The dinner I had that night was exceptionally quiet, and I believed that it was only the calm before the storm.
'Why are you that late and you even missed your dinner? What have you promised me this morning?' asked my mother. Well...I couldn't tell them the truth that I went for audition, right? So I lied, ' I just went to the park and played the guitar after being trapped inside the library for a whole d-'
'But why I saw someone who looked like you walking into the "SM Audition" building this morning, is that really you?' my mum's voice was as quiet as if it's going to fade away.
'Mum, believe me, I just went to the p-'
The face of my dad was boiling like a ripped tomato, I could see that his hair was nearly pointing up to the sky, he put down his chopsticks hardly onto the table and shouted, "What have I told you since you're young? Just keep on studying and leave your emotions behind, and now you're telling me that you want to be a singer? This is RIDICULOUS!!!'
'Honey calm down, everyone has a dream, and so do teenagers, especially when they are going through puberty, they can decide on their ow-'
'Shut up!' The whole house was shaking as if a dinosaur stepped into our house. He then rushed towards his room and slammed the door rudely.
"Don't you dare to call me your father if you want to stick to your own view!" was what I heard before the house became quiet again.
Sorry dad, I didn't live up to your expectations.
{_-_}
In the next few days, I didn't have a great time with my parents, as the first thing I heard when I arrived home was their arguments and fighting because of me, which ended with the crying of my mother. And I once thought that I wouldn't have the courage to talk to them peacefully anymore.
I really don't like to live in here, a house full of arguements and violence.
{_-_}
One day, I arrived home at around 6pm as usual, and it's rare that my mother was at home that early, I thought she would have been to work in McDonald's until 10pm. But I didn't care much and directly went back to my room. I opened my laptop and a notification popped out.
__________350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqW3MMYmubc
New message from SM Entertainment350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZT5WJJnr9q
[Open] [Cancel]350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWkasuUpTy
_________
I clicked 'open' and my jaws had almost dropped for 30 seconds.
I AM ACCEPTED!!!
I bounced on my bed as if I was on cloud nine, I couldn't my eyes (oh my eyes). Just then I was interrupt by my mother who was standing outside my room like a creepy ghost.
'What are you doing up here? Come down quickly or else you will fa-!'
It was too late, I stepped onto my ankle and bumped my head onto the celling.
After settling down, my mum sat next to me on my bed, putting down a bowl of sliced apples beside me. She asked me why I was that happy, so I told her about my entrance of the 2nd audition.
I really thought that she would slap me on my face and threaten me to get out of my house, if not she will burn my room down, until ashes were left. But out of my expectations, she placed her hands on top of mine, and gently touched mine.
"I'm really, really sorry about what papa did to you last week, and I truly understand why he was angry at that moment. Many parents want their children to grow under the love and care of them, and sometimes I would think that papa and I are too overprotective of you, restricting you from exploring other things. This world is full of mistery and new things for you to search, and I hope you can step out of your comfort zone and achieve what you really want to. You are now grown up, you should decide your own path.'
And so this question had stuck in my brain for the next hour. I was tossing and turning in my bed in the sleepless night, but I still couldn't digest the wise words from my mum.
Was she supporting me of being a singer? Or she just wanted me to work extra hard on my current studies in order to find a job with higher social status in order to earn a living for the three of us.
Urghhh I just couldn't figure it out.
{_-_}
On a sunny saturday, I was woken by the steaks of sunlight which penetrated through the curtains. It's such a cozy morning that I just want to stay in bed and continue to sleep till late afternoon.
I turned to the side of my bed and checked the time. It's still very early, 7am in the morning. Just then I saw a cheque and a small note on top of it.
Both were give from my mother. I was confused why she would give me a cheque, despite of the tutor fees ( but she would usually deposit it into the bank by herself), but when I took it out, it turned out to be a plane ticket. I then took the note and had a closer look of it:
-
Dear siara,
I know that you will need to fly to Korea for the second audition, and you will leave tomorrow, so here's the plane ticket which I've bought it for you without your father's realising. Don't worry, I will talk to him patiently after you're gone. Remember to fight for your dreams, if not you will definitely regret. I don't like to have a daughter who is always carrying a bitter smile in front of us. I know this is a tough decision for letting you go and being miles away from us. But I will always support you no matter what.350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ncQi2jUOb
Please take care of yourself and don't let us be too worried:)
With lots of love, 350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCUj63n5BG
Your mother❤
-350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg7lmt7b2c
My vision became blurred, and tears had formed inside my eyes. I thought that my mother would be very cold and strict with my studies, but she's actually warm-hearted when it comes to my dream.
{_-_}
I carried my luggage and headed to the airport by bus the next morning. Everything seemed to be unreal, I can't believe that I was one step closer to my dream, and the most unbelievable thing was that my mother was always backing me up.
As soon as I arrived to the airport, I went for check-in and loaded my luggage. It's soon the time for me to board on the plane, I went to the departure hall, beside me were people hugging with their parents, bidding farewell with each other. It's finally my turn to leave, I looked back, my heart ached a bit when I realised that I came here alone, and I would be the only one decide my future.
I knew that the show must go on, and this was only the start of my exciting journey which was full of blood, sweat and tears.
ns 15.158.61.55da2
