我向艾美謊稱被打劫。「傷勢不嚴重,損失金額不大。為免麻煩,算了吧,不需報案。」交代一番後,我匆匆梳洗、吃早餐,然後回學校工作,順道偷偷把魚鱗和琥珀暫時存放在有鎖抽屜裡。93Please respect copyright.PENANA1n8ipPvMN1
93Please respect copyright.PENANAn2KiAABkuS
桌上有一份文件,關於一位今日到我班報到的「新」轉校生。我偷懶,沒有翻閱。93Please respect copyright.PENANAsShIclZZpu
93Please respect copyright.PENANAvkSsgO4g4K
見怪不怪。93Please respect copyright.PENANA1nUCMivqga
93Please respect copyright.PENANAwy0FhRiTxd
近年小鎮年輕人口銳減,多所學校接連倒閉或合併,最終全鎮只有四所小學暨托兒所和兩所中學。兩所中學關係密切,大部份教職員相互認識,甚至會共用部分學生資料。彼此彷如同一所學校,只存在地理位置之別:一所位於小鎮東部,另一所位於小鎮西部。93Please respect copyright.PENANA8paRvEUQUG
93Please respect copyright.PENANAeuP7WZA4wb
正如天下間所有學校,當中總有問題學生存在。問題學生不當轉校是甚麼一回事——在東校惹麻煩了,就轉校到西校吧;不想待在西校,也就轉校到東校——所以老師們也不當他們是甚麼一回事。93Please respect copyright.PENANAr94h2pFh44
93Please respect copyright.PENANAqAEcBc4OnK
但今次我錯得離譜。93Please respect copyright.PENANAEmRwYtnRW1
93Please respect copyright.PENANAKuZ1GKJuUI
我按照慣常做法,正式上課前先在教員室與新轉校生打個照面。對方準時出現。甫看見轉校生的面孔,我驚呆了!93Please respect copyright.PENANAHmBWtw3BHy
93Please respect copyright.PENANAQFaUvm0bsi
「老師早晨!」她的身形、樣貌、神態、聲線與珍妮竟有九成相似!93Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3ovOUJl5z
93Please respect copyright.PENANAgLGNODHCHn
「早……早晨。」我花上兩三秒,好不容易方能壓抑激動心情,正常對答。翻開文件,匆匆一覽:伊芙.羅倫斯,一個月前跟隨家人回流小鎮。她的母親名為米婭.鍾斯……93Please respect copyright.PENANAguRCyecDiC
93Please respect copyright.PENANACJizLsabin
放學鈴聲響起,學生紛紛離開課室,只有伊芙慢條斯理地收拾。93Please respect copyright.PENANAZp1fQvUs8M
93Please respect copyright.PENANA2uH2WRhNgo
「你可以慢慢收拾,校工不會馬上來清潔——他習慣由頂樓開始打掃。」我告訴伊芙更多有關學校的不明文細節,例如訓導主任對學生髮型的規範、校長巡察校園的時間、學校泳池附近的貓兒窩……93Please respect copyright.PENANAKlKX3jSJIF
93Please respect copyright.PENANAyAAYHlu6wE
「謝謝提醒。」伊芙收拾書包後,特意上前湊近我的耳邊細語:「難怪母親說你是個可靠的求助對象。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAwTBerLUIzo
93Please respect copyright.PENANA6Bgy0nhXcj
果然——她是珍妮的姨甥女。93Please respect copyright.PENANAZf4gJ9C6fv
93Please respect copyright.PENANA0RmDEtowvu
沒待我回應,她一溜煙跑走了。
中學時期,我和珍妮彼此各有追求者,漸行漸遠,但她的名字仍然經常出現在我耳邊——她是很多男生的追求對象,他們都知道我和珍妮曾經關係密切。93Please respect copyright.PENANAGJcwtjDHl6
93Please respect copyright.PENANAjGHup50wqB
「她是否仍是處女?」93Please respect copyright.PENANAaT0Kkb987o
93Please respect copyright.PENANAIxHt4nMFkh
「你睡過她了吧?」93Please respect copyright.PENANArRUHTagWSp
93Please respect copyright.PENANAK2Vyb08S1s
「她是不是很棒?」93Please respect copyright.PENANATLpv86Um2v
93Please respect copyright.PENANAnQzYH5M4P9
我一一否認,向他們解釋珍妮是個乖巧的女生,我和她自始至今僅是好朋友。他們邪笑,笑我太認真,然後繼續討論珍妮的臉蛋和身材。93Please respect copyright.PENANAM3Iukph6J2
93Please respect copyright.PENANAeBiLgXaW78
我歎一口氣,煩惱該如何處理這問題。朋友圈子擴闊了,比較很多,是非很多。是否擁有漂亮臉蛋?是否擁有高䠷身材?所有人的身體不再只是身體,借代日益明確的自尊、續漸萌芽的性慾、帶有目的的情愛。大家是披著人皮的野獸(或許人類本來就是其中一種野獸吧),從身體特徵篩選適合傳宗接代的伴侶。93Please respect copyright.PENANAWcc3M7OVMp
93Please respect copyright.PENANAW1LkondxHH
夜裡,我無法入眠,一再憶起那些噁心的男生。不過我實在沒資格指責他們:我對珍妮一直存有幻想,甚至比他們的言語更淫穢。我自小與珍妮長時間作伴,偶有不經意的親密接觸——例如五歲時一起湖邊裸跑、六歲的生日派對上當眾接吻——童心無忌的親密保持至十一歲。93Please respect copyright.PENANALmZusP4aDc
93Please respect copyright.PENANALpvOZXeyJS
某天放學後,我們又在湖畔嬉鬧,期間珍妮失足落水。她深諳泳術,很快游上岸邊。上水一刻,平實的少女胸圍在透薄白色上衣下若隱若現。沒有誘人曲線,於我卻是震憾——我首次意識到彼此終究逃不過成長帶來的隔膜與淡漠。93Please respect copyright.PENANAxyG7Eu2kCz
93Please respect copyright.PENANA25FQeJhlKH
我借她運動服。她繞到我身後更換。回家路上,「震憾」一詞明顯蝕刻在我倆臉上,沒能消退,沒能掩飾。93Please respect copyright.PENANAPCfyW902XK
93Please respect copyright.PENANAKNdET7abKl
之後,我每次穿著體育服,腦袋總想起珍妮。她的精緻臉蛋,她的嫩滑肌膚,她正在發育的胸脯……我感到羞恥,變得焦躁不安。我謊稱在學校遺失體育服,母親給我買新的。但我仍然不停想起珍妮。我恍然大悟——問題不在體育服。是我!是我本身想把珍妮當作幻想對象!無法抵賴,不再抵賴,夜夜對著她穿過的體育服盡情幻想吧!93Please respect copyright.PENANAZBcURT2Cts
93Please respect copyright.PENANAZPWkPm2xui
珍妮同樣在落水那天開始生起變化,對我漸趨冷淡,見面次數銳減。93Please respect copyright.PENANAzVdwMXx55v
93Please respect copyright.PENANALz4uhiJD2d
我們從此成為普通朋友。
心煩。踱步至湖邊。不知何解,我想再次見見人魚。從公事包掏出魚鱗和琥珀,高舉月下,對湖輕喚:「小姐,請問你還需要這些東西嗎?」93Please respect copyright.PENANAT618PDXFJK
93Please respect copyright.PENANAhtGkUCRPKH
噗——出乎意料,對方聞言立即從水中冒出半個頭,往我游來。93Please respect copyright.PENANAYrJjuB0zuD
93Please respect copyright.PENANAiq6A00GW9v
我把魚鱗和琥珀置於岸邊、一個她在水裡伸手可及的位置,然後後退十多步,以免嚇怕她。她拿起魚鱗和琥珀望了望,再轉頭望望我,發出一聲微妙的長音:「呦——」93Please respect copyright.PENANAfA18xJzzCK
93Please respect copyright.PENANAgtapsvOwT2
「別客氣。」我估計她正在道謝。93Please respect copyright.PENANAxIOBZwag9q
93Please respect copyright.PENANAyxx04h9W2b
「呦。呦呦。」她改用輕快的短音。93Please respect copyright.PENANAbfHADLVKoj
93Please respect copyright.PENANAA41npF0J9D
「那個……我聽不明白。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAp3XcLqO0kA
93Please respect copyright.PENANAI7m9ttwDy8
「呦。呦呦。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAfxJYTEXNeJ
93Please respect copyright.PENANA7MiMNuJSla
「那麼……拜拜。」93Please respect copyright.PENANA4T2KOjqbks
93Please respect copyright.PENANAHK9xNtCIBc
我意識到勢色不對,轉身急步離開。但她的動作更快,瞬間出水登岸,伸手緊抓我的公事包。我有點兒心慌,不過見她沒有進一步動作,於是打開公事包,向她展示內裡物件。93Please respect copyright.PENANAZFw6o9sXGN
93Please respect copyright.PENANAQUjIHmBHPE
「書本。原子筆。膠袋。餅乾……」93Please respect copyright.PENANAoalrsWXMry
93Please respect copyright.PENANAPIFnCvjny1
「呦。呦呦。」93Please respect copyright.PENANABGlHaCBHmK
93Please respect copyright.PENANAjZa8c5306H
「餅乾?你想要餅乾?」93Please respect copyright.PENANADmf2ILwVP4
93Please respect copyright.PENANAVMvO9Lp2tN
「呦。呦呦。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAHgkLQE05fp
93Please respect copyright.PENANAXlNvK0Xax7
我乍驚乍喜,撕開包裝袋,給她一塊餅乾。她吃得津津有味,向我索要更多。93Please respect copyright.PENANApM68LtXXqa
93Please respect copyright.PENANAWTpUQflfnh
「餅乾。這是餅乾。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAJXzsR8hSPL
93Please respect copyright.PENANA6era8gWb2K
「餅——乾——」93Please respect copyright.PENANAbTpZQpcnSN
93Please respect copyright.PENANAFsmuCKbAnU
我給她五塊餅乾作獎勵:「五塊餅乾。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAvf8TchE6ev
93Please respect copyright.PENANAmLIW37VTHU
她迅速吃掉五塊餅乾,翻身跳入湖中,離開。93Please respect copyright.PENANAYcM55DFbkT
93Please respect copyright.PENANAc32UwBkREG
我順著水波流向目送她遠去,為她的聰明暗暗驚嘆,亦好奇她為何知道公事包裡有餅乾。
夜,九時。家。大部分廳燈沒有亮起,只有座地燈正在燈罩下努力發熱發亮。米白燈罩因為歲月而泛黃,部分褪色的刺繡花卉圖案不知何時被何物挑斷了線,線頭忘我地、張揚地仰起頭,格外礙眼。93Please respect copyright.PENANAnc56V8vzg4
93Please respect copyright.PENANAtkGqcH9AcM
我曾把它搬到垃圾站,誰料同日下午艾美把它搬回來,說它運作正常,可以繼續用。93Please respect copyright.PENANAZiOhINixUZ
93Please respect copyright.PENANAXcIlrRBo2A
「你喜歡就好。」我從艾美手中接過地燈,稍加清潔,放回原處。艾美是個單純的人,沒能看出我心意,不知道我十分討厭殘破老舊的東西。93Please respect copyright.PENANAPehiJPkQ6n
93Please respect copyright.PENANAbK8Fa2mPe8
看!那座地燈仍然佇立於廳中一隅。看!那餐椅的漆料補完又補,突兀地置身其他餐椅之間。看!艾美正在修補破爛。她每夜在修補家中破爛。她彷彿破爛的其中一員!93Please respect copyright.PENANAkvAvXI6tBx
93Please respect copyright.PENANAz8xTkpaLKW
「咦?法蘭克,原來你回來了!我沒發現呢!哈!」艾美倏忽抬頭,傻笑。93Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2t8zdGuUg
93Please respect copyright.PENANA7D1o2n8Olw
「親愛的,別太操勞。」我敷衍幾句,逕自洗澡去。93Please respect copyright.PENANA46j0MZooKA
93Please respect copyright.PENANAAM96SCIJNA
浴缸裡,水中。我憶起初遇人魚那夜。月色,涼風,波浪。淡金長髮,雪白玉臂,清澄藍眼。滑嫩巧手,豐軟胸脯,纖幼腰肢……我放任自己繼續幻想下去。這是不應該的,但我需要。93Please respect copyright.PENANAVuk2t30O5i
93Please respect copyright.PENANATq1CU0YAVY
色慾旺盛,無需外界刺激,內在淫穢幻想足以驅動一切。浴缸裡的水,口腔裡的水,身體裡的水。靜止,流動,洶湧。93Please respect copyright.PENANAS5UbRqyuB6
93Please respect copyright.PENANAEHzhTUhutq
高潮,為了不在我面前的人魚。