Helping others had saved me.
The fragments of myself I had tied around the man were what remained of my body. The man had sacrificed himself to make sure I died along with the Xenophage; being sprayed with acid from the showers and also succumbing to the gouges along his side.
I wasn't there to help keep him alive. I was only here to find Eddie.
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Eddie was gone when I found myself back where I had died. Swarming the dead body, I looked around for another suitable host in the compound.
It was nothing but dirt. Not a single blade of grass grew. There were no birds, or even little creatures scurrying along.
But, I sensed movement.
Several cockroaches picked their way around the edge of the console, signalling that fresh food was nearby, around the dark voids of blood that would drown them.
It would have to do.
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Merging into a roach, it's body accepted me almost immediately as it scurried away, glinting black.
Still trying to take control, I bobbed in the back of its brain as it wedged itself into a hole in the console and hurtled down along the wiring.
This thing had evolved to withstand the poisons humans made to kill it. It could adapt and overcome anything. It was small and mighty.
I let it carry on. It's antennae picked up the slightest vibrations to send through its body.
It could determine how large the object was that caused it and if it should flee.
It could taste the scents of food and other roaches. They left their own trail, telling each other where to go.
This roach wanted to continue along the wires to another hole further out. The signals were leading it to where it was drier and more unforgiving. Others were already reporting an object there that didn't contain food.
Food was life. Survival and repopulation were all roaches were driven for. To do both, they needed to sustain their little bodies on whatever they could find.
This creature could withstand the barren wasteland inside and beyond the compound. Unlike others I had merged with, it didn't rely on water. Death wasn't the end for it. It knew it could continue onwards after even losing its head until starvation took it.
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Scurrying out onto the dirt, I felt for any movement that might put my life at risk.
The ground was quiet. The air was thick with heat. Feeling it burn down my back only reminded me of the acid that had killed me.
A glass vial was broken here. I felt the roaches body flare up when crackling electricity inside of it reached out towards us.
They were the same vials we were being held captive in before being transported to those containment units. Able to sense each other nearby, but unable to escape the force fields to take one of the many hosts that worked around us.
This one was one of my siblings. They had taken a host and escaped.
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I had to escape this horrid place too.
The Xenophage were dead. Now, my only focus was to find Eddie and make things right again.
He had been my host for a year. In that time, I grew to know how he felt. His emotions were mine. We worked as one. He listened to my needs and made sure I wasn't reduced to starvation like the many times before in the early stages of our relationship.
His body didn't reject me. We kept each other safe.
I missed him already. Being glued to a roach wasn't the same as having the comfort of a human body to hide within.
They were much more emotional, but this roach was similar to a human. They both put survival first. Anything could be a threat to their life.
They both thought about their lineage and seeing it grow further.
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I felt how forlorn Eddie had been when we were in the car with that odd family.
He jeered and joked as we all sang along to 'Space Oddity.' He even turned his attention out the window to the same landscape of dried husks of trees and tumbleweeds.
I felt how sad he was at seeing how happy the family was together. When the mother lovingly gazed at her daughter, Eddie sank deeper into self-pity.
He wanted what they had, despite the ignorance. He had a wife before they fell out of love. As much as I had pushed, it wasn't going to change. They were supposed to have a family, maybe even with questionable nature names like the singing ones had.
He would be a good dad. It was no lie when I said I wished we were like that family. We could be happy and not running for our lives constantly. We could sing songs like that together.
Maybe we'd get an animal again? I was still sour Eddie got rid of Sonny and Cher behind my back.
They were like family to me. I loved those chickens like they were children. Although, they would be tasty children, I wasn't going to eat such precious creatures.
We shared a warm bed some nights, before Eddie woke and swatted them away. They perched on the chairs when I made breakfast, and even took a liking to my tyre I had mangled in fits of rage when ravenous hunger ripped through me.
I hated they were gone. I knew they probably wouldn't survive the grimy streets of the city without my protection.
I loved them, but I loved Eddie more. He let me eat all the chickens I wanted; human heads too.
As long as they belonged to bad bodies. His morals were funny, seeing as he saw no problem with me murdering them viciously while he was safe inside my body.
I got to release pent-up tension and fill our stomach. He didn't die. Win-win.
I missed him.
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Scurrying onwards, the roach guided us to the boundary fencing linked together. It easily fit through the massive gaps, dodging the sharp edges of a cut portion still slightly poking up from the dirt.
The dirt was the same here, but it wasn't contained to that testing area.
Climbing and dipping down the uneven ground, I moved the roach onwards. Without having a clear view of the area from this body, I had to trust that going straight was leading us the right way.
I had to borrow time to grow again. With only this one fragment remaining, I wasn't going to leave the small host yet. I'd keep running it onwards until it couldn't anymore. By then, I should have enough mass to have enough energy to seek something else and carry on the journey back home.
It was going to take time. I hated feeling so....useless.
The roach was agitated with it too. It was going against instinct to leave food and shelter, driving itself against its will into the burning desert where nothing survived.
Flicking open its back, black wings were released that it held outwards.
We had wings?!
The ground suddenly rolled beneath us as the roach threw itself forward. Speeding along the oceans of dirt, i felt excitement mounting now that we were getting further.
"Whoo hoo! We are flying!"
The dirt loomed and hit its body. A few meters from our starting position, it landed and kept crawling along as it regained strength.
"Oh."
To think it would be that easy....
This was going to be a very long journey indeed.
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