"Simon?"
"Yeah, mom?" Simon answered from the garage, where he was installing the new car part his cousin Max owed him.
His mother was leaning against the door frame separating the garage from the inside of their home. "I need you to ship our presents to a few of our relatives."
Simon jerked his head up and swore when he hit it against the car floor. "Damn! Ow... mom, what?"
"You heard me."
"But why? Why don't you just mail it? I can't drive!"
"Because it's more personal that way. Also, you're nineteen and you passed your driving test months ago. Don't think that because your parents weren't there for it we don't know about what goes on in your life."
Simon stared at his mother with an astonished expression. "Are you alright? You just said that it was more personal for me to drive across provinces just to deliver presents."
"Si!"
"No, mom. I'm serious. Are you okay? Have you been brushing too many dinosaur bones or Atlantis mummies?"
"Atlantis mummies?" she repeated with a twinkle of amusement in her eyes, though she still scowled down at him. "I am a professional ethnoarchaeologist, Si. I do not go 'brushing Atlantis mummies'. No one brushes mummies in the first place. And your father agrees with me, about the presents. You can take your sister and - "
"No! Damn it, if I'm going to do this, she is not coming along. That brat is annoying."
"Thank you, Si. I'm sure our relatives will appreciate the gesture. You'll have a very nice present waiting for you when you return."
Simon wiped down the oil from his hands onto his overalls and looked at his mother hopefully. "New laptop?" He closed and locked the door to the garage and stood on level with his mother.
"We'll see," she said and ruffled his head of green hair without thinking: her hand came away with a coat of slimy, green oil, which she promptly wiped over her son's overalls. "And you're going to be scrubbing down that hair before you leave!"
"Um...When exactly am I supposed to go on this god forsaken mission?" Simon asked mildly. "Christmas is in two days."
"Tomorrow morning. Thanks again," she said and kissed his cheek. Simon backed off.
"Ew, mom! Nineteen, remember?"
She tweaked his nose and laughed as she went to the office she shared with his father.
"More like she didn't figure out what to give them until now," Simon said under his breath. "And I'm supposed to be the express delivery dude. Great."
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The next morning at six thirty, Simon awoke to his radio. "What the hell?" Then he remembered the presents and swore.
He got dressed, yawning all the way down the stairs and went into the kitchen. Simon brought out the toast from the toaster oven and started eating while pouring himself a glass of milk. It was quiet, save for the humming he was hearing from the garage.
After downing the glass, he went to get his coat before meeting his mother. "Mom?"
She stood straight from her position over the trunk, where stacks of presents lay. "Good morning. The presents are all loaded."
"Exactly whose houses am I going to?"
His mother glanced at a piece of paper on his work table, which Simon hadn't seen until now. "Hm...not to all our relatives, just to your uncle Luke, Huston, and your grandparents.
"Seeing as they all have kids of some sort, there are presents for them as well. You'll need the list. Their address is beneath each name. You should be fine as long as you have your map."
"Or my GPS," Simon said as he brought out his iPhone and waved it at his mother. Then he snapped a picture of the list of three and placed both into his jeans.
She gave him a hug. "Do you have everything?"
"Yes," he said. "Clothes, and stuff. I didn't need to bring a lot because you know, it shouldn't take me more than a few years to get it all done."
"Don't exaggerate," she said. "You'll be going to Luke's place first."
Simon started to grin as he tossed his bag into the front passenger seat. "I get to wake Max up seven in the morning? Sweet."
"Have a good trip. Stay safe."
"I will," Simon promised. "It's not like anything bad can happen, right?"
His mother opened the garage door and waved at him. He returned it as he started the car and drove off. Max didn't live too far - it was just a twenty minute drive but the route was so clogged with fresh snow and hesitant drivers that it took him almost double the time.
Half an hour later, he parked his car outside Uncle Luke's home. He saw the presents labelled for Luke immediately and snatched them up, letting the trunk close itself as he rang the doorbell.
He waited a few minutes and rang it again. Then he looked through the window, wondering if his mother had forgotten to tell her brother-in-law that he was coming over.
And heard Max arguing with someone. He knocked loudly on the door and rang the bell again. "Max, open the damn door!"
Another half a minute passed with him freezing on their doorstep before the door was yanked open by his cousin. Max was dressed in sweats and a hoodie, with his black hair uncombed, sticking in all directions.
Max was always the scrawny guy in school - the scrawny and geeky/nerdy guy. The only part of him that didn't fit that stereotype was...well, Simon had never seen him bullied. He somehow managed to pull off the scrawny-cool look that put him in almost all social circles on campus, from fixing up the guys' vehicles and going out for a drink, to competing in math or robotic competitions with the other nerds, to joking with the girls. Or on their off days, the friendly psychiatrist for everyone.
"Si, what are you doing here so early?"
"Ho, ho, ho! I come bearing gifts for the good little kids," Simon said in a bored tone and shoved the bag into Max's hands.
Max raised his eyebrows. He closed the door behind Simon and placed the presents on the ground.
"I'm supposed to hand-deliver some presents."
Max burst out laughing. Then stopped. "Wait, are you serious? They live pretty far."
"I'm serious."
"I'm coming with you then."
"I'm going to - wait. Huh?"
"Mom's trying to introduce me to her friend's daughter and I said it wasn't going to happen," Max said. He turned and yanked open the coat closet.
"Max, who was at the door?"
"Just Si!" Max hollered back as he zipped up his coat.
"Good morning, Uncle Luke. I brought you your presents."
"Thanks, Si. Max, give Simon his present, would you? Your mother put it by the door."
"Got it! And I'm going to hang with Si for a bit," Max said and shoved his feet into his shoes. "I'll see you in a few days."
"Max Windsaw, you are not going anywhere - !" Simon heard Max's mother shout before he was pushed roughly out the door.
"Bye, mom!" Max shouted. "Go, go! She's pretty pissed off at me after I dropped that bomb just now."
Max tossed Simon's overnight bag to the back seat and belted himself in all the while talking. "See, I told them I was gay just as you started knocking."
Simon gave Max an incredulous look as he turned the corner. "I've walked in on you and your girlfriend snogging like the end of the world was coming. You don't seem gay."
"You're right, I'm not."
"Then why the hell did you say you were?"
"Because she said the only reason why I wasn't going to meet the girl is if I had a steady relationship or if I were gay. I wasn't about to toss my girlfriend to the wolves."
"And of course you decided to save your girlfriend's life. From your mother."
"Duh. Anyway, where are you off to?"
Simon wordlessly handed the list to him. Max squinted at the paper for a second before rummaging inside Simon's bag.
"What are you looking for?"
"Your glasses. Where'd you put them?"
"Inside compartment. And why aren't you wearing your contacts?"
"Mom needed help shovelling the snow, which doesn't require perfect vision." Max popped open the case and placed the black rimmed glasses on his nose. "I'll buy myself a pair the next time we stop." He replaced the case and scoffed at the list. "It's not too bad. You've already covered my house and Uncle Huston lives in Sudbury. It's our grandparents who are the far ones, in Manitoba. Good thing you don't have to deliver to the other pair. Are you sure you have enough money for all this gas?"
"I have my credit card. And this time, my mom's going to be paying the bill. Speaking of mothers, what did yours give me for Christmas this year?"
"Let's see..." Max removed the green and red tissue paper as Simon entered the highway. "There's a Christmas card, a gift card, some chocolate - "
"Really? Pass them over," Simon said.
Max looked into the bag, ignoring Simon. "There's also a green set of mittens, scarf, and hat. Man, don't you have enough green stuff? Your hair and car are already green."
"Hey, the hair wasn't meant to be green," Simon said. "Someone dyed it while I was passed out in the hospital."
"Serves you right for being in the chemistry lab when they were experimenting."
"Shut up."
The rest of their ride was filled with news from the radio or music from the CDs Simon had collected over the years.
It wasn't even an hour before Max groaned. "Dude, I'm hungry; I didn't eat breakfast this morning."
"We're only at Barrie!"
"So just stop for a bit, yeah? You're running low on gas anyway. Forget to fill it this morning or something?"
"Yeah," Simon admitted. "But we can last a little longer."
"I don't care - just get me food or else I'll start eating your chocolates."
"Don't touch my chocolates!"
"I'm unwrapping the first one..."
"Okay," Simon said. "You win. We'll stop here. Just keep your hands off my chocolate." He got off the highway and drove into town.
The problem was, they had no idea where Max could find a pair of glasses so while Simon filled the tank, Max went in to pay and to ask for directions. After getting that and some food for them both, he was about to leave when he bumped into a tall, buff, and mean looking man dressed in black except for his white v-neck t-shirt, which didn't cover the black and block-lettered 'K' on his neck.
"Watch where you're going, punk!"
"Whoa," Max said and stepped aside. "Sorry." Didn't have to rude about it, he wanted to say.
"He didn't even touch you," a girl on her way out said.
"You have something you want to say, girlie?" the man demanded. "Then say it to my face!"
The girl quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did a girlie actually get under your skin? Guess you're not so tough after all."
Max grinned at her comment and opened the door for her. The big man inside looked ready to hit something, so Max quickly let go and got into the car.
"So we're good to go?" Simon asked.
"Yeah. You might want to hurry it up, too." Max was looking though Simon's window toward the man, who was now scanning the stations for the girl. Then there was a light tap on Max's window.
Simon frowned and rolled it down. A red headed girl whose hair was tied in a braid stood there. She looked around their age, but he was terrible at guessing.
"Hey," she said. "Are you guys leaving town?"
"Yes...?" Simon said slowly.
She grinned at them and showed them a thumbs up jokingly. "Do you think I could catch a ride? You can just drop me off the next time you guys stop for gas or something."
Simon shared a confused look with Max. "Okay...but why?"
The girl shrugged. "My dad's a gang leader who robs banks and deals drugs. He has big plans for the underground and he tried to get me involved, so I'm running away from him."
"Sheesh, if you don't want to tell us you don't have to make up such an obvious lie," Simon said irritably.
The girl beamed at him and opened the back door. "Thanks!"
"Hey, you - !" They heard a muffled shout just as Simon rolled out of the gas station.
"Is someone calling us?"
"No," Max and the girl said quickly. Max continued, "Actually, maybe. I bumped into this mean dude when I was paying for the gas. She told him off." He nodded at the girl, who was staring at the car's trunk.
"Oh, it was nothing," she said and returned her gaze to the presents. "Are you Santa in disguised or something?"
"Presents for our relatives," Simon said with a sigh. "Anyway, who are you?"
"I'm Sam. It's nice to meet you."
"Right. I'm Simon and he's Max."
"Why aren't you worried?" Max asked suddenly. "Hitchhiking with two strangers? I could think of easier ways to get kidnapped."
"You're delivering presents to your relatives," Sam stated, as though it answered everything. "Kidnappers delivering presents for their relatives? I've never heard of one. Besides, I have a gun in my pocket so if you try anything I can shoot you."
Simon screeched to a halt in the turning lane for the highway. "What!?"
The car behind them honked.
"Joking," Sam said. "But I do have a black belt. And a switch blade on my key chain."
"Jeez," Simon muttered under his breath.
They were half an hour on the road when Max swore loudly and said, "If you weren't driving, I would have clobbered you!"
"Ow," Simon said obligingly. "What did I do?"
"You forgot to let me get my glasses!"
"That's not my fault!" Simon said defensively. "And just wear mine until you get your own pair. It's not like I even use it."
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The ride for the next three hours passed in silence, since Max didn't feel like talking to a stranger or in a car with one. Simon just didn't want to talk in the presence of a girl who joked about carrying guns or about why she couldn't call a cab herself.
"We're going to have to leave the highway soon," Max said. "Uh, Sam? Are you sure there's no particular location in mind? We can just drop you off in..." he looked at the map. "In Sudbury?"
"Sure, fine. It's perfect," Sam said with a yawn. Simon caught himself from yawning and exited the highway.
Once they dropped Sam off at a restaurant, they went to look for Uncle Huston's home. The man greeted them with laughter, patting them both on the back before inviting them in for an early dinner and to stay for the rest of the day.
"That's great and all, but we still have to reach grandma's and they live in Manitoba."
Huston laughed and ruffled their hair. "You're good kids. If I asked mine to do anything of the sort, they's groan and complain and lock themselves in their rooms. Have something to eat for the road, at least."
"Awesome," Max said. "Oh right. Where can I get glasses around here? I want my own pair and Simon's suck."
"Here, I'll take you; I need to go to my office anyway. You can stay here if you want, Simon. Catch up on some sleep, if you're planning to drive through the night."
"We're not that desperate to get home," Simon said grimly. We'll find somewhere to sleep."
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Simon had indeed fallen asleep on Huston's couch, which was where he found himself when his phone began to ring. "Hello?"
"Hi Simon, I'm at the shop. Do you mind picking me up now so we could go?"
"Sure, where is it?" Simon yawned and nodded his head. "Uh huh. Could you say that again?"
Max scoffed. "You heard me the first time."
"See you in a few minutes."
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A gunshot rang out through the bank.
"Put your hands up! Everybody do it now!"
The customers and employees screamed as guns were pointed at their heads. They obeyed the three men in black quickly.
The man who fired the gun pointed at the manager. "You! Open the safety deposit boxes! Everyone else, stay where you are!"
When the first man returned with a large sack over his left shoulder, he gestured towards the door. "Let's go."
The second robber opened the door as the third trained his gun on the hostages. When they were all outside, the second man exclaimed, "Where's the van?"
The third man took out his ringing phone. "Where the hell are you? ... What? Damn!"
"What is it?" the first man asked.
"They can't come. the bloody snow plows are blocking the road."
"We'll just have to steal a car then," the second man said.
The third man looked around and spotted a green car rounding the corner. "There!"
They ran to the road and into the way of the vehicle. The driver screamed and pressed hard on the brakes, though the car still skidded half a metre forward. The first man yanked open the front passenger door and the other two got in the back. The first man pushed the barrel of his gun against the boy's head. "Drive or I'll shoot!"
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Simon pressed hard on the gas pedal and drove, following the robber's directions. He gave them nervous looks and saw a tattooed 'K' on the man sitting next to him. Were they part of some gang? After a tense fifteen minutes he said, "So uh...who are you?"
"Shut up! Just drive faster!"
"I-I'm already over the speed limit!"
"Do you want to get hurt?" the man demanded.
"N-No!"
"Then drive faster!"
Simon wanted to point out that getting caught by the police probably wouldn't do them any good but he didn't want to risk getting shot. He couldn't believe he was in this situation right now. How often does one get their own car hijacked?
After half an hour, he was ordered to stop. Then one of the men sitting in the back seat got out - he opened Simon's door and tossed him onto the muddy asphalt, taking his place behind the wheel.
"Hey, that's my ride!" Simon shouted as they drove off. He swore loudly and ran to the nearest payphone. He entered a couple quarters and punched in Max's number.
"Hello?"
"It's me."
"Uh, why aren't you using your phone?"
"My car just got stolen!"
"...You're joking."
"I'm not! Look, can you come get me? In a taxi or something? I'm outside a Timmy's."
"Great, you can get us an early dinner while you're there. Which one are you at? There must be hundreds of them."
"I just got my car stolen and you still want dinner?"
"Chill, we'll get it back easy. So which one?"
Simon looked around and squinted at the signs at the street corner. "Damn, you still have my glasses." He read off the intersection and hung up to wait for his cousin. "Serves him right if I only get him a glazed timbit," Simon muttered as he went into Tim Horton's.
He was tossing his cup of hot chocolate away when a taxi pulled up next to him. Max's face was pressed against the window with white rimmed glasses over his eyes. Simon got in and handed his cousin his drink as well as a box of timbits.
"Thanks, man."
"Where to, boys?" the taxi driver asked.
"I've been tracking that phone of yours," Max said in a low tone. "We can follow them that way. Or call 911."
Simon wrinkled his eyebrows. He didn't have anything against the police but honestly, he just wanted his car back. And if he could do that with tracking it and using his spare key to steal it back, he was down for it.
"Just track it," Simon said.
"Great. Okay, mister, just keep going and make a left turn."
"What, no destination? Are you guys playing a scavenger hunt or something?" the driver asked as he shifted into first gear.
"Something like that," Simon said. "We're trying to find the car that has all our presents."
The driver chuckled and shook his head.
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"Boys, we're reaching the edge of the city. Are you sure you want to continue?" the taxi driver asked.
Simon swore.
"Turn back," said Max. "Can you find us a car rental place?"
"We don't know where they're heading," Simon whispered.
"I kind of want to know what they're up to," Max countered.
Ten minutes later, Simon winced as he paid their driver. They ran to the desk. "We need a car right away."
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Max drove while Simon navigated. They drove for a time. There were a few times when his phone stopped moving. But before they could catch up, it would creep forward again.
"They're still on the high..way..." Simon said and yawned. Max yawned with him before shaking his head. Simon noticed and looked at the time. "We've been driving for a while. I hate to be the one to suggest this but maybe we should rest."
Max yawned again with a nod.
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The continued bright and early the next day, after saying goodbye to the elderly couple who owned the motel, and to the young boy who was their grandson.
"Catch the bad guys, would you?" the boy said timidly.
Simon and Max froze. "What did you say?" Simon asked.
"Catch the bad guys," the boy said again. Then his grandmother walked over from behind the counter and placed a hand over his head.
"Oh, such nonsense," she said. "Don't mind him."
"Right..." Simon said and left. "How did he know about it?"
"I don't know. We didn't even talk about it in there!" Max said. "It was probably just something he says to guests all the time."
Simon still felt unsure about it but shrugged it off to continue. "I hope they didn't find out that my phone's still charged and turned on."
"They're idiots; if they didn't find it right away they're not going to think about it now."
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"My phone stopped," Simon said after half a day. "It says it's near some diner next to a gas station."
"Great. Let's hope they just ditched it and found a new ride."
"Or they went into the diner for a snack. Are these guys actually idiots?"
"Who cares? Oh hey, welcome to Manitoba," Max said when he spotted the blue sign. "Goodbye, Ontario."
"Wonderful. Make a right turn after you exit the highway."
Half an hour later, they tracked down the diner. The parking lot was full of cars and Max cruised around. "There!"
"It's empty," Simon said. He looked towards the diner. "Think they're really in there?"
"They're out, so we're taking it back." Max slipped into the empty slot the row behind their car and locked it.
Hearts beating wildly, they ran for the back of the vehicle and looked through the window. "Well, grandma's presents are still in the trunk." Simon brought out his second car key and unlocked the doors.
Beep-beep!
The locks clicked and they waited a second longer before running for the doors. They got in, slammed them shut and Simon started the car after glancing at the back seats. His bag was on the car floor, probably kicked there when the guys hopped in. He floored it and peeled out of the parking lot.
Max locked all the doors from his side. After hearing the reassuring click of locks he let out a whooping laugh. "Awesome!"
Simon laughed along to dispel the nerves. "Do you think we should call the police now?" he asked. "The robbers are probably still there."
Max agreed. Simon filled the tank with gas while Max made the call at a nearby payphone.
"Yeah, oh my gosh, is this 911?! I just saw three very scary looking guys with guns..."
Simon paid for the gas using his credit car rather than waste time going to the cash register. With that done, he started the car and waited for Max to finish his call.
"Thank you. You're welcome," Max said and hung up. He got back in and gave Simon a high five. "All good."
"I still can't believe that just happened!"
"Next time, lock your doors. Also, can we get some more food? That box of timbits wasn't enough. Maybe a pizza would be better."
"I am not stopping again. You can get food from grandma. And drive the rental car back."
Max groaned. "Okay that's it. five chocolates. Five."
A/N: I hope you've enjoyed reading this. Have a happy holiday!
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