09.166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9JVCdpUzP
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLQjFxTcEf
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDX22bVERb
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sNqHQocc0
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKjQaKKy5P
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYe5lgzoCK
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8wHWFCFJx
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhAkt8ZBw1
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuzYIFH35o
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7gdHjYMTo
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNOaWSbwp3
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6JoeLqP9g
「怎麼了？」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBOHdZY8qJ
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gsyTqFoks
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhr3wDjDNL
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡew1iLLee7R
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFZ9jOHzaB
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlvX3X4i4Q
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzXfKdF3W0
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPWk5oPaz9
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nwG2GApmh
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0rnWsFVCD
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQ1wkbuqg7
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuM7r1F0R5B
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStcgKkjF0t
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdsgJsa6YC
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFMZipbjwN
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRalDzbxQsy
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4k8duVDMHn
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkA0LgCSnsq
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAX6HtajeyI
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wdp9nUIov
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPE5EHVHfP
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsitTrEORwx
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXytw23TFk
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIrylspJfr
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVlrlSEEqY
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13GbQPltVM
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2zWrEs7Nb
「也要。」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SQCM6wtCY
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOhvEGkrOY
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuYxKB6Zpr
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2Egp2fhz6
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBZqrTtoik
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBRUg2pVbZ
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9myNduQtEv
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyhx9Skzg9
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2jgODOloK
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZuZFJKeEh
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgMbfXIVLd
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYTkodxsXY
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrHjc6LOsn
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55sShVgV0z
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYnDaVwW5A
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5j1Z5iGto
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDMr0vVbCp
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXQerSW3YD
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyOqni7y1U
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnj1Bf3vSbu
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ERcJvzF0B
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vFXAfCnSo
「愛的本質？」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVJrBgk5er
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIIvqnKbg2
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlGTQ7lBjb
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ufrh9c5Ed
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGNlY1hsAA
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmBclTYvFU
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74GUU4oI9h
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqq1gDDpSnS
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgpBjhngnN
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQ4OH6KgD0
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltj3nPaxOn
「新年快樂。」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFmNjQqIqe
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9XpkKez1y
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoihRPeEGN
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjAJCKqvA1
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNW6WrpY85O
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUuRFEYaz6
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7oatvXhf6
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dmzibl9Nh
「新年快樂，傑。」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubw5s9FIVU
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhDSealYAr
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQ8348ENF4
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3P3PrYguV
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGYuviGraf
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUAtmQ1iQw
10.166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRrf5SyRPJ
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6EKP7fsZg
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjja2epLuP
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0lQS4ljWa
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSfjMcXsZX
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRnChgJSO2
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf313dKeVlQ
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzbMsgJj7D
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o0TonMgoV
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuJQnewJDk
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFajDpqcvPl
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9invTXzuD9
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyEsXSyqe5
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKvNB6uyH3
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAciDpcGzMJ
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRgcsTkJ9g
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7q4wG2Dx2
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBqPsVO6Aw
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHpkuGOAUR
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxVReFzE4e
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3t8V0TN12
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOqXcWd7rf
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCV13saMpoy
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNonRx7EkrZ
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix1RyZkY1w
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWxoFzoXtF
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgj4LBjqej
他對我說：不進來嗎？166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7k7nbzTFeL
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOmhdWreN5
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnKFxgelJe
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLrB5aiKTk
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqlkhEyv5W
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsmFxY9HzF
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7s9TnwJ4P
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QfvoyWrNh
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTro3yplq1
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDR2mYIqEdT
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4fF1juuFa
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh81DobLVJ
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tPflHIBeh
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HnmLz9QwH
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQmjkaLyOz
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCzWgQmgY3
我好像從未了解過他。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOW8MAHesL
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINTZC5kLHL
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtomIyDTJzS
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeZYyAPgI3
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQ9iewj8O3
「是你嗎？」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFa5vWZdkX
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqeerfNbvW
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sJ5HFNvvQ
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFDWUTW5XM
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTZ2f6m4iX
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7w0GGO4bh
夏油傑笑了一下。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0f7uqYC7S
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfIVLv4xFp
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxHUVsC07X
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipfjB0iPTH
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMBWbeZaq0
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kc5lTo2ZW
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgLQJConSg
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvD9XiT6CT
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBy6DQMWg5
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1p8xO3AVtU
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqrNKg0uil
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡortelpQxYh
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2PtdI9i45
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRgxHxMIFH
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5tWg8AAhS
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRcqiIQwzy
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7oXR5iFSS
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaqQdPmhmx
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JnpbS1mvJ
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhusUnOtx0
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WQ8eE4Nrc
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O33n7eY82
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoR3XZz8Gs0
就這樣吧。166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTpisk0osi
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XEKlToxHU
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPt0rT9WkR
166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYF1NUERTT5
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單166Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx9xkPB3Fo
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