Hey...
Do you ever feel like what you're doing isn't enough? That, no matter what you do, that urge to scream sits in a lump in your throat? That's my whole life.
Don't get me wrong, my family and friends are the coolest. But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel unappreciated.
I clean every room. I do the dishes at least twice a day. I vacuum and pick up after my sister, who adamantly refuses to do anything that resembles helping me. And what do I get for my efforts? "Oh, thanks for cleaning the living room, M." or, "I'm so glad you did the dishes, M." or, "Thanks for picking up after your sister, M." And then that's it.
I help because I love helping. My mom says I'm nurturing. But could I get a little more recognition for it? I'm not talking all the time, or even every day. Just every once in a while.
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And another thing: I'm super shy and a little socially insecure. I don't like to talk to people, not even my mom. Even if I wanted to, which I don't, I'm not sure I could. So, when she goes off like, "Are you okay? I don't know because you don't tell me anything." does she consider the fact that maybe I can't? She says it's like she doesn't know me. Sometimes she reads my writing and she's like, "I don't like some of your writing. You've been blessed with a gift of words but some of your writing is very... unlike you."I feel like no one knows the real me. Like in my poem 'Breathe':
Facade undeterred, real me unknown
What if that's who I am now? What if I'm a slightly-darker-than-average writer?
Facade undeterred
Real me unknown
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Sigh. Sorry for burdening y'all.
Bye, guys.
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- MarkTwain2.0
I feel so invisible.
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