On hearing the click of the latch unlock, he stops mid step and turns around. A sense of relief washes over him on seeing my familiar face , and he props up on one knee with wide open arms, beckoning me for a hug. I accept the much needed and invited hug, and hold on to him tight, like dear life, silently promising to myself to never let go. Though the very core of my being knew that was not possible and I try one last time to appeal to him, with a conviction I did not feel.
"Please...please...please don't go...please.. stay", I mutter between sobs , as loud as my voice would go. I could feel myself shatter, being held together only by the force of his hug. "Please Daddy", I say, completely in waterworks now. "Hey", he says softly, wiping the tears that now flowed like the Nile. Despite his best efforts, I could see the pain that he was trying to mask, and behind that calmness I saw a heartbroken shadow looming by. "You know I have to". He said to me, seeming to draw as much strength from my hug as I was from his. I knew that I was defeated, and mustering all the courage I had, I said the hardest words I ever had to say, "I know. You have to go. I have to be kind enough to share my Daddy". Surprised by the precocious child that had seemed to have taken over me, he pulled the hair back from my face , and wiped the tears off again. "Will you be alright?". He asked. 'Will you be alright?' ... These were not words, they were emotions expressed through words, anxiety, fear, care, love , worry , sadness . Emotions finding their voice through words.
But there is only so much words can do to voice raw emotions. Sometimes the only emotion words can voice is assurance, to the other person. "I'll be alright ", I say as bravely as I can, keeping my voice as stable as possible. "I'll be fine", I say again, this time more to assure me than him.
He releases me from his warm grasp, and I'm already longing for him to hug me again. He stands up back on his two feet, and my mother appears carrying his army cap, she too besides herself. After wiping my mother's and my tears again , my mother hands me his army cap. I put the cap on his head, positioning it perfectly , and stand taller than I ever have before, or ever will. My Dad was going to make sure that other children my age had living parents, and other parents had merry children , spreading more happiness than anyone could ever dream of. And without question. For one , and for all. That is my father, and he makes me walk in the streets with my head held high . He is my father, and I'm proud of him and all father's of his like.
Once we had composed ourselves, mom brought out the tripod stand and we clicked our last family picture. It was the most beautiful one...
I say as I look at that familiar framed family photo , quite eroded by time. Time couldn't erode what was strongly etched in my memory though, and never will. I pull my attention back to the mike in front of me, already noticing many moist eyes in the crowd. "Two weeks later, a flag came back...". I lose my composure, and turn away from the mike to quickly wipe my tears. My voice wavering , I say , " I never knew he was leaving us for this long".
"A lot of my classmates turned 18 recently. That day, I transformed. I transformed from a nine year old innocent girl to an eighteen year old precocious child" I pause, unsure how much longer I could go on.
"Today I would like to dedicate my graduation speech to him, my Dad, who I shared with everybody. I know that he is up there watching me, smiling through his teeth as his princess completes her graduation with flying colours. And I would like to end with a few words to my Dad". I stare up at the sky, and under the bright light of the sun, I spot a distant star. Keeping my eyes fixated to the star , I begin, " Most nine year olds hope that their Dad is some kind of secret superhero.Batman , Superman, Spiderman. Very few have the privilege of having one. Thank you Dad. You are , and always will be, my and everyone else's secret superhero. I love you and am proud of you. And the universe tells me that you are proud of me too". I tear my gaze away from the star, look at the mike , and then at the photograph. I spot my Mom in the crowd , all teary . I notice a beautiful shine in her eyes that I had not seen since Dad left, and I know she is proud of me too. As she mouths the words ' I love you ' at me, and as the crowd breaks into a synchronized standing ovation , I feel a wave of emotions wash over me. Afraid of crying onstage , I quickly grab the photograph and skimper down the backstairs. I look again at the sky, and I could swear I saw the star wink at me.
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