我同邱雅琳再攬多陣,錫多幾下後就離開天台,邱雅琳仲返緊工,幾唔捨得都唯有暫時分開,雖然我知道邱雅琳唔會再避開我,但係保險起見都問佢攞咗電話號碼,晏少少我就要返Waterloo,再見都唔知係幾時,剛啱重逢梗係想黐耐啲,不過個天似乎另有安排。
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返番病房搵Chloe,只見佢好精神咁喺度玩緊手機,一啲都唔似要住院。
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見到我Chloe即刻滿臉笑容:「點呀?見番前女友係咪好開心呀?」
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其實我哋已經算喺番埋一齊,唔叫前任喇:「你快啲好番我仲開心喇。」
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「你唔使咁好口,你見我個樣似嬲你咩?只係你都係時候詳細講清楚你哋嘅事俾我聽。」Chloe睇唔出有丁點不滿,似乎真係冇介意我同邱雅琳嘅事。
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事到如今,我都冇再對Chloe隱瞞,將同邱雅琳嘅事從頭講咗一次,由王小富點我代替佢去見網友開始,到今日正式喺番埋一齊,原來我同邱雅琳之間嘅事即使未算曲折離奇,但係都夠寫番本愛情小說。
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Chloe一直細心聆聽,由面露微笑到暗暗落淚,彷彿同我身同感受咁共同經歷多一次呢段唔算太長嘅愛情路。
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講完後我靜咗落嚟冇出聲,Chloe唔知係咪太過投入,一時望住天花板發呆,為邱雅琳而流嘅兩行淚水仍然留喺臉上未乾。
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天花板有咩咁好望呢?我循住Chloe嘅視線望向白色嘅天花,竟然見到盞燈旁邊有啲污漬,似乎係發霉喎,有冇搞錯呀,醫院唔係應該好乾淨㗎咩。
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「邱姑娘咁遠走嚟搵你,呢段時間得一個人一定好孤獨好難過,既然你打算同番佢一齊,就要好好對佢。」Chloe喺我鬧緊醫院嘅時候忽然話。
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「當然喇,不過你唔介意咩?」我望番Chloe,佢亦都咁啱同時望向我。
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「你咁多女,個個都介意我咪好唔得閒。」Chloe講嘅說話同佢個認真樣完全唔夾。
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個個好似你咁諗,好容易縱壞我㗎喎:「邱雅琳嘅事我冇諗過會發展成咁,不過嚟到呢個地步,我又唔忍心再拒絕佢。」
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「你已經拒絕過佢一次,既然接受番佢就要好好地對佢,男仔係咁花心,睇我阿爸嗰幾十頭住家就知喇。」Chloe一副大徹大悟嘅樣。
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我對Chloe另眼相看,原來喺感情上面,佢比我成熟得多,不管喺個人經驗定係從身邊人身上學到嘅,都比我多好多:「幾十頭住家咁誇張?我一定唔會,有你哋幾個我已經心滿意足。」
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「你而家梗係可以咁講,到你處於我阿爸嘅環境下,就算你唔想,都會有無數你拒絕唔到嘅誘惑出現。」Chloe充滿不信咁講。
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我想開口反對,只係就算以今時今日嘅身世,不斷出現喺面前嘅女仔,我都未曾拒絕過。
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「明喇,你係咪趕住返Waterloo,我過幾日就出院,到時再去搵你,你唔使喺度陪我喇。」Chloe見我冇出聲,就有啲唔耐煩咁話。
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我諗Chloe阿爸俾佢嘅印象真係好差,令到佢對男人或多或少有啲偏見同失望,而我嘅表現又確實未達標。
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接受唔等如認同,Chloe明白我接受番邱雅琳嘅原因,唔代表佢鍾意多個姊妹。
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「對唔住,喺你病緊嘅時候,仲令到你唔開心。」我真心同Chloe道歉。
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Chloe抬頭望向我,眼神複雜咁嘆咗口氣:「雖然我知道個個男仔都係咁,以前啲男友唔好話一腳踏兩船,就算只係少少變心我都即刻飛咗佢,但係對住你…唉!我都唔知點解覺得只要分到你一點點嘅愛,已經好心滿意足,只要你對我好,即使你仲對無數其他女仔好都無所謂,我似乎開始明白我阿媽嘅心思。」
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呢個問題我唔識答喎,整定啩:「我對你哋幾個都一樣,個個都咁鍾意,無論失去你哋邊一個,我都會永遠後悔。」其實係有分別嘅,喺我心裡面,Miss Cheung永遠排第一,周穎第二,Chloe同邱雅琳並排第三,但係冇咗任何一個都唔得就係事實。
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我上前低頭錫咗迷惘嘅Chloe一啖,將佢個頭攬落個肚度,冇法喇,心口俾邱雅琳喊濕晒,唯有用住個肚先,而且坐喺床度嘅Chloe個頭嘅位置啱啱喺呢個高度。
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Chloe攬實我條腰,將頭埋喺我個肚度,從肚上面微濕嘅感應,佢應該又係喊緊,俾女仔喊到成件衫濕晒,我都真係幾差,好彩今日著件衫係黑色,唔係咁樣兩笪濕晒都幾覺眼。
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到Chloe離開我個肚嗰陣,臉上已經恢復平時嘅從容笑容:「好喇,你真係要走喇,頭先我講嘅嘢你當睇戲咁睇完就算,唔好擺喺心裡面。」
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「唔係,我今次真係明,我唔會再令你哋失望。」咦?呢句說話我好似對唔同人講過無數次,係咪唔應該再講住呢?
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「話唔定係我令你失望呢,將來嘅事冇人知嘅。」Chloe語不驚人誓不休咁話,的確,喺愛情路上,係冇永遠嘅贏或者輸家,當你以為自己穩操勝算嘅一刻,可能正墮入對方嘅設計中。
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懷著忐忑不安嘅心情離開醫院,我俾Chloe最後嗰幾句話搞到有啲心緒不寧,喺香港嘅Miss Cheung、Toronto讀緊書嘅周穎、甚至剛重遇嘅邱雅琳同住緊院嘅Chloe,除咗表面上俾我見到嘅佢哋,背後仲有幾多嘢係我唔知嘅呢?
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呢啲就係「以小人之心,度君子之腹」,我自己做得唔好,竟然仲夠膽死去懷疑其他人,不過我都係稍為諗諗,咁感性嘅嘢都係唔啱我,見一步行一步適合我多啲。
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最壞情況,都係打回原形,變番以前嘅宅男,淨係呢段時間發生喺我身上嘅豐富經歷,已經夠我回味一生。
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