Lilith and I talked for a while before our home room teacher told us to get back to our work. I worked on some missing assignments for the rest of the day.
When the bell rang for everyone to leave Lilith looked confused.
“Do you know where you’re supposed to go?” I ask.
“I’m supposed to ride bus 13 but I don’t know where the buses are.”
“Lucky for you, I ride bus 13” I lead her outside to the bus area and we wait for the bus to arrive. I let her sit with me at my usual spot in the front away from all the annoying people.
We talk about random things that come to our mind.
“We're almost at my stop.” I tell her, looking out the window.
“Oh , well before you get off, what’s your number?" I type in my phone number into her phone right as the bus drives up to my stop. I gather all my stuff and get off. I wave to Lilith as the bus drives away.
I walk to my house and open the front door to be greeted by my dog, Chance. I say hi to my mom before I head upstairs to my room and plop myself onto my bed. I look at the time on my phone. 3:46. I don't have any homework tonight so I can just do whatever.
I look out my window. It's still raining.
she's just gonna leave
just like the rest of them
you know that don't you
don't get attached
I do whatever until I decide I should take a shower. I grab some clothes out of my dresser and I get a towel out of the closet. I head into the bathroom.
break the mirror
you know you want to238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5d0xVNtQT238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxEgA3o1kV
do IT238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8eXOAcp7a
DO ITDO ITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDO ITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDO ITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDO ITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOITDOITDOITDITDOIT
"STOP IT!!!" I lock myself in the bathroom. I turn on the shower and sit on the floor. I start crying. My hands are shaking. I don't want to listen to him! Just remember what my therapist says. He doesn't control me. But I want to so bad. They don't understand. I want to listen. I want to just give up and let go and be free. They just don't understand. They think its so easy to just not listen. Everything starts to feel fuzzy and then everything goes blank. 238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYHrs5ie09
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPvm5NnwNN
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4SjgCwYBl
SEVERE TRIGGER WARNING238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJoLQvQ55R
IN DETAIL SELF HARM AND SUICIDE238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMFl1SS7OW
I walk out of the bathroom, grab my phone and walk back into the bathroom. I go to my messages and find Lilith. She texted me earlier. I grab the small mirror that sits on the bathroom counter and I set it on the floor. The shower is on so no one hears it when I step on the mirror. It breaks and I grab the biggest and sharpest piece. I pick up my phone and text Lilith. 238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vLNRk4hR8
'Goodbye Lilith, it was good being your friend for the short amount of time that I knew you for. I'm sorry you have to read this but it's better for me not to be on this earth anymore. Goodbye. -Kai'
I sit down next to the toilet and open the lid. I position my left arm so my forearm is above the bowl. I grab the piece of glass and hold is right above my left wrist. I take a deep breath and push the sharpest part of the glass onto my wrist. I hold my breath as I cut deeper and deeper and the pain grows more and more. Tears are falling down my face uncontrollably. I pull the glass away from my wrist and blood pours out of my arm and into the toilet. I wad up some toilet paper and push some onto the wound to see how deep it is. I can see bubble of fat on the inside of the cut and in the middle was the little blue vein. More blood pours into the toilet I hold the glass and cut more and more. Each time I cut deeper the pain grows. My hand starts to become numb and the vein becomes more visible. More blood pours out of the wound on my wrist. My phone rings and I see that it's Lilith. I ignore it. She calls a few more times but I ignore her. 238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuzml1JR9N
I'm in the bathroom cutting for what seems like an eternity. I never hit the vein. Someone knocks on the door. I freeze. Shit.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHcZ9EWqKh
"KAI! Open the door!" My mom yells.
"I-I'm in the shower!" She knows she knows she knows
"No you're not! You've been in there for well over two hours. And your friend's mom called." The lock in our bathroom is broken so my mom forces open the door. she sees what I did "What the fuck, Kai!" She calls my dad up to the bathroom. He looks into the bathroom and sees me sitting on the floor.
"Holy shit! Let me see your arm." My dad looks at my arm. He turns to my mom as I'm about to pass out. "Call 911." 238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkvMMOiCKM
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