A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6lLWwEbQh
-:-769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0slf29SJdr
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mmLt3Tr50
CHARACTERS769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qAGQexPKi
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOABljh1FC
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzx17FgOSC
--769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfEsaYkmP7
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSOuv0T0X2
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfbhk91u4Y
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1G3mTDB47D
We don’t have much time.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wZ1eCuwyp
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pl8mFMbZ7
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfywvGBK7M
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LYO2O12ub
CECIL769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwICPArPyh
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kMdsqTed2
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfA7NZPScl1
I understand you’re upset - 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyikB1IW1y
CECIL769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvUnwjcRVZ
I damn well am! 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhRftF0HqV
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MDtweAqgF
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzn81bA3tD
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAeQG2YIg5
CECIL769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDK6D1PfBg
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI27poXSrqg
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqbo18pekT
(slowly)769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsldwtva8tP
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmQD0ImAaD
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZm9M0qm8A
CECIL769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYTY13bODz
What?769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffRvZdUL3Z
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIrEdsZNnK
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzVkhuN3EC
CECIL769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03aNr5vsys
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKntPRba5KD
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzxkKKO7G8
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKd89Xdfxm
CECIL769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gBarcMsTy
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezYUA6bkEr
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeocXbHIJPX
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTVubo0GY0
CECIL769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3uNXBMZ2n
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhmwblnIJQ
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OE0cZ9RPO
That may be the case, but look at this.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUezmDX5NEH
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCptiHuNH4D
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pRrCjyhax
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQKgdyHt7b
CECIL769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjyvFATUVd
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60B0C1TlX9
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPFQl4fnmd
(grimly)769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlol09TIC9
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTZjV4w6bQ
CECIL769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCMREdeonK
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HJihDyFKn
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCmlOGQVNj
XIUYING769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7Wg5qcTFp
Who said anything about paying them off?769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHhcXaOy79
--769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmPA9jKUyo
