(Sierra's POV)
"Wake up, stupid," somebody commands.
I ignore whomever it is and try to return to my sleep, but the next thing I know, I'm being shoved off of my bed and onto the floor. I kick my blanket off of my legs and stand up to find a girl around my age laughing at me.
"Mistress said that I had to wake you up for breakfast, but I really shouldn't have. You're already too fat," she says before sauntering out of the room, leaving me standing there.
I grab my outfit for the day and head to the bathroom. Once I've showered quickly, I dry myself off with a towel and slip into my undergarments. I grab my blade and cut myself once on my right side. After I've stopped the slight bleeding and hidden my razor, I change into my outfit. I decided to wear a baggy pink sweatshirt and black jeans. I lace up my light pink Converse sneakers and finish off my outfit with a black beanie and aviator glasses, leaving my long blonde hair down and natural.
I exit the bathroom and start walking to the cafeteria. I'm not going to eat anything, but sometimes the head mistress has something important to announce, or if we're lucky, there'll be somebody looking to adopt one of us. Upon entering the cafeteria, the loud noise of the other girls engulfs me, and I resist the urge to cover my ears. How can they be so happy? I take a seat at the lone table crammed into a far corner of the room, which is empty as always. This should just be considered my table because I'm the only one who ever sits here. I fold my arms on the table and lay my head down, looking around. The same girls who make my life a living hell are now giggling and talking happily among their groups of friends. I heave a depressed-sounding sigh, turning my head so that I'm no longer looking at them but through the window. I watch as autumn leaves flutter to the ground. The tones of red, orange, and yellow stand out as the sun's rays beat down on them. I yearn to go outside, but why should I torture not only myself but also the people out there with my hideousness?
I hear somebody take a seat at my table, but I don't look up, assuming that it's just another person who will bully me.
"Hi," an unfamiliar voice greets.
I look away from the window and sit up to face a girl who appears to be younger than me. Her brunette hair is about the same length as mine, and she has dark brown eyes. Her eyes are warm, and her smile is inviting. Why is she talking to me? Who is she?
"Hello," I say.
"I'm Madison, but everyone just calls me Maddie," she informs me, sticking out her hand for me to shake.
I cautiously shake her hand. I won't let my guard down. I can't handle getting stabbed in the back again. My emotions remind me of a song. How did it go again?
I'm addicted to the madness.
I'm a daughter of the sadness.
I've been here too many times before.
Been abandoned, and I'm scared now.
I can't handle another fall out.
I'm fragile, just washed upon the shore.
Yeah, that's it. I love that song, but I don't know the name of it nor do I know who sings it. I don't listen to much music. I don't have a phone or an iPod or anything like that.
"I'm Sierra."
"That's a pretty name."
"Thanks," I say, taken aback by her compliment.
"You're welcome. How old are you?"
"Twelve," I reply.
"I'm eleven."
She's not too much younger than me.
"Do you have any siblings?" she asks me.
I shake my head no in response.
"Do you?" I question.
She nods with a grin on her face.
"I have two older half-sisters, and we're all really close. Dallas is twenty-five, and Demi is twenty-one. Do you know Demi Lovato?" she randomly asks.
I shake my head no once again. A smirk forms on her lips.
"This should be fun then!" she says in a slight squeal.
I'm confused, but I don't comment on it. Instead, we just talk about random things, like our favorite colors and our hobbies.
"Maddie!" a woman calls.
"Coming, mom!" Madison calls back. "I gotta go, but maybe I'll see you again soon," she suggests with a knowing smirk.
I nod, even though I know that I'll never see this girl again. Why would I? She obviously has a family that she cherishes and vice versa. I have nobody. I am completely and utterly alone.
(Maddie's POV)
My mom, my dad, and I are driving back home after our visit to the home or whatever they call it. Sierra seems like a pretty cool person. I don't think she deserves the life that she's stuck with. It did surprise me that she has no idea who my sister is, though. I thought that everyone knew who Demi was. It's kind of refreshing to meet somebody that has no clue who my family is.
"Mom?"
"Yes, baby?"
"What about that girl I was talking to?" I ask.
You see, my parents want to adopt one of the girls to give them a better life or something like that. I really didn't pay attention to the reasoning behind it. All I heard was that I'm getting another sister.
"What was she like?"
"She was nice, but she seemed kind of shy and nervous. Oh, and she doesn't know who we are nor does she know who Demi is," I reply.
"Really? That's... different," my mom mutters.
I laugh.
"I like knowing somebody that has no idea who we are! It's refreshing," I say.
"You're right. So, tomorrow we can come back and fill out some paperwork, and then we can bring her home the day after."
"And we're not telling Demi because...?"
"Because I want to surprise her, and she's visiting the day after tomorrow anyway, so it'll work out great."
Hopefully.
****
The next morning, we go to the home to fill out Sierra's paperwork. I can't wait to tell her that we're going to be sisters! I'm ecstatic, but I'm not sure how she'll take the news. I really hope that she'll be happy about it.
As my parents talk to the owner or whomever, I head back to the cafeteria to find Sierra. I glance at the table we had been sitting at yesterday. Sure enough, there she is, sitting all alone. Does she not have any friends or anything? That's sort of a depressing thought. I walk over to her, but she doesn't notice me because she's staring out the window.
"Hey," I chirp, taking the same seat that I claimed yesterday.
"Hi," she replies, looking away from the window and facing me.
"How are you?" I question.
"Fine," she vaguely responds.
She's not fine.
"That's good," I mumble, shaking the voice from my head.
She looks perfectly fine, but I should know better than anyone that just because somebody looks fine, it doesn't mean that they are. I mean, we all thought Demi was fine, and look at how that turned out. I push away my solemn thoughts and instead focus on the girl in front of me, who I realize is basically my sister now.
"I have great news!" I exclaim.
"What?"
"Well, my parents and I were talking yesterday, and we would like to make you a member of our family!"
"Wait, what?" she asks, looking at me as if I'm crazy.
"My parents are adopting you! Welcome to the family!" I say with a wide smile on my face.
My smile starts to falter as I realize that she's not reacting like I am.
"What's wrong?" I question.
"You guys really do not want me as a member of your family. Trust me," she says, getting up from the table and walking off.
I follow after her, trying to match the speed of her quick pace.
"What do you mean? Of course we want to have you as a part of our family!"
She starts shaking her head vigorously.
"No, no, you don't. Just trust me, Maddie. I'm not... I'm not normal," she says, seeming as if she doesn't know how to word what she wants to say.
"Nobody's normal, Sierra. I know that for a fact. You're you. That's all that matters," I try to reason with her.
"Just leave me alone, Madison!" she snaps.
I stop. She's angry. I didn't realize that we'd made our way to what I'm assuming is her room. She stands near another door, and I hover in the doorway.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. "but you can't change our minds. We're picking you up tomorrow, so be ready," I conclude before turning on my heel and walking back to my waiting parents.
"How did it go?" my mom questions as we're driving home.
"She flipped out, but I think she'll warm up to the idea eventually," I sigh.
"It's a lot to take in at one time, Maddie. She'll become quite fond of the idea soon enough," she reassures me.
I nod and look out my window, not sure that I believe her... or myself.
(Sierra's POV)
How dare they? How dare they say that they're adopting me and not even giving me a say? I can feel my anger boiling. I mean, I know that I wanted to be adopted, but I don't want to screw up their perfect family life just because I'm a fuck-up. What happens if they find out that I cut or purge? They'll either send me to a nut house, or I'll end up right back here!
Thankfully, Madison got the hint and left. I'm now sitting on the bathroom floor, wearing only my undergarments, with my razor clutched tightly in my hand. I've been cutting my wrists, no longer caring about anybody being suspicious. They can think whatever the hell they want. They'll bully me either way. I cut myself twice on my thigh once my wrists are too soaked with blood to continue. I'm so fat, so ugly, so broken. The lyrics from earlier return to my mind.
I'm addicted to the madness.
I'm a daughter of the sadness.
I've been here too many times before.
Been abandoned, and I'm scared now.
I can't handle another fall out.
I'm fragile, just washed upon the shore.
I angrily throw my blade at the locked bathroom door, starting to cry. I bring my knees up to my chest and clutch them to me tightly, bowing my head as I begin sobbing heavily.
Why do I keep torturing myself? Why don't I just do everyone a favor and give up? Nobody loves me anyway.
Eventually, my sobs cease. I suddenly feel drained. I pick up my blade and return it to its hiding spot, clean up the blood, and change into a set of pajamas, tossing the clothes I wore today into the hamper. Even though it's only around noon, I quickly fall into a dreamless sleep.
ns 15.158.61.5da2
