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So much has happened in the last few weeks. I am surprised that I'm even alive right now. Apparently, I've been out of my mind since I left the island off the coast of Nova Scotia. The place where we went to hunt for the cure to vampirism. Silas, a super irritating immortal ass, had been so deep in my head for so long, I am glad to finally be rid of him. I turned him to stone in this very tunnel I'm standing in but... I can't help but feel as if something is wrong. I feel hollow deep inside, like something essential is missing. Like I was no longer tethered to this plane of existence.
So I'm thinking that maaaaybe I shouldn't have cast that spell to bring Jeremy back to life. It was a huge one but that couldn't be the cause of why I feel this way right? I've done plenty of difficult spells without feeling like this afterward.
"What the hell is going on?" I asked out loud even though I knew no one would necessarily be listening to me.
"I'm sorry Bonnie," a voice said suddenly. "The spell was just too much."
I turned to see my grandmother standing behind me with a sad expression on her face. I cocked my head to the side in confusion. What the hell does she mean the spell was too much?
Looking down, I saw a sight that was literally the death of me.
"I'm dead..." I gasped as I looked at my body. "I'M DEAD?!"
"And that's not all," Grams said. "The spirits are not pleased with you and bringing Jeremy back again was the last straw. You were warned, Bonnie. By the time you close the veil, you will wake up in transition. Because death was not punishment enough for the spirits, they decided you will live out the rest of your days as the creature you despise the most."
"What???" I asked incredulously, something even deeper than fear gripped my hollow heart. "I can't be a vampire!"
"I know, dear. But, it was out of my hands." She took mine to comfort me. "I couldn't go up against the spirits and outright change your fate, but I did do a little something."
"What?" I asked.
"As you took your last breath, I took away your ability to do magic as a normal witch. I made it so that the only way you would be able to practice is if you were to drain the magic out of something or someone else before using it. You'll become one of nature's loopholes when you finally wake, a vampire with the ability to do magic. Your new status as a vampire will give you a power source to siphon magic from."
Oh my God!
"You will be a different kind of hybrid," she said. "An abomination among certain witch circles."
"Grams, why would you do that?" I asked.
"I knew that you wouldn't be able to handle being a vampire. I knew that turning would transform you into another version of Alaric. Having the ability to do magic still, was my gift to you. An incentive to stay the granddaughter I know and love."
"What if I just don't transition?" I asked.
"You could choose to do that and I would stand by your choice," she said. "I just fear the spirits will make you turn. Remember what happened with Alaric?"
"You're right," I said remembering how my own blood was used to complete his transition.
"Go be with your friends for now, Bonnie. I will watch over your body."
"Thank you, Grams."
"But Bonnie—
"I know I should tell them," I said cutting her off. "I just can't say goodbye right now. We've all been through so much."
"These are your last moments, Bonnie. Make them count."
"I will."
Graduation was bittersweet.
I told my friends I'd miss them while they were off to college and Care hounded me about when I was going to visit her in her new apartment.
A smile graced my lips as I thought of my friends sitting there during the ceremony. I was enjoying it until Kol showed up to ruin my mood talking about all the sacrifices made to bring Silas' plans to fruition. I honestly couldn't care less. I would be dead by the end of this... but that didn't mean I couldn't fuck some shit up before I go.
I took Kol to the tunnels and showed him my body. I told him I wanted to live but given the circumstances, it would be difficult.
"Then what are you waiting for? Let's do it together!" He exclaimed.
"Fine."
"Really?" He asked in genuine surprise.
"Mhmm," I said. "All I ask is that you leave Mystic Falls and never come back."
"You got it, darling."
"I'm serious, Kol. Abandon your revenge fantasy against my friends and I will let you live. If you don't... when the veil goes back up, you'll be back on the other side. Do you understand me?"
I touched his arm and tried to do what my Grams said. I imagined his body as a battery and did my best to siphon some of the magic from him. I could see his skin begin to grey.
"Alright, alright!" He yelled looking his hands in terror. "I understand."
"Good. So, until the veil has to go back up I have time to draw power from the full moon. To bring you back, however, I'll need more power to draw from. The daggers your brother uses, the white oak ash, and three irredeemable criminals to sacrifice should suffice. If you can find me that which I require, I will bring you back."
I actually had no intention of bringing him back, I planned on bringing Alaric, Grams, and Lexi back to life instead. But Kol didn't need to know that did he?
Hiding my body again, I went back into the tunnels under the school to drain what little magic I could from the rest of Qetsiyah's blood.
"Bonnie, I don't want to come back." Grams suddenly appeared as I finished with my ancestor's magically charged blood. "I made a sacrifice to help you live, if you so chose, as a vampire-witch hybrid. Don't bring me back, you shouldn't even be bringing anyone back."
"I hadn't planned on actually helping Kol, I was just gonna bring Alaric back for Elena and Jer, Lexi for Stefan, and you for mom and dad. Seeing as I'm not going to complete the transition."
"That is a very nice sentiment, Bonnie, but you can't. The spirits have already punished you—
"Exactly, Grams!" I exclaimed, interrupted her. "What else can they do to me?"
"Never underestimate the spirits, Bonnie. I already told you that and watch your tone when you're speaking to me. Dead or not, I am still your grandmother and I will be treated with respect," she said sternly. "Anyway, leave me be, I've already kept any of them from finding out what I did. Me coming back to life will set off too many bells and I don't want them to undo the gift I gave to you. As it stands, if you transition their connection to you ends. But like I keep saying, never underestimate them."
Kol came back with an hour to spare before it was time put the veil back up. He brought me everything I asked for.
"Thank you for the items, now leave. You don't need to be here for this."
"Thank you, Bonnie." He looked at me strangely. "I know you didn't have to bring me back.
"I'm not doing this for you," I said.
Once I was sure he was gone, I took a deep breath. I thought about Grams' words and noticed something... she never explicitly told me not to bring anyone back. She just said that I shouldn't.
With that in mind, I began the spell to stop the hearts of the criminals. I thought of everyone I wanted to save, including Kol.
Phasmatos revenios un Animum. Phasmatos revenios un Animum. Phasmatos revenios un Animum.
I repeated the spell six more times and hoped it worked. The fires went out, the criminals were unresponsive, and I felt depleted of energy. Hell, I was already dead so there's that.
I didn't know if the spell worked yet and if it didn't, I don't know what I'd do. But, I at least tried. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to three people. Elena, Jeremy, and Stefan.
A gift. From me to you.
- Bonnie
I didn't bother to reply as I wouldn't be a living being soon after the veil went up.
"Hey," I heard a familiar voice say. "I needed to see you."
"I need to close the veil, Jer. The hybrids and the hunters—
"I get it," he said interrupting me. "I'm ready. I just wanted to be with you when it happened."
"Did you and Elena—
"I can't— I can't say goodbye to her," he said. "We said no tears and I left her a letter. She'll find it when all this is over. I'm ready."
I closed my eyes and felt the last bit of power leave my body.
"It's almost closed," I said.
"So, this is it?" He asked. "Because I got your text and I have no idea what you mean. There were also a million things I wanted to say to you, but now nothing seems quite right."
"Then don't say anything."
I grabbed him and kissed him for the last time before the fires went out again.
He stumbled away from me and gasped for air. "What's happening?"
"Oh my God."
"What is it?" He asked.
"It worked, Jer." Great, at least everyone should be getting my gift by now. "I did a spell that brought you back, I didn't think it would work. But, I closed the veil and you're still here."
"Wait, I'm alive??"
I nodded and reached out for him, but I couldn't feel him.
"I can't feel your hand," he said. "What's going on Bonnie? Why can't I feel you??"
"It's okay."
"Bonnie, what did you do?!" He asked with a scared look in his eyes.
"I promise I'll explain everything to you. Just don't tell Caroline and Elena. I'm gonna be okay. Most importantly, you're gonna be okay. I want you not to worry about me and I need you to live your life to the fullest without me in it."
"Is this us breaking up?" He asked tears sliding down his cheeks. "That's not what I want, Bonnie!"
"Jer—
"No!" He exclaimed, cutting me off in the process. "We can still do this, we—
"No, Jer. We can't," I said. "It's not what I want and, deep down, it's not what you want either. A relationship with a dead girl wouldn't even be healthy for you."
I watched as his face fell taking in what I said and hopefully realizing that I was right.
"We need to let this chapter close gracefully," I said. There would be no point in fighting what we both knew for awhile now. "This is goodbye, Jer."
The tears kept sliding down my cheeks as I stepped backward to Grams who led me back to my body.
She consoled me and told me to relax, to pretend I'm falling asleep.
So, I did.
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