這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgVcSbyY7T
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0WButfp4O
作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoA1ZgQ91o
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aMHblbMiB
女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yPoX0E3ar
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgwYUfpstx
可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNioxpyxaA6
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bp2bnRQwj
因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4rvBC4rv1
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPCiO0PmRJ
「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyGcQqudJh
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5Q5Uowv6a
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwA7ADVBpy
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWlng1gLOm
我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJCp6Z6rVn
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyvnV7DKyd
「睇下我老母點應你囉。」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOKHIveJh9
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpD7FIkZMV
我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxN4Vib7EQL
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JCePAcA3h
想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh16qZalFXQ
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNgCeFaSSd
「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAmQ91q0KE
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzscY9MjfbB
她按著肚輕輕點頭。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjllCWndPgs
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2b0nzIZwm
「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTL275qwhV
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtvnnV9oh4
「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo99DUE0yqO
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYsmONHSsA
想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgdPdQ68sR
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZp2IaRnJgM
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytIeZI0maj
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0nElwN0dV
「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRVNiB3yOZ
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSGLKVz0Gn
看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJX57gVVfE
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5svtdfXMI
她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhCRRe6yMM
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWEFTDwPrv
「辣架?」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zjzdYTKMo
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawRQKn5diP
我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVRprf6wPA
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiNtncgUqz
「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwyWOdw8nO
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dn0aqs7qh
她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJnsQ0lzLE
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDP3aJhzXEl
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAb5LveSoc
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJm1TCxrjg
「唔該。」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OfPdt0bze
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlt7VYd61OE
「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYl3tHlJBut
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUW0PfaaVNf
「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeBMDpwT0s
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeODgVkDgw
我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SaBQWAY8d
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDG6gzvcYh9
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9nC0DZ2yi
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJjKZP0Kin
她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qoIe96MC2
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRDECZ89uf
「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuMaUVCnxp
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKEpKPqIm0
被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5w0iiahBIw
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCrpfWxtgZ
「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbYdxEOmrU
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5FW9y50Ry
我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4TVmyao9O
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPrGWRb9YS
尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi811xg3E06
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10hobpSJRJ
老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTv3WT21IY
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRItQqo3M2Z
「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oHnclkktL
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9hAuQw1km
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTPkckcvyI
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsBYyrwbvv
是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxn6NhL9RM
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFsgtpq1If
「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9GrVpXizf
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZlMKm0s6f
WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUBnaUOZJr
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbRgyx9qNz
「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhugceLlWcu
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtSsvgjTo0
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7hmNDu0FQ
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IeVJRU01b
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLgplxSHF0
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj69k7gdZCm
「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEu0MAz6zn
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOV4PzqiL5
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLxS7YGOlm
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIbAhkfPp4
「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTq4tIMUmNs
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjqqz7fb6w
「茶你老…」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKvOjD8ORr
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55btDetlvA
「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWrBp6DFa0
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡya3b6gveSR
我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJblWhUwbZ
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5Et3gr3FW
「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsT9TT1BpB
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2JFdXgcVb
「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNgCgnrlQI
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmLQjBN9cH
我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UZVQs4SaY
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdU1E6L4qU
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg65CUC45d5
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieJBL2sXaL
我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvmedAZiCt
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHAifNRhbi
「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6s1q6L9QE
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcoH61I7Xk
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gob7BX7yU
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