It was the dazzling glint in her eyes that made me realize: I was falling. And I was never one to fall in love at first sight.
Hold on, there was no way I could fall in love at first sight right now. Let me check again.
Her eyes are such a wonderful shade of gray. Well, maybe it’s green. It was hard to tell with the growing distance.
Funnily enough, this exact distance reminds me of our future wedding, me and her. While I’m tearing up by the altar, her father is proudly walking her down the aisle, and all I can think about is how beautiful she is. And everyone is just as winded as I am, lost for words in this sudden rush of emotions.
Oh, stop it! I cannot fall in love right now! Just look at her; she’s way out of my league.
Yet, her arms were stretched toward me, reaching in vain. She was really trying to catch me with her fragile hands. Her fingers were so slender. I could tell from even this distance.
And suddenly, I saw our children. Three of them. With my curly hair and her wide smile. Well, I hope she has a wide smile, she isn’t exactly smiling right now, at our first exchange of glances. But she’s reaching out toward the youngest, a babbling little tot who can freely run around in nothing but his swollen pamper. And I’m reaching for him, too. And as we grab him at the same time, all five of us -- her, me, and all our children -- fall into a huddled heap of laughter, embracing one another.
My arm stretched back toward her, like the deceitful vision of an impossible future. Why did I do that? It was pointless.
Caught in her gaze once more, I realized just how fast I was actually falling. How everything around me was just a blur, and how she was the only face in the mass of many that I could focus on.
But all of the blurred colors morphed into a stage. Behind me was a powerpoint of every controversial idea. In front of me was an uncountable number of faces. Each had a hard expression, and yet, in this immense crowd, all I see is her. There were more lines framing her face, and some gray peeking through the top of her head, yet she still looked as captivating as the vision of our wedding day. The silent cheer in her dazzling eyes kept me calm for the sudden plunge. Her soft smile promised to lend me all of her strength through this life changing fall into the unknown.
She lurched forward, gripping the handrail at the last second. A gentleman near her had her by the waist, keeping her from me.
My heart plummeted. She’s only just met me three seconds ago, and yet she tried with all she of her might to touch my life for a brief second. She’s so amiable, and wonderful, and I’m an idiot for silently hoping she’d actually try to meet me at the bottom.
That other man probably saved her from a terrible mistake. There was no way she and I could ever meet. I'm happy enough to imagine how wide and assuring her smile may be, how amazingly perfect each and every one of her children will turn out, or how easily she could charm a whole crowd at her wedding. Even just staring at her green or gray eyes lifted a small weight from my chest. She belonged out there, where she could have the chance to fall in love just as hard as I just have.
Dang. I really did fall in love at first sight. Right when time was literally slipping through my fingers like the rushing wind. I stared up at her outstretched hand, reaching for it in vain.
And, it was that last dazzling glint in her eyes that made me realize: I regret falling off this golden bridge.
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