A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZOd3ajZgJ
-:-822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oPdFRRa1S
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAniY5kLSog
CHARACTERS822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQziV7YBpxZ
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiaIQd6rV7
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWAde6RPUS
--822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEL7X9sEi4
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4E6Vl4vyy
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeH1ogiFiDq
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSg8rl2TnH
We don’t have much time.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdLQFENRmL
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNI6BcgZbf
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mepyLCoKp
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bMz1FsD5x
CECIL822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjScq8xPqNF
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTJoO196Do
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9vdMbaHjN
I understand you’re upset - 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqccioy2qs
CECIL822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMGllz05ah
I damn well am! 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPafKgFAPi
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPFkibA1Fy
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwFRJoljdC
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfHPFhZp3L
CECIL822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm05VFYTMt1
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnPDbC0RvP
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVU4aC4UMX
(slowly)822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BjIMxR1XC
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsSYzm3itW
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0Nv3QAEi3
CECIL822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsL9QWM9A8q
What?822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68JIQMKoio
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wh4XzK9Yq
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5O99xPa25b
CECIL822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtEXVhY8RA
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADp10iDDgF
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg5DvIc7AJ
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmTiIuNdXL
CECIL822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40g6gTj4VR
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRwhxQyboq
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxy1E5MjzC
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmWWvFkoNg
CECIL822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Bc97e0Xfo
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsh96hX5XJ
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZBdrYCfh1
That may be the case, but look at this.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULG72si1v5
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEYuMqJrXL
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftONv2qLeG
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6gpLfReYK
CECIL822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIAX6PWgMt
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxJLkNlvOx
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHOB6owRCj
(grimly)822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjjiFaw2rg
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2v7zgc9Bd
CECIL822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkJB5EdPda
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTk2zVuMfvG
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULZ6XRwxGe
XIUYING822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YI4Mv18L3
Who said anything about paying them off?822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrunR9ARiiC
--822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnW6sM0htd
