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‘These lot have forgotten their packed lunches!’ hollered Neill at Mrs Coleman who was wandering over curious at the hub of excitement. ‘Haven’t you all?’
He waggled his hands at them like a stage compère. From a hive of giggles and murmurs came a resounding ‘yes, Neill!’
‘Such a naughty lot. But they said they’ll pay me back when they’ve all got their blue collar jobs, and Natalia is—’ he turned momentarily to her — ‘a CEO of something or other. Ok, well off we go!’ He beckoned the delighted group like his disciples, and put out a gesturing palm to a bewildered Coleman.
‘Would you like to come too Kate?’
She laughed. ‘I see Steve’s going… well, I don’t think I should leave Miss Doris overseeing fifty pupils on the green.’
‘Why not?’
She laughed again.
‘Kate don’t you want a hot pub meal with a nice ale?’
‘I can’t have ale on a school day!’ she chortled.
‘Perfect time, we’re not driving! Besides, those kids over there are buggering off to the café anyway. Come.’
She frowned. ‘This is why we told everyone to bring a packed lunch.’
‘And this is exactly why I knew we shouldn’t. These kids aren’t babies.’
‘Look, you go ahead, but I need to round up those boys messing about at those residences,’ Coleman squinted fretfully over at Luke and Bernard climbing the gate by the cottages. ‘You go enjoy.’
Natalia, very entertained by all this, now moved alongside twenty other traipsing feet down the lane into the Black Bull. She found Neill had a way of somehow steering her, as though he were keeping space for her at his side whenever he turned or moved; an invisible calling to which she responded silently, as the Head of Thornwood and his ten teenagers now trooped through a narrow black door into an open, carpeted room of oak tables.
A stout, brown-eyed man with a three-day beard and a cloth in his hand looked at them in surprise.
‘Afternoon my man. What’s your name?’ Neill put out his hand.
‘Hi, I’m Dan. Er, how many are yer? Normally we don’t have schoolkids, or so many—’
‘Oh, no worries Dan, these are all over sixteen, they won’t be drinking, although I’ll try my damned hardest to make up for them all. There’s twelve of us, conjoin these tables, shall we?’
‘Yeah, yeah, fine,’ Dan grinned, and soon they were seating themselves around a rectangular formation of wobbly square tables, beer mats being tossed between three boys, as Steve chuckled. ‘They say it’s haunted here by Branwell himself. I’ll bet he still rings the bell for another drink!’
‘Now that’s a ghost who does something useful,’ remarked Neill.
‘Wish he’d be useful to grab us some more stools!’ laughed Steve as he looked for another two. Natalia, trying to perch her bum on the end of the bench next to Gemma, heard Neill’s whisper at her ear:
‘Psst, Pippy-long-bluestockings. Come help me get drinks.’
Natalia jumped up to the bar with him.
‘What do you reckon, lemonade? With a shot of vodka to put them all to sleep for a bit?’
‘They’re not the worst lot. You chose wisely.’
‘Oh, I did.’
Soon they were carrying two jittering trays of lemonades back to the table. Natalia ran back to grab and busily fling straws into each one, whilst Neill steadied a brimming pint of IPA with concentration in each hand, the heads almost sloshing off the top as he lowered one to Steve.
‘Here you go, mate,’ as he sat down on a central stool left vacant for him on the outer side of the table.
‘Where’s ours!’ laughed Alex.
‘He’s already sixteen, so he could have one,’ added Adam, ‘although I’m not sure about everyone else.’
‘Shhh, you’re all sixteen in here! …You ok there, Natalia?Shift up a bit girls.’
‘Is that true?’ asked Alana as she shuffled along, ‘I thought you can’t drink till you’re eighteen?’
‘It’s correct. You can’t buy alcohol till you’re 18, but at 16 you can have it with adults with a meal,’ Neill winked as he hoisted his pint in the air.
‘Imagine that in the papers,’ retorted Steve. ‘Pupils spotted drunk on school trip!’
‘Yes, no thanks,’ frowned Neill.
‘Hmm. Not catchy enough,’ Natalia couldn’t resist, catching Neill’s eye. ‘How about… Kids Caught Canned on Boozy Brontë Bus Trip?’
Neill chortled as he set his beer back down. ‘That’s more like it. Let’s do it, let’s give the Yorkie Post an update on their New Age Head!’
The table laughed.
‘Although change the word trip. Something beginning with B…’
Natalia’s eyes lit up in thought. ’Boozy Brontë Bus Brigade.’
‘Good, good!’
They grinned at each other as the others watched blasé, sucking their straws.
‘When are you sixteen, Natalia?’ asked Neill.
‘January.’
‘Bit of a wait for you then.’
‘For what?’ asked Alex.
‘Beer of course,’ said straight-faced Neill, ‘what else?’
The table giggled as Natalia took her straw to her lips to suppress a blush starting. Dan was now coming over with a notepad.
‘Can I get you any food, guys?’
‘Yes!’ Neill slapped his knee. ‘What’s the easiest and quickest meal you can make a dozen of?’
‘Well, sandwiches - or if you like - fish and chips? We have it as a special today.’
‘Right! Yes! Do that! Wait - any vegetarians here?’
‘I am,’ Alana raised her hand.
‘Oh, there’s always one—’
‘Us too,’ Gemma and Aisha added.
‘Why all three of you?’ Neill frowned. ‘Buy one get two free on Vegetarian Society membership?’
‘I’ve been veggie since I was four,’ rejoined Alana - ‘It’s for the animals,’ cooed Aisha - ‘Since you were four? Oh well done Alana,’ chimed in Gemma. ‘I’m trying to be vegan, nothing with a face, you know—’
Neill scrunched his face. ‘Right. Well, nine fish and chips, and three er… bread and cheese for these girls so Mr Brocklehurst here can come in afterwards and lob off your hair.’
The table laughed, as Dan looked confused.
‘Brocklehurst?’
‘Jane Eyre. Isn’t it mandatory for every resident of this town to read it?’
‘He’s more like Heathcliff,’ chuckled Dinkey.
‘Do you do pizza?’ asked Aisha. ‘With no meat?’
‘Heathcliff do Margherita?’ Neill squinted up at Dan.
‘Yeah, we do.’
‘Just one between us is fine,’ Aisha added.
‘Oh no, not dieting vegetarians is it?’
‘No, no, we’re just not very hungry,’ said Alana.
‘Natalia?’ Neill asked. ‘You veggie or dieting?’
‘No way. Full plate please, I’m starving.’
‘Yeah, she looks it,’ came wryly from Adam.
Neill turned his eyes in surprise at him as an awkward silence fell across the table. Natalia blinked into her lap.
Neill coughed. ‘Well dear Adam, for once you might even be right. Thank you Dan that will be all. Oh! Have another IPA ready for when I finish this one! Cheers chap!’
Natalia was wondering upon Neill’s last comment, sensing something strange about his face as he glugged his pint whilst staring at the bubbles in Natalia’s lemonade.
‘So, everyone,’ began Steve, ‘what was our favourite room in the Brontë house?’
The responses round the table effused: ‘First one, Dining Room!’ - ‘Branwell’s bedroom - makes a pig-sty into art’ - ‘The Emily Brontë dress exhibit! So beautiful!’ - ‘The gift shop’ - ‘The exit!’ Silly laughs, jokes and elbowing accelerated till an old couple in the corner began to look over and Neill rapped on the table:
‘Now now guys. Let’s keep it civil. This is a pub not a moshpit.’
The three veggies giggled.
‘Have any of you been to Haworth before?’
‘I have, but a long time ago,’ said Rachel. ‘Not to the museum.’
‘You, Steve?’ asked Neill.
‘Aye, yes. I’ve been here a few times, but it’s always worth coming back. A bit like time travel, Haworth is.’
‘Looks unchanged from the Victorian photos in the pamphlets.’
The first three plates of fish and chips came out on Dan’s arms. A lady followed behind with another three.
‘Goodness that was quicker than a Drive-Thru!’
The plates were laid down as Dan went back to fetch the rest along with bundles of serviette-wrapped cutlery.
‘Here you go guys, ketchup, vinegar, tartare sauce, anything else?’ as arms criss-crossed the table with condiments. ‘Here’s your second beer, sir. All good? Enjoy!’
Everyone was settling into their plate with happy chit-chat when Natalia’s eyes raised to see Neill’s hand on her lemonade. He lifted it, and poured it entirely into his half-drunk beer.
She stared as he replaced the empty glass in front of her and gave her a sly wink.
Watching sceptically, he nudged Alex next to him.
’Shandy?’
Alex laughed and took a sip. Natalia watched as Neill’s eyes met back with hers, then lifted her empty glass and tapping it.
‘Adam, be so kind as to fetch Natalia another lemonade please. She’s out. Put it on my tab.’
Adam, just about to cut his fish, looked up surprised.
‘Er, ok, Neill,’ as he took it, the table in silence. ‘’Scuse—’
The girls drew up their legs to let him out. Natalia’s stomach suddenly felt hollow.
As soon as Adam was at the bar, the table began in half-idle chatter again, and Neill rubbed his hands.
‘Right, let’s be quick. It doesn’t look like Adam’s hungry.’ He took up Adam’s plate, forked the chips amongst each of the veggies. ‘Here you go girls, I’m certain they’re cooked in vegetable oil, I mean if a veggie can’t have chips what can they have!’ Looking to Natalia: ‘Natalia, your fish is dwarfish! Care for some more?’ Already forking half of it onto her plate, she murmured an ok, then he was turning to Alex. ‘More fish?’ He cut him a quarter. ‘Thanks Neill’ - then to Dinkey - ‘more?’ - ‘No thanks Neill. Wait is that Adam’s?’’ - ‘I’ll have it then’ ended Neill, putting down Adam’s now empty plate, just as Adam was returning with a fresh glass of lemonade that he set down coyly by Natalia, just as his face fell on his missing lunch.
‘Er, where’s my… food gone? Sir?’
The table fell quiet again, everyone looking at Adam’s remaining couple of crumbs, with some just clocking on what had happened.
Neill was casually sprinkling vinegar onto his chips. ‘Hmm? What is it?’
He swivelled round to Adam who stood bamboozled, and with a gesture across the table like a nonchalant Jesus at the Last Supper scrunching his nose at the schoolboy Judas, remarked loudly:
‘Oh, well, you were right Adam. Natalia, and indeed most of us here are pretty starving after all, so I donated your food accordingly. It’s so kind of you to teach us all a lesson today on how not to talk at the table when you’re being treated to lunch.’
Everyone stared mid-munch. Rachel and Dean sniggered. Aisha’s hand was at her mouth, looking either side to Alana and Gemma, whilst Natalia’s heart pounded, watching Adam grow beetroot red.
Neill took up his knife and fork, and with his back to Adam, added:
‘As a thank you, grab some peanuts and add it to my bill on the way out, unruly Northern monkey that you are. Good day.’
Chuckles spluttered across the table, just as Steve was ping-ponging his eyes fretfully between Adam and Neill, and Adam stepped back with a comic gulp, flared his nostrils and practically ran out of the door.
Neill held his ale it to the centre of the table. ‘Cheers everyone!’ as the prompt raising of nine lemonade glasses, Steve’s ale and an ebullient cheers came from the remaining pupils who seemed mirthfully relieved not to be the disgraced Adam, and as Natalia’s gaze caught on Neill’s, she too raised her glass, open-mouthed. Everyone seemed happy enough that Adam’s comeuppance had been served, and her appetite returned within moments, eating up the whole of her fish and chips with gusto and then awaiting the right moment to catch Neill’s attention amidst a flurry of football chatter with Dinkey.
‘Thank you very much for the lunch,’ she smiled shyly. ‘That was lovely.’
‘You’re welcome darling. Everybody done?’
Soon Neill had settled the bill at the bar and they were filing out with a chorus of thank-yous as Neill nodded and repeated, ‘you’re very welcome, you’re very welcome’ - as though the pupils were freshly imbued with new respect or perhaps even intimidation after what had happened to Adam, stepping into the cold refreshing November sunshine satiated with full bellies. ‘How long have we malingered for?’ - ‘Not long enough’ - ‘What time do we need to be back at the coach?’ - ‘Forty-five minutes.’
‘Ah, there’s Coleman and Doris just down there,’ said Steve. ‘Looks like they’re letting the kids wander the shops.’
‘Right, everyone in twos please!’ Neill addressed the group. ‘Back at the coach by 1.45.’
The little lunch family dissipated into various directions. Natalia looked to Neill who was lighting up another cigarette by a hedge, letting out a long soft groan to himself as she stood there, unsure what to do.
‘Er, Neill? I can go round alone if that’s—’
‘No chance.’ He looked around, stepped toward her, and his hand reached to her - as she took a sharp inhale - to grip softly, warmly, at the exposed neck between her pigtails, ushering her forward. ‘Come on, remedial,’ as she made a soft scoff back, awash with his warm and faggy, cologney aroma, trying to avert a delighted smirk.
‘And how do we go into a shop with you smoking?’
‘Won’t take long. Come down here, have you seen the Cabinet of Curiosities?’
‘The what?’
He motioned her alongside him as he sauntered down the cobbles toward the grandest shop on the street, flanked by two large multi-pane-gridded windows, its shiny black shopfront decked in quaint gold font, as they stared in at the window, Neill puffing and pointing:
‘It’s an original Victorian druggist and apothecary. A sight to behold. Go ahead,’ he motioned his fag, ‘I’ll finish up then follow you in.’
Natalia stepped into the shop to marvel at the glorious sight of ceiling-high shelves of bottles, vials and tubs of bath powders, fragrances, perfume oils; remedies, lotions and potions; a room so flooded with scent it made her nose tingle. Rose, lavender, lemongrass, ginger; she peered at the queer names on the products. Dark honey and tobacco, ‘Vampyre’ blood-red cherries, Rose Moth, Hedgerow. A Christmas display: Gingerbread, Snow Witch and Winterwood candles, wax melts, bath bombs and creamy soap bars. A friendly shop assistant smiled as she walked by, whilst customers examined and sniffed as if caught in the same reverie that rooted Natalia to the spot, her eye now caught by a Mermaid-themed display, on which was the most beautiful hardback book she’d ever seen.
A powder-blue tome illustrated with a mermaid perched upon rocks under swirling clouds: The Mermaid Handbook… ‘an alluring treasure of literature, lore, art, recipes, and projects.’
Natalia flicked through it transfixed, as a voice came over her shoulder.
‘Well that’s right up your alley. Or should I say ravine?’
She sighed. ‘It’s amazing. Look at this. That one’s just like that painting I showed you.’
‘Beautiful. How much is it.’
‘Oh, it’s twenty-five quid—’
‘Perfect, buy two. One to cut up for your sketchbook.’
‘No way! You already bought me a book. This one’s twenty-five pounds—’
‘Ok, one then. And which bath powder, I reckon the sandalwood that’s right up my nostrils—’
‘Neill, don’t be silly. You’ve paid out enough today.’
She replaced the book.
‘What are you, my accountant? You were more mesmerised by that book than the banana that time. Give it here and it’s yours.’
‘No!’ She shot out her hand to guard the book on its mount, policing her own growing smile with staring insistence.
‘Stop being such a fucking peasant,’ he frowned. ‘If that book boosts your art grade then it boosts the school’s stats. It’s not all about you, you know!’
She stared back at him.
‘I’ll do fine without it,’ as she edged away from the stall, and gazed toward another. I’m just looking and enjoying the shop. That’s good enough.’
Neill sniffed. ‘Nah. I’ll show you.’
He wandered to Aisha perusing the diffusers. Natalia heard him mutter:
‘Pick one.’
Aisha turned her perfect teeth in surprise. ‘Oh? Oh no, I’ve already bought one—’
‘Pick another then. I have a Christmas giftcard, which I need to spend today, and I need to make up the cost by buying some items for a few of you, so pick one, please, or it will go to waste…’
Natalia rolled her eyes.
‘Oh, ok! This one,’ as Aisha smiled even wider, handing one to Neill who swiftly stepped over to Alana by the fragrances, evidently uttering the same spiel to which she took a similar five seconds of reluctance to relent and pass a potion with a smile. And then Neill looked round to Gemma, and then Rachel, and now loaded with an armful of goods, walked past Natalia with the cockiest look on his face since announcing the uniform changes in Assembly, leaning into the ear of the nearest pupil who happened to be Aisha:
‘Go fetch that Mermaid book please, it’s right by Natalia.’
‘Sure.’
Aisha approached Natalia, smiling and swiping the copy from its mount as Natalia had no choice but to stand back and watch her add it to the counter. A few seconds of garrulous Christmassy talk with the cashier later, Neill was turning round with six or seven individual paper bags, handing them out like Santa himself to the girls who had gathered by the exit, and then to Natalia, stepped over, presenting hers:
‘You win. Or rather, I do.’
Natalia shook her head, taking the bag handles with a most mixed look of delight and disapproval. The excited girls at the door rummaged through their bags giving due thanks, as Natalia was forced to utter the same.
‘You’re all very welcome!’ Neill swung open the door in boisterous chivalry. ‘Gift card well spent,’ he added in earshot of Natalia, and as they spilled outside, he declared, with one arm around Alana and the other around Aisha:
‘Ladies! Care for tea before we jump on the coach back?’
‘Oh, yes! Sure, thanks Neill!’ tinkled their responses as they drifted a few doors up to a tea shop, setting their wares down on an outside table.
Natalia hurried in after Neill to the counter.
‘Neill, Neill… I wanted to buy you a tea.’
‘Oh well thank you—’
‘But, well I don’t have money to buy all of us one.’
‘That’s quite alright. I’ve never seen a school pupil buy a round of teas. I’ll sort you and these Twilight tweens a Tetley or Typhoo or whatever they’re got here.’
‘Yorkshire Tea, of course.’
‘Oh, of course.’
Soon they were all sitting outside - after Alana’s run-in quest for soy milk - and Neill, who had sandwiched himself between the four girls, after lamenting ‘they had cakes in there, looked delicious, Victoria Sponge my favourite but can’t be doing with the calories right now,’ lit up a fag and chit-chatted movie stars with them, whilst squinting at Natalia from over that fag-sucking hand, and seemed to be flaunting this moment - for was that one of his winks again? …that could be mistaken for smoke in his eye, as Natalia timorously sipped her tea that was now tepid from its wide saucer rim exposed to the November air - silent to the debate between the girls, of who was more attractive between Ryan Gosling or Christian Bale - her eyes lowering as she pulled her knees together.
‘Ah, Ryan’s the one then,’ mock-enthused Neill along with the conversation. ‘I mean, Christian Bale, a hot shot with the younger ladies? That’s news to me.’ He stubbed out his fag and checked his watch. ‘Right, we’d better get back.’
Cue scrapes of metal chair legs on stone as the girls thanked Neill and went on ahead, and he and Natalia loitered as though it had become instinctive to exchange glances after one of his bar-raising displays of mischief.
‘Well, the retail therapy worked a little,’ he remarked.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You look incrementally happier.’
‘Oh.’
‘But I’m not finished yet,’ as his hand came to her back, to guide her alongside him up the hill. ‘Fish and chips makes one feel a little salty and greasy, don’t you find? Hot tea helps but really, we need something sweet for the palette.’
‘Oh, god…’
‘And you like your sweets, I know that. Seen you squirrelling Haribos in your hand when I once passed you as though it were a guiltier secret than the weed we smoked last week. Well, see that shop on the left—’
She looked to see Mrs Beighton’s Sweet Shop, in rich postbox red Victorian font.
‘As perfect as something from Dickens’ time.’
‘Let’s just hope the actual sweets aren’t,’ she laughed.
He motioned her to the door and looked down at her intently.
‘We’re going to go in here. You’re going to pick whatever you want and you’re going to let me buy it. All double quick in time to get back to the coach. Yes?’ he prompted with a serious face.
She coughed. ‘Yeah, ok.’
‘Pardon?’ he frowned.
‘Oh my god.’ She hesitated. ‘Yes…’
His eyebrows raised, head cocked as though he was waiting.
‘…Sir?’ she said back in mock jest.
‘That’s more like it,’ as he pushed her shoulder straight through the door.
Read new chapters first on www.headmastersflame.com. Free, slick reading experience, tailored for mobile phones, where you can subscribe your email for a free Kindle book. - LS x56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdls3kj9IG
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