The door to the hospital elevator dinged and opened wide. Casually dressed, Aizawa stepped out, happy to see that there was no one around. A majority of the lights were off due to the late hour, plunging most of the sterile white hallways in shadow. Only the occasional safety light was on, and he walked underneath them to the end of the hallway. His steps echoed in the emptiness. He'd been here too many times to still call it creepy.
A nurse's station at the end of the hallway was the only thing brightly lit on this floor. A single female nurse sat reading a book at the desk, eyes scanning the pages with alarming speed. Nami, as he'd learned her name was, working the night shift as usual. She looked up upon hearing his footsteps, and gave him a sympathetic smile. Her encouraging nod was all the permission he needed to proceed to the patient room further down the hallway.
Despite being after the hospital's posted visiting hours, Nami had proclaimed that she'd make an exception for him, given the circumstance. Of course, part of him suspected that she was some sort of fan, and was doing it as a favor to him. It was hard to tell, but she was nice enough.
"Don't get in trouble for my sake." He'd told her on his first visit, but she'd waved his statement away rapidly in response.
"No, no! It's fine, really..." Her eyes had misted over, expression sorrowful. "I heard what happened to Scarlet Seer...and if you're visiting so late like this, I can't help but wonder how important she is to you. In that case, you definitely need to be there for her whenever you can! My coworker never comes in until after 2 am, and there's no harm in having you here. I mean, you're a hero, so you're not up to anything troublesome anyway..."
Nami had a hard time looking him in the eyes, and she flustered on in a stuttering ramble. "I know being a hero and teacher probably takes up so much of your time...I won't say anything to anyone, I promise. It's even...almost like the plot of a romance book, or something..."
Aizawa hadn't been sure what to say to that. He'd just moved on, and for the next few nights come to visit Hina after hours to avoid most of the other traffic of the hospital staff. Nami hadn't said more than a passing greeting since then, probably too embarrassed to acknowledge her behavior when they'd first spoken. He didn't mind, not really in the mood for conversation when he came here anyway.
He hadn't gone on patrol in nearly a week. It probably would have kept his mind occupied and off of what was bothering him, but he couldn't bring himself to miss his visit with Hina. Deciding not to think about it, he approached the patient room door and pushed his way inside.
It was dark. There really wasn't a need to have the lights on, given Hina's condition, but Aizawa couldn't help but feel disappointed by it. Like an unconscious dismissal of her recovery chances. Something about leaving a light on, in case she woke up...he sighed, unsure what to really conclude. All he knew was that it bothered him. He shrugged off his jacket and set it on the back of the chair, sitting on the edge and looking over at the redhead.
Her expression was lax and soulless. The way it never changed, one would think she were made of glass or stone. Some sort of lifeless mannequin. It hurt to think about. Her chest rose and fell underneath the hospital gown, proving she was alive, but lacking any trace of life at all. The contrast was jarring.
He reached over and took her hand in his, running his thumb over her knuckles. The skin was warm, as it had always been. Another testament that she was indeed still alive. Faintly, he could feel the pulse of her heart push the blood through her veins. Tiny little validations of life.
"Midnight wanted to come and see you, but I don't think she's completely forgiven herself yet." He said to the empty room, his voice low and quiet. He remembered hearing somewhere that coma patients often recalled hearing their loved one's voices when they awakened. Aizawa figured it was worth a shot, and it may just help him deal with his own feelings.
"Hizashi and I keep telling her it isn't her fault, what happened...but you know how stubborn she can be. Maybe it's just the feeling of helplessness that won't let her believe it. We all feel it, that there's nothing we can do. And I know you'd tell me that I shouldn't take everything on, but..."
The machines keeping her IV going and monitoring her vitals beeped softly, and for awhile he just listened to them. His train of thought began meandering in the direction of his coworkers, and how hard the past week had been for them all. But he eventually sighed.
"I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. I never doubted you were strong, but if I'd have gotten there five minutes sooner...maybe you wouldn't be here." He said, admitting aloud what had been building up in his mind since he'd first seen her lying on the floor of that shop's basement. It wasn't something he'd ever admit to Hizashi or Nemuri, but to her and himself, it felt nice to get off his chest. "Maybe if I had approached you sooner with training, or pushed you harder or more often...there must have been more I could have done to prepare you..."
His words trailed away, swallowing back the rising guilt, telling himself that logically, he knew he'd done all he could, and there was no use wishing for an altered past. A few even breaths and after a moment of composing himself again Aizawa changed the subject, knowing that Hina wouldn't want him talking like that. He could practically hear her chastising him for the self-deprication.
His throat cleared. "The students are doing well. They'd fallen behind after the training camp attack, but this intensive training has really helped bring them up to speed. Most have at least developed a super move or two, and Midoriya seems to have made a breakthrough with his quirk. With luck, he'll stop breaking bones every time he uses it. It's hard to imagine he's the same kid who took the entrance exam back then...
"Their license exams are in a few days and most are nervous. But if they use what they've learned, they'll do fine. I know they will." He summarized hopefully, knowing that she'd want to know about the students. They were remarkably similar in that regard, the care she felt for her students nearly on par with his own.
Another thought occurred to him, the endless questions from his students coming to mind. "Nezu broke the news to the students yesterday. Everyone keeps asking how you are, and when you'll get better. They're worried and want to see you. The staff and police department have agreed to deny the students as visitors until further notice, though, since we want to keep their concerns to a minimum. I think they're doing something for when you get back, from what I understand. So you'll have something to look forward to..."
Aizawa felt a sudden wave of ridiculousness, as if realizing for the first time that he was talking to an empty room, at midnight, when he should be out patrolling or sleeping and preparing for the next day's lessons. This one-sided conversation was uncomfortable. There was very little chance she could even hear him, and part of him wondered if Nami was listening outside the door to hear everything he might have to say. Probably fueling her 'romance novel' fantasies she seemed so caught up in.
It passed as quickly as it had come, and he found himself staring at the hand he held in his own. Whatever might help her recover, no matter how trivial, he didn't mind. He only hoped that he wasn't holding out for nothing. That somehow they'd find a way to wake her up and repair her psyche. So far, All Might hadn't had any luck, and neither had the police Commissioner. Their international requests had yet to pan out.
It was difficult to keep the faith when there was no progress.
"Nezu has hired a replacement for you." He added as an afterthought, watching the way her chest rose and fell with even breaths. "Some hero from Jaku City. I've never heard of her before. I know she's doing an adequate job, but..." His brow furrowed, a sense of deja vu washing over him. "...work's just not the same without you there."
Her silent response made him sigh, and his hand gave her's a light squeeze. Aizawa sits in silence for several minutes, just spending time with his unresponsive partner, before telling himself that he couldn't justify staying any longer that night. He did still have lessons to teach the next morning, which would be specially important given how soon the license exams were. And knowing Hina, she'd antagonize him about not getting enough sleep had she the ability to at the moment.
The teacher brushed aside some hair from her forehead and brushed his lips against her skin, before standing to leave. He snatched his jacket from the chair and tucked it under his arm, grabbing for the door handle.
He'd never been that great at goodbyes. But he did leave the light on for her. Just in case.
She'd felt the very moment that her mind had shattered. It had come with an indescribable pain, of a variety that Hina had never experienced before. Not physical, but she could still feel the remnants of it deep into her soul. She'd screamed into the black void as she was forced out of Shouta's mind and back into her own.
Hina had watched as the walls in her head crumbled and dissolved away in a whirlwind of destruction, the beach disappearing and the sand beneath her hands sinking away into blackness until there was nothing left. Daichi had stood above her, watching her with a coldness that chilled her to the bone.
And then he'd touched the glowing blue orb, face deep with concentration. Replacing him and everything she'd become familiar with were...things she'd never be able to purge from her mind. Things she'd wished never to have been able to visualize at all. Like he'd plunged her into the deepest depths of her own personal hell.
Daichi didn't hold back, forcing the worst he could conjure from the contents of her memories into her head. The director of a sadistic play, taking those she loved and starring them in a nightmare of his own vicious design. If Hina hadn't been terrified of their mutual quirk before, she certainly was now.
Familiar faces twisted in expressions of unimaginable pain, or death, or sheer horror. The students, so young and with so much potential. She'd never seen so much suffering and agony from them. She wished she never had. Scenarios crafted by Daichi's own hatred.
Her brother must have been able to glean Shouta's importance to her from her memories, because he starred in many a terrifying play. Cruelly tortured, Hina forced to watch, but she wasn't sure who was suffering more between the both of them. Telling herself none of it was real helped less and less the more she was forced to witness.
Her voice had given out in short order, half of the screams echoing around her coming from her own throat.
It hadn't taken long for the nightmarish images to render her palsied, her mind assaulted by one scene after another, meant to break her and then make sure she'd never recover again. And when it all boiled to a point when she didn't think she could take anymore, it all shattered. The shimmering blue shards of what was once her mind exploded outwards, becoming little stars in the black, inky skybox.
Daichi was gone. Everything was gone. Hina lay naked, shivering in the dark, staring off into the endlessness. Tears leaked from her eyes, and she felt them slide down her cheeks onto the surface she rested on. A tiny, cold puddle formed under her cheek. And despite the raging hellscape fading into the shadows, she could still feel the remains of it's effect lingering there, waiting for her to look close enough and find it.
She couldn't be certain how long she'd been there, crying and trying her best to keep the worst of the nightmares at bay. Days? Weeks? Was time even passing? Hina didn't know. It didn't really matter now, did it? Daichi had won. He'd broken her, and no doubt learned the location of their grandfather's ring. She'd doomed her home, too weak to have held him back. He'd proved in one fell swoop that she had never been a hero, in the end.
For a long time, she waited, wondering if help would come. She needed someone strong. A hero...a real hero, to rescue her. So the redhead waited and waited for what seemed like an eternity.
And as the hours or days or months passed without hunger or rest, she finally cast her gaze up for the first time. At the smattering of blue crystals that had once been her foundation. They sparked and reflected some sort of light source that she couldn't see. It made her sad to look at the remnants of what she used to be, but now that she watched them, she couldn't pull her eyes away.
They slowly rotated, spinning and dancing in the darkness. For another few weeks, she just watched how they moved, allowing them to keep her mind off the horrors awaiting in the dark recesses of this void.
Over time, one eventually made it's way closer to her. The shard glimmered, and she reached up to enclose it in her palm. The sharpness sliced her skin, and she yanked it away, feeling blood well up where the edges had cut. But underneath that pain, underneath the blood, she'd seen something. Not a nightmare...
A memory. A flash of a smile, a moment of nervousness, and a pair of gentle eyes she recognized.
Fighting against the pain her body was in, she sat up, staring at the shard that she'd touched. This fragment...it contained a memory. One she didn't have to hide away from. Stretching her aching muscles, she crawled forward and tentatively reached out again, this time clutching the shard in her fist and ignoring the sharp pains it caused to her palm.
The students will be on their way soon for the match. You should start preparing.
Unlike before, Hina wasn't inserted directly into the memory, but simply viewed it from an outside perspective. Through a looking glass.
I know, I'm just...
Stalling? You're nervous.
Yeah...
She watched as Shouta frowned, lifting her chin so she would look at him. The concern in his expression, mixed with his usual determination that she see her own worth...it made her smile.
I know that look, stop it. Enough with the negative thoughts. It's ok that you're nervous, but get rid of the idea that you're weak or going to fail. Give yourself a chance and stop thinking about it so much.
"Shouta..." Hina muttered in despair, but the familiarity and comfort of hearing his voice was...uplifting. Her fingers clenched around the crystal, sending lightning bolts of pain through her hand. She felt the warm drip of blood between her fingers.
I'm aware that I'm my own worst enemy, Aizawa. But saying I'll have more confidence in myself is easy compared to actually acting on it.
She'd been so quick to put herself down back then, and Hina realized that she was doing the same thing now. All that time, growing stronger and growing confident in herself...Daichi had dashed it all with little more than a flick of his hand-
No. Hina had done it to herself. She closed her eyes, shutting out the memory and ignoring the rest of the scene. She was discrediting all of her hard work, laying here and wallowing in fear and sorrow, while her friends were out there, no doubt doing everything they could to bring her back. Shouta had always had faith in her. Throughout everything she'd been rebuffed by, he had been her quiet and sturdy rock to cling on to.
One failure, and she was down for the count? Shouta would call that a one-and-done hero. Shouta had failed to protect the students at USJ, but he'd picked himself up and vowed for it not to happen again. And even when it had, he'd done everything he could to learn from it and be better for whatever came next. The man never let failure stop him from being better. From rising past the obstacles that confronted him.
She bit her lip, scrunching up her face and taking several deep breaths. Hina wasn't going to sit here and waste away in a prison of Daichi's making. No. No. This would be another obstacle that Hina would overcome. Allowing this to break her would solidify the idea that she was weak. And all she'd accomplished to get herself here would be for nothing. Hina was not weak.
Her story would not end here.
"Baby steps..." She whispered to herself through labored breathing, shuffling to sit on her heels with the shard still in her hand. Blood dripped from her fist, but she ignored the sharpness. The redhead wobbled to her feet, standing on shaky legs and looking around reluctantly.
The darkness seemed to pulse, terrifying monsters and nightmares just inches behind it's veil, but she looked instead at the blue glimmers of shards in the air. She hobbled closer to a larger one, reaching out with her uninjured hand to touch it.
It sliced her fingers, but flashes of her memories passed the very moment she touched the surface. A memory of teaching the students at UA. She recognized the lesson. It was from months before.
Unsure of what to do now, Hina glanced between the shards she had, touching them together, however, nothing happened. Her teeth gritted, the feeling of knives intensifying the longer she held onto the blue fragments of crystal. Shaking her head, she released both and watched as they floated in place in the emptiness.
Warm blood splattered onto the floor, and she looked down at the cuts now marking her palms. Thin, red lines spilled with her life essence, but she clenched them again, looking up and thinking hard.
How was she supposed to fix the damage Daichi had done? This was an aspect of their quirk she'd never explored, never having had the need to learn something like that. If he could figure out how to break a mind, then perhaps Hina could devise a way to fix one.
The redhead hesitated, closing her eyes for a moment. After days of constant quirk use, she wasn't sure how it would feel to use it now. She couldn't even tell how long her mind had had time to recover from it. The passage of time was a strange concept in the void. Would it be painful? Well, there was only one way to find out.
Her eyes flashed a cyan blue, activating her quirk, and she immediately shut it off, terrified by the horrifying images that assaulted her from the darkness. The screaming cut off the moment she stopped, and she covered her face with her bloody hands. Her breathing came out in rough pants, scared and shaking.
"No..." She muttered, slowly drawing her hands away to stare at the darkness again. "...it's not real...it's not real..."
Activating her quirk brought with it Daichi's nightmarish echoes. She wouldn't be able to make any progress without encountering the worst that he'd shoved into her mind. She'd have to face it all over again. And this time, she'd have to try to figure out how to repair the damage whilst reliving it. Fuck.
Hina didn't want to do this. She really didn't. It would be painful, and terrifying. And she honestly didn't know if she had the mental fortitude to push through. Or even if the plan would work. But every fiber of her being knew she had to try. Any possibility of failure be damned.
Setting her face and releasing one last breath, she activated her quirk and snatched the bloodied shards again.
Mid-morning on the 4th floor was generally pretty quiet. After breakfasts and morning bathroom trips were done, most patients settled down to watch tv or read, or otherwise occupy themselves until later in the day. There was always the odd call requesting a new book or asking about their treatment, but otherwise, the nurses were left with general housekeeping to do at the station.
Those on shift that morning hadn't been anticipating the bloodcurdling scream to come from the one room they hadn't expected any sort of noise to come from. They'd all frozen in place, too shocked and scared to initially react, before the urgency of the situation took hold. A patient was in need of help.
Two of the nurses scrambled to rush towards the room, not bothering to knock or wait for permission because of the frantic crying and shouting from within. They flicked on the lights and were surprised to see the redheaded hero shivering and thrashing at the thin tubes attaching her to the IV rig.
No amount of pleading for her to calm down seemed to work, and eventually both nurses had to step in to prevent her from pulling out what was keeping her alive. Her hysterics left any and all words on the nurses' part falling on deaf ears. Her eyes were wide, red-rimmed, and filled with horror.
"Shouta!" She finally screamed, eyes frantically searching the room as her hands shook with a worryingly noticeable tremor. The fact that they were trying to restrain her didn't seem to register at all.
"Please calm down, Scarlet Seer!" One of the nurses begged, trying not to harm but also attempting to stop her struggling. "You're safe!"
"I need to see him! Shouta!" She cried again, pain etching her features and a level of panic they had no clue the origination. "Please...! Shouta..."
She moaned in pain, hands still shaking. And finally one of the nurses had the good sense to run back to the nurse's station to pick up the damn phone and dial the first number they could find on her list of emergency contacts.
ns 15.158.61.51da2
