"No, I'm not going to do that. I won't take the pills anymore.", Peeta says as emphatically possible while whispering.
I think Peeta is acting impulsive again and I won't have it. "So your plan is to just rush Cato!"
"Sooner or later we are going to have to fight him, let's get it over with!"
It is time me and Peeta had whatever this is out. "Maybe you should just go by yourself and scout him out. Then when you get killed I can just face him alone."
In Peeta's face ever muscle tightens, "My 'scouting' got a lot of important information."
"That isn't why you did it is it. You were just afraid of being here with me!"
Peeta face goes bright red and for a second I'm scared, still I continue, "It's the truth isn't it!" Peeta pauses and takes a couple large breaths till his face goes back to normal.
"Ok, you want to talk about fear let's talk about fear. Not for one moment since the reaping have I thought I'm getting out of here alive. I've participated in the murders of 3 people. I've sliced up one boy's belly and slit the throat of a dying girl. But what I can't stand are these crazy thoughts in my head. Did that kiss mean anything, did that smile, does anything here mean anything, or is it all in my head!"
He is looking me straight in the eye waiting for something. We have both killed people here and I didn't tell him but I was there when he killed the girl. I certainly didn't tell him I thought about killing her myself for her foolish behavior. "You don't think you and I'm getting out together!"
"No, I never believed that, I've just been trying to stay alive long enough to get you out of here."
I feel my stomach turn, "Peeta, you are getting out, you and me we are getting out!"
"No you are.", Peeta says emphatically.
Why is he saying these things? "Please Peeta, please!" I grab him and hold him as tight as I can. It seems like forever till I can form more words. I move my lips very close to his ear and start talking in a very tiny voice. "I like it when you stroke my hair as I go to sleep." Somehow I feel like I'm 6 years old and must confess that I stole something. "When we kiss sometimes I like it. And when I thought you died I felt something die inside of me." I pause hoping he stops me before I say too much, but he seems to be holding his breath, so he can hear me better. "The kiss when you came back meant a lot to me." Peeta whispers in my ear now, "Why is this so hard for you?" "Because, I've promised myself I would never fall in love." Halfway through the sentence I feel a panic, I'm saying too much!
I pull back and look in his face, the glint in his eye lets me know I've said too much. Quickly I'm mad and push him back so he falls on his butt, still I see the smile in his eyes.
I scowl at him the best I can. Peeta picks himself up and takes his jacket from my head. Peeta says, "Okay Katniss you win. From now on you make the plans and I will follow." "No more talk about not getting out.", I demand. "I told you, you make the plans from now on. If you have plans for both of us past the games, I guess I will just have to live." Peeta face breaks into a big silly smile and it is all I can do to return a frown. Oh what a clever and lucky man Peeta seems to think he is.
I order, "We will go back to the cave, and tomorrow we will set up an ambush for Cato." Peeta says, "Okay"
We start walking back. I look over and he still has a smile. Now I feel a smile on my face too. Peeta offers his hand and we walk back hand in hand.
That all happened weeks ago. The games are over and I'm sitting in the bakery trying to explain to the Mellark family what happened to their son. Just 2 months ago I would have been so impressed with the size and wealth the bakery represents, but that was before I saw the capital. The large brick bakery with its high ceilings, large windows, and ceiling fans was hot and I'm sweating. They must have just been cooking orange cake because the sweet orange smell fills the room. We are sitting in the back of the bakery, where they work all day, around a small round table. The table is filled with cookies and ice tea glasses. The cookies have been untouched but I'm on my third glass of ice tea. From here I can see the back yard where I almost starved to death. And in that yard I see the tree I leaned against that day. Now, I see Gale under that same tree, patiently waiting for me to finish my business with the Mellarks. For a moment I wonder if Gale understands the significance I place in that tree, but I guess I never told him. Around the table are Peeta's mother, father, and two brothers. When I entered the house I gave Peeta's mother flowers. This skinny harsh woman may never be my favorite person, but Peeta paid in full any debt the Mellark family owed me. Right before me is Peeta's father, a huge strong man, who strong hands have trembled almost the whole hour I've been talking. He sits right opposite me. His two sons and wife seem like some kind of buttresses just holding him up. None of us have cried as I told my story, but each detail seemed to visibly hurt him. Several times I got up saying that this was a bad idea, just to have him pull me back and say go on. They know what happened, but I'm telling them how I felt about their son and what he did. For them I included details no one but Peeta and I could have known, only a few things did I hold back, mainly to protect myself from crying.
"What we didn't know as we were returning to the cave is Cato had found our camp. When we got to the pond by the cave Cato jumped up from behind a bush and threw his spear. Peeta took the spear right to his chest."
I'm suddenly exhausted, I don't want to continue anymore, besides they know all this from the vids. But looking into Peeta's father's eyes I try to continue.
"Peeta just pulled the spear out and tried to rush Cato, he only gets a few feet before he collapses. Never in my life have I been so fast with my arrows, but Cato had some armor on and my two arrows bounced off his chest. Just before he reached me I got an arrow in his eye. When I reach Peeta he is unconscious and blood is just pouring out of his chest. I couldn't stop the bleeding though I press with all my might on his chest."
My hand is now shaking, and I don't think my voice can continue.
"I know he has only minutes to live. I start yelling for the Gamemakers to come and save him. I yell we are the rightful winners and they must save Peeta. But they don't come and soon I know they have decided to watch Peeta die in my arms. His death this way would be their big dramatic ending for this game. So I decide I've to force them to come."
Now for the first time, I break my promise to myself and start crying.
"I took Peeta's knife and I decide to plunge it into my heart. I thought if I died quicker than him, he could still be the winner and they would have to save him. But I couldn't do it, my bravery fails me. Instead I stabbed myself in my belly, knowing I would live a while. I thought maybe if they saw us both dying maybe they would save us both. I lose consciousness almost immediately." I stop finally totally spent.
I must have looked as white as a sheet, by the Mellark's reaction. The whole family is flying around me. They are asking what they can do for me, giving me tea. Finally Misses Mellark guides me to a couch and makes me lie there for a while with a cool dam rag on my head. After a half hour I get up and tell them I must leave.
I leave by the back door, and Gale is still waiting under the tree. He is just as I remember him, tall, lean, dark, and strong just leaning on the tree.
Gale has a smile on his face, but it hides more than it shows. "Catnip, What were you doing in there?"
I search his face for any hidden feelings and say, "I promised myself I would explain to them what happened."
"Are you okay?"
"Now I'm. It was tough, one of the toughest things I've ever done, but now it is over I'm glad. What are you doing here?"
"I was waiting on you." Gale puts his arms around me and gives me a big hug, then he pulls back and puts a sweet little kiss on my cheek. "I just wanted to let you know how happy I'm they saved the both of you. And I wanted to say, well … I'm happy you found someone. I really just want you to be happy."
"Gale that means a lot to me.", I search his face for any sign of hurt and if it is there he hides it well.
"You tell that Peeta that he is the luckiest man on earth."
I stand on my toes and put a peck on his cheek and say, "I don't have to, he tells me that every day. I must go now."
As I go along the roads my steps are quick and light and I can feel my pigtail bounce on my shoulders. I've someone waiting for me in the Victors Village.
ns 15.158.61.6da2
