Inside my room, I turned up my headphones to eleven as I tried to read off some of the texts coming from my parents.
How are you doing? I paused before that message, wondering how I should answer it respective to them.
Ok, I typed. Why did they even bother with me anymore? They were the ones that had sent me to this school in the first place.
That’s good! My mother said. More blank space.
Are you making any friends? Shifting inside my seat some more. Typing.
Not really.
Why is that?
I just…the school was just really strict…
In what way? Looking away from the screen, I wondered what I should tell her. My fingers fidgeted over the screen.
Sometimes you have nothing to say.
Honey, really, is everything ok? I panicked as I shut down the phone from my mother.
***
Riding my bike through the night always seemed to give me some kind of fluidity for me. Cruising down the sidewalks always gave me a rush of energy as I rode down the lanes next to the school. I tried remembering the last time that I had entered into a school building—the last time I had actually been a part of a group and made friends among people.
Mind blanked. Only the wringing hands of bruises and hurt are what came up as I struggled to come to terms with those memories.
Wiping hands on my pants. Ok, let’s just pretend something like this never happened. Pedaling my bike across the street. Everything looks so different when compared to the day. Keeps thinking back to school. Wonders if I am trapped forever inside of the psychologist’s institution. Stops bike for a moment. My eyes widen as I wait, looking out into the empty sky.
Several pathways opened up to me. I always wondered what would happen if I walked down one of them. What was beyond any of them? Was there something out there?
I stepped forward, desiring to ride my bike down the path. The wants pumped through my body—to just be free from the medical institution that held me prisoner. I started pedaling down one of the paths. My body moved faster and faster as I gained more momentum in my biking. Faster. Faster. Faster. Breathing sped up like a tape recorder fast-forwarding. Cruising down the alley, I felt like the buildings were getting more and more unfamiliar. Flickers of light shined out from the windows, replacing the dead silence from what I was familiar with.
People walked out into the night. Crowds of them. I paused with my bike parked against the wall, frightened to come out of the hiding place. Flashes of light burst into my eyes. I watched the people laugh and dance as I sat in the distance, a wall preventing me from going to the other side.
Bake shops with cakes and pastries were set up on the side of the festival. I could see woman and man. Man and man. Woman and woman. Everyone dancing hand-in-hand. I crept a little bit closer. Every year they had this festival. Every year, I would see the flashes of light from the corner of this pathway, but it was only now could I really see the lights for myself.
11:52. Time was really pressing. I slapped my hand on the watch, struggling between going back and spending time here.
CRASH! My eyes darted to the direction of the cymbal crash. I looked over just in time to see the drummer smashing his sticks against the drum head. How could something that seemed so destructive also be so beautiful? The rhythm that played on the hi-hat and the snare drum. The rhythm he played with his sticks continued to permeate through my ears far more than the rest of the riffs that the band played.
It was only a short time that the guitarist played that I found myself running back. 12:00. Nurse Shannon was going to kill me if I didn’t make it back to the hospital.
***
“You didn’t go out, did you?” Nurse Shannon asked. “At least not too far, I hope.”
“Nothing, I promised, lying in my bed. The doctor gave me a suspicious look before she left me behind. I sat up and had the book to my face.
And the brave Leonardo drew his sword and began to launch himself into the air, hurling himself towards the dragon at bay.” I read and I read and I read, not even stopping to see how long I was superseding my bed time.
“And as he raised the sword to slit open the dragon’s throat, he cried these words: “EX CALEUM MUNCHO!” It was a cry that echoed through the entirety of the room. Finally, the dragon lay on the ground, having been taken out by the knight.” It was too much for me to resist. I loved this so much. Reading had been an escape for me ever since I had been little, and still to this very day, I felt like I could just open up myself to the words on the page and become immersed inside of the dwellings of the battleground; the fire spouting out from the surroundings of the knight and the dragon. The powerful twin beams that came out of the dragon’s eyes. My breath panicked. What if the knight were to jump out of the book? What if he came to train me to help him fight against the dragons? The possibilities were endless.
Inside my room, I turned up my headphones to eleven as I tried to read off some of the texts coming from my parents.
How are you doing? I paused before that message, wondering how I should answer it respective to them.
Ok, I typed. Why did they even bother with me anymore? They were the ones that had sent me to this school in the first place.
That’s good! My mother said. More blank space.
Are you making any friends? Shifting inside my seat some more. Typing.
Not really.
Why is that?
I just…the school was just really strict…
In what way? Looking away from the screen, I wondered what I should tell her. My fingers fidgeted over the screen.
Sometimes you have nothing to say.
Honey, really, is everything ok? I panicked as I shut down the phone from my mother.
***
Riding my bike through the night always seemed to give me some kind of fluidity for me. Cruising down the sidewalks always gave me a rush of energy as I rode down the lanes next to the school. I tried remembering the last time that I had entered into a school building—the last time I had actually been a part of a group and made friends among people.
Mind blanked. Only the wringing hands of bruises and hurt are what came up as I struggled to come to terms with those memories.
Wiping hands on my pants. Ok, let’s just pretend something like this never happened. Pedaling my bike across the street. Everything looks so different when compared to the day. Keeps thinking back to school. Wonders if I am trapped forever inside of the psychologist’s institution. Stops bike for a moment. My eyes widen as I wait, looking out into the empty sky.
Several pathways opened up to me. I always wondered what would happen if I walked down one of them. What was beyond any of them? Was there something out there?
I stepped forward, desiring to ride my bike down the path. The wants pumped through my body—to just be free from the medical institution that held me prisoner. I started pedaling down one of the paths. My body moved faster and faster as I gained more momentum in my biking. Faster. Faster. Faster. Breathing sped up like a tape recorder fast-forwarding. Cruising down the alley, I felt like the buildings were getting more and more unfamiliar. Flickers of light shined out from the windows, replacing the dead silence from what I was familiar with.
People walked out into the night. Crowds of them. I paused with my bike parked against the wall, frightened to come out of the hiding place. Flashes of light burst into my eyes. I watched the people laugh and dance as I sat in the distance, a wall preventing me from going to the other side.
Bake shops with cakes and pastries were set up on the side of the festival. I could see woman and man. Man and man. Woman and woman. Everyone dancing hand-in-hand. I crept a little bit closer. Every year they had this festival. Every year, I would see the flashes of light from the corner of this pathway, but it was only now could I really see the lights for myself.
11:52. Time was really pressing. I slapped my hand on the watch, struggling between going back and spending time here.
CRASH! My eyes darted to the direction of the cymbal crash. I looked over just in time to see the drummer smashing his sticks against the drum head. How could something that seemed so destructive also be so beautiful? The rhythm that played on the hi-hat and the snare drum. The rhythm he played with his sticks continued to permeate through my ears far more than the rest of the riffs that the band played.
It was only a short time that the guitarist played that I found myself running back. 12:00. Nurse Shannon was going to kill me if I didn’t make it back to the hospital.
***
“You didn’t go out, did you?” Nurse Shannon asked. “At least not too far, I hope.”
“Nothing, I promised, lying in my bed. The doctor gave me a suspicious look before she left me behind. I sat up and had the book to my face.
And the brave Leonardo drew his sword and began to launch himself into the air, hurling himself towards the dragon at bay.” I read and I read and I read, not even stopping to see how long I was superseding my bed time.
“And as he raised the sword to slit open the dragon’s throat, he cried these words: “EX CALEUM MUNCHO!” It was a cry that echoed through the entirety of the room. Finally, the dragon lay on the ground, having been taken out by the knight.” It was too much for me to resist. I loved this so much. Reading had been an escape for me ever since I had been little, and still to this very day, I felt like I could just open up myself to the words on the page and become immersed inside of the dwellings of the battleground; the fire spouting out from the surroundings of the knight and the dragon. The powerful twin beams that came out of the dragon’s eyes. My breath panicked. What if the knight were to jump out of the book? What if he came to train me to help him fight against the dragons? The possibilities were endless.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
