My palm slammed against my leg. The stars twinkled outside as if fire works had gone off. I climbed out of bed and started walking to the exit of the room
Only to be interrupted by voices in the hallway.
“She might not be developing as well as I had hoped.”
“I’m honestly not as concerned for her compared to the other one.” I froze in my tracks. For as long as I could remember all these people had treated me as if I was a member of the family. Were they planning on getting rid of me? Were they?
I climbed out the window, suddenly vexed of what I had heard.
***
Remaining behind the same wall that I had done before, I thought vigorously if I should reveal myself and out myself in front of the drummer. My fingers sweated. There was no way that I was going to do something like that. Not in one million years. For the longest time that I could remember, I had stayed behind this wall without a single feeling any worry of being found out.
But I started to move out. My body began moving towards him. He brushed aside a part of his hair as I began getting close to him, a wide smile starting to show up on his mouth.
“Why hello there! Did you enjoy the show?” I nodded my head. He still kept on smiling as he gazed on me. A nose ring pierced through one of his nasals. He had sunglasses that concealed both of his eyes.
“My name is Jack in case you were wondering. Do you live around here?”
“Inside the mental hospital across the street,” I said, pointing over to the other side of the street. “You can’t quite see it from over here, but it’s there.”
“Oh, well, you know, I’ve never really been there myself. Well, it was nice meeting you. I’ve gotta go back with the rest of the band. See ya’!”
But can you teach me what you can do? I wanted to ask. The question was at the tip of my tongue. The question that had been just dying to come out, but already he was preparing to put his stuff away. I moved away, feeling like I was invisible. Something empty about our talk—like he hardly acknowledged me.
“I love you Kissin’ Barlow!”
“Go Kissin’ Barlow!” I sat in the darkness with my left hand holding my right arm, feeling a little bit lost of what I had just seen.
But of course he doesn’t recognize me, I thought to myself. After all, we had just met. I looked on as he drove away. I had thought that it would have been more—more than that.
***
But no, I couldn’t just give up so easily, I thought to myself as I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I just can’t simply stop there.
I need to ask him, I thought to myself. I need to be brave. I’ve gotta get inside of his face and actually make some kind of point actually clear. I lifted myself out of the bed and looked around. In the corner of the room, I could see a blanket trailing out. Slanky. What was he doing here? Was he here to kill me? Were the rumors really true?
“Go away!” I whispered in a half-whisper, but he remained at that corner, almost like he expected me to give him something in return.
The quiet boy moved down the hall. I peeked my head out just as he was preparing to move on to the other side of the halls. My head remained in that position before I decided to call after him.
“Slanky!” I whispered. Not a single person ever came out from the hall.
***
“Come on,” I called over to Slanky. Slanky almost looked like he was about to faint. A gaze of fear reflected onto his face, afraid of what I could possibly do to him. What was it that he feared? What was it that truly ailed him? I had my arms out, hoping that he would come over to me, hoping that I would take care of him.
Slanky seemed to be clutching his blanket ever so tightly, fearing what I may possibly be capable of. He seemed to be avoiding the eye contact I was trying to give him. I kept the smile going on my face.
“Slanky, remember me. I’m the one that gave you the picture,”I said. Well, perhaps I didn’t quite do much beyond that. Suddenly I felt bad—for all the times that Slanky had been made fun of. For all the times that Slanky had suffered under the oppression of the doctors or the other kids at the hospital, I just couldn’t help but feel bad for him.
“Hey! Come back here!” I cried. I thought maybe he was gone for good as he rushed in the middle of the night. Where was he going to go? Suits him if he doesn’t want to have all the food in the home he ought to know!
There was a part of me that burned to go out into the darkness. That yearned for the adventure of what lay beyond. I didn’t have the necessary means in order to reach there. I went out.
“Fine stay where you are,” I said. Maybe there really was a place that he can find in the middle of the growing world around me.
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