I laughed in his face.
Now, I know what you might be thinking. Hold up, why is she laughing in front of the Joker? The most horrible villain there ever was?
"You know, Mr J, I always did like clowns." I smirk.
Really? Trying to cut my wrists and throw me off a balcony? So cliché. At least be original if you're going to try to scare a girl who has been through hell and back.
He glares at me, his scarred mouth almost curving downwards, though that's impossible. How can he still move his mouth?
Shut up, Alex, shut up.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUmp5blZCo
But my brain refuses to cooperate, and so my mouth keeps on giving me away.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzARhYOjxO
"So, let's recap, shall we? You kidnapped me from Batman, tried to cut my wrists, failed, tried to throw me off a balcony, failed again-"
"STOP SPEAKING!" He roars at me, beyond angry.
I completely shut up, but I don't flinch. Why should I? He leans closer to me, his mouth now grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"I am going to break you, Alex Wayne, whether you like it or not. You will go crazy and I will enjoy breaking you very much."
"I don't think you will, because I won't be scared." I snort.
He bellows in frustration, gets up and leaves the room. I shrug. Batman always said he was horrid company anyway. After all, I'm not a massive fan of insane people keeping me company. I would go insane myself.
Suddenly, I hear voices coming from behind me. Voices with an almost ethereal quality, like one would hear in movies or Ghostbusters.
"Come to us, Alex. Come to us."
I frown. Really, Joker? Trying to scare me by a bunch of sound effects? It's not like ghosts actually exist. I can't believe he's trying to scare me like that.
As I fumble in my pocket, trying to see if I had one object that could guarantee me leaving scot-free, I suddenly cut my finger. I wince, and realise that I have a knife in my pocket.
"Stupid Bruce. Why so protective of your little sister?" I huff, thinking about my superhero of an older brother.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hcPKUjj48
I manage to grab the knife and pull it out, cutting the ropes off of my wrists. There are still angry red marks from how badly the circulation was cut off, but I can feel them.
Thank the Lord.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPzt645pKZ
I get up, on my tip-toes, trying to be cautious so no one can hear me or see me. I twist the doorknob, open the door and am met by the sight of a Frankenstein wannabe.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LOmiW5ePE
Well, a rather good wannabe. Whoever is playing it has the stitches and the weird colouring and the limp and the ugliness that Frankenstein has in the movies. I could almost believe it, if it were not for my cynical nature.
"Who the hell are you?" I demand.
The Frankenstein impersonator stares at me, as if not quite believing that I saw through his act. He blinks, once, twice, before taking a step towards me, growling like an animal.
I roll my eyes, and cross my arms.
"Hello? We aren't in a haunted house, last time I checked. We're in the Joker's lair. And I don't know what the hell you're doing, but if you're trying to scare me, it's failing, badly."
The creature/human with makeup blinks at me, trying to understand why I'm not buying his act.
"B-But I'm Fr-Frankenstein," he stutters, confused.
"You're obviously not. Just because I'm fifteen does not mean I'm gullible. Now, go home to your momma and I'll pretend to forget that I saw you in ugly makeup, Jester Quinn." I snarl, recognising who it is.
Who else but the Joker and Harley Quinn's amazing son?
The boy blinks, and growls at me again, before leaving dejectedly. I sigh, rolling my eyes yet again. How predictable is this family?33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJm73l3ok1m
I casually walk out, hoping that no one will see me so I can catch a bus home or something. No need to cause a scene.
Just as I was beginning to believe what I was telling myself, that I'd be going home safely, I step onto a creaky floorboard. I stare at it, confused.
"What the hell is a floorboard doing here? I thought the Joker was rich enough not to have floorboards." I grumble.
The floorboard suddenly moves, and I step off, curious. It moves and moves, until I recognise the familiar trap.
"Booby trap." I groan, facepalming.
It wasn't even a good one. Around a hundred spiders came crawling out, and after them a ghostly hand appeared, and then two. I let one particularly big tarantula crawl onto my shoulder whilst tapping my foot in impatience.
"Well? If you're a ghost, might as well come out now." I jeer.
The ghost clumsily rolls out from their hiding place, dressed in a large ghostly white costume with two small holes for the eyes and one larger hole for the nose. The eyes are blue, and have an insane quality to them.
"Alex Wayne. This is your death." A woman's voice comes out a bit muffled from the costume, but I still recognise the unusual timbre.
"Harley Quinn. I just sent your husband and son packing. I don't want to do the same." I retort.
She stares at me, looking extremely angry. How easily do clowns get pissed? Or maybe it's just insane clowns that do. I'm happy I'm a Wayne and not a Quinn or God knows the Joker's real last name.
"Then I will have no choice but to send the evil spirits to kill you!" she cries in an very dramatic way.
"Ooh, spirits? Where?" I say, feeling all giddy.
This is my dream come true. A bunch of horror related things in one day. I feel like a real ghostbuster now.
She frowns, but continues her act, and around twenty people dressed in a similar ghost costume all come running towards me with swords and axes. I laugh.
"Great meeting you, Joker's henchmen. But I'm afraid our acquaintance will have to be cut short." I grin.
They all stop, and stare at each other, unsure of what to do. They then stare at Harley, as if looking towards her for an answer.
"Well, what are you doing?! Go and kill her!" she screams.
They shrug, and charge. I roar with laughter as half of them trip themselves up with the oversized costume, and the other half stop again, this time helping their colleagues up. Harley Quinn stomps her foot and practically cries in frustration.
I smile, looking at all the chaos that the clowns brought up on themselves.
"Next time, Quinn, you'll remember that nothing scares Alex Wayne. Especially not some wannabes playing at being scary." I scoff, before jumping out of a window and towards my freedom.
I land on the sidewalk smoothly, and dust myself off. All this horror thing was pretty fun, especially Jester Quinn dressed in a Frankenstein costume. Why is that kid so hot in that costume?
My stomach growls, and I grin.
Where is the nearest Starbucks?
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