A/N This issue does have some patois/ Jamaican creole, but the translations are at the bottom.
***
When I was in high school, I distinctly remember being the odd one out. I was the last one to get a boyfriend or girlfriend, the last one to have sex. In fact, I didn't lose my virginity in high school; I lost it at university.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXD4lVpR2p
I remember the first time that I saw an erection. It was in fifth form, and in extreme desperation, on the verge of pissing myself, I rushed into the closest bathroom — a boys' bathroom. In my haste, I didn't bother to knock on the stalls, because understandably, I assumed that the door would be locked if someone was in there. I aggressively forced the door of the first stall open, only to find a sixth former masturbating with ferocity behind it. I remember seeing it: it was long, and big, standing proudly away from his body, curving upwards.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22FSvLcuHq
I was fascinated.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbNQYKV6q4
Needless to say, I've seen countless erections since then. University does that to you. Additionally, I was in a relationship for three years up until very recently, and sex came as a part of that. However, when I saw that man's covered erection yesterday, it stirred something within me, something that surprised me.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RwiPAVR9w
I was aroused. He wasn't even naked, and I have no idea who he is, but I was hot all over for this man. I haven't even revealed it to anybody and I'm embarrassed. That is part of the reason as to why I have not left my hotel room. HIs room is situated right across the hall from mine, and I don't think I can look him in the face without having the strong urge for the ground to open up and swallow me. The other reason is that I simply don't want to socialise with anybody. Those two things combined have me lying sprawled across the white comforter of my bed, ordering room service that I can't afford.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv7TCjRtUU
“Please, hurry up,” I demand, speaking sternly into the land line as my stomach growls. “I'm starving.”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfK3bzIY1p
“You know, miss,” the receptionist begins her reply while chewing her gum loudly, “it would be a lot quicker if you went downstairs and got the breakfast yourself. And, it's all-all-inclusive.”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPg88a9oNZW
I'm well aware that it's all-inclusive, I'm tempted to hiss at her. My bank account is suffering because of that very fact.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lSRFuET5B
“How long will the food take, do you think?” I rub my silk-covered stomach as it growls again.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRT58q1jdM
“Twenty minutes to half an hour.”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjU24oiRCAH
Fuck.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ln3z81P8r
That basically means an hour, going by Jamaican time. I can't wait that long. At the same time, I. don't know if I can bring myself to leave my room. Now, I'm faced with the depressing dilemma: go outside and possibly face this mystery man, or stay in here and starve. Both options seem grim, from my point of view.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtXoS02NtM
“Miss?” the receptionist’s voice floats over the phone, as she probably wonders if I am still there. Just as she speaks, my stomach growls yet again, making up my mind for me.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc49FatcO8p
“It's okay, love,” I find myself saying to her. I'm lying. It's not okay. “I’ll just get it myself.” Without giving her a chance to reply, I hang up the phone, slamming it a little bit too hard onto the receiver. If my fate were not decided before, I definitely know it now. With a heavy heart, I roll off of the uncomfortable, squeaky mattress, standing on my bare feet. You would think that with all of the money that I'm spending, they'd give me a better bed. The silk-like polyester material feels unnatural against my skin. I've always preferred the more natural texture of cotton, but my sister always gives me these as gifts, and for some reason, I feel obligated to wear them. Gently, I slide the straps off of my shoulders and let the night gown fall to the floor. The sight of my naked body in the mirror makes me wonder just how long it will be until my next fuck.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRSAmhiZgs
Quickly, just go through the motions of getting ready, and before I. know it, I'm standing in front of my front door, ready to go outside. Standing in front of the door, unable to open it and face whatever is on the other side, I feel like a coward. But like most women, nothing can stand between my food and I.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4oFEnrjyD
When I open the door, his door his locked and the hall is empty. Thank god. Quickly, I skip down the bright, yellow hallway on the golden carpet and mash the elevator button at the end. It feels like a lifetime as I wait for the lift to arrive, the different floors showing in the bright red display at the top. As I await the elevator, I think about the food that awaits me downstairs.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ec7HdCIDJ
Maybe they have waffles... or omelets...
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnXH7RtW5K
As I bounce impatiently on my feet, I'm so preoccupied by my thoughts that at first, I don't detect the drastic shift in the air.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYVSkMdH8z
I sense someone behind me, and somehow, I know that it's him, the man with the arousing erection. He draws hearer and nearer, the force of his aura growing stronger, but I don't dare turn around. The wait is agonising, but finally, finally it arrives. I practically fall into the metal box, the closing doors the only protection that I have against him. Except that when I turn around, the silver doors aren't closing, quickly enough, and he's drawing closer, a sexy smirk on his face handsome face that for some reason makes my clit swell. Going into a panic, I mash the button to close the doors, locking him out. Relaxing slightly, I exhale heavily in relief. The last thing that I see before the doors close is him kissing after me, accentuating his cupid’s bow,which just about causes my heartbeat to just about jump out my chest.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajGdrtnyQD
As the elevator descends, it does nothing to steady my heartbeat, and my arousal is once again replaced by shame, but is this time accompanied with a touch of anxiety. I can't believe that I've let someone who I do not know have so much power over me. What is it about him that is so special? Maybe it's the way that he smirks at me, as if he's up to absolutely no good. Maybe it's the way that his body looks, as if crafted by God himself specifically for the purpose of pleasure. Maybe it's the size of his dick. It could be anything.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwC32FF62G
Leaning back against the elevator, my turquoise sundress hugging my midsection, I look to the ceiling and stare at myself in the mirror. I look like hell. The hunger and suffering, as well as anxiety is plane on my face. An anxiety that I'm all too familiar with. I look like hell. I feel like hell. For a second, I try to remember whether or not I took my medication.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxlPVLjAYP
“Fuck,” I whisper, realising that I didn't. I'm such an idiot. I can't afford to fuck up like this. I consider going back upstairs to take my medication, but I decide that I'm just too hungry. I close my eyes and lean my head back against the wall of the elevator. I guess I'll just have to do it when I get back to my room.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpMBq9LrwD
As the elevator doors burst open, letting me out of my metallic sanctuary, the first thing that hits me is the smell of food. It's strong, overpowering even, causing my mouth to fill with saliva. Unfortunately, since I am not a dog, I cannot simply follow the scent. The second thing that hits me is the sight of the crowd. They don't even bother me, because the third thing that I notice is that many of them are carrying plates of food, which means that they can help me. Red flip flop clad feet I stop a woman whose plate is filled with eggs and sausages, trying my best to not make it blatantly obvious that I am eye fucking her food.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrSnPJC62j
“Uh, excuse me,” I begin, placing my hand on her shoulder, as I try not to allow any drool to escape my mouth. “Where is the food?”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8INoJKloI5
“In the dining room.” Her north American accent is thick, as her blue eyes stare pitifully into mine. Definitely a tourist. My cheeks burn with embarrassment as I realise that I probably look like one of those starving children in those UNICEF commercials. “Follow me.I'll take you there.”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMK6kwX6blZ
With the plate still in her hand, she leads me through the crowd of people, her blonde ponytail swishing with every step. My stomach is now constantly rumbling, and we're it not for the low crowd, she would definitely hear it. I walk through an array of turns and twists, the smell of food getting stronger, until I see it. A buffet of food so big that I am momentarily confused.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5zsBD9C9o
“Here we are,” she chirps with a bright smile. I want to thank her, but I am afraid that if I speak, drool will escape my mouth. So instead, I just nod with gratitude, and smile with my mouth closed. She returns it, before leaving me to eat my weight in food.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoxWw9xZzM
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSUGMIVgjy
***
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczNDfRpLD7
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5jANb0RFJ
Hunger has a special way of making someone greedy.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjZQdQyOI7
I picked up far too much food, needing a second plate, and I'm struggling to hold them both as I search for a seat. How ironic it is that I finally have the food, but I can't eat it because both my hands are full. That's what good Samaritans are for, though, because just as I'm about to dispose of my pride in the nearest rubbish bin by sitting on the floor in the centre of the crowded dining area, someone takes a plate from me, giving me one free hand. Therefore when I pick up the fork on the plate and stuffing my face, I have some pride left. However, at some point, it occurs to me that for a stranger to walk up to me and take my plate, it is... odd. My mouth still stuffed with food, I look up slowly.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7FddD0gJk
I should have seen it coming, but I have no sense of irony.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MkLXN1wzI
“Babes,” he purrs. From most men, often times on the side of the street, that word is oddly disgusting.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgFPwzkvjH
“Babes, beg yuh a piece, nuh?”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnZ9OZwCGP
“Babes,beg yuh a fuck, nuh?”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbmUEHnRKs
“Babes, yuh pum pum look well fat inna yuh shorts.”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58aDOgs4p3
But coming from his lips, it sounds like the most beautiful chord from the worlds greatest symphony.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwidL6lfdD7
“Why yuh haffi gwaan suh?”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzQfLZHIX2
He sounds just as Jamaican as I am. His voice is smooth, like warm honey pouring over me. It's beyond erotic. Not that I'd ever tell him that.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKPUl5L6ZY
“Like wah?”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVX3OlhHs7
“Like seh mi a go hurt yuh. I don't torture people, you know.”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSIyKbcATC
Now that I think about it, I probably did look like an idiot running from him this morning. Most people would have said “Hi”, and continued with their day.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1FtugiGOg
“I never thought you did.”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd1JSIy5iI
He rolls his eyes at me, then looks around for a second, his angular eyes scanning the wide area. I take the time to admire his sharp face, his sculpted lips, his perfectly matted skin. He's not god-like, but for some reason, he makes me wet.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLhqukRIOg
“There's only one table left,” he says, using his chin to point to a green metallic table in the corner.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0o0uwghvB
Fuck.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRDuOUizbH
I could always go to my room.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4VBdY365x
I don't want to embarrass myself anymore, though. Nor do I want to offend him. After all, he only did some light flirting, and in his mind, it's no reason for me to shit myself. I am shitting myself, though. Figuratively, of course. I can't even begin to explain what is happening to me in literal terms.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNqocOL3Qq
Don't be a pussy, Diamond. Don't do it.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAM8nAwHslX
“Alright,” I agree shakily. “Let's eat.”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2Y9D3NGZt
Hearing the cowardice in my voice, he looks at me in concern.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgaY3I9hT4
“Yuh good, babes?”
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVujkq1vCe
There he goes calling me babes again.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9C12bxMFR
“Yeah,” I squeak, my voice a tad to high to be considered convincing. He nods, pretending to believe me, but from the unnatural silence that he maintains as we walk to the table, I can tell that he is far from convinced.
***
TRANSLATIONS:
yuh — you
Why yuh haffi gwaan suh? — Why do you have to be like that?
Babes, beg yuh a piece, nuh? — Babes, can I have sex with you?
Babes, beg yuh a fuck, nuh? — Babes, can I fuck you?
Babes, yuh pum pum look well fat inna yuh shorts. — Babes, your pussy looks fat in your shorts.
Like seh mi a go hurt yuh. — As if I will hurt you. 777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7h9OgZqtw
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNDKDCG5ub
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4fcsjcKK0
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDWurzyhan
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6jtguUJkE
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIzPIB3Ldg
ns 15.158.61.16da2 
