The audience lights came to life and I looked towards the director’s booth and frowned when Simon wasn’t there. I turned to see Tigan looking smugly at me.
‘Looking for our director are we? Any par-ticular reason sweetheart?’
I raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, much to her apparent amusement.
‘Oh? No biting reply?’
‘None that would receive any kindness,’ I sighed.
‘Indeed,’ Simon said behind me, making me jump three meters in the air.
‘Si-Si-Simon! Don’t do that!’
He chuckled but had the decency to look down. ‘I just wanted to come here to thank you,’
‘For what?’ I asked, not expecting that.
‘Indeed, something I should know? A… celebration? Should I book a church?’ I fought the urge to scream a battle cry and fly into her tower, throttling her to silence. We both knew what she meant, and my feelings for Simon aside, that was low.
He smiled at Tigan, seemingly unaware of the meaning underlining her words. ‘We are ready.’
Tigan’s eyes shone and both she and Simon shared a moment of spotlight insanity. I felt the butterflies in my stomach jump and settle.
‘I came to thank you for your hard work and dedication to this production.’ Simon continued, looking straight at me.
‘The closer to thank the better it seems,’ Tigan snickered.
‘You think?’ Simon asked, before zipping down the stairs of my tower.
‘No!’ Tigan screeched, darting to the opening of her tower as if to bar his way. I just laughed, realising he had definitely read between the lines of her words.
‘Little Moon, Little Moon let me come in!’ Simon’s voice yelled behind her.
‘Not by the scowl of her chini chin, chin,’ I laughed.
‘Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll lesson her pay!’
‘Okay, okay,’ Tigan sighed, moving from the doorway, ‘enough bantering between you two!’
Simon smiled at me and I smiled back, his eyes twinkled and surged forward, picking up Tigan, heavy dress and all.
‘Simon!’ Tigan howled, ‘Put. Me. Down!! NOW!’
‘You might tear the dress,’ I told him, leaning over my tower for a closer view. .
‘YES! TH-THE DRESSSSS!’ Tigan yelled in his ear.
‘What’s the magic word?’ He asked sweetly.
‘Plllleeeeeaaassseee!’
Simon chuckled and put her down, smoothing back his hair and stuttered out of her tower as if nothing had happened.
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Tigan shivered and looked back at the tower doorway, before turning on me.
‘This is YOUR fault! He was PERFECTLY FINE until you started playing around with him! DON’T MUCK THIS UP FOR ME! It’s NOT fair!’ Her inconsistent yelling proved to me how startled she was.
‘Just goes to show, Tigan,’ I said, holding onto my stomach, a stupid grin plastered on my face. ‘You shouldn’t insult the Director.’
‘Pft!’ she turned her back on me, recovered. ‘We are opposites, makes sense for me to insult him, makes it easier for you to flatter him.’ She smiled, happy with her apparent insult before strutting down the stairs.
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I gripped the balcony, angry at her, but more importantly – furious at myself. She kept getting to me; every word she spoke, every action she took was to push me further away. And I let her. I let her expand this little word into something I couldn’t stand beside. And I hated it. I hated being the thing she shied away from or insulted, excluded and glared at. I had become something she used to pivot her character, away from the golden girl I loved. The laugher died on my lips, amusement fading from my eyes. I was the instrument to her destruction. I began to fall before my reflexes could catch me. Sometimes your mind couldn’t hold both your body and your emotions in at the same time. My dress sighed, kissing the tower’s floor and folding in on itself. I tried to grasp a thought, a feeling, a hope of her, anything to hold onto and cherish of her. Of my Tigan.
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‘Janna!’ Hands gripped under my arms and strained there, forcing my feet under me.
‘Your- d-dress,’ he puffed, blowing lace out of his face.
I stood carefully, pulling away from Simon.
‘Why are you here?’ I demanded, folding my arms across my chest, ‘shouldn’t you be doing something ?!’ My voice rose to a screech and he backed slowly away.
‘Janna I-’
‘Look, I can’t do this! I can’t look at you and see her, I just need time I –’ He smiled crookedly, though hurt flared in his eyes.
‘It’s not you!’ I cried out, reaching out for him, ‘you’re wonderful! I’m just, well…’ Bashfully I felt ashamed, dropping my arms and looking down at the ground, away from those pained eyes.
‘Not me?’ he asked, walking into my space bubble, ‘well?’ I turned my head away, squeezing my arms tighter around myself.
‘I’m sorry,’ I mumbled, ‘ignore me.’
He reached out his hands, holding them out palm first. I looked around the stage, searching for someone to judge me. When I turned to him, his face gentle, his eyes beseeching, I found I didn’t care anymore.
‘Pure one, Lady Luna, why do you fear joy apart from sadness? You cannot be alone when the stars twinkle their grins, their constellations heralding your glory.’ He whispered, meeting my eyes as I pressed my hands to his. He curled his fingers in-between my own, pulling me closer, wrapping an arm around my waist. I breathed in sharply and he slowed, cupping my cheek as though I was made of glass. He moved slowly, painfully slowly.
‘I am sorry Janna,’ he said simply, stroking my cheek. I could feel callouses of a man who held his pen too tightly, raised ridges along his thumb.
‘What for?’ I sniffed.
‘Among many things,’ he said softly, leaning in so close I could count his eyelashes, ‘for not ignoring you as I should.’ I bit my lip and he made a strange noise, a deep resonating sound deep in his throat.
‘What?’ I whispered, eyes flickering across his face.
‘You’re so beautiful Janna; so incredibly passionate and pure, I feel as though one touch and I will break you into a thousand pieces.’
‘Hold me tighter then,’ I whispered, ‘hold me together.’
He pulled me that inch closer, crushing me into his chest, his arms wrapping protectively around me like the bars of a carnival ride.
‘Um, Si-Simon, dress – ’
He pulled back a fraction, childlike confusion written across his face.
‘The really expensive dress I’m wearing’ I explained, ‘is getting crushed.’
He jumped back, arms slipping free as he stared at me from the mouth of the tower’s stairs.
‘Right,’ he said, nervously, ‘that’s why I stopped you falling after all.’
I moved closer to him, making him fall back a step, ‘is that all?’
‘Well…’ He smiled, now level with my face, ‘I had another purpose in mind.’
‘Oh?’ I asked curiously, watching a cheeky grin rise up and over his cheekbones. ‘What did you have in mind?’
Something shifted in his face for a moment, hazel eyes clearing and catching me off guard. Just as he leaned in. Being a playwright I suppose dramatic timing was his specialty, pulling me closer to him as he kissed me. He guided my body to the inner wall of the tower, holding me there with his own as he pressed his hands on the down sloping wall either side of my head inside the tower.
‘Is this where I ask you to help me with my lines?’ I asked softly, breaking the kiss.
He smirked down at me, ‘I don’t kiss all my actors.’
‘Just the good looking ones.’
‘You’re the one kissing a stalker.’
‘I led you to my house – so you’re a wanted stalker.’
‘Like a wanted poster?’
I reached up to slide a finger down his prominent, however masculine nose, ‘they just can’t get my nose right,’ I recited innocently.
‘Are you quoting Flynn Rider?!’ he asked, astonished, ‘how old are you?!’
I breathed in his rustic aftershave, running a hand fearlessly down his chest to place flat just below his ribs. He looked down to watch my progression and I flicked his nose with a downturned hand.
‘Dishonour!’ I crowed, ‘dishonour on your whole family! Dishonour on You! Dishonour on your cow!’
‘You shouldn’t talk about Tigan like that.’ He replied nasally, stepping back and holding his nose. I hit him on the shoulder for the remark and descended the stairs, forcing him to take one step to my every three due to the train of my dress.
We exited the stairway and met the smouldering eyes of my makeup artist, eyebrows drawn together to match her scowl.
‘Look at your dress!’ Laura cried dramatically, tiptoeing closer to me and falling to her knees, taking rumbled cloth in her hands.
‘I’m sorry Lau-’
‘This is going to take me hours to fix! Hours!’ She shrieked, trailing off when she found a small stain near my elbow from where I had leaned on the tower wall.
‘How?’ she demanded, scratching lightly over the grey coloured patch, ‘what even is this?’ She circled around me, finding similar stains along the back of the dress.
‘Err...’ I looked at Simon who was changing colours like a chameleon. White to red, red to grey.
‘Plaster,’ he mumbled, ‘from the tower wall.’
‘Well…’ her face changed from teary to shrewd, stepping back to take us in. ‘Next time you need quality time please don’t take it in a dress that costs half of my combined salary.’
‘Noted,’ Simon said quickly, ‘thankyou for all your efforts, this production could not take off without dedicated-’
‘Save it,’ she said, turning back to the dress, ‘I know how important I am.’ I rung my hands like a student before a principle, knowing she was taking in every ruffled cuff of the dress, every minor detail not up to her perfect standard.
‘C’mon Janna,’ she said, curling manicured fingers around my arm, ‘I’ll feel better when I have fixed the damage.’
Placidly I let her drag me from Simon’s side, throwing an apologetic smile over my shoulder.
‘Dinner?’ he asked, trotting after us, ‘I’ll pick you up from your dressing-’
‘Does he know where you live?’ Laura cut in, leading us out of the theatre.
‘Yeah?’ I looked at Simon for confirmation and he shrugged and nodded. ‘Yeah he does.’
‘Good – pick her up from there at 6pm. I want to be left alone with the dress and get it up and running.’
‘It’s not a car,’ I said gently and she glared at me.
‘Musicians have their instruments and mechanics have their vehicles, leave me be with my expensive gowns!’ She glowered and I nodded mutely.
‘See you then Janna,’ Simon smiled, winking at me and causing a giggled.
‘Sorry again,’ he said to Laura and she raised an eyebrow as though to say that will fix what exactly?
He walked away, his long strides taking him further then four of my own.
‘You’re in so much trouble,’ Laura said, turning so I could see the excitement bubbling up and over her anticipating expression.
I sighed dramatically, ‘you never ask me about my acting anymore.’
‘The moment making out with your director comes into the script I’ll pay rapt attention.’
My sigh became heavier as I let her lead me into our dressing room.
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