Edgar peered down at the petite brunette girl before him, and eyebrow raised.
"Do you need something?" As he asked, he squinted his eyes, reading her aura. He was surprised to find a pinkish hue exuding from her chest. A fairy? On his doorstep? Was she coming to take his teeth or grant him wishes?
"Uhm. Are you not Edgar Hale? You look like his profile picture... Better, even." At this point, the girl's cheeks were blood red, and she kept looking down at her feet and back up at him. Was she a bloody teenager? Regardless, he was suspicious of her. Yet, at the same time, he wanted to know where she saw a profile of him of all people, and why she was showing up on his doorstep.
"I am he..." He leaned on the door, revealing a space for her to step inside. "You can come in if you like."
"Oh. Well, sure." The fairy stepped inside, her doe-like gaze sweeping the room. Edgar quietly shut the door behind her.
"Let me go throw something on real quick," Edgar told her, moving to his room. He dug out a plain black t-shirt, throwing it on. He spotted Barry on his bed, giving him a guilty grin.
"So. What's your first impression of Clover the Fairy?"
...It all suddenly clicked into place for Edgar. He glared intensely at Barry.
"What in God's name did you do." It wasn't even a question. It was a command. Edgar pointed an accusing finger at the familiar, daring him to even think about holding anything back.
"Me? Why I didn't do anything, of course." Barry stood up, sitting on his haunches. His grin faded. "What happened was that Edgar Hale found a hidden link to a dating site for supernaturals on the Deep Web. He made an account, and started talking to ladies. Of course, he only picked one that would suit him best for the task at hand. Which has a deadline, incase little old Edgar forgot."
"Oh my God Barry." Edgar would have screamed at him if there wasn't a complete stranger sitting in his living room right now. "Why Barry. Why would you do this to me?"
"Because. Let's be honest. You're never going to find a girl and break her heart in six months. At least not without a little help." Barry's grin began spreading across his maw. It was a wicked grin. "Now you have a cute and completely innocent girl to shatter, and you don't have to do it to somebody you already know. You're welcome."
Edgar couldn't believe Barry actually did this. Really, he appreciated his effort, but that girl in there was going to figure out he was not the same person she chatted with online!
"At least give me a quick run down. What have you told her about me, and what has she told you about herself?" Edgar's tone was pleading.
"I told her that you are extremely into BDSM. Nothing like being strapped down and whipped into submission, right?"
"BARRY!" Edgar's self-control faltered. He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why are you like this?" He calmly asked.
"Hey, now! No need to scream! I was just kidding. Jackass." Barry held up one of his front paws as if he was surrendering. "I actually told her that you're a witch. I also told her some things about me... Don't worry, they were things you'd realistically say about me. Like," Barry paused to clear his throat. He then spoke in a very low pitched voice that sounded stupid. He was trying to mock Edgar's voice, essentially. "Baaaaaarry. Why would you do that, Baaaarry? You're a terrible person, Baaaaarry. I don't want the corpses of mice you worked your ass off to acquire and place under my pillow, Baaaarry."
"Come on. I never seriously tell you awful things like that."
"... Even so, they hurt my poor fragile feelings, Ed. You're the reason I have crippling depression and have to look at memes all day while you're gone to bring some comfort and joy into my miserable four-legged existence," Barry said without even pausing for breath.
Edgar face palmed. He knew Barry was joking, of course, but that did not stop Edgar from wanting to choke Barry.
"Okay. Just stop, Barry. Tell me what else I need to know." At this point, he was sure Clover was getting suspicious, and he needed to make this snappy.
"Okay. Uh. Her full name if Clover Blue. She's super sweet, super awkward. Very reserved. So don't try conning her into your bed after the first date for both her sake and the sake of my carefully preserved innocence."
"Barry. You're about as innocent as the Devil."
"Let me dream, okay?" Barry chuckled before continuing. "She loves animals,-" Edgar interrupted him right there.
"That's the sole reason you picked her isn't it?"
"Uhm. No." Even as Barry said this, Edgar stared him down. He knew Barry better than that.
"Okay fine, it's like fifty percent of the reason I chose her. Because if you ever get a girl that even eyeballs me with distaste, I will claw those eyeballs of hers out and feed them to Jerry the crow." Edgar didn't even want to know who Jerry the crow was.
"Anyways," Barry continued. "She's also a country girl. Originates from the backwoods of West-By-Golly-Virginia. Just moved here six months ago." Barry paused there, a thoughtful expression on his feline face. "Oh! And she loves, loves, loves apples, and everything to do with apples. There's an apple pie in the fridge." Edgar didn't recall buying any apple pie since his last couple shopping trips...
"How even do you do these things, Barry?"
"I whip my slaves into submission and make them do things for me."
"Stop it with the BDSM jokes, Barry."
"Okay, I actually am just a God. That's it. My final answer." Barry's tone remained neutral as he spoke. "But that doesn't matter. Go work your magic or whatever." Edgar shook his head as he turned to leave. How did Barry manage to do any of this? He doesn't even have thumbs!
Edgar returned to his living room, spotting Clover sitting on the couch. Her posture was stiff, nervous. She was eyeing the many paintings adorning his wall. They were the only ones that properly reached his standards of quality among the many that lay tucked away at the very bottom of his closet. Though looking at them now, he saw all the tiny flaws that he'd never fix. Spots where he didn't blend to just the right color, or where the lines just weren't clean enough to meet his standards... Things nobody but he would ever notice.
"Was that your companion you were yelling at?" Clover asked this without glancing away from his paintings.
"Yeah... He's batshit crazy."
"Ah. I understand. I have a few garden sprites who act the same way." Clover couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the paintings. "They're even more beautiful in person, you know." Edgar didn't even want to know how Barry managed to get pictures of his work to her.
"Thank you. They're pretty old though. Haven't done much more than sketches in recent months. Busy with work, and all."
"Oh? Can I see them?"
As much as he wasn't comfortable with the idea of sharing his works in progress with anyone, he figured he'd as well. The whole point of this is to build something with the chick, right? He moved over to the couch, crouching down. He reached under the flap that barred the barren space beneath it, patting around for a moment. His hand touched the cardboard cover of his most recent sketchbook, tugging it out. He offered her the raggedy, half-full sketchbook.
"You want anything to drink?" He asked her as he watched her flip open his sketchbook, flicking through it.
"Nah. Thanks for the offer, though." Edgar shrugged, moving to sit next to her on the couch. He stretched his arm out on the back of the couch behind her, watching his previous works flash by.
And as she went on and on about how gorgeous his work was, even if they were unfinished sketches, Edgar hoped and silently prayed to God that Clover was not going to be more trouble than the job was worth. Yet, deep down, he trusted in Barry's choice. He may be been an asshole on the outside, but under the cold exterior and black heart, there was a bit of warmth in Barry. Besides. He was the smartest person Edgar knew. Surely he chose Clover for a reason.
When she'd finished looking through the sketchbook, she handed it back to Edgar, who gently slid it back under the couch where it belonged.
"So," Edgar began. For a brief second, panic overcame him as he struggled to find something to say to her. He spouted out the first thing that came to mind. "What do you do here in New York?"
Clover narrowed her eyes in a playful manner, smiling at him. "Didn't I already tell you that I opened a flower shop?" Shit, he thought to himself.
"Oh. Right. Yeah, I think you mentioned something about that, actually. My memory is terrible, sorry." It wasn't the truth, of course. Edgar's memory was pretty decent.
She giggled. "It's okay." She grinned. "I think it was really late when I mentioned it." Clover peered at him for a long moment, studying him. Edgar couldn't help but to feel mildly uncomfortable under her gaze. "What do you do?"
"I work as a shopkeeper's assistant." It wasn't a lie. Just not the whole truth... God, he was such a terrible person.
"Cool. Where do you work at?"
"In a pocket dimension. We sell magical reagents and all."
And so it went back and forth like that. They took turns asking questions about each other's lives. Of course, Edgar had to keep some of his past vague. The less she knew about him, the better. Though it would be difficult to keep his secrets over the course of the "relationship," he had to. He wasn't exactly looking forward to finding out what would happen if he didn't deliver the order to turban-lady.
Several hours later, he walked Clover home. Surprisingly, she lived only a few blocks down from him, in another apartment building. Edgar returned home after that, sighing in relief once he was back home.
Barry was sitting on the coffee table, washing himself. He glanced up when Barry walked in, his golden slit eyes glimmering with amusement.
"Sounds like things are going in your favor."
"For now," Edgar said, plopping on his couch. "She's going to figure out something sketchy is going on, you know."
"Psh. You're overthinking it bud! She's just a dumb fairy who clearly thinks she's in love with you." Barry laughed. "People who believe in love at first sight are sad."
Edgar glanced down at Barry as the white tabby jumped over to sit on the couch next to him. "Why's that?"
"Because they never see people like you coming, Ed."
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