09.118Please respect copyright.PENANAUP9ITZx4HJ
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課業繁重,人際不順,升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子,因此即使是夏油傑,我也沒向他吐露半點不快。118Please respect copyright.PENANAgz1QBW8EwF
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又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下,他自然地拿走我的包,一手牽起我,帶著我走往熟悉的方向。118Please respect copyright.PENANABijun5laCZ
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傑。我突然停下腳步,輕聲喊他。118Please respect copyright.PENANADTV9XFT44D
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他回頭看向我,「嗯?」118Please respect copyright.PENANAJmFJk8IIt8
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盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗,我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧?我問。118Please respect copyright.PENANA5UroPqK73b
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「怎麼了?」118Please respect copyright.PENANAsaPIpjCIvt
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沒什麼,我搖搖頭,「太熱了,捨不得你等。」118Please respect copyright.PENANA2q44crepPs
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暑夏已至,正是咒靈好發的時節,夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他,很難察覺他具體的改變,但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。118Please respect copyright.PENANAXRnfvsOZdv
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「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。118Please respect copyright.PENANAsCcAhVpUEW
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騙人,你話都變少了。我說,「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAYaWnqTjA6N
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「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好,語帶撒嬌,「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」118Please respect copyright.PENANAbUqimuydFi
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經我這麼一插科打諢,氣氛總算有所緩和。118Please respect copyright.PENANAmpcxQRU7Mt
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不過我真的很擔心你,我說。又是苦夏嗎?118Please respect copyright.PENANAOyevX8sHIH
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他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外,「那挑一天來我家吧?我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣?」118Please respect copyright.PENANAkemzrZhIXu
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夏油傑凝視我,他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲,柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣,近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。118Please respect copyright.PENANA9HQ3dhAgEd
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「除了冰鎮西瓜以外,還想吃什麼?」118Please respect copyright.PENANA9Dih5KVOlv
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「唔,綠豆湯吧。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAoTFW2WVpbR
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「好呀,那蕎麥麵呢?」118Please respect copyright.PENANAjRHNWENx8B
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「也要。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAumaSDEISRQ
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圍繞在他身邊,我一路叨叨絮絮,像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒;而他背對夕色,看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。118Please respect copyright.PENANAsb124toNEL
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我永遠不會忘記這一刻。118Please respect copyright.PENANAxROeFodAX7
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從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間,我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。118Please respect copyright.PENANAK1YsHEt2pX
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但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注,但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡,我卻突然有了新的看法。118Please respect copyright.PENANAOM2Yf5bsSM
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我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話,一起去逛喜歡的店家,假日偶爾約出去吃飯;放學走在熟悉的小徑上,我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花,是我喜歡的顏色。118Please respect copyright.PENANASQudA7guEM
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流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑,不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人,但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上,看每一場東升西落;想跟他一起手牽著手,走過長長的街道。118Please respect copyright.PENANAT6MMmFgzky
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正因為聚少離多,所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。118Please respect copyright.PENANAaNY1WpwHZj
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「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。118Please respect copyright.PENANAMjc02BaNQB
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愛是彌補彼此的缺陷,是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己,心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。118Please respect copyright.PENANAwUl64Y4rPw
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「愛的本質?」118Please respect copyright.PENANAxzRVEwGVEu
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「是啊。」我回應他,「我覺得愛是寬容。」118Please respect copyright.PENANASVTuMQ7Dhi
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放你飛翔,做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色,以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧?118Please respect copyright.PENANAIHaH6g8PZ3
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「……你說的對。」半晌,他回應我。118Please respect copyright.PENANAWGjuryP7VO
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再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。118Please respect copyright.PENANAzPcxXrW4Ri
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「新年快樂。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAY5tSzbOoQG
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站在我家門口,他身影單薄,臉上的微笑仍然好看。118Please respect copyright.PENANAlLf8M3OEuc
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很難肯定是不是錯覺,但是幾月不見的夏油傑,我的男友,我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。118Please respect copyright.PENANAbrgGQ4bDFV
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我看著他,最後只能擠出一個微笑。118Please respect copyright.PENANAZBy46QMW3o
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「新年快樂,傑。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAiTWiHnkjf3
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──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。118Please respect copyright.PENANAi6uxAPrCf3
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10.118Please respect copyright.PENANARWIylfit5w
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一如季節更迭,事物在等速流逝的時間裡緩慢改變,例如漸老的容顏、轉枯的綠葉、凋萎的花朵──萬物自誕生於世的那刻起──滴答、滴答──前進的秒針掩去真理的聲音,遙遠的距離模糊微弱的求救;定格於三月的紫色下落不明,而愛無聲無息地死在暗隅。118Please respect copyright.PENANApkDXdUu377
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是什麼時候的事?118Please respect copyright.PENANALFmw0BB4wF
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攔在身前的手臂強而有力,夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸,原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。118Please respect copyright.PENANAzp1emBcmB0
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「你要求的。」他說,「明明可以不用這麼痛苦。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAlL9BeVoVOL
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溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面,也說不出隻字片語,連思考都費力,更枉論掙扎。118Please respect copyright.PENANA35HmkgXdTx
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就這樣吧。118Please respect copyright.PENANAeWeVGLM8XL
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指針重疊,午夜的鐘聲響起,魔法在此刻失效。118Please respect copyright.PENANAgYLDZmQ0y9
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萬物終將腐爛。118Please respect copyright.PENANACsSmBIO6di
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09寫完也放一陣子了……不知道從哪裡修,總之先放上來了,之後有機會再翻修。118Please respect copyright.PENANAqRP558UyAS
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簡述一下10的部分(自己感覺寫得滿亂的)118Please respect copyright.PENANAp60XGb9SdJ
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前面主要在講時間流逝會「影響人的感知」,以及「改變很多事情」,但因為這種改變是很難被察覺的,所以妹(我)對於關係的變質毫無所覺。118Please respect copyright.PENANA4g2Vhzaei1
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最後一句「萬物終將腐爛」是在接續「萬物自誕生於世的那刻起」,同時也是指「真理」,主要是想表達「萬物在誕生之後,就是在走向毀滅、死亡」,就跟食物有保存期限、人最後都會死的概念是雷同的,但如前面所提,我們很難感知時間的流逝,所以才在文中寫「真理的聲音被滴答前進的秒針掩去」。118Please respect copyright.PENANArgQ1CViAeA
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「遙遠的距離模糊微弱的求救」是講妹跟夏油的距離。這邊的「距離」除了指空間上的距離以外,同時也是指「術師」與「普通人」之間的差距。同樣坐在虹龍上的兩人,妹可以像是坐在空氣上一樣,低頭將城市夜景盡收眼底,然而夏油低頭,卻注定會有隻咒靈阻礙他的視線。這種天然的、與生俱來的隔閡,總有一天會讓他們走上背離彼此的道路。118Please respect copyright.PENANAiGsmgzeizg
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「定格於三月的紫色」是妹畢業時,夏油送她的紫色永生花,花語是對感情的永久承諾,這段劇情是在上次更新時補進去的(請回頭詳見06)118Please respect copyright.PENANAhhM47oEG44
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最後一段的午夜鐘聲用了灰姑娘的故事,十二點後魔法失效,指美好的事物不再,一切都會破碎的意思,而萬物終將腐爛。118Please respect copyright.PENANAgm77HMNIxX
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(&兩章都藏了一些細節,不知道會不會有人發現!找到的話可以跟我分享~)118Please respect copyright.PENANAna6y4LBRqa
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祝閱讀愉快。118Please respect copyright.PENANAGP2uN17R6A
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231118 梔涼|匿名交流單