Part 2: Envy
Cheers and congratulations erupted in the office as soon as he stepped inside. I pinched the bridge of my nose, fighting back the head-splitting migraine I got as he approached my cubicle.
"Hey Verde! Lookin' miserable today too I see," Marcus grinned, leaning on the wall to my cubicle.
I glanced at the employee board and glared at his name decorated by a golden plate at the top of the list. Right below him was my bland silver plate that read:
Verde Invidia
"Forgive me if I'm not thrilled to lose my employee of the month position to a slacker like you."
"Aww, don't worry, I'm sure you'll get it next time!"
When his mocking laughter finally disappeared into his cubicle, I groaned. What was this, the 5th time in a row he beat me? It was becoming tedious. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't understand what was so special about him. He was never on time, his reports always had mistakes, I'm pretty sure he gets his buddies in management to give him special treatment too. Yet everybody looooved him. Like he was a bloody god in this damn office.
It's not like I can do anything about it either. The boss doesn't care as long as we meet our quota for the month anyway. Next month. Next month I would beat him if it's the last thing I do!
"Verde."
My head snapped up to the sound of a deep, muffled voice.
"B-Boss!"
Leviathan, the head of the department of Envy. He was a tall lanky man with deep, sunken eyes that remained obscured by his long braided hair most times. He always sounded like he was underwater when he spoke. It was disorienting because you could never tell which direction he was coming from. You would only ever hear ripples of his voice reverberating through the office, even when he was right next to you.
"What can I do for you!"
"It's your turn to manage the fountain. Get going."
Without another word, he slithered away into his office as if he would evaporate if he spent any more time outside. Gathering my things, I did as I was told. All eyes were on me as I stepped into the corridor leading to the fountain. My eyes caught Marcus' and he glared at me, presumably pissed that I was the one on fountain duty today and not him. Every employee would kill for fountain duty. It was our chance to show off by bringing as many souls as we possibly could in the short shift we were given.
I smirked at Marcus. It was satisfying watching his face twist with anger as I shut the door behind me. The sound of my heels clicking on the smooth marble floors was accompanied by the soft rising of bubbles. The tall glass walls of the corridor separated me from a glorious aquarium. At the end of the corridor were huge doors that lead into a small dark room. The only light it got was from the few rays of sun that filtered through the suspended ceiling of water.
At the center of the room was a platform surrounded by shallow waters. I stepped up onto the platform and right on cue, a coin dropped into the water in front of me.
"Please, grant me this wish!"
Looking up, I could see the blurry figure of someone clasping their hands in front of the fountain. Their weary prayer drifted down the fountain as a plea that echoed off the stone walls.
"Please let me get a good job! One that's even better than my brother's! Please let me get a job quickly so my parents never compare me to him again."
I picked up the coin and looked up into the water, seeing my eyes reflected back to me as they began to glow. "Your wish has been received."
The person flinched back, not expecting to hear my voice. I could vaguely make out their figure looking around to see if anyone else had heard but of course, they didn't. My words were only for them after all. I dropped the coin into a bin to be taken to the department of Greed just as another coin came bouncing down off the walls of the fountain.
Then another.
And another.
"Give me a lover that brings flowers to my work so I can show off!"
"I want a better car than the one my friend has!"
"Please get rid of my sister so I can get her room!"
One after the other wishes came tumbling down the well and one after the other, I was to grant them. Little did these people know, that once their wish was granted, their souls would be marked for collection. You see, the departments of Greed and Envy here at Morningstar Inc. work as a sort of collection sector. We depend on the folks over in Lust and Gluttony to drive people into acting on their desires, although sometimes a little extra convincing is needed on our parts. Then we collect the souls of all the wayward folks fortunate enough to make deals with us...knowingly or unknowingly and send our reports to the higher-ups in Pride. Sloth deals with the souls already here in hell and Wrath...well...they're a department to stand clear of unless you don't have a choice.
As "unethical" as you might consider some of our practices, the company runs a tight ship. With the number of sinners that come and go through our system, we don't have a choice.
Another coin plopped into the fountain.
"Please make my brother disappear so my parents will love me."
Poor thing...has no clue the gravity of the wish they just made...but I do. I know it a little too well. Why is that consequence is always an afterthought when we say these kinds of things? How strong does one's resentment have to be for them to abandon their morals? How cravenous must one be to wish harm upon innocents? These are the questions I often find myself asking beneath the fountain.
Maybe my soul hasn't quite let go of its humanity yet, despite being here for so long. Maybe that's why I always remember the things I wish I could forget when I'm down here.
200 Years Ago
My chest felt like it was going to cave in on itself with the way I was coughing so violently.
"Mom!" I cried.
My mother wiped the sweat off of my forehead. "It's alright Verde. You'll get better soon. Mommy and Daddy have to leave now."
"No! Don't go!"
"Verde," came my father's strict voice. "Don't be unreasonable. You know how much this trip means to your brother. We've already made arrangements. We can't cancel it now. You're the older sister, you should be more understanding."
"Your father's right. It's just a little cold. You'll be better in no time. If you need anything, call the servants okay?"
She didn't wait for my response, they never did. They simply said their goodbyes and left my room as if it were a given that I would agree with them. I could see them from my bedroom window as they got into a carriage with my little brother. He bounced around their legs excitedly as they helped him inside.
I wonder when it started.
The resentment I felt towards my brother, did I always have it? Who knows. When you're a kid, you're bound to feel a little jealous when you're parents give your siblings more attention right? Mother was right. I'm the older sister, I shouldn't make a fuss.
"Father, I was thinking that maybe we could all go on a picnic today!"
"Today? We can't. It's your brother's entrance ceremony at school today."
"I...I know but I just thought that since it's—"
"Enough! Don't be selfish Verde. You know how much it means that he's gotten into this school. You should be more supportive."
Once again, I was left alone as my father stormed out of his office. I glanced at his desk in disappointment. An assortment of photos sat in the corner. One of my mother, one of my brother and one of all three of them. It wasn't just here though. Throughout the house portraits of them were hung, yet I was nowhere to be found.
Was that normal?
To feel invisible in your own home?
But then again, he was the baby of the family, maybe my father was right. I shouldn't be so selfish. It's only a few photos after all...
Instead of going out with the family for a picnic, I got all dolled up and sat for hours in an uncomfortable chair watching my brother wave excitedly to us at his entrance ceremony.
Next year.
Maybe next year they'll remember and we can all go out to celebrate my birthday.
It wasn't like I didn't try. I always tried, but it was never enough. When I think of the events that led to this realization, a couple of memories come to mind. The first was when I went horseback riding with my brother.
"Alexio! Slow down! That's dangerous!"
Of course, he didn't listen. He continued to gallop with his horse and just as you would expect, lost control. His horse came running straight into mine, throwing us to the ground.
"AHH! MOM! DAD!"
Alexio cried and cried, screaming for our parents. Luckily for us, they had seen the collision and came running right over.
"Alexio! Are you alright?"
My mother dropped to her knees and cradled my brother in her arms. He continued sobbing. It hurt, sure, but I knew he wasn't injured. How did I know that? Well because I broke his fall. Alexio had fallen forward off of his horse and right on top of me, crushing my leg in the process.
"VERDE! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?"
"..."
My father continued to yell, taking my silence as some kind of defiance.
"YOU'RE THE OLDER SISTER! HOW CAN YOU BE SO RECKLESS?"
"Let's have a doctor take look at him. Come on."
My mother picked Alexio up and began walking away with my father. Neither of them cared enough to realize that my leg was broken. As I watched their retreating figures, it hit me.
My parent's affection was never mine.
And so the years went by and I retreated further into the recesses of my parent's minds. It was almost like I never existed in the first place. It was always the bright young Alexio and his unremarkable older sister. He was personally taught by my parents, I was taught by the nanny, he was praised for the smallest of achievements, I didn't receive so much as a smile when I graduated from the most prestigious academy in the country.
I had lost count of all the times my parents reminded me I was the older one so I should "be more responsible." It was insufferable. But I held on. I had convinced myself that if I just did exactly what they expected of me, they would finally acknowledge me, but everybody has a breaking point.
And on the eve of my coming of my brother's coming of age ceremony, I reached mine.
"What do you think of getting married Verde?"
"What?"
My father put down his fork and wiped his face with a napkin. "You're an adult of marrying age. I think it's time to start looking for a partner."
I laughed awkwardly. "But how can I manage the household if I get married off to another family?"
"Your mother and I have been thinking and we believe Alexio is better suited to be the heir."
I stopped eating. "B-But...I'm the eldest...you always say that. That I'm the oldest. Naturally, the heir has to be me right?"
My father breathed out a frustrated sigh. "Don't be greedy Verde, that's not how a young lady should act. Your brother has a bright future ahead of him. It would be a shame for him to waste that potential. You should be more supportive."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Any childish hope that I had clung to in the past was gone in an instant. But I knew this dance. No matter what I said or how I argued, they wouldn't hear me. So I did what I was taught to do.
"...Congratulations Alexio!" I abruptly stood up, eager to leave the dining room when I felt the warmth of tears beginning to form. "I'm not feeling well, please excuse me."
I didn't wait to be excused. As I hurriedly made my way out of the dining room I could vaguely make out my parents calling for me.
"Verde! What horrible manners."
"If she was that upset, all she had to do was speak up."
I slammed the door, all but running to my room. I clamoured onto my bed and crawled under the covers like a scared child. Clinging to my pillow, I began to wail.
I try so hard to be the perfect daughter for them, but it's never enough. My parent's love and affection, all of their attention, now even my birthright? How much more must he take from me? What have I been working so hard for if he's just going to get everything without even trying?
I didn't know how long had passed since I locked myself in my room, but I was too drained to care. With a tear-stained pillow and puffy red eyes, I drifted into a deep sleep that I briefly wished I wouldn't awake from.
The next morning an unexpected visitor came to my room.
"Alexio? What are you doing here?"
He held a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. "Get ready and meet me downstairs."
He ran off before I could say anything more. I didn't want to face anyone today, but since he technically hadn't done anything wrong yesterday, I figured it would be quite rude of me to simply brush him off. So I did as he wanted and met him in the foyer. He grabbed my hand and smiled warmly at me.
"Let's go quickly before someone sees us!"
I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't at least a little curious as to where he was so insistent on taking me. I didn't have to wait long to get my answer. He had run with me down to the pond. Extending his hand for me to take, he nodded towards the little boat he had prepared.
"Come on!"
For a while, we sat there in silence. The only sound between us was that of the morning birds chirping and the oars splashing in the water as he paddled us across the pond. The prolonged silence made me realize that I hadn't sat like this in front of my brother in quite some time. I could hardly remember the last time we had a chat just as siblings. Alexio shifted nervously in his seat. It was clear that the silence was beginning to make him feel uncomfortable.
"Don't you have to get ready for your coming-of-age ceremony soon?" I asked.
"Don't worry about that. They won't mind if I'm a little late."
Of course, they wouldn't. You could probably kill someone and they'd still find no fault in you. In fact, I'm sure it'd somehow become my fault.
"What did you bring me here for?"
"Well I...uh...I felt bad about yesterday. I didn't know they were going to make me the heir. I know it's not much but I remember you always wanted to go on boat rides together when we were younger so I thought I might take you on one to cheer you up."
Picnics. I wanted to go on picnics, not boat rides.
"Is that young master Alexio? Did he say he wanted to cheer her up?"
"How sweet, to consider such a thing, he's much more mature than his sister."
"Storming out so suddenly yesterday...even I was embarrassed for her parents. How could she act like that."
In the stillness of the early morning, our voices carried across the water and were clear to the servants working on the grounds. They seemed to think that if they whispered, we wouldn't be able to hear them like they had heard us.
"Don't listen to that nonsense Verde," said Alexio with an awkward smile. "They don't know what they're talking about."
"No? I'm sure mother and father would agree with them though. You're a bright young man."
He smiled brightly. "You think so too? Gosh, you're making me blush!"
I just barely managed to fight the urge to roll my eyes. Look at how weak this fool is to empty flattery. I suppose I can thank my parent's constant pampering for that.
"Of course, you'll serve a much greater purpose than me. All I'm good for now is getting married off right?"
Alexio's smile faded. Taken aback by my bitter tone, he stopped paddling. "You know they're just looking out for you. Father wants me to follow in his footsteps and become a capable man like him. You get to marry a good man and become a respectable madam like mother!"
I could tell that in his own dimwitted way he was trying to comfort me, but failing miserably. Or perhaps it was a ploy to seem like the perfect little angel that everyone always thought him to be.
"Ha. Is that so? Then I suppose when I have my children I should discard my eldest as well. Then I'll have become exactly like them."
Alexio began to raise his voice. This boy really should learn to control his temper. It's not right for a young man to act in such a way.
"How could you say that? They've always cared for you! You're the oldest, it's natural that you'd have to get married and move out first no?"
"Tell me, brother, what's it like to live in ignorance?" His face flushed red in anger but I continued. "You can't honestly tell me that you haven't been reaping the benefits of having mother and father fawn over you since childhood. Whenever you got so much as a scratch, it's my fault and not once have you ever tried to set things straight. No...you just sit there and watch them berate me every.single.time."
He averted his gaze, clearly too ashamed to look me in the eyes while he bumbled out a cheap excuse.
"You're a selfish rat. You're greedy and pathetic."
Alexio grabbed my shoulders harshly. "That's enough Verde! To think you would say such things! Have you gone mad?"
I could hear myself laughing. It was a wild, scornful laugh but it didn't feel like it was coming from me. "Maybe I have. So what? If I go mad will someone finally see me? Will someone finally hear me?"
It felt like I had front-row seats to someone else's argument, nothing felt real. Aexio slapped me hard across the face and yet I didn't feel a thing. It was like it was happening to another woman.
"Shut your mouth. I won't tell our parents about the things you've said today so please...just...shut your mouth."
"Oh I know you won't...let me ask you one last thing..."
Alexio frowned, clenching his fists. Was he nervous or angry? Maybe it was both. "What?" He replied coldly.
"If I die will they finally acknowledge me?"
I remembered everything that led up to the question...but why can't I remember his expression when I asked it?
"I hear the road to hell is rather lonely. It would be nice to have some company."
"V-Verde? What...what are you doing?"
"So you'll join me right?"
Without another word I grabbed Alexio by the collar and swung us over the side of the boat. Bubbles erupted in the water as he struggled to break free but I held on tight.
Finally.
I was finally going to have my way. He had stolen every precious moment from my past so it's only fair that I steal his future. No amount of fighting the water helped and his screams fell into the murky depths beneath us. It wasn't until a strange panic set in that my grip began to weaken. Perhaps it was my body's survival instincts kicking in but as I tried to pull him deeper, a part of me was simultaneously screaming to swim back up for air.
For a brief moment, my vision blurred as the thralls of unconsciousness called me. That moment was all Alexio need to break free. I reached out to grab him once more but he began kicking me in an attempt to push himself back up. By the time my vision went black, I could tell that he was already too close to the surface for me to reach.
A sharp pain pierced through me as my lungs began to fail. The last thing I remember was the soothing feeling of something wrapping around me.
"Child...it's time to wake up."
A muffled voice called to me, but it sounded like I was still underwater. Something cold slithered over my hand, making me realize I was not in the pond anymore. My eyes shot open. For a moment I thought I might have survived but when a large, slithering creature came into view, I realized that if I hadn't died yet, I soon would.
"Wha-what are you?"
"Leviathan."
Was that its name? "Where....is this?"
"My domain."
I looked around. Above us was a rippling ceiling of water. Leviathan's tall figure loomed over me, his long serpentine tail taking up most of the room. Realizing my discomfort, he chuckled. I watched as his shape began to change. The giant serpent that hung over me slithered and shifted into a tall, lanky man.
"Is this better?"
"What...how did...what happened?"
"You drowned and I collected your body. You're soul held too much resentment to pass on so I decided to watch over you until you awoke."
Memories of how I ended up in the pond slowly began to fill in the missing parts of the puzzle my disoriented mind was trying to solve.
"My brother! What happened to my brother?"
"Would you like to see?"
Leviathan took my hand and led me to a pool of water. He touched it and the water rippled in a mirror-like fashion. When it settled, it revealed my brother right after the incident. He had swam back up and frantically called for help, but when the servants came rushing to his side, he spewed a ridiculous tale.
"Verde jumped into the pond! I tried to save her but....but...hic."
As expected, everyone went out of their way to comfort him. My blood had long since run cold and yet I felt it burn upon watching him sob into my parent's arms like it was all he knew how to do.
"Do not fret, he is paying for his deceit."
Leviathan touched the water once more and the scene changed. Alexio looked much older now but it didn't look like the Alexio with a promising future, He looked exhausted. A woman, who I presumed was his wife, was walking with him passed the river near the village but he refused to any further down the path.
"Let's take another route..."
"What? Why? This way is quick—"
"NO. We're taking another path."
He grabbed her hand and began walking away.
"What happened to him?" I asked.
"He is lost in overwhelming fear each time he nears a body of water. Although on land, he is still drowning. Drowning in the guilt of having left you to die."
"Guilt? I don't believe it."
"Take a look."
The water rippled into another scene, seemingly much further into the future. Alexio looked old and haggard. The bags under his eyes told me that the helplessness he felt the day I tried to drown him stayed with him. He stood in front of a fountain with his hands in his pockets. He pulled a coin out and tossed it inside.
"To whatever being guards the afterlife, please look after my sister's soul."
As he clasped his hands, I could vaguely make out the engraving on a small silver plate in front of the fountain.
"In honour of Verde Invidia, a sister taken too soon. May she rest in peace."
"What the—"
"He built the fountain in your honour, perhaps in an attempt to ease his guilt."
The scene faded into the pool and Leviathan took me by the hand once more. He lead me down a long glass tunnel, at the end of which was a small dark room. Shallow waters surrounded a platform at the center of it.
Leviathan pointed up. I looked to where he was pointing and froze. Far above me, separated by a long well of water was Alexio standing with his head down and hands clasped. I heard Leviathan slither into the water and pick something up.
"Your wish has been received."
Present Day
So here we are Alexio. 200 years later and I'm still beneath this damn fountain. Maybe I'm the pathetic one. As desperate as you were to forget, you still got to go out looking like a perfect little brother.
Fewer and fewer coins fell into the fountain, signaling the end of my shift. I stepped off the platform and as I had done hundreds of times before, marched down the glass tunnel to write my reports for the day.
Wherever Alexio ended up when his soul was collected...I hope he's still eating shit.
"So being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy."
~Egdar Alan Poe110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjda2WVBLq
