Part 3: Lust
What is a human being without passion?
Beauty and love are connected in many ways. We are attracted to the things we find beautiful and desire that which is attractive. But love doesn't always have to be part of the equation. Sometimes it's an intense longing, a craving so deep you can feel it in your bones. Call it hedonistic, but it isn't always as bad as people make it out to be. After all, what's wrong with wanting to feel good?
Belladonna Lacivia. That's my name. Well...not exactly. It was my stage name back when I was a human. It hasn't been that long since I died but I've always had horrible memory so I wouldn't be able to tell you my actual name even if I wanted to.
"Bell, the chief needs you in the conference room!"
"Coming!"
It was just my luck that I ended up working as the chief's secretary. He's a handsome man. I like him because he always gives me what I want.
"Ah, there they are." He looked up from the desk and smiled when he saw me come in.
His smile was never warm like that of a lover's. It was always devious and calculating, but I was captivated by it.
"You needed me, Mr. Asmodeus?"
"Yes, we need you to settle a matter for us. As you know, the departments of Greed and Envy depend on our succubi and incubi to instill desire in people. However, there has been an increase in cases of individuals who lack the sexual drive needed for them to do their jobs. We were just discussing other options with which we could influence them. You were human not too long ago, what's your opinion on the matter?"
"Hmm..." The others seated around the table grumbled, clearly not happy to see me, but Asmodeus kept his eyes fixed on me. "Our Succubi and Incubi are talented when it comes to drawing out sexual desire, but as you said, not everybody is into that. But they appear to people in the form of whoever it is they desire most right? It doesn't have to be a romantic or sexual partner. What do most people want?
A friend?
Family?
Instead of assuming what they want is sex, why don't we train them to figure out what exactly the individual lusts after the most?"
Asmodeus tapped his chin. "Hmm...sounds reasonable. We just have to draw out their longing for other things yes? That's simple enough. It should work well with the folks over in the Greed and Envy department too."
One of the managers piped up. "NONSENSE! If we forsake our policies then what will become of the department of Lust?"
"But it's not like we're doing that for everyone right? It's just the people who don't seem to have any sexual desires."
The managers bickered amongst themselves like children. Asmodeus tapped on the table, clearly getting bored. His eyes travelled up towards me. His lips curved into a smirk when he locked eyes with me. Reaching out, he gently pulled on my fingers, guiding me to sit down on his lap. The feeling of his lips idly kissing along my shoulders lit a fire in me that was becoming increasingly difficult to extinguish.
I melted against him, unable to resist. Everyone was too busy arguing to notice us anyway....everyone except for one person. One particular manager sat still, eyes focused so intently on us, that I thought he was going to melt a hole in my head.
Valentino.
Oh, how he despised me. I learned this rather early on in my employment here. He was as cruel and selfish as Asmodeus himself. Of course, this quickly earned Valentino a place as one of his favourites. Asmodeus was a charming man and he always knew how to get what he wanted. He was the object of desire for many, but unfortunately for them, one person was never enough to satisfy him. When I was taken in and immediately became his personal secretary, it didn't sit well with a lot of people. Most of them knew not to mess with his pets, but Valentino was different.
Valentino may have been his subordinate but he was considered his equal among everybody in the department. That meant Valentino could openly show his hostility towards me without so much as a slap on the wrist.
"Ahem. I think we're done for today. I can't stand to hear your ridiculous bickering anymore. Everyone out," commanded Asmodeus.
Everyone moved to leave, still arguing in hushed tones. I shifted on his lap, attempting to leave as well but was held firmly in place.
"Not you."
His tone brought a blush to my cheeks. It was hard to restrain myself when it came to him.
"Asmo, I need to speak with you for a moment." Valentino, who remained behind, had his hand on his hip. "It won't take long."
Asmodeus stopped what he was doing and looked at him. His eyes echoed the wanting in Valentino's making me burn with jealousy. He lifted me off of his lap and let me fall into one of the empty chairs.
"Oh, I'm sure that's what you tell yourself, Val. Why don't you say what you need to say here then?" He flashed a challenging grin in Valentino's direction.
"This is hardly the right place or time."
Asmodeus shrugged. "When is it ever?"
"You know I prefer our...talks to be in private."
Asmodeus chuckled, standing from his seat at the head of the table and making his way over to Valentino.
"We both know that's a lie, but since you're so desperate for my attention I'll humour you just this once."
He snaked a hand around Valentino's waist and pulled him in close.
"In exchange, I trust you'll make it worth my time yes?"
Valentino smiled triumphantly. "I always do."
The pair left me alone in the conference room seething with a jealousy you would think that I'd have gotten used to by now. I sighed, leaning back into the seat. He wasn't always this dismissive of me. I'd be lying if I said there weren't times where it made me angry enough to quit, but that's easier said than done.
When one makes a deal with the devil, they aren't allowed to simply quit.
16 Years Ago
The music that bounced off the walls of the club was gritty and slow with a distinct undertone of heat. It didn't take much to get lost in the rush. I almost forgot about the crowd in front of me as my body twisted around the pole. Hungry eyes leered at me relentlessly, examining every inch of me as I danced.
How long had I been doing this? When did it even start? I don't quite remember. I was never one to stay committed to anything for long, so for now, this was but another fleeting fascination of mine.
I glanced down, maintaining a sultry smile and was met with the same needy gazes, the same wanton expressions that I had seen many times before.
It began to bore me.
The desire in their eyes was very evident. I guess it didn't matter if a man or woman was standing in front of them. Either way, they'd light up like animals in heat. Although part of me had a sneaking suspicion that many of them weren't sure if I was a man or woman, to begin with. I'm pretty androgynous but the last time I checked, I do in fact have a ——.
Either way, I made up my mind that tonight would be my last night here. At least, that's what I thought before a figure in the distance caught my eye. The light was dim and amongst the crowd, I was only able to see the dark fabric of his suit as he walked in with his friends. I pushed myself further from the pole to try and catch another glimpse of him and to my surprise, he was already looking at me.
He pulled off his shades when we locked eyes. My mouth felt dry as I pried my gaze away from his. It must have been the music because it found some kind of opening in me and wandered under my skin, leaving behind a burning trail as I felt the man's gaze still on me.
Needless to say, I put a little extra effort into my routine that night. The crowd went wild with cheers. The man's gaze was so intense that even after it was over and I slipped into the back room to get changed, it still felt like he was watching every move I made. I was pulled out of my trance by the booming voice of one of my co-workers.
"Nice job out there today Bell! I haven't seen you work the pole like that in ages!"
I turned to face her, slightly annoyed that she shook me from my fantasies. "Thanks...by the way...did you happen to see a man out there with the deep red suit and black hair? Came in with a group of at least four people, real tall and sharp looking? Do you know where he is right now?"
She scoffed at my question. "Do you know how many people are packed in here? There's no way I'd be able to spot one dude in this crowd."
I turned around and finished changing. She was right. There's no way I was going to waste my time looking for him either. With a sigh, I slung my bag over my shoulder and shimmied out the side door. It was late into the night by now, or rather early in the morning?
The cool breeze ghosted over me as I stepped down the stairs and into the alleyway next to the club. Reaching into my pocket, I rummaged around to find my earphones when the distinct smell of smoke drifted into my nose. I lifted my head to see the source of the smoke staring right back at me.
He was leaned against the wall with one hand in his pocket and a cigarette in between the fingers of the other. Dark strands of his hair ever so slightly fell into his face when he tilted his head towards me.
"Done for the night?" His voice was smooth and crisp, only adding to the paralyzing feeling he gave me.
I shrugged. "Should have gotten here earlier if you wanted to see more."
He didn't respond and I continued to walk. He watched me walk all the way past him, but before I could round the corner, the sound of his voice stilled me yet again.
"You do private shows?"
I glanced back, my heart pounding in my chest. "They're pricey."
The man smirked, finally looking away. "Money is not an issue. Unless...you're not available right now."
Right now? It wasn't like I hadn't gone home with random dudes from the club before but this was the first time the idea was so casually proposed to me that I couldn't curb the surprise in my expression. Glancing back through a window in the club, I could see the people he came with laughing and drinking inside.
"You're just gonna ditch your friends?"
The man sighed, dropping the cigarette and snuffing it out on the pavement before striding up to me with a grin. "They're just some co-workers. They're too noisy for me anyway. It's not like they'll mind."
Before I could formulate another thought, the words were already dancing from my lips. "Alright then, let's go."
The man smiled and took hold of my wrist. It was like a magnet. I felt something hot rush into my veins and for one foolish second, I stop resisting the pull, letting him whisk me away into the night.
Almost a week had gone by since my tryst with the mysterious man in the blood-red suit. Every day since then I returned to my usual shift at the club in the hopes of getting to see him again. So much for that being my last night there. I remembered the night so clearly that it felt like his hands were still on me.
The warmth of his flesh.
The sound of his moans.
I couldn't forget, not that I wanted to.
Unfortunately, I never did run into him again. However, I had been getting very...vivid dreams of that night. It plagued me endlessly. I was sure it would drive me mad with longing.
"Do you like what you see?"
"Beg for it."
The man's words echoed loudly in my ears each night I dreamt of him, almost as if to make sure I didn't forget.
One morning a knock at my door woke me from my sexually frustrated torment.
"––––, It's time for breakfast!"
A groaned, rolling out of bed, drenched in my own sweat and more exhausted than when I had gone to sleep. "I'll be out in a bit!"
I unenthusiastically got myself ready for the day and made my way down for breakfast. The light from the stained glass windows shone on the walls in vibrant colours. Just as I was about to turn the corner, I noticed a door to a room that was normally locked had been left open. I moved to close it but stopped in my tracks when I heard one of the nuns inside.
"They're beginning to look like their mother more and more each day. It's only a matter of time before someone makes the connection and they find out!"
Her voice shook in distress. I recognized it to be that of Sister Victoria's. She was a well-respected nun here. Quite close to the High Priest as well.
"Don't worry. As long as we're careful, they'll never have to know...we should have gotten rid of these things a long time ago," responded High Priest Stefano.
I had lived in this church for as long as I can remember. My mother abandoned me here, or so everyone says. I never had much of a reason to question it. It might sound harsh but I don't even miss her. How can I miss someone I don't know? Despite not having a reason to doubt them, I had a feeling their conversation wasn't something I should ignore.
I considered sticking around and eavesdropping a bit more but their approaching footsteps startled me and I stumbled back right as they exited the room. The High Priest was holding a stack of books. He looked like he had seen a ghost.
"––––! What are you doing over here? I thought you went to breakfast?"
"Oh uh...I heard voices so I wanted to see who was there. Since you always told me not to go near this room I was curious."
I glanced past the priest to peek inside. It looked like an ordinary room. On the bedside table was a photo of the priest with a nun.
Sister Victoria emerged from behind the High Priest and quickly shut the door. Nervous laughter escaped her as she stepped in front of me. "Ah, we were just cleaning out the place. It's been a while since anyone's been in here so it was a bit musty."
"Oh...okay."
They seemed to want to move on quickly. They pulled me away in such a hurry that I couldn't help but notice they had forgotten to lock the door. My presence there must have startled them enough to forget to do the one thing they were so strict with for all these years. I could see how desperate they were for me to not ask questions so I played along. Not to brag or anything but I'm good at giving people what they want.
I went about my day as usual. I had breakfast, helped out around the church a bit and watched as visitors came to pray. By the end of the day, I had successfully fooled everyone into thinking that I forgot all about what happened in the morning. Of course, that couldn't be further from the truth.
When everyone began winding down for the day, I got ready to sneak out as I had been plotting all day. I waited until the moon was high in the sky and everyone was sure to be asleep. Quietly shuffling through the corridor, I made my way back to the room they had so kindly left unlocked for me.
The door creaked open and a strong musty scent hit me. Dust covered almost everything despite their claim of having been cleaning this morning. It was like the room hadn't been used in years. Now free to look around, I was able to get a better look at that photo from before. The priest was smiling widely but the nun next to him didn't look all that thrilled to be in the photo with him.
I pulled open the drawer to the bedside table to find it empty. I opened up the other drawers to find more of the same. Is this what they were talking about? Getting rid of all those books?
I kissed my teeth in annoyance. How was I supposed to figure out what they were hiding now? In a fit of frustration, I kicked the dresser. To my surprise, the bottom part of one of the drawers fell open. I clawed at the edges to pull it off completely. Once removed, a hidden compartment was revealed. Inside were torn pages haphazardly strewn about. I picked one of them up and briefly, scanned the contents.
"To my darling ––––,
I don't know what will become of you but I have decided to write this in the hopes that it will one day come to help you.
Do not trust the High Priest. Do not believe in his lies. You must remain vigilant. His blood runs through you. You are my child as much as you are his."
....huh? I'm the priest's son? What....that doesn't make any sense....why would he say my mother abandoned me here then?
"I do not know what will happen to me if he discovers you. Should I leave you in this world by yourself, remember one thing. I love you dearly. If ever you need help, ask Sister Victoria. She is a dear friend of mine. The one who helped me hide my pregnancy with you all this time. You can trust her."
Sister Victoria? If that's the case maybe she would be able to give me answers then...but how to approach her without raising the suspicion of the High Pr—uh....my father? Whatever. Now is as good a time as any to talk to her.
I snuck through the halls to Sister Victoria's room. I raised my hand to knock on the door but froze when I heard noises inside.
I wasn't stupid.
I know what those sounds are.
"Ahh!"
"Mmph!"
"AAahn~"
"........For all your complaining, you still allow me in your bed."
"Don't think you're off the hook yet. I'm still upset with you."
"Because I approached her or because I had a child with her?" Asked the High Priest.
Sister Victoria sighed angrily. "Both! I would have never agreed to this whole thing if I knew the kid would end up looking exactly like her. It makes me sick."
"How long are you going to harp on this?"
I heard bedsheets shuffling. "I hid her away when she asked because you said you would send her away once she gave birth and we could be together. It was you who went back on your word."
"I had to kill her Victoria. She tried to run with the child and you know I need a successor. Isn't that why we decided I would seduce her? You can't give me a child so we had to use her instead. Isn't that right?"
I felt like throwing up. So much for her being a "dear friend" mom.
"Stop pouting now. Come, let me take your mind off things."
Sister Victoria giggled at the High Priest's words. A silent gag left me as I turned back down the hall. Why did she sound like a dying dog when she was getting railed? Is that what Stefano was into? Weirdo.
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't petty enough to make a stink over a woman I never knew121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzED6MibiKg
Buuuuuuut, I HATE being lied to. Stefano was keeping me around so I could be his successor right? Well, let's throw a wrench in his plans.
You would think someone who had been alive for 21 years would have accumulated quite a bit of things. But I didn't have much. I packed up my few belongings and121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtix5LvXhVK
wandered into the forest behind the church.121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdw9oSStab
I walked through the winding path until I found myself at the hidden gates to the secluded little graveyard at a corner of the town. It was a shortcut that led right to the entrance of the town.
Pushing past the brush, I began making my way down the lonely road that left the town. Every so often a car would pass by and I would stick my thumb out hoping for a lift. Was it impulsive to leave without a plan? Yes. But I said I wasn't petty enough to cause a fuss over a woman I never knew...not that I wasn't petty.
The sun had begun to peak over the horizon by the time a car was finally gracious enough to stop for me. As the window started to roll down, I put on my friendliest smile.
"Why hello the—YOU!"
A familiar deep chuckle drifted out of the window.
"Miss me?"
This prick ghosted me and has the audacity to finally show up after weeks for what? To laugh at me? I backed up as fast as I had skipped over and started power walking down the street. His car simply pulled up next to me and slowed down to match my pace.
"Don't be like that, baby."
"I'm not your baby."
"Well, I wasn't sure if you wanted to be called my whore outside of the bedroom so I settled for baby."
I rolled my eyes. "What do you want? Your new fling dump your ass?"
"I missed you."
Aaaand that was all it took for butterflies to erupt in my stomach. Part of me considered that he was just playing me but I was now a homeless runaway. I didn't have anything to offer him. The way he eyed me up and down like he was surveying goods betrayed that thought entirely.
"With how eager you are to run away, I assume I won't be meeting you anymore?"
"Not unless you take me with you."
"That can be arranged."
He smirked and I caught sight of the sharp teeth that had not so long ago been biting at the soft flesh of my neck.
"For a price?"
"Everything comes at a price babe."
"What's yours?" I asked.
His grin held nothing but the nastiest of undertones. "Come work for me at my club. In exchange, I'll give you a place to stay and make sure you've got everything you need."
I shuddered, staring at him for a moment, unsure of how to answer. What was it that I wanted? Something exciting? Was this it? Wish granted? I stopped walking. Maybe it was his face....or his voice.....or the sex....maybe all of the above, but if I could get more of it AND have everything taken care of for me then I'd be stupid to refuse.
"If you promise to make things exciting then you can do whatever you want with me until your sick and tired of it."
Another alluring smirk found its way onto his tempting lips. "Alright then. You've got yourself a deal."
But as they say, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Present Day
From the window, I could see Asmodeus getting into his fancy stretch limo with Valentino.
Today it was Val, tomorrow it will be someone else. He'll never be satisfied, but I'll still be here. Day after day. One taste is all it takes to become hooked. By the time you realize the addiction causing you to rot from the inside, it'll be too late. Nobody ever leaves.
"Ah, Bell! You're still here? I thought everyone left so I came to clean up."
I looked at the shy intern shuffling on his feet and then at the sad tent in my pants that Asmodeus had left me to handle all by my lonesome.
"No worries. You're new here right?"121Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8v0uoPpQ6
I took a seat in Asmodeus' chair. "Lock the door, I think introductions are in order."
I smiled as I watched the intern fumble with the lock before scrambling to her knees in front of me.
Asmodeus may never truly be satisfied with his partners but then again...neither will I.
"And thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on."
~Lord Byron
ns 18.68.41.148da2
