我向艾美謊稱被打劫。「傷勢不嚴重,損失金額不大。為免麻煩,算了吧,不需報案。」交代一番後,我匆匆梳洗、吃早餐,然後回學校工作,順道偷偷把魚鱗和琥珀暫時存放在有鎖抽屜裡。89Please respect copyright.PENANA2IP2EliibT
89Please respect copyright.PENANAZiIlnOrF6E
桌上有一份文件,關於一位今日到我班報到的「新」轉校生。我偷懶,沒有翻閱。89Please respect copyright.PENANAO5BLIXfAGy
89Please respect copyright.PENANA6yeqe93yE3
見怪不怪。89Please respect copyright.PENANAfKSO4Z8Cg4
89Please respect copyright.PENANAhGD3AapFsi
近年小鎮年輕人口銳減,多所學校接連倒閉或合併,最終全鎮只有四所小學暨托兒所和兩所中學。兩所中學關係密切,大部份教職員相互認識,甚至會共用部分學生資料。彼此彷如同一所學校,只存在地理位置之別:一所位於小鎮東部,另一所位於小鎮西部。89Please respect copyright.PENANA3Kf9VqRBZZ
89Please respect copyright.PENANAD3CNQZDgJA
正如天下間所有學校,當中總有問題學生存在。問題學生不當轉校是甚麼一回事——在東校惹麻煩了,就轉校到西校吧;不想待在西校,也就轉校到東校——所以老師們也不當他們是甚麼一回事。89Please respect copyright.PENANArEQyhXDdHP
89Please respect copyright.PENANAcZaw1Waheu
但今次我錯得離譜。89Please respect copyright.PENANA0cGi7mKXWE
89Please respect copyright.PENANAVdFqOwPWNo
我按照慣常做法,正式上課前先在教員室與新轉校生打個照面。對方準時出現。甫看見轉校生的面孔,我驚呆了!89Please respect copyright.PENANACQEKxRrnrr
89Please respect copyright.PENANAG9xooAgShh
「老師早晨!」她的身形、樣貌、神態、聲線與珍妮竟有九成相似!89Please respect copyright.PENANAWSODCjNswn
89Please respect copyright.PENANA5rcSQjegcg
「早……早晨。」我花上兩三秒,好不容易方能壓抑激動心情,正常對答。翻開文件,匆匆一覽:伊芙.羅倫斯,一個月前跟隨家人回流小鎮。她的母親名為米婭.鍾斯……89Please respect copyright.PENANAz74gUxRrd5
89Please respect copyright.PENANAmWiaYSRa56
放學鈴聲響起,學生紛紛離開課室,只有伊芙慢條斯理地收拾。89Please respect copyright.PENANAhJdVhJcbC3
89Please respect copyright.PENANAOZ5sPt7ptA
「你可以慢慢收拾,校工不會馬上來清潔——他習慣由頂樓開始打掃。」我告訴伊芙更多有關學校的不明文細節,例如訓導主任對學生髮型的規範、校長巡察校園的時間、學校泳池附近的貓兒窩……89Please respect copyright.PENANAO2BWHAeS0D
89Please respect copyright.PENANANoZNE26XTf
「謝謝提醒。」伊芙收拾書包後,特意上前湊近我的耳邊細語:「難怪母親說你是個可靠的求助對象。」89Please respect copyright.PENANAmqbwmNuBy9
89Please respect copyright.PENANApIUOJZVObi
果然——她是珍妮的姨甥女。89Please respect copyright.PENANA6nvnaxEB5O
89Please respect copyright.PENANA6GdTiVaEJF
沒待我回應,她一溜煙跑走了。
中學時期,我和珍妮彼此各有追求者,漸行漸遠,但她的名字仍然經常出現在我耳邊——她是很多男生的追求對象,他們都知道我和珍妮曾經關係密切。89Please respect copyright.PENANA3KX3NxwwLu
89Please respect copyright.PENANAtujzbZL0nh
「她是否仍是處女?」89Please respect copyright.PENANAIcK6wvl5k2
89Please respect copyright.PENANAviPmXZdhEU
「你睡過她了吧?」89Please respect copyright.PENANAuCShrGywsZ
89Please respect copyright.PENANA2rEeJhTswi
「她是不是很棒?」89Please respect copyright.PENANAjoXIwQ1BDM
89Please respect copyright.PENANAZpjulxhHoY
我一一否認,向他們解釋珍妮是個乖巧的女生,我和她自始至今僅是好朋友。他們邪笑,笑我太認真,然後繼續討論珍妮的臉蛋和身材。89Please respect copyright.PENANA6Cb3p7QFt8
89Please respect copyright.PENANARnn68XWRHF
我歎一口氣,煩惱該如何處理這問題。朋友圈子擴闊了,比較很多,是非很多。是否擁有漂亮臉蛋?是否擁有高䠷身材?所有人的身體不再只是身體,借代日益明確的自尊、續漸萌芽的性慾、帶有目的的情愛。大家是披著人皮的野獸(或許人類本來就是其中一種野獸吧),從身體特徵篩選適合傳宗接代的伴侶。89Please respect copyright.PENANAJJQZpcP55m
89Please respect copyright.PENANA1Af990FWux
夜裡,我無法入眠,一再憶起那些噁心的男生。不過我實在沒資格指責他們:我對珍妮一直存有幻想,甚至比他們的言語更淫穢。我自小與珍妮長時間作伴,偶有不經意的親密接觸——例如五歲時一起湖邊裸跑、六歲的生日派對上當眾接吻——童心無忌的親密保持至十一歲。89Please respect copyright.PENANAog3GH0oyIa
89Please respect copyright.PENANA6ZrDb7xLCO
某天放學後,我們又在湖畔嬉鬧,期間珍妮失足落水。她深諳泳術,很快游上岸邊。上水一刻,平實的少女胸圍在透薄白色上衣下若隱若現。沒有誘人曲線,於我卻是震憾——我首次意識到彼此終究逃不過成長帶來的隔膜與淡漠。89Please respect copyright.PENANAb476UrpqHG
89Please respect copyright.PENANAt2fNpr2gBX
我借她運動服。她繞到我身後更換。回家路上,「震憾」一詞明顯蝕刻在我倆臉上,沒能消退,沒能掩飾。89Please respect copyright.PENANA8IJtpOrbwd
89Please respect copyright.PENANA42C4bgzPZo
之後,我每次穿著體育服,腦袋總想起珍妮。她的精緻臉蛋,她的嫩滑肌膚,她正在發育的胸脯……我感到羞恥,變得焦躁不安。我謊稱在學校遺失體育服,母親給我買新的。但我仍然不停想起珍妮。我恍然大悟——問題不在體育服。是我!是我本身想把珍妮當作幻想對象!無法抵賴,不再抵賴,夜夜對著她穿過的體育服盡情幻想吧!89Please respect copyright.PENANAL471tVk6KZ
89Please respect copyright.PENANANlih256QlU
珍妮同樣在落水那天開始生起變化,對我漸趨冷淡,見面次數銳減。89Please respect copyright.PENANANfww2rF631
89Please respect copyright.PENANAL1XtUhPIvl
我們從此成為普通朋友。
心煩。踱步至湖邊。不知何解,我想再次見見人魚。從公事包掏出魚鱗和琥珀,高舉月下,對湖輕喚:「小姐,請問你還需要這些東西嗎?」89Please respect copyright.PENANAOAxXtbiWGz
89Please respect copyright.PENANAX1kPrc6X9O
噗——出乎意料,對方聞言立即從水中冒出半個頭,往我游來。89Please respect copyright.PENANADA7VgkXkbs
89Please respect copyright.PENANAluVlh5KvFG
我把魚鱗和琥珀置於岸邊、一個她在水裡伸手可及的位置,然後後退十多步,以免嚇怕她。她拿起魚鱗和琥珀望了望,再轉頭望望我,發出一聲微妙的長音:「呦——」89Please respect copyright.PENANAcnxq49Pz5s
89Please respect copyright.PENANA7k48wNw1xI
「別客氣。」我估計她正在道謝。89Please respect copyright.PENANAIJ2Q7ww74x
89Please respect copyright.PENANADM4hTx2mRq
「呦。呦呦。」她改用輕快的短音。89Please respect copyright.PENANAxpjzOLBgbr
89Please respect copyright.PENANAKTCFSdnZNd
「那個……我聽不明白。」89Please respect copyright.PENANApkdclnnE2i
89Please respect copyright.PENANArjorbrqyCW
「呦。呦呦。」89Please respect copyright.PENANAv5OIhyDrkO
89Please respect copyright.PENANAYDbMmV0bPw
「那麼……拜拜。」89Please respect copyright.PENANAWuOROakxlL
89Please respect copyright.PENANAhDMfG5flLj
我意識到勢色不對,轉身急步離開。但她的動作更快,瞬間出水登岸,伸手緊抓我的公事包。我有點兒心慌,不過見她沒有進一步動作,於是打開公事包,向她展示內裡物件。89Please respect copyright.PENANAlobRXAMirn
89Please respect copyright.PENANAIRbaWsAyHj
「書本。原子筆。膠袋。餅乾……」89Please respect copyright.PENANAwGpOncETQg
89Please respect copyright.PENANArgjyD9TA9D
「呦。呦呦。」89Please respect copyright.PENANAXG5lk7s6b8
89Please respect copyright.PENANA1qvA2q9Z6w
「餅乾?你想要餅乾?」89Please respect copyright.PENANAFNyniQ07jP
89Please respect copyright.PENANAZPjWc2ekVM
「呦。呦呦。」89Please respect copyright.PENANAHBebtR3P0i
89Please respect copyright.PENANAMcf4GOHTrb
我乍驚乍喜,撕開包裝袋,給她一塊餅乾。她吃得津津有味,向我索要更多。89Please respect copyright.PENANAtToMa8Oy8z
89Please respect copyright.PENANAuChlHE7irG
「餅乾。這是餅乾。」89Please respect copyright.PENANAoZTzH0CvET
89Please respect copyright.PENANAFn2F993yQ0
「餅——乾——」89Please respect copyright.PENANAbi4dO2k6O2
89Please respect copyright.PENANAqlhYJ9sORw
我給她五塊餅乾作獎勵:「五塊餅乾。」89Please respect copyright.PENANAh2wWqMiCkZ
89Please respect copyright.PENANAvGDk7NK6Dm
她迅速吃掉五塊餅乾,翻身跳入湖中,離開。89Please respect copyright.PENANAD9iiqJFQyx
89Please respect copyright.PENANAWVUkzIQDql
我順著水波流向目送她遠去,為她的聰明暗暗驚嘆,亦好奇她為何知道公事包裡有餅乾。
夜,九時。家。大部分廳燈沒有亮起,只有座地燈正在燈罩下努力發熱發亮。米白燈罩因為歲月而泛黃,部分褪色的刺繡花卉圖案不知何時被何物挑斷了線,線頭忘我地、張揚地仰起頭,格外礙眼。89Please respect copyright.PENANAbU4giM547d
89Please respect copyright.PENANA5DtIcDNSxP
我曾把它搬到垃圾站,誰料同日下午艾美把它搬回來,說它運作正常,可以繼續用。89Please respect copyright.PENANAgluKYhSsEY
89Please respect copyright.PENANALju8qNCt4s
「你喜歡就好。」我從艾美手中接過地燈,稍加清潔,放回原處。艾美是個單純的人,沒能看出我心意,不知道我十分討厭殘破老舊的東西。89Please respect copyright.PENANAnBGuuRbtlB
89Please respect copyright.PENANAnrbdhtnY0Y
看!那座地燈仍然佇立於廳中一隅。看!那餐椅的漆料補完又補,突兀地置身其他餐椅之間。看!艾美正在修補破爛。她每夜在修補家中破爛。她彷彿破爛的其中一員!89Please respect copyright.PENANAmEU5mo1CwN
89Please respect copyright.PENANAfzA9UuoeJg
「咦?法蘭克,原來你回來了!我沒發現呢!哈!」艾美倏忽抬頭,傻笑。89Please respect copyright.PENANAFYOEeKaR8T
89Please respect copyright.PENANAp2BPS9QsCw
「親愛的,別太操勞。」我敷衍幾句,逕自洗澡去。89Please respect copyright.PENANAsdOK5Qc4Km
89Please respect copyright.PENANAZrBbhnlh80
浴缸裡,水中。我憶起初遇人魚那夜。月色,涼風,波浪。淡金長髮,雪白玉臂,清澄藍眼。滑嫩巧手,豐軟胸脯,纖幼腰肢……我放任自己繼續幻想下去。這是不應該的,但我需要。89Please respect copyright.PENANAxUhoHsuDgd
89Please respect copyright.PENANANdqYwfPhGG
色慾旺盛,無需外界刺激,內在淫穢幻想足以驅動一切。浴缸裡的水,口腔裡的水,身體裡的水。靜止,流動,洶湧。89Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7P2yYNK2g
89Please respect copyright.PENANAEPLecB0HZ6
高潮,為了不在我面前的人魚。