At that time, it took a lot of time for me to drink a bottle of milk, about four hours, so my mother was very tired. She thought I had trouble eating, so she always cut my food into small pieces for me to eat.
As I grew up and until now, I still eat slowly and need to take breaks every 20 minutes or so.
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During a check-up, it was discovered that I had severe myopia, which was due to poor eye development. At first, my left eye had only mild myopia of 100 degrees, while my right eye had severe myopia of 800 degrees. I tried eye patch therapy, but it was unsuccessful.
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I had a fairly ordinary time in primary school, but in secondary school, I wasn't interestedin studying, so I ended up spending a lot of time learning. I didn't have any specific goals or aspirations and spent a lot of time playing games and enjoying life. It wasn't until much later that I pursued further education and entered the workforce, but even then, I was hesitant to return to school.
During my time in school, I tried to minimize my presence and blend in with the crowd. Sometimes I would hang out with a few classmates, but they were the only connection I had to the outside world and people closer to society.
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I just wanted to stay at home, surrounded by books and toys. I felt that it was a gentler world, and books brought me an endless world. My parents' excessive care for me felt like being slowly strangled by thorns. Many times, I wanted to be alone and contemplate everything in the world.
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I gave the impression to others that I spoke very little, and I would like to explain the reason why. There is a kind of terror called "being good," meaning being an obedient child. "Being good is a good thing." From a young age, I was taught this concept, and for a while, I thought being good was a good thing, and being clever was the most important thing. "Parents don't like disobedient children."
To conform to my parents' demand for obedience, I really did become very obedient and rarely spoke up. They said they wanted to be good to me, so I remained quiet and obedient like a mute, hiding my feelings and only listening to the people around me. I never expressed my opinions, always said okay, and was afraid of causing trouble for others.
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In terms of education, my parents used protective methods and did not allow me to touch anything dangerous or take any risks. They didn't want me to draw on the walls at home, and if I wanted to play some exciting games like banana boats, roller coasters, bungee jumping, or piggyback jumping, my parents would warn me of the severe consequences, even to the point of risking my life. Eventually, I only rode on the Ferris wheel.
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