(closely linked to Li, set in 1999)
The morning assembly was a blur of droning announcements and shuffling feet. Ferris stood at the back, his gaze fixed on the polished floor, a dull ache spreading through his chest. He hadn’t been able to focus on anything since the incident in the lab.
Alithea.
He couldn't help but worry about her. She had been his lab partner, then his friend, and he wished they could have been more.
Then, the announcement. The dean, his voice heavy with grief, stepped up to the podium. "It is with deep sorrow that I must inform you of the tragic loss of one of our brightest students, Alithea Radon..."
Ferris's lungs skipped a breath. No. It couldn't be true. He’d seen the aftermath, the sealed-off lab, the hushed whispers of the officials. But he’d clung to a sliver of hope, a desperate belief that she’d somehow survived.
"...due to a laboratory accident involving radon gas," the dean continued, his voice wavering.
The words hit Ferris like a physical blow. He felt a wave of nausea, his vision blurring. He learned forward, grabbing onto the arm rests of his chair for support. The room seemed to tilt, the faces of his fellow students morphing into a distorted jumble if colors.
She’s gone.
The thought echoed in his mind, a cold, empty void. He’d never get to tell her how he felt, never get to see her smile again, never get to work alongside her again.
He remembered her eyes, the way they lit up when she talked about her experiments, the way she’d looked at him sometimes, a flicker of something he’d mistaken for friendship. Now he knew it was more.
He had been so blind. So stupid.
Days bled into nights, the lab a constant reminder of her absence. He found himself staring at her empty workspace, her notes scattered across the desk, her experiments half-finished. He imagined her voice, her laughter, the way she’d always challenged his assumptions.
One afternoon, he had been in the laboratory, working through lunch when he saw a book lying on the teacher's desk. It looked a bit weathered, but looked usable.
He opened it and had barely started on the first few words when a piece of paper fell out and onto the ground. He bent down and picked it up, his curiosity getting the better of him as he read it. He didn't even need to look twice to know - it was Alithea's. But what he didn't believe was that it was meant to be for him.
"Ferris," it read, "I know I don't always say it, but I enjoy our time together. You make me think, and you make me laugh. I've been... wondering... if maybe there could be something more between us. But I'm afraid. Radon has made me afraid. Maybe when this next experiment with those colorful salts is over, we can talk."
Ferris's heart clenched. She’d felt it too. She’d wanted the same thing. But he’d been too slow, too hesitant. He’d let his fear hold him back, and now it was too late.
It was really the last of his thoughts, but the words 'colorful salts' really stuck to him. The last experiment she did was... well, the radon one. The salts were from the beginning of the year.
She never gave it to him. He knew her well. She was scared too. They were too slow.
Tears streamed down his face, blurring the ink on the page. He crumpled the note in his fist, a sob escaping his lips. He’d lost her. And he’d lost his chance. He could never forgive himself.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
