I had a flat tire. I folded it and separated it from the rest of my shirts.
After finishing my room, I cleaned the kitchen, living room, comfort room, and two other rooms on the second floor. I also clean up the yard. I began cleaning the windows and the front door. Despite the fact that our backyard is only a small area with a fence and grass, I'm tired of cleaning it all. I was exhausted after all of that, so I sat on my bed for a rest.
After a while, I grabbed my bag and took out my camera to go over the photos we took the day I shoot with Clue. There I saw his photo, which I candidly took to see if my settings were correct. Looking at his picture now, I felt a sense of relief, knowing that even in my dreams, I could communicate with my mother again, and I believe it was because of him.
I decided to process the photos I took during the shoot so that I could give them to Clue the following day. Because I wanted these shots to look as natural as possible, I didn't do much editing. I just adjusted the lighting a little and it was good to go.
When I called Clue to tell him he could get the photos, his phone kept ringing, but no one answered. Despite the fact that I didn't have a class until the afternoon, I came at the university early the next day. Clue's phone is still unattended, making me to wait for him in the parking lot.
Not long after, a black Honda coup arrived. I saw Clue go out of his car but his mood seemed to be a little different. I just can't tell exactly but I can somehow feel it.
Then he saw me. And at that moment, he smiled again, trying to hide the melancholy he might felt.
"Are you waiting for me?" he chuckled a bit.
"Yes," I said trying not to sound excited, and Clue seemed to be puzzled by this act.
"Hey, what got into you? Did you eat something spoiled?" Clue asked teasingly.
"Bastard!" I replied and gave him the flash drive containing the photos. "Here are your photos."
"oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that. By the way thanks!" he said.
"Why don't you answer your phone? Don't you know that I don't have any class this morning and I have to wake up early just to give that to you?" I said annoyingly.
"Hey, what's with the attitude? I'm sorry okay?" he said making me a little perplexed by how he reacted. I think I might exaggerate that I actually offended him.
"It's just I'm a bit occupied in our house yesterday, so I don't have time to attend my phone," he continued.
I felt bad and wanted to apologize, but I didn't. Perhaps he is bothered by something. I wanted to ask what's wrong but I was hesitant because I wasn't sure we were that close to discussing our personal lives.
"By the way, thanks for this. My class will start in ten minutes. I'll have to go now." then he left me alone in the university parking lot, puzzled but still a little worried.
#
- Cluefer Alcantara -
I arrived in our room just as the professor was about to enter. Jade signaled me to take the empty seat beside the window so that we wouldn't be overheard. Arah and Patrick, who appear to be waiting for me, are close behind.
I sat there, and Jade said to me right away, "You're almost late. What have you been up to?" He said this as he reached into his bag for his notebook.
"I overslept," I said. "And I also get this," I showed the flash drive to Arah and Patrick.
"What is that?" They both asked.
"It's the photos for the project. Rhed gave it to me this morning. I will start editing the posters and advertisement banners tonight so that we can submit it early." I said.
"Okay, that's good."
Then the four of us paid attention to the class right up to the end of the period.
On the way out, Jade grabbed my arm.
"Hey, I don't have practice today. Wanna hang out?" he asked.
"I... don't think I can. I have to edit our project," this is what I told Jade, but the truth is I just wanted to be alone at least just for some time.
"What? That wasn't due until next week, c'mon Clue,"
"I know, that's why I need to do it now," we're on our way to the parking lot, and Jade is still trying to convince me to join him.
"Okay, here's the deal. If my group gets the grade of 1.00 in this project, I'll treat you guys a hangout, promise." I said it so that he would leave me alone.
"Deal! You said it and you cannot take that back," not thinking twice, Jade agreed.
He shook my hand and walked away, leaving me shaking my head. As I got into my car, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go home yet. I wanted to be alone. To reflect on things that was bothering me. I started the engine and began driving. I had just the right site in mind.
I parked my car in our garage, changed my clothes, and walked across our sprawling backyard to the forest. It wasn't a forest, after all. It's just a part of our property's perimeter where my grandparents planted a lot of trees. It was secluded and quiet, and walking there allowed me to think things through. I simply followed the path I usually takes when I first discovered this sanctuary. But it was fading because I hadn't been there in a long time.
The afternoon breeze greeted me once more in the clearing at the cliff's edge. I sighed along with the sound of the rustling leaves, and there I saw the town. It was just a cluster of houses and cars moving down the busy streets. Being completely alone here and no one bothered me let me feel the atmosphere that was so peaceful and I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time.
I lay down on the bushy grass and took another deep breath. I let my muscles melt as I tried to figure out how I ended up the way I am now. I'm currently quiet and withdrawn, and I'm perplexed by how I feel. I preferred to be alone, but I also liked to be surrounded by people, particularly by friends. And I wanted to be able to talk to someone without feeling embarrassed. But I can't seem to find the way how I'm going to do that.
I felt the calming warmth of the sunset showering my face. I was in this position for a while until my phone beeps. I didn't intend to bring my phone with me. It just happened that it is in my pocket. I decided to ignore the message, but it beeps again. I right myself and looks at the screen of my phone. I then recognize the number of the sender. "Rhed?" I say quietly while I open the message and read it.
[Hey]
[Did you check the photos already?] this time, I came up with the sense that I needed to do our project.
[No, not yet. But I'm sure to check it later] I replied.
[okay] this ended our conversation.
While sitting, I watched the sunset. The horizon is painted by the playing shades of orange and purple. The sunlight soon fades into the night sky. The stars of the night now shine bright. I looked at the sky unconsciously naming the stars and the constellations I could spot.
"Polaris... Sirius... Altair... Vega... Canopus... Bellatrix... Antares... Betelgeuse... Andromeda... Orion... The Big Dipper... Cassiopeia..." I said tracing those constellations with my fingers, creating imaginary lines that connect them.
Until I closed my eyes again, relaxed, and let the night breeze cool down my face. The last red eye of the sun disappears. The wind is no longer cool but is now cold. I start to adjust to the coolness of the night.
There, I began to think about what could happen if I went to Canada with my dad. I am certain that I would work at our company and be recognized solely as Dad's shadow. No one will take me seriously, and they will only prefer me because of my father. And that is the very last thing ever I want.
While I was thinking this, the wind blew again, making me open my eyes. Because the moon had shined brightly tonight, it wasn't too dark. I looked at my phone and was surprised to see that it was already nine o'clock at night. I rose, let out one more heavy sigh, and decided to return home. I can see my shadow from the moonlight shower passing through the leaves with the wind, which appears to be guiding me as I walk past the tall trees.
The wind blew one more time, and my feet stops at a spot. I turned around to look behind me. Nothing. I see nothing so I continue to walk and soon reach our house. As I was on my way up to my room, I saw my mom.
"I haven't seen you since this afternoon. Where have you been?" she asks.
I slightly frown at her. "I went out with my friends and was having fun. Nothing much happened," I replied. The last part, I said with a low, grumbling voice. I didn't wait for her reply. I just walked past her and walked towards my room. She was still saying something but I didn't listen. I shut my door and I started to do the rest of our project.
#
Today, after one week of effort, editing, and designing, we will know what grades we got. I can see Jade's excitement not because of the grades but because of the thought that I will be treating them if we got the perfect score.
"Remember Clue, you have to treat us later if your group got a perfect score in this project, okay?" he said smiling from ear to ear.
"I know. I will treat all of us if we got a perfect grade," I confirmed.
In no time, the professor arrived, in his hand was a piece of paper.
"Settle down," he called everyone's attention, "The grades for your project are now released."
The room became silent in a heartbeat. Everyone had eyes focused on our professor, who was still holding the piece of paper in his hand.
"Everyone did really good in this project, but I want to personally congratulate Cluefer's group for gaining a perfect score ."
I and my group were ecstatic about that. But it was nothing compared to Jade, who is now thinking about the spoils he will get later from me.
"So, where are we going tonight?" Patrick asked. "I mean, you will also treat us, right?"
"Yes, of course, you and Arah need to be there. We wouldn't have a perfect score if not because of you two," I replied.
"Yeah, and I think you should also invite Rhed," Arah suggested out of nowhere.
"Who's Rhed?" Jade asked brows furrowed more than they should be.
"Our photographer for the shoot. He's very quiet and a little intimidating, but he is good," she explained.
"Yeah, I'll invite him," I said, smiling. In fact, I was really going to invite Rhed even if Arah didn't suggest it. "But I'm not sure if he will join, but I'll still try my luck."
"So it's a tonight then? Nine in the evening?" Jade confirms.
#
- Rhed Vasquez -
I was trying to focus on revising a chapter for the documentation of my project when my phone rings. It was on my bed and I was on my study table far from it, making me ignore it until it stops. But for the second time, it rings again. Annoyed, I stop what I am doing and stood up, and picked up my phone.
[At last, you answered] I can feel the excitement in Clue's voice.
"What do you want?" I replied.
Clue laughs on the other line.
[Well, I actually wanted to ask you something, but to be honest, I was afraid to ask you this because I'm not sure about your answer.]
I was unconsciously walking back and forth inside my room, but I stop because I am beginning to get annoyed again.
"Just stop wasting my time and tell me."
[Yeah, chill, I just wanted to invite you tonight, let's hang out. And don't worry because it is my treat.] he said energetically.
I lay down on my bed and stares at the ceiling. "Why is he asking him to go out? And why it is so sudden?" I asked myself, then I let off a deep sigh but careful not to let him hear it.
"Why are you inviting me?" I asked instead.
[Because your photos gave us a perfect score. That's why we wanted to thank you]
I honestly don't know what to say. It has been so long when someone invited me to hang out. And I wasn't really fond of going out, especially in a place full of crowds, but it was Clue who's inviting me. It slips out of me that he was still on the phone.
[Rhed, are you still there?]
"Yeah, I am here." I breathed deeply. "Where and when?"
He tells him the place and time eagerly.
"Okay, see you there," then he hangs off the phone.
After the call, I looked at the clock. It's almost 8:30 in the evening.
I sat on the bed again, pondering about what to wear tonight. I don't usually care about how I look but it makes me wonder why I am worried about it now. "It's just Clue and maybe some of his friends," I told myself.
I then run to my closet to look for some clothes to wear. I tried a couple of clothes in there, but everything seems to be a little off. In the end, I decided just to wear ripped jeans and a white T-shirt.
It was 19 minutes past nine when I arrived at the club. It was the same club where I used to hang out before the accident happen. I got my phone and called Clue, but he wasn't answering.
I'm starting to get anxious remembering the feeling when I couldn't contact mom that night.
"Rhed!" a familiar voice called me. I looked at the man who called me and I saw it was Patrick I remembered, he had just arrived as well. "Glad you could make it. Why aren't you going in?" he asked.
"I-I just arrived, and I'm trying to call Clue," I told him.
"Nah - just come with me, we'll meet them inside."
We entered the club and were welcomed by loud, upbeat music. People are dancing while enjoying their drinks. It was more crowded now compared to when I used to be hanging out here every single night. Not long after, I spotted Clue with Arah another guy.
"Hey there, you made it. But you're late" Clue approached and guided me to their table. "By the way, this is Jade, my best friend. Jade, this is Rhed, the man behind the photos that gave you this treat," he said, laughing. I can notice that he already had a little drink.
"Nice meeting you, bro. And I saw your shots. It was good," Jade said, offering a hand.
I just shake his hand but I didn't say anything.
The three of us sat together while Arah and Patrick volunteered to get drinks.
"I hope you enjoy Rhed. I was really doubting that you would come especially in such an immediate invitation.
"So what's the occasion? Why the sudden invitation?" I returned the question.
"Just like I said, this is my thanks because our project got a perfect score, and that's because of your shots," he explained. "And I wanted us to hang out before..." I looked at him because he stopped at the last words. I also noticed that Jade turned at him as well.
"Before what?" he asked.
"What? No, never mind that," Clue said. But I was certain that it wasn't just nothing.
"Well, okay if you say so."
None of us spoke for almost two minutes until Jade started to look for Arah and Patrick.
"What's taking them so long, I wanted to be wasted tonight, and it won't happen if they can't get drinks fast. As well as our friend Rhed. Am I right, Clue?" Jade asked Clue, who is also eyeing for the two.
"Yeah, right, no one will go home without being wasted," then the two of them laughed.
"You know what? You should go after them," Clue suggested. "The two of them might be doing something else."
"Right, I can't wait anymore. This night happens once every blue moon, and I can't wait for another for a Cluefer Alcantara's treat" Jade then walks towards the crowd and he disappeared.
I was a little awkward when Jade left the two of us. I don't know if it's just because of the ambiance or because of the person beside me. He was wearing his usual casual black shirt topped with an unbuttoned polo shirt and jeans. He was always having this cool aura even if I can see him blush maybe because of the alcohol.
"So, what did you do these days?" he looked at me trying to start a conversation. It was new for me because I have never seen him this awkward. He was trying to avoid eye contact as he was speaking.
"Nothing much. I've been focusing on school works and stuff, you know graduating students," I answered. "What about you?"
"Nah - nothing interesting as well, just projects and university stuff," I just nod at him.
Our table was again filled with dead air as both of us seems to be hesitant to start another conversation.
Thankfully Jade comes out of the crowd with a bucket of drinks in one hand and a half-empty bottle in the other.
"I can't find the two of them. They might be really doing something," he said, winking at Clue.
"Well, if that's the case, I guess this is all for us, so please help yourself" Clue gestured towards the ice-cold drinks.
I wasn't really much of a drinker. Not because I easily get drunk, but because I don't like its taste. But Clue already opened a bottle and handed it to me.
I get it. But I didn't drink. I just put it on the table.
Jade noticed it and asked, "you don't drink?"
"I haven't been drunk since..."
"Just let him be, Jade," said looking at me. He appears to notice that I wasn't comfortable with the question his friend is going to ask. But I don't want to be a killjoy so I grabbed the drink and gulp almost half of the bottle. I can see them watching me do it.
After that Jade laughed said, "now we're talking. Cheers."
After a few rounds of drinks, the tension and awkwardness are now dispersing, and I can feel that as I am starting to get more comfortable although alcohol is starting to kick in and I already feel a little hot. I even smiled when Jade tells his nonsense jokes, but I wasn't smiling because of that. I was smiling because of the sound Clue's laughter made. He laughs like a cat I don't know how to put it but that's what I hear, he was like a laughing cat.
Time flies and we are already on the third bucket of drinks. That's when Arah and Patrick come back and it is obvious that they are both drunk. I can also see Patrick's hand was on Arah's lower hips confirming that they weren't just friends.
"Where have you been?" Jade asked.
"We've seen some of our old friends on another table and they didn't let us leave. I'm sorry" Arah said.
"It's all right, we've had some great conversations here as well," Clue butted in. "Right Rhed?"
I just nod and take another gulp of my drink.
We drank the rest of the liquor on the bucket until Jade and Clue start getting some mumblings. Patrick also decided to bring Arah home because she was beginning to get dizzy as well.
"Hey Clue, I think I need to bring Arah home now," Patrick said.
"Can you drive?" Clue worriedly asks.
"We'll take the cab don't worry."
"Well, if that's the case bye then. And take care you two."
They went out of the club. Patrick was almost carrying Arah all the way because she seems to pass out.
Then Jade get closer to me and started telling me something I cannot understand.
"I can't understand what you're trying to say," I told him but all I heard was just mumbles.
"I shaid that I need to pfee." He got up and said through his laughing fits," I need to go to the reshtroom."
Clue laughed politely as he see him walking unsteadily towards the restroom on the right past the crowd.
"Now that's what I call a dance," he said, pointing in the direction Jades went.
I just smiled and nodded. I'm too lazy to talk because the alcohol is hitting hard but I can still manage myself.
Clue sipped another bottle right after Jade disappeared in the crowd. But I can see that he had so much already, so I get the bottle from Clue.
"Hey, I think you had enough," I said.
"Hey, don't get my bottle," Clue said, mumbling.
"Relax, you had more than enough," I stop him from reaching for the bottle in my hand and try to stand up.
"I guess I should find Jade and make sure he's okay," I added. "And don't drink anymore, okay?"
"Wait," Clue said, firmly grabbing my arm almost making me trip.
"I'm his friend. I'll find him," he said.
"But you're drunk. You'll trip into the people dancing."
He was clearly drunk and I can see that he is having a hard time standing straight because of the alcohol. I was the only one that was the most sober. I placed both of my hands on Clue's shoulder and put him back in his seat.
"I'll find Jade, and we'll be going home, okay?" I told him.
"What? No. No one is going home." then he laughs before passing out.
I just let out another deep sigh, "What a mess," I told myself.
I make my way towards the restroom, trying my best to part the crowd of people dancing at the dancefloor.
"Hey," I said, tapping Jade at his back, who was standing in front of the toilet.
"What's up?" he managed to say. I noticed that he was holding his stomach and looked like he's about to throw up.
"Come here." I got hold of Jade's arm and pulled him back into our table. Clue was still in there sleeping.
"I'll bring you two home, C'mon," I said trying to get wake Clue up.
"No, you don't have to. I can go home alone. Clue. It was a Clue that you need to look after. He is different when he is drunk," Jade said glancing at his friend.
"But you can't drive like that."
"I won't. I'll take the cab. I'll see you around," he said then he gets his jacket and went out almost like walking in a circle.
I look at Clue, thinking about what Jade just mentioned. I sat beside him, and there I looked at him. He looked at his face, trying to find some answers. And while I do it, my heart starts feeling weird. Like there's something swelling inside of me like there is something that flutters inside his stomach. I thought that it might be because of the drinks, but it's different. It was weird, but I felt good.
The more I looked at him, the more profound the feeling becomes. I stared at his face, his prominent nose, thick eyebrows, and his lips. But I suddenly felt confused why I felt that way. I was in this thought when Clue mumbles something I cannot comprehend. I couldn't understand him. He was sleeptalking. After a while, he let out a big yawn.
On his mumblings, there is only one word that I recognize. This word was "stay." I just let it slide and because it's getting late, and the crowd is getting fewer and fewer by the time.
I decided to wake Clue once again and bring him home. I shook Clues shoulders, but it was no use. I tried waking him up again and again. I heard people saying that the club is going to close soon. So even if I'm not sure where Clue's house is decided to carry him inside my car.
"Hey Clue, where do you live? C'mon," I said, gently tapping his face, but all I get is maffle.
I had no choice. It's very late, Clue is wasted, and I don't know where he lives. Leaving me no choice but to bring him to my house.
I drove through the empty streets; the only sound I heard was the wheels rolling over the asphalt road, the wind flowing through the opened windows, and Clue's snoring. I drove for about twenty minutes.
When we got there I slowly guided Clue to my room, where I put him on the bed and covered him with a blanket. I was about to leave him in bed when he grabbed my hand, making me lose my balance and fall atop him. Our face was so close to each other that I can smell the alcohol in Clue's breath. I abruptly felt my heart beating so fast, almost like saying something was wrong, but I ignored it. We stayed in that position for I don't know how long.
"I don't want to go," he mumbles under his breath, making me get back up on my feet. Suddenly, I felt thirsty, so rushed into the kitchen to drink a glass of water, then I went to the sink and splash water on my face. I took out deep breaths before going back to the room. But there I was aghast by what I saw. He was sitting on the side of the bed, and there were pukes all over the floor.
I instantly went near Clue and helped him up; I put his arm over my shoulder and started walking towards the bathroom. He was moving slowly as if he was a heavyweight. We finally reached the bathroom and opened the tap for cold water. I splashed his face with water and started rubbing his back. As I does this, he threw up again.
"Rhed, I'm sorry for the mess," he hardly said, then throws up again.
"It's alright. Don't worry about it. I'll clean it later," I said pouring more water over his face to wash it. "Let's come over to the bed so you can rest." I pulled his arms over my shoulders again, but when he stands up, he slips on the wet floor, making both of us lose our balance and fall.
Lucky that I was sobber, I managed to control the fall but not enough to keep us dry. In all my strength, I guided Clue back to the bed. I can see that both of our shirts are soaking wet.
I tried to talk to Clue, but he passed out again, leaving me no choice but to change his clothes. I unbuttons Clue's shirt, take it off then threw it in the bin. I hesitated if I would also take off his pants but it was also wet so I did. I can feel the blood rushing into my face making it hot when I saw Clue's underwear and the silhouette of something bigger than the average. I completely take the pants as well as his socks.
Then I remembered that Clue's shirt is still there, the one that I used. So I went to my closet and got it together with one boxer short. I put all of those while he was drunk asleep, occasionally mumbling words I cannot understand. After that, I cover Clue with the blanket then leave as nothing happened.
I was in the middle of wiping the traces of vomits in my room when Clue called my name. It was soft almost like a murmur again but I know what I heard was my name.
"Rhed"
"What?" I asked, sitting on the side of the bed.
"Thank you"
"What do you mean? Why are you thanking me?"
"For not taking me home. I don't want to go home" his voice was almost like a whisper, but I can still understand him.
"Why? Why don't you want to go home?"
"Because..." I waits for him to continue what he was gonna say, but it seems that he falls asleep again.
I just sighed and continues cleaning and changed my clothes. But while I does it, he started talking again.
"I want to watch the stars with you," he said making me looked at him. His eyes were shut, but he keeps on talking.
"In that other world. I am going to live the way I wanted, and I will have a huge backyard where I will be able to see the stars. That is what I am going to do after I graduate. And I want to go there with you," his voice became softer and softer again.
I come near Clue and talk to him, "Where is that other world Clue?" after a long silence, Clue talks again.
"Beyond the stars or maybe in the middle of a supernova," then he chuckles a bit.
"You are making no sense again, Clue," I frown at him.
"Yeah, but that's what I want. I want to go away. I want to go..." his last words are just murmurs again, making it unable for me to comprehend.
Clue rolled towards the other side of the bed, making the blanket uncover his body. I noticed it and immediately covered him again. While I did this, I looked at Clue's face again, and I saw traces of tears coming out from his eyes. I also heeded that the pillow had some tear stains on it.
I cleared the strands of Clue's hair that is covering his face. As I do this Clue, lets out gentle sobs. I wiped the tears left on his cheeks and gently stroke his hair again.
"Thank you," Clue said very softly. Then he smiled. The sadness in his voice seemed to pierce deep into my heart, but I was confused about why he was smiling, and another pair of tears flowed down. While I wipes it again, I saw this smile was the saddest smile I had ever seen.
#
- Cluefer Alcantara -
A ray of blinding light awakens me. I tried to get up but was unable to. This is due to the fact that I felt my head is being squeezed at the moment. I then lift my head and look around. I'm pretty sure that I am not in my room right now. My head is still sore, and my body felt tired and weak. I closed my eyes and feel the pain in my head again as my thoughts are not yet clear, it was blurry, and in a haze. After a moment I begin to remember and progress what had happened. And of course, thanks to my hyperthymesia, I remembered everything.
I remembered that we went out to a bar and barhopped with Arah, Patrick and Jade, and Rhed. Also Rhed. I must have had a lot of drinks. I drank more than I usually do. And this was the time that I remembered where I am and who brings me here. Rhed was the one who took care of me. But the more I remember, the more the headache intensifies.
I was dying of shame when I recall that I puked in this room as well as in the bathroom. Moreover, the fact that it was Rhed who changed my clothes last night. And it really embarrassed me when I remembered the nonsense conversations that we had.
At that moment, I did not notice that Rhed was standing at the door looking at me with a gentle though still troubled expression. He approached and speaks to me. "What's up. How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Uh...Headache,"
"That's to be expected considering the amount of alcohol you had last night," he said, taking out a pill and a glass of water.
"Here, take this. It'll help with the headache," he said as he handed it to me, "And come to the kitchen after, there's breakfast."
"Thanks," I said then as I takes the glass and ingests the pill. "Can I use the bathroom first?" I asked while I awkwardly covered his crotch my thing was rock hard and a sign that I badly needed to pee.
He just nods while teasingly looking up and down. "You don't have to cover it. I saw it last night. I changed your clothes, remember?"
"No, you didn't!" I said as I felt my face was getting red hot.
"I did. So don't worry about it," he replied calmly, "You finish up. I'll be in the kitchen waiting."
After I relieved myself I comes out of the bathroom and went straight to the kitchen, still trying to remember if Rhed really did see it. There I saw Rhed arranging the table and transferring the contents of a paper container from the store with the name Briner's.
"I thought you're preparing the breakfast?" I asked.
"Isn't it preparing the breakfast?" he answered sarcastically.
"Food delivery isn't preparing a breakfast," I argued, I like it when he furrowed his brows and his deep voice becomes deeper because of annoyance.
"It is for me" then he looked at me whit that same expression that I expected. "You know what, you don't want it. I am not forcing you."
"Hey, don't be mad. I'm just messing up with you," I said defensively
"I'm not mad. It's just... This is me. All of you always misinterpret me. That's why I tried avoiding people," Rhed mutters under his breath, but I still heard it all. I can say that it was the longest sentence he had told me. And it was strange because it's about what he feels.
"Hey, I- I'm sorry. I'm just messing around, really," I suddenly felt bad. "And I also want to thank you for looking after me last night. I also want to say my apologies for the mess that I made"
"It's fine. Let's eat now," he retorted.
As we ate I really wanted to ask him some things. I wanted to know about Rhed's life and why he distanced himself from others in the past years. But I don't think it was the right time. I didn't notice that I was thinking deeply about it that I was staring at him.
"What?" Rhed asked.
"N-no... nothing," I replied awkwardly.
The medicine that I took seems to be working. My head is getting better except for the occasional throbbing that's making me groan.
After we ate, I looks for my phone to check how many messages my mom sent me this time.
"Hey, Rhed do you know where I put my phone?" I asked.
"I put it on the bedside table. You can go there. I'll just clean up here."
I proceeds back to the bedroom and saw that my phone was indeed there. And as he expected, tons of messages were coming from mom, but I was used to it. She was just asking where I am.
Later on, Rhed entered the room.
"How's your head?" he asked.
"Much better after I took the medicine. Thanks," I answered and as I continued scrolling through the message.
"By the way, I have something to give you," he said, going into a seemingly old box. "I believe this is yours." he handed him a familiar coloring book. I immediately recognized it when I saw the dusty and old cover. It was the same coloring book that I was talking about back when we were in the lake.
"You have it?" I asked, standing up and excitedly grabbing the coloring book feeling the same excitement when my mom first gave it to me.
"Yeah. I remembered that after I throw it, I get it again and decided to keep it because I also want to color it, but it was drenched in water, so I keep and forget it until that afternoon when you told me that story," he explained.
"I didn't know you're quite sentimental," I said, trying to tease Rhed again, but he just ignored me and diverted the topic.
"Don't you have your classes today?"
"No, I don't have,"
"But I do," he said, glancing at the wall clock. "And if you're still here, I can't go to my class that will start in thirty minutes."
"So, you're telling me to leave?"
"No, I'm just saying if you still stay here, I can't go to my class on time. And I don't want to be late," he said.
"The same thing," I plainly respond.
"You know what, let's just go back to the club to get your car so you can go home and I can go to my class,"
"I think that's a good idea," I agreed. I grabbed my things and hop in his car.
"Hey, I just wanted to thank you again," I told him before heading out of his car.
"It's fine, don't worry about it. Just next time you go out drinking, make sure you don't pass out," he said plainly but almost annoyed.
"Next time, it's you who will pass out," I said then waved as Rhed left. Standing still, I watched the car getting far away from me. I looked up to the sky, noticing the clouds were getting thicker. I started to walk towards my car and drive home.
#
- Rhed Vasquez -
I don't know, but it seemed to be that I and Clue were getting closer. It wasn't my choice though he always meet me and always followed me whenever he have a chance. He even invites me whenever his gang would hang out. But the funny thing is I always showed up. And he always made sure that I wasn't getting out of place.
We were sitting under the shade of the acacia tree in the university field. The midterm exams have just finished and we are taking this moment to relax a bit.
"So how's your midterm?" he asked me.
"Well, I think I did good," I said, "how about you?"
"I did well too, you know, I remembered all the definitions and the discussions but sometimes they messed up resulting in me getting confused. But I think I still did well."
"You know what? Your hypeformesia..."
"Hyperthymesia" he corrected.
"Yeah, that's what I said. That condition of yours is a cheat code. I think it's unfair that you remember everything that happened in your life without even trying"
"Yeah, that's what all of you think," he said, with a trace of melancholy in his voice. "But when you have it, you'll wish that you don't. I mean, the part where I can remember all the discussions, the definitions, and all other stuff is cool but when it comes to remembering all the harsh words and things that are ever said to you, the betrayals and those promises that are broken. That's when you wish you should have forgotten them."
"Fair point, I guess," I replied. Knowing that I'm not in the right place to judge.
"Well enough of that already, don't you forget, on our house 8:00 tonight" he reminded me again.
For the past week, he was begging me to go to his house and join him stargazing, I wasn't feeling it so I always say that I'm busy with the midterms. But now that the exams are done, I don't have any more excuses.
"Yes. Fine, I'll go" I sighed. I can see the delight on his face when I finally agreed.
"Okay, I'll fetch you later just to make sure."
Now I can't take it back.
This time Clue laid down on my lap and closes his eyes. And I wasn't surprised anymore. For the short time that we have been friends, I witnessed how clingy Clue is to his friends that's why I let him.
But even if that's the case, I still felt it strange, the fluttering in my stomach seem to intensify again. It was weird because I felt it only when I am with Clue. It was weird but I likes it. I like it but I don't know how to express it. Unattended, I put my hand over Clues' and stared at him as a streak of sunlight is falling into his face while the wind gently blows.
"What?" he asked, eyes still closed.
"Nothing," I quickly replied and looking on other direction.
"Mhm, hm?"
"You're making my legs numb"
"I don't care. It's my pillow now"
#
It was almost a quarter past eight in the evening when Clue arrived.
"I'm sorry, the traffic is terrible" he explained rolling down his window.
"Don't explain, you're always late."
"Whatever. Just hop in," he retorted
We went back to their house. Or should I say, on their mansion. It was my first time going in there and it was a bit far from where I live. It was dark and I can't completely see their house but I was certain that t was very huge, judged based on their garage with a lot of luxury cars.
"These are all yours?" I asked the moment we got out of the car.
"No, they are my dad's car collection," he said. "Let's go I'll show you my room. "
We entered the house and the first thing that I noticed is the grand chandelier in the foyer in the middle of two grand staircases leading to the second floor. I also noticed the paintings hanging on the wall, but the huge family portrait caught my attention most. I recognized Clue then the others must be his parents and I guess his little brother.
"You didn't tell me you have a brother," I said as we walk on the stairs towards Clue's room.
"I haven't?" he replied. "Yeah, I have a little brother, Archy. He was in Canada with my dad and now my mom visited him so I have the house all by myself. C'mon this is my room."
We went inside the room at the end of the hallway with a "do not enter sign."
"Wait for me here I'll just get the tent and the telescope," he told me. I just nod and observes the room. It was quite tidy for a boy's room. Or maybe they had the maids clean here once in a while, I supposed to myself. I also saw that the room was spacious, there was a huge bed a computer set, and a bookshelf. Out of curiosity, I walk toward the shelf and find that all of the books there have something to do with the stars. As I slowly walk in front of the shelf I stumble a book lying on the floor. I decided to pick it up and saw that the cover was again with star patterns on it. I flipped the pages and saw Clue's handwriting.
My Star Bucket list the title says.
Then a series of itemized words are listed but I can see most of them are already crossed out.
Stargazing in a mountain, Stargazing on a beach, Stargazing with my love, Witness a supernova are the items left uncrossed.
I didn't want to be nosy but I got my phone and took a picture of the list then I went back in checking the books.
"You want to read something?" He asked, holding a telescope and a bag which I supposed is a tent.
"No, I'm just surprised that you have a lot of books. I don't know you could read," I said helping him with the bag he was carrying.
"Funny," he said. "Common let's go now"
We went outside to the garden. Where I thought we would camp so I stopped there. But he was heading towards the forest.
"Hey, where are you going? Aren't we going to camp here?" I asked.
"No, there's a much better place. I've never shown this to anyone" I tried to keep up with Clue because I wasn't really comfortable being in the forest.
Not long after we are in a clearing beside the cliff. There I can see the town. The lights moving on the highway and the lights from the houses afar.
"Not bad," I said trying to contain the amazement I felt. "How did you find it?"
"Well, it's my secret sanctuary, I usually went here if I need a break from everything" He explained. "Help me set up this tent so we can start stargazing."
We hurried and grabbed the tent and set it up not far on the edge but enough for us to still see the view. I began arranging our things inside While Clue was setting up the telescope.
"Isn't it beautiful? This is why I like it here, I always feel that there's an aura of calmness here" Clue said after he finished.
I just nod, sign that I agreed. "So what do you want to tell me?" I asked.
"What? Who told you I want to tell you something?" he asked, confused.
"No one. I just knew it," I said. "Out of nowhere you suddenly want to camp here and you said that this is your favorite secret place but you brought me here. So I know something is bothering you and you just wanted distraction"
He looked away and whispers, "I don't know how to say it."
"Start by telling me why you don't want to go? You tell me that the night when you got drunk"
"It's my parents. They want me to go to Canada after I graduated," he started explaining.
"And what's wrong with that?" I asked.
"I don't want to go there and work in my dad's company, you know all my life I've been favored just because of my parents and it makes me lose my self-esteem. I always doubt if I am really good or it's just because of my last name and it frustrates me," he then let out a deep sigh.
"Well I don't know you're this rich and I also don't know your parents, but I seem to know you. And I know you to be good and smart and resourceful," I said.
"You do?" He asked surprised looking at me.
"Yes," I say confidently. "What about you? What do you think of yourself?"
He stares at me for a second and lets out another sigh, "I don't really know," he said as he looked to the ground with shame obvious on his face.
"You know what? We are still young, and a lot can happen in the future," I said as I tap his shoulder trying to boost him up. "Let's just focus on the things that I'm sure you are good at. Let's look at the stars"
"I really think that's a very good idea" then both of us went to the telescope.
Clue was peeking through its hole first and then he called me.
"Hey, look at this,"
"Wow," it was my first time seeing the sky in a telescope and I am so amazed at what I am seeing. "These are beautiful. I can't believe that something like this can exist."
"I know," Clue agreed. "When I saw it for the first time I really can't stop thinking about it. And there I began to study them. The stars, how they are formed and how they've gone"
"And wanna share what you've found out?" I said, still peeking through the telescope.
"Well, one thing that I know is they are very far from us and most of the stars that we currently see as of now is actually dead" he explained.
"How is that possible?"
"Well just like most things, light also travels and because stars are so far away, it took some time for its light to finally gets here and most of the cases the stars are already dead or gone into supernova before the light even reach the earth," he tried explaining it as simple as possible but I got even more confused.
"Okay, too much. Enough lessons for today, Mr. Astronomer" I said, looking at Clue.
"I'll show you something" he peeked through. "Hey look at this."
I looked at the telescope and saw a very huge and bright star that seemed to be pulsating. "It's twinkling," I said.
"It is the Betelgeuse, it was expected to become a supernova soon and if that happens it said that we can see it here. With our naked eye. I hope I would be able to see a supernova" Clue said with utmost hope in his eyes.
"What is a supernova?" I asked.
"It's when a star had become really old, it can't contain all of its energy anymore and it explodes. It's explosion can be seen even here on earth and I hope I would be able to see it"
"Well, if you and I are still friends when that time comes, I am willing to wait for a supernova with you," I said, looking away from the telescope and facing Clue.
ns 15.158.61.8da2
