A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo83wODXEys
-:-768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybWxrwM7xe
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZHA3KIXKh
CHARACTERS768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElRnAfpmGT
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUEnVCZBOx
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmu6aqXqgH
--768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFRV6Y5YlY
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRHaM2tuoP
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7m1ZkdtJR
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhieSfMnN6
We don’t have much time.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWnZQHOf3E
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66kW4NUHLK
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVTxdgl1ws
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WML3GLvc1
CECIL768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOajb70yskg
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VmdCpu5Vx
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OXvNMNGT6
I understand you’re upset - 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8DXBUdnCj
CECIL768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnyr2Z3HuX
I damn well am! 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ByNyrjS97
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pYXU0C9qg
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfFd4Acrmn
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9sjwRqfMy
CECIL768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdo6WCak1D
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeWxmQ1H6D
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmSxVptMw9
(slowly)768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuw9QviFxK
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgJo5tdl35
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFf7XgLfGdf
CECIL768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOtXok6Uji
What?768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TDRHK8Vxk
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus3VU2DfDu
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagSiShufoo
CECIL768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsyYFZxqip
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyAKo93aJs
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDQSt0Seb4
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvNnuNGi66
CECIL768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPnHkOP1Nd
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJFZkfTT8D
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsEO6mG3EO
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2q7nLkiOW
CECIL768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TG9BIen9v
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXuY0WgaD8
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9iRIBCBUL
That may be the case, but look at this.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEU4spDpqJ
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qBMiTIhA5
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtTQnMxJRI
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97dZ8gxqxJ
CECIL768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcECLsgnhGq
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhr12jPKJc
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBz7QAUQqZv
(grimly)768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5qMH8AAmf
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kcelenWjp
CECIL768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hK3fXqznm
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEW4bW8scb
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QHGlUAhLC
XIUYING768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnuhAfqtrN
Who said anything about paying them off?768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaMKa5tNg0
--768Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwjyDuPK1O
