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I always tried to keep space between us as if the space between could render me incapable of love, heartless even, stop me from loving you, protecting my shielded heart. I wanted the space between to maintain my fear of love; because I’m sure from the moment I met you I knew I could love you. With just a taste of you, I thought you could change my fear so I maintained our space.
You entered my mind like you had cast a spell and under it’s affects my walls had already fell. I was afraid to look your way because I knew I would be compelled, utterly compelled to hold my gaze. My priority was to understand you more, oblivious to what was stirring inside of me. I memorised each trace of you, each motion you took, each symphony blues. I saw a glimpse of you which was me too. Then I knew I wanted to change the space I made between us.
I often think what we fear is more than what we need to face as we don’t yet feel ready to face, questions we don’t want to ask ourselves, what we don’t want to doubt, what we want to avoid, what we don’t want to be true and vulnerable about, what we don’t feel good enough to want.
And in my futile attempts to not love you I lost the love I found and it’s become lost time.
~ In Awe ~
Date Originally Created: March 4th 2023
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ns 15.158.61.21da2
