A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XozMDufNa
-:-782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfLDwCMCc3
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4tV841P4T
CHARACTERS782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66ra755pzs
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eEf6jsShp
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PJp1pEzRH
--782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNigapUzaIg
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI3btsW5Lb
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ygt6jpIe8
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qCFilvkMb
We don’t have much time.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhNzFv9yMx
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyTKV5ctru
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXxswmMLkb
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8Sm6ZpDRo
CECIL782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkT8SRnjwJ
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbVgwoVl7y
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwH5oyqOvd
I understand you’re upset - 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlhmsJhklN
CECIL782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ3jjxAeeF
I damn well am! 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccDANS0RLV
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABAxVrP1ZT
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRuECULg43
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoBSszB91p
CECIL782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8xP731YGQ
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZneFhark1M
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjW2dfHwrs4
(slowly)782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvs9NE0wqGW
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnw1Lw2727V
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zDl3sW71Z
CECIL782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCm1GXFoI7i
What?782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvyfzLXksv
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrXk0LwBKN
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBL1EMJOeKi
CECIL782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNhfeNGiL1
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBjIb64UeX
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7780tVjRu
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HKDIQxdzU
CECIL782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzGbqh7gol
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WaeLyxb0Q
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7UFaPglrd
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRhe7E5ccz
CECIL782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuyOgPHLMR
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3usM3oXK4u
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXi4iQAWQ6G
That may be the case, but look at this.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchfNdfHEYB
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnZTFelN1M
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fz36Eks2O
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCVY3BE57k
CECIL782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCjX4hpLF6
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBSeldMpu6
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHB2ZdGHOiN
(grimly)782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfk6kC9RsmW
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxexEf2vAe
CECIL782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrCJ71QnHz
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIt691P7vfN
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqYaoUrR0B
XIUYING782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUcpYIn5cP
Who said anything about paying them off?782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUEaYLgpy1
--782Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCk3DiNhm9
