《赤足的庭院》（2）69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UsNDsSh7J
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UPOAR3EA3
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4a53TVZzB
00369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5UAEtTjeC
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu595w3w4ak
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc4aOO62MX
我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoZVq5EVeE
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj8o7JrPqZ
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUeXEnQeUN
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlG6ZOci7W3
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUTT2JWkAu
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVJ1w5XC8C
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAAbQ5E9yK
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46gyf4vQT5
但那不是指現在。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10jhmTF2YI
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeN5GB2DlG
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQa0aJDxcJ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfS0svCjez
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40Y5a1sOFG
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXjKB8oOs3
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjitEsxjhM
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48GvJZgHpP
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPV0ZhF69m
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAEzMro7YP
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFEmrTeZPy
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqER0rCEcZ1
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGdZ88ORwm
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cGxZet5up
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRFR6n31x1
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ur1cCqgiu
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8Sq3r44DL
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6eTR1bRzc
「李靜。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwai4DNVYEy
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJPX5Xl81c
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2640vi7SA
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77ZCkjtPcZ
「⋯⋯」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gOQyKPKrR
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5Raj0Apei
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvEOUhv1fq
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODawULep4Y
「哈⋯⋯」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3v5nro62b
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XNXBdQSxY
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFx9R0BFZv
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jdOB1ugkq
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHxNuYC66T
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XZWzqbliB
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1cC5WxSeM
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaAXF5iMtv
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsXAQ8lSZe
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOg05hnPPRc
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfOPMCFQ9m
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWBfjbs96x
我搖搖頭。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGpkwFRBko
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUN8H9MkbE
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBGr6WfE4o
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhyxgW5xf4
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC25FA9ucWK
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILao2CFABn
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2n1K3ZemJs
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1IAeYBPXj
「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoUpg9ar3Y
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbL0CIZziCK
「是的，所以⋯⋯」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXnD7Hu3aG
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7NwMuJfhI
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gr9Bh7yvH
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9QsKSOQ9O
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡez1WrWf3g5
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXYBbJn7SN
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDSb1QoWlZ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJ2tO27oFO
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjotlmpG92c
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9grpci3HpV
「怎麼可能。」她說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3X0Pvb3H0
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7Dz7P2vy4
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaKGZfBUjt
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZaNmNfOrJ
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5gwWpNfwT
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAOYOuSCSc
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqJ9siEj01
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUcRIeMcgD
直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1O6GiPpEt
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxQFlJY1il
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkYcj9p1E7
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjkji5w1IT
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMK7njkzmXQ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdaWOJ1JqH
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJP1beG4F4
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfiHoz5IGA
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5CNvU2FdD
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKyVMX7ZWi
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlShkzT9m7W
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9epMmZv6ff
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTmTYO20YN
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmrRAJBpCp
00469Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeaV8B7WGN
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEWaD0A6Hh
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTEnRdRJHH
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7ahE9O6Gb
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4Tib7TgZS
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBCQHqUqb7
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkXnUnDk1G
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlvgTSAW6o
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tVFui5W3u
「嗯，非常美味。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vR1iLi1uX
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyzqLUvBuC
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdShb4zcvS
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSnHnGJmlR
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWNqoqHB0J
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh596pWq1De
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffGIJDtN1y
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HoP2KWLNA
然後她讓我看了台灣附近。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8tZj23yzT
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FaDslnbVK
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8aeMbdlrS
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2byXxB3al
「嗯⋯⋯。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvbMgpo3jz
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIAXivgtgW
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufc7gmRFIG
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VLXTHmYWS
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLBy9v8opX
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10FYqspz4M
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpj6rNzC4Hg
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7o2CZK7xt2
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybHT9KrYvV
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLWAmSK8g0
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagCmwynLdD
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcFRmOHgqI
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdD4f6UG3x
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0FNbqNFvH
「什麼？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMWkWkctEH
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jpG5bblyB
她又問了一次。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzQejsweiZ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WORZzSYZX
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcfI5mA5c9
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveKzC2ATnT
「什麼意思？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP84pgrC4oQ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxqEUxfQyE
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVXup4OC18
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicEXBwXmHK
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4y8DwhM1Ht
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSITfugNXq
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2rQMBK0Ge
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIJeSCeSLj
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZG67i6CTTp
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUyOKBRx1Q
「是嗎？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fTGVIM3y8
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX579lu9gj
「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOx1v1Jeav5
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6A5yrFkgbH
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCFKm1yAOT
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fTsR9RmEc
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGY9QB5p43q
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhfMz4kzf3
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzocPYpxluB
果然很像。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiS2SDiJdVt
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5TCOLy2Mt
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmTfNGHbgg
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKvR7tzgpZ
那是我第四次的離家出走。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwsAav72fw
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGFGPXpxm9
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagOPfyJ8qm
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj7D8zQocB
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIrIKTTrSb
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAUAVABGjF
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6o3ysVUZy
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfKl900qr3
我喜歡文學。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GYoLFwcVu
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmPbnzE2K7
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EcFrbxCvp
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWycTx12IRu
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoKipAXb5P
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uSWRTJWKR
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcxoO5mAPz
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uMh83ijzA
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHaZCvb4Mm
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAL7yERZt0
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXk5kM2YG0
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNNzlLPIWg
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwBlde0omN
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdtxHauCrS
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKemqpGJPK8
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41b9BBvH2u
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyi4yuSJ00
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLeBse73X6
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqPDNS1Izb
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqgEisYLkD
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58kBm29a5x
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsGQyPvbGG
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlBSIg3ovH
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xby4R8BJo
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKs5fvK2NS
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡporTwonPVV
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5br7Q2mq77
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjXMmjEmSR
「嗯，你也是。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsAqGgiEZI
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOebUnMBpeH
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWYrwrnEc4
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKalUjLmCv
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFU5dGcViD
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfl0niGIquD
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpmQtEuvyJ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p4eEEU57Z
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQyCVYIQVT
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRyOCjeqNO
「嗯？我看看噢。」
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