She had fallen asleep in my arms. Her brown hair was sprawled out around her and her beautiful face softened at peace. She starts whimpering and crying “stop” she screams. I feel a bit panicked removing my arms from her, she tosses and turns. “Tyler stop,” she says again. I shake her slightly “Come on wake up” I say as I shake her harder. “Come on, wake up please” Her eyes flutter open and she pushes against me “Give me a second before you say or do anything” she says her breathing heavy and her eyes filled with tears. I had never seen her scared this badly, I nod waiting for her to tell me what happened. I was essentially holding my breath, “Okay, i’m fine” her breathing had returned to normal and her green eyes were staring into mine. “What happened? Why were you screaming and crying?” I ask, reaching my hand out to touch her cheek, she moves away. “It’s a long story, Ghost one we probably don’t have time for”
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I look down at my watch “I got all night” I say smiling. “I’ll sit here for as long as we need.” She looks down “okay,” she takes a deep breath “basically you know how you get ptsd flashbacks” I nod at her thinking about how many times i’ve woken up into a cold sweat. “Well that was essentially, what that was was from when I was raped. It happens occasionally.” She takes a deep breath and looks down at my hands that have moved to be on top of hers. “I’ll be sleeping peacefully, and then it’ll start to distort and he’ll be on top of me again holding me down and forcing me to do things” she stops speaking and wipes her eyes. “It’s okay baby” I say without thinking and wrapping her in my arms. She cries trying to get closer to me. “Calm down, it'll be fine” I whisper to her. “No, no no” she keeps repeating it over and over “Hey hey hey” she won’t quiet down so I put my hand over her mouth “Hey calm down, it’s okay baby”
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She mumbles into my hand, “mhm” her tears still falling down her cheeks I wipe them away from her eyes. “It’s okay he’s not here, I got you” I hold her closer to my chest. She looks up at me with pitiful eyes and I remove my hand “are you okay?” I ask her in a low whisper. I have to say I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, most of the women I have ever been with it’s usually I get off and then kick them out but she was different. I don’t understand why she’s different, it's almost like she's fragile. “Yes lieutenant I’m fine” she says looking back down, I begin to pet her hair and hold her there and she doesn’t move she's barely even breathing. She seems to be listening to my heartbeat, trying to match her breathing to mine. She smiles while I’m petting her. I have never felt this way. Why am I feeling this way? Someone explain it to me.
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König walks into our bedroom, and sits down next to me and her. I’m holding her tightly and she's fallen asleep. “What is this?” He asks “Well we were watching a movie and then she fell asleep, and then she had a panic attack and I held her to calm her down.” I said and looked at her then back at him, “Oh okay then, three days in and we’re helping the corporal through her issues” He says with a smile. “Yeah, I guess” I say and look down at her again. Theres no fucking way I was falling for her, she was a fragile girl and I wasn’t going to ruin her. I’d let könig have her. I couldn't do that to her, I’d hurt her. I’m not capable of loving someone like they need to, I couldn’t show her the love she needs. “König” I say quietly “Yes Ghost” he responds to me, “I think I might be in love with her?” I say unsure “You think you’re what?” He says
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“I think I’m in love with her” I say again looking at him, still petting her. “Look at how small she is, and how well she fits against my body” He frowns at me and looks down at her “She does fit well but Ghost, you know you and relationships don’t work out” He agrees with what I had thought about several times. She is adorable and I would love to be with her but I'm not available enough. I could love her but never show her, she was too kind for her own good. She would get hurt all I wanted to do was protect her even if that meant protecting her from me. Her eyes twitch and then flutter back open, “morning princess” I smile at her and she smiles back “what were you guys talking about”
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I looked at König and then back at her, “Nothing honey, it's not important, it was just some stupid work stuff.” She nods and stands up and moves over to her bed, grabbing a book from the shelf. She sits down and starts reading, and I keep talking about it. “I know about that but it’s just perfect everything about it feels right” I say looking at him. “I want to protect it” I say “I never want to lose it.”
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