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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADOrpEgBtD
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「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6A2yPdqZgt
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfysVgqAqj
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoYLsmfiNz
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCy3FkDpL0
「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRk0ptBl8l
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97ZnRsENyo
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhz6Arw79PI
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQrWPqCCit
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jrkhxSPHi
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9V4QufmRZQ
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRd1GIEPV3c
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYR8q3dkLW
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgbEroqCyM
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjRv6vftDh
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOBghrhAOn
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2P5kOsNVxJ
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0vqi7tzBL
失業、失戀。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4D4QMKbPFi
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMvXAbx8wR
不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRZarHem3l
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5P7UJr9hD2
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5X5dkLUzZh
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RLxgfqDKY
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQVRYbsTn9
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DaPdUEnWO
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFot2VhpYva
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fKFufqvjV
====================================================131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5CMFO0M7B
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcJ3ThyBCl
「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUtUkTDLY7
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgDKdJwbi4
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHu70bGarF8
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaj8wNxyn7
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCbGtHYkfW
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHgH2RuEvt
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DVHCgQV84
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaHBZ7cZwS
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEiDuybfbm
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZAHhSVuCN
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1hEZGw9nx
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwImZ8h7jsX
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWwUw2MXuw
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmURXK6pW4C
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AL0SIMOV6
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbQO6DA6V1
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFsczIV5N9
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYHsRS7BXN
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtp2nDwUaUM
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9A4HHgmJS
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIJRM7xYRx
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BHqD6Sjlm
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyeYtrqn7j
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdOwi18urY
「咁我加入囉。」我說。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgxojqXqJT
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXfHyfhy9I
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwDzI8tKRd
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQitM605AN0
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QH6H3erb4
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmczfq4VWd
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhqm1PBodT
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfb399FADRO
「開始得未呀？」我問。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqQZhiwi4k
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkhvqe5JO2
女人點頭。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuvdWj9Iso
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH255eNUBZO
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVrS6Lb7xg
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejQWn373xs
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC7oh8d9FD
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3IWn9sVxa
「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydABOZywxm
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMJEOAnzZv
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreTDULmkON
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAg88hsaUMA
「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9Z005pdKU
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniOr8iednX
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xO8ot6h87
131Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4Mky61gV1
