我向艾美謊稱被打劫。「傷勢不嚴重,損失金額不大。為免麻煩,算了吧,不需報案。」交代一番後,我匆匆梳洗、吃早餐,然後回學校工作,順道偷偷把魚鱗和琥珀暫時存放在有鎖抽屜裡。66Please respect copyright.PENANAbXS7Kg36jo
66Please respect copyright.PENANAn9IbUpIC4L
桌上有一份文件,關於一位今日到我班報到的「新」轉校生。我偷懶,沒有翻閱。66Please respect copyright.PENANAdqPkBxc0Ze
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見怪不怪。66Please respect copyright.PENANA1rCfz9phZO
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近年小鎮年輕人口銳減,多所學校接連倒閉或合併,最終全鎮只有四所小學暨托兒所和兩所中學。兩所中學關係密切,大部份教職員相互認識,甚至會共用部分學生資料。彼此彷如同一所學校,只存在地理位置之別:一所位於小鎮東部,另一所位於小鎮西部。66Please respect copyright.PENANAWxdHr9YJoN
66Please respect copyright.PENANASIajPXMHs3
正如天下間所有學校,當中總有問題學生存在。問題學生不當轉校是甚麼一回事——在東校惹麻煩了,就轉校到西校吧;不想待在西校,也就轉校到東校——所以老師們也不當他們是甚麼一回事。66Please respect copyright.PENANAduVDLDVVdC
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但今次我錯得離譜。66Please respect copyright.PENANANbUQfFHVEc
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我按照慣常做法,正式上課前先在教員室與新轉校生打個照面。對方準時出現。甫看見轉校生的面孔,我驚呆了!66Please respect copyright.PENANA7WrbHs2hWx
66Please respect copyright.PENANAXGp2uMskP0
「老師早晨!」她的身形、樣貌、神態、聲線與珍妮竟有九成相似!66Please respect copyright.PENANAakbEwhb1SN
66Please respect copyright.PENANAJGiLKFLM0L
「早……早晨。」我花上兩三秒,好不容易方能壓抑激動心情,正常對答。翻開文件,匆匆一覽:伊芙.羅倫斯,一個月前跟隨家人回流小鎮。她的母親名為米婭.鍾斯……66Please respect copyright.PENANANSpiHAHSzS
66Please respect copyright.PENANAHqhu1MYlYf
放學鈴聲響起,學生紛紛離開課室,只有伊芙慢條斯理地收拾。66Please respect copyright.PENANANj3P3eKVIU
66Please respect copyright.PENANAFYyBy6sFCf
「你可以慢慢收拾,校工不會馬上來清潔——他習慣由頂樓開始打掃。」我告訴伊芙更多有關學校的不明文細節,例如訓導主任對學生髮型的規範、校長巡察校園的時間、學校泳池附近的貓兒窩……66Please respect copyright.PENANAW90bxtxnZs
66Please respect copyright.PENANA1y1LbbxOkJ
「謝謝提醒。」伊芙收拾書包後,特意上前湊近我的耳邊細語:「難怪母親說你是個可靠的求助對象。」66Please respect copyright.PENANACIg4BF4ciz
66Please respect copyright.PENANA4MbqNuiTbu
果然——她是珍妮的姨甥女。66Please respect copyright.PENANA2m78lwjtpb
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沒待我回應,她一溜煙跑走了。
中學時期,我和珍妮彼此各有追求者,漸行漸遠,但她的名字仍然經常出現在我耳邊——她是很多男生的追求對象,他們都知道我和珍妮曾經關係密切。66Please respect copyright.PENANAUZqE16vPX1
66Please respect copyright.PENANAgC9PqXSDgV
「她是否仍是處女?」66Please respect copyright.PENANAkfsNlLQ9BE
66Please respect copyright.PENANA8MTKoL0jdx
「你睡過她了吧?」66Please respect copyright.PENANATn2BR5ENeX
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「她是不是很棒?」66Please respect copyright.PENANA1KZcrvXULf
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我一一否認,向他們解釋珍妮是個乖巧的女生,我和她自始至今僅是好朋友。他們邪笑,笑我太認真,然後繼續討論珍妮的臉蛋和身材。66Please respect copyright.PENANAvQcjoUlkMe
66Please respect copyright.PENANAXvD4wVqhuI
我歎一口氣,煩惱該如何處理這問題。朋友圈子擴闊了,比較很多,是非很多。是否擁有漂亮臉蛋?是否擁有高䠷身材?所有人的身體不再只是身體,借代日益明確的自尊、續漸萌芽的性慾、帶有目的的情愛。大家是披著人皮的野獸(或許人類本來就是其中一種野獸吧),從身體特徵篩選適合傳宗接代的伴侶。66Please respect copyright.PENANA87go6VnjRN
66Please respect copyright.PENANAhJeACXFyWR
夜裡,我無法入眠,一再憶起那些噁心的男生。不過我實在沒資格指責他們:我對珍妮一直存有幻想,甚至比他們的言語更淫穢。我自小與珍妮長時間作伴,偶有不經意的親密接觸——例如五歲時一起湖邊裸跑、六歲的生日派對上當眾接吻——童心無忌的親密保持至十一歲。66Please respect copyright.PENANAHMqGdKAoPW
66Please respect copyright.PENANAsntXHxxGi3
某天放學後,我們又在湖畔嬉鬧,期間珍妮失足落水。她深諳泳術,很快游上岸邊。上水一刻,平實的少女胸圍在透薄白色上衣下若隱若現。沒有誘人曲線,於我卻是震憾——我首次意識到彼此終究逃不過成長帶來的隔膜與淡漠。66Please respect copyright.PENANAWD3aXPXJ2m
66Please respect copyright.PENANATaQYuaJjew
我借她運動服。她繞到我身後更換。回家路上,「震憾」一詞明顯蝕刻在我倆臉上,沒能消退,沒能掩飾。66Please respect copyright.PENANA10vCX7EpP7
66Please respect copyright.PENANA72pjGmoOk5
之後,我每次穿著體育服,腦袋總想起珍妮。她的精緻臉蛋,她的嫩滑肌膚,她正在發育的胸脯……我感到羞恥,變得焦躁不安。我謊稱在學校遺失體育服,母親給我買新的。但我仍然不停想起珍妮。我恍然大悟——問題不在體育服。是我!是我本身想把珍妮當作幻想對象!無法抵賴,不再抵賴,夜夜對著她穿過的體育服盡情幻想吧!66Please respect copyright.PENANAIciXTOdc8q
66Please respect copyright.PENANA0O8fjW3tNy
珍妮同樣在落水那天開始生起變化,對我漸趨冷淡,見面次數銳減。66Please respect copyright.PENANAZfV8CnfEgu
66Please respect copyright.PENANAXp2B4raXKs
我們從此成為普通朋友。
心煩。踱步至湖邊。不知何解,我想再次見見人魚。從公事包掏出魚鱗和琥珀,高舉月下,對湖輕喚:「小姐,請問你還需要這些東西嗎?」66Please respect copyright.PENANA7RxNCJhxBx
66Please respect copyright.PENANAPiGSwv5YYB
噗——出乎意料,對方聞言立即從水中冒出半個頭,往我游來。66Please respect copyright.PENANADKIMfceb7T
66Please respect copyright.PENANAkAZsmI6fba
我把魚鱗和琥珀置於岸邊、一個她在水裡伸手可及的位置,然後後退十多步,以免嚇怕她。她拿起魚鱗和琥珀望了望,再轉頭望望我,發出一聲微妙的長音:「呦——」66Please respect copyright.PENANAtHE8zr4emv
66Please respect copyright.PENANArTffTyYPMu
「別客氣。」我估計她正在道謝。66Please respect copyright.PENANA0EGcFV5z8Y
66Please respect copyright.PENANAZsdfX84W9Y
「呦。呦呦。」她改用輕快的短音。66Please respect copyright.PENANAqunVIH52lk
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「那個……我聽不明白。」66Please respect copyright.PENANA37VlqxhmIV
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「呦。呦呦。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAl2n5USzG6m
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「那麼……拜拜。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAIdxzGSviFj
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我意識到勢色不對,轉身急步離開。但她的動作更快,瞬間出水登岸,伸手緊抓我的公事包。我有點兒心慌,不過見她沒有進一步動作,於是打開公事包,向她展示內裡物件。66Please respect copyright.PENANArWFMdhQJQF
66Please respect copyright.PENANANeD6pzZ2Sy
「書本。原子筆。膠袋。餅乾……」66Please respect copyright.PENANAGqVDpMMTze
66Please respect copyright.PENANAmARZhdhciO
「呦。呦呦。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAYZkeh6EaLp
66Please respect copyright.PENANAUgehNeiIuJ
「餅乾?你想要餅乾?」66Please respect copyright.PENANAjNNn58ESHr
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「呦。呦呦。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAn2sh29F2Uj
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我乍驚乍喜,撕開包裝袋,給她一塊餅乾。她吃得津津有味,向我索要更多。66Please respect copyright.PENANA2FEJS6sZzV
66Please respect copyright.PENANAqir2nU9qqP
「餅乾。這是餅乾。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAOgmn4wlxVy
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「餅——乾——」66Please respect copyright.PENANAymTrJxevZm
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我給她五塊餅乾作獎勵:「五塊餅乾。」66Please respect copyright.PENANA4Asplbot6J
66Please respect copyright.PENANA16Ojgx8Lrp
她迅速吃掉五塊餅乾,翻身跳入湖中,離開。66Please respect copyright.PENANADaG5tRv67U
66Please respect copyright.PENANAY7XuKiBEqH
我順著水波流向目送她遠去,為她的聰明暗暗驚嘆,亦好奇她為何知道公事包裡有餅乾。
夜,九時。家。大部分廳燈沒有亮起,只有座地燈正在燈罩下努力發熱發亮。米白燈罩因為歲月而泛黃,部分褪色的刺繡花卉圖案不知何時被何物挑斷了線,線頭忘我地、張揚地仰起頭,格外礙眼。66Please respect copyright.PENANAfuvip7zUTp
66Please respect copyright.PENANAtuLrZOdjcN
我曾把它搬到垃圾站,誰料同日下午艾美把它搬回來,說它運作正常,可以繼續用。66Please respect copyright.PENANAnoAWUIg6MR
66Please respect copyright.PENANAyFlXxDurKV
「你喜歡就好。」我從艾美手中接過地燈,稍加清潔,放回原處。艾美是個單純的人,沒能看出我心意,不知道我十分討厭殘破老舊的東西。66Please respect copyright.PENANATQ5ATBlxGd
66Please respect copyright.PENANAJpaznNsFLA
看!那座地燈仍然佇立於廳中一隅。看!那餐椅的漆料補完又補,突兀地置身其他餐椅之間。看!艾美正在修補破爛。她每夜在修補家中破爛。她彷彿破爛的其中一員!66Please respect copyright.PENANAg2foxiVnva
66Please respect copyright.PENANAsuU9d98Il1
「咦?法蘭克,原來你回來了!我沒發現呢!哈!」艾美倏忽抬頭,傻笑。66Please respect copyright.PENANAYV8CBkawl7
66Please respect copyright.PENANA4JyQVG3rTu
「親愛的,別太操勞。」我敷衍幾句,逕自洗澡去。66Please respect copyright.PENANA0P14M87F8I
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浴缸裡,水中。我憶起初遇人魚那夜。月色,涼風,波浪。淡金長髮,雪白玉臂,清澄藍眼。滑嫩巧手,豐軟胸脯,纖幼腰肢……我放任自己繼續幻想下去。這是不應該的,但我需要。66Please respect copyright.PENANAxhL0xysGW4
66Please respect copyright.PENANAyQ2JNwc6qu
色慾旺盛,無需外界刺激,內在淫穢幻想足以驅動一切。浴缸裡的水,口腔裡的水,身體裡的水。靜止,流動,洶湧。66Please respect copyright.PENANAuE6ncV1254
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高潮,為了不在我面前的人魚。