"At least he doesn't eat children" James pointed out.
Three weeks were almost passed since we had found the diary, but whenever we were all alone, we always talked about the few pages we had read.
"Not yet" Jimmy grumbled.
"I don't get it" I finally spoke up. I've been meaning to say this for quite a long time and I couldn't keep it inside anymore. "What's all this fuss about? I don't think what we've read makes him a bad person".
"Seriously?" James lifted his eyebrows. "That guy learned black magic!"
"That guy" Thea said. Whenever she felt insecure, her voice was somehow high pitched. "We don't even know if it's Chaim".
"The diary was in Chaim's bedroom" Jimmy replied. "Why would he keep someone else's diary in his bedroom?"
"Even if it's really Chaim" I said stubbornly. "He didn't even want to learn black magic - he was sold by his parents! Could any of you do better in a situation like that? And he's a great teacher. He never taught us black magic. Once he said that in magic good always wins over evil. Why would he say something like that, unless he really meant it?"
"Maybe he was trying to trick us" James replied, biting his lip. He wasn't sure of it either.
"Trick us into doing what?" Thea was starting to get angry. We always agreed, well almost always, and every time she came to my aid in a discussion I knew I was right and I was going to win the argument. Because she was so much more clever than me and, also, even if it was hard to believe at first sight, slightly more aggressive.
"Listen" Thea said convincingly. "He's our teacher. If he loved the dark arts, why not teach them to us? Why bother telling us otherwise? I like Chaim and I think he's a good person. I'm shocked by his diary too, but because he had a life that I wouldn't wish on anybody, not because he's supposedly evil. Plus, we never read any further. What proves do we have that he had actually studied dark magic? As far as we know, he could have run away from home and started a new life".
I doubted that anyone was going to disagree, but even if they did want to say something, they didn't have the time. Someone swung the door open ungracefully.
It was Vits. His dirty blond hair was even messier than usual and he had a creepy smile.
"You guys need to come. Chaim needs your help".
We all followed. Honestly, I wished I could know what was happening because I thought something crazy must have been going on.
When we arrived at the front door, though, what we saw was quite common compared to my expectations.
Saba was staring at us with a strange look on her face: something between a lost puppy and a guilty criminal.
"Ever since I got here" she explained, shaking. "I became interested in magic and I was wondering if you would accept me as a fellow student".
I raised my eyebrows, surprised.
"It's never been up to us, to choose new students" I said, perhaps a little rudely.
"Hey thanks" Jimmy complained.
"I never said I wouldn't have chosen you" I clarified. "Especially you, Jimmy, you saved my life".
I realized how cheesy it actually sounded right after I said it. And besides, if there was somebody there who had changed significantly my life, it would have been Thea.
"What do you say guys?" Chaim smiled cheerfully. "I'm always happy to accept new students"
"We accept her" I declared. Sometimes I took the leader role for a series of reasons: I've been here the longest, I have a big mouth, I'm always talking anyway and, most importantly, the other guys let me do it.
Saba's deep dark eyes relaxed.
Vits smiled crookedly "Let's introduce ourselves. My name is Vits and I'm annoying, useless and dumb".
He was joking, of course. An awkward silence followed his words all the same. Besides, if anybody had wanted to say he wasn't any of that, they would have spoiled the joke.
Chaim smiled calmly "My name is Chaim and I am your teacher. Well, Vits teaches too".
Vits waved his hand dismissively "I am no fit to be a teacher".
"Yes, you are" Chaim replied with his eyes full of the usual admiration he had for Vits, which I still found a bit hard to understand at times.
"I am Oliver Edens. I am the first student but don't worry, you'll catch up with me in no time. I am learning all kinds of good magic, but my special power is mind reading".
Saba gasped and blushed. "Can you read minds? Like...read my mind right now?"
Of course, I was dumb enough not to understand how it must have sounded before saying it.
"No, no" I clarified. "It's just this thing I can do...this thing we all can do, but it's more my thing, basically I touch a person's head or forehead and, if I try hard enough, I can see flashbacks of their past or just, more generally, images of what they are thinking. It's not something you can really control, though, at least, I can't do it yet. I just get flooded with these information and feelings. It's also extremely draining, the first time almost killed me".
I realized everybody was looking at me pretty horrified. I had talked too much, said too much, shared too much. Of course.
Maybe it had something to do with my power. I was pretty good at understanding people, all things considered, and I just wanted to give them a fair shot at understanding me.
"I am Timothea Lewalski, but everybody calls me Thea" Thea offered. "I am Oliver's best friend and my main power is air".
"I am James Leedes" James said. "And I don't think I have any special power".
"You just haven't found it yet" Chaim stepped in. "Everybody is especially skilled in something. And sometimes it's also hard to recognize what you're good at - for example people who have water as a main power are particularly good at seeing the future... I'm just saying, sometimes things are linked in ways we cannot imagine. But you and Jimmy will find what you're especially great at, it just takes some time".
"Uhm, I am Jimmy" Jimmy explained uncomfortably. "Jimmy O'Leary".
"Do you remember my name?" Saba asked.
"Of course" Jimmy grinned. "You're Zaba Saman".
"What?" I blurted out.
"I'm just kidding" Jimmy shrugged. But he was blushing.
"You're Saba Zaman" I clarified, in case anyone else was wondering.
"And you're officially one of us" Thea smiled.
And she truly was.
For the following month, we basically just studied non-stop. Even magic was beginning to sound boring. As much as I loved all the other new students, it was quite annoying for me to start the lessons from scratch each time a new student came in. We only had one teacher, even though Vits stepped in sometimes, so he couldn't pay attention to all of us. James, Jimmy and Saba were bright kids, but nowhere as hardworking as Thea and I had been the first month we'd been here. That was only fair: it was not like we had had anything else to do anyway. But I was bored as hell.
That day Chaim was making sure everyone had finally learned the lesson he'd been trying to teach for the last couple of days.
"Who wrote Ultimatum by the Sea?" he asked gently.
I looked around, eager to let the other guys have a chance to show they were finally paying attention. Jimmy was sleeping, Saba was busy drawing and James was pretending he had lost something under the desk. Thea had asked to go to the restroom just before Chaim asked the question.
"Paul Roberto Tenney" I yawned, almost angrily. It came out as a tired snarl. Nothing against the other students, but it was like the hundredth time I answered that question and, as long as they weren't paying attention, this torture had to go on.
That day I made a decision. I started skipping almost all the lessons. I thought, and kind of almost wished, that Chaim would come to me and beg me to return to the lessons. After all, he just had to go through a few rooms, it was not like we didn't live in the same house. He didn't, though. He was all about making your own choices.
Of course, I still wanted to be a sorcerer. But I thought about it and I figured out that I could start taking magic lessons again in about three months and still be studying things I already knew.
The only downside was that Thea wasn't so eager to be my best friend anymore. She really liked the lessons. She once told me that the fact the other kids didn't know all the things she knew made her feel happy to help them when they needed a hand.
I yawned. The other activities were not exactly thrilling either.
"What can I do?" I asked EWAN, the only friend I had left.
"Well, Master Edens, you could be studying history right now".
"Ultimatum by the Sea, Paul Roberto Tenney" I answered, sarcastically.
EWAN didn't know what to say. That made me feel bad. Had I become so annoying that the only thing that wanted to spend time with me was a gardening robot, who was either too kind or had not enough words to choose from to reply when I snapped?
Even Vits, who publicly self described himself as annoying, didn't spend time with me. But I think this was an order from Chaim. The young, naive apprentice didn't need adult advice in forging his own path.
Well, I decided pettily, I wasn't going to pretend I even enjoyed their company anymore. But, of course, deep down their company was all I wanted.
One way to spend my time was sneaking in Chaim's bedroom and reading the diary. It was hard to tell if Chaim really wrote it, because the author didn't really mention his own name or the ones of the characters involved. At least so far, because I found out that not being able to tell my friends how the story went on spoiled almost all the fun in reading it. So, I hadn't done that much reading either. But the main character, who was still most likely Chaim, did study black magic after all. Thankfully, I can't say he enjoyed it. His teacher was very hard on him and when I read that, it made my heart ache. Mostly because I didn't want the main character, which I really liked, to be hurt and secondly because, even in all my pettiness, I had to admit my situation with my teacher was incomparable. Chaim was a really good person and that was what drew me away: he was so gentle, like the way he kept repeating everything over and over again for everyone to understand, that I just couldn't stand it. What did I want after all? I wasn't sure. I wanted fun, I wanted adventures. I wanted to be able to relate to someone else. I wanted to trust other people's kindness and to be able to be kind in return.
But I couldn't.
I did relate to one person, though. The boy in the diary, whoever he was, was very much like me. He was curious, he had guts, he was a little annoying and he really wanted to connect with people, but still remained a loner. He was mysterious and petty, but also gentle. He had a hard time trusting people too. Well, that was understandable considering all the abuse he'd been enduring from a very young age. I could blame the Blooms. They have never really liked me. Perhaps this had made my heart grow cold. But I felt that there was more to it. Something else I wasn't quite able to put my finger on.
As much as I hated the thought, however, I decided to stop reading the diary until Thea wanted to be my friend again. I didn't know how much I really needed to know who the author was, but I was becoming obsessed, and I knew I had no chance to figure it out on my own. Thea was the smartest person I knew and, even if the author would turn out to be just Chaim, she still deserved to know how the story went on.
I was so busy thinking this out that I didn't notice that Vits was headed in my direction. I had just left Chaim's bedroom and I hated how guilty that made me look. I really tried not to blush and I hoped it worked out.
Vits wasn't wondering what I was doing there, though. Or, if he was, he was really good at hiding it.
"Hi Oliver".
It had been so long since the last time I really talked to someone, not counting EWAN, who called me Master Edens, that I was almost surprised that Oliver was my own name, after all.
"Hey Vits" I tried to smile.
"Listen" he picked his next words carefully. "Chaim knows what you're going through. He understands that you are bored during the lessons. He wanted to let you know that if you wish to continue studying magic, you can do it on your own for a little while. Everything you need is in the library. Of course, that would be just theory and not practice, but it's still better than nothing".
"Thanks, I'll think about it". I was really grateful for the tip, but I wondered why Chaim couldn't tell me that himself, instead of using Vits.
"Just a question" I asked, trying to sound innocent. "Why do you always do Chaim's dirty work?"
"I don't" Vits smiled openly. "For instance, I'm not the one trapped in the classroom trying to teach some of your friends the same thing over and over again".
"You know what I mean" I replied weakly. "What you're doing now, you're telling me what he wants me to know".
"Sometimes", Vits didn't meet my eyes. He was less confident than I had ever seen him. "I tell people things that they should do. I may tell them that Chaim wants them to do it, because I know Chaim very well. But maybe I am the one who is trying to give the advice, knowing that it won't sound so wise if they are hearing it from me".
I knew the feeling. Once, I wanted to make Thea happy and I told Chaim Thea told me she needed more books, but I just said it in order to get Chaim to give Thea what I knew she wanted. It wasn't exactly a lie, it was a strange combination of things. A part of you wanted to make your friend happy, the other wanted to talk to someone knowing that if they thought the request wasn't coming from you, they would listen.
"It still sounds wise" I smiled. "Even if it's coming from you".
"Thanks" Vits' face went dark. "But there are other things that Chaim wants you to know and I am not supposed to tell".
Normally, those were the kind of things that I would try and force him to tell me, but there was pain in his voice and in his eyes. I didn't want to bring it up anymore.
We had never stood so close before. I noticed that his dirty blond hair had a grey streak in it, which made him look older from afar. His eyes were painfully dark, even though he sounded always optimistic, and grey. He had faded scars on his face. They were almost invisible, but in the right light they were still noticeable.
"I'm sorry" I muttered, just to say something. "Now all the guest rooms are taken".
Jimmy and Saba had taken the only two left. I knew Vits told me that it was not my business where he slept, but I was a curious person, after all.
"Don't be sorry" Vits smiled mysteriously. "Not about that".
From then on, I started going to the library every afternoon. I would spend there a few hours. Sometimes Thea was there as well, which was cool. In fact, I decided I would be the one to start talking to the other guys again. I wasn't making a real progress, but it felt better than being alone all the time.
Then one day I approached Thea.
"You know, you could study with me sometimes" I said. Even though it was just reading, I figured I needed some help to understand some of that stuff.
"I'll pass" she smiled. "I'm already working hard in my regular lessons, helping the other guys out".
"Remind me why you like it" I teased her.
She blushed. "They don't bully me cause I'm the teacher's pet" she admitted. "Not that I am, but you know what I'm saying? I've always been a good student, but I've always been mistreated because of it".
"That makes sense" I replied. "The other kids in the orphanage probably hated you for being so smart. But you shouldn't have felt bad about it".
She bit his lip "You don't know what it's like". Her eyes widened "That's not what I meant..."
I knew she didn't mean to make me feel bad, but it still kind of hurt. I smiled, pretending I didn't care much. "You're the one who always says I am clever, I've never really believed it you know".
I really wanted to make it sound as a joke, but my voice came out a bit strained.
Thea looked uncomfortable. I smiled, but I didn't have anything to say. I picked a book from the shelf and randomly started reading it.
I immediately noticed that the book was about advanced magic. There was no way I could understand any of that. I was about to put it away, when a chapter got my attention:
GOLEM
WARNING: Creating a golem requires discipline, wisdom, patience, intelligence and spiritual strength.
Also, don't ever create a golem on your own.
A golem is an artificial human being. In the past it was used to save its owner from an enemy.
Do you want to create an artificial human being that will obey your orders?
Those are the steps that you need to follow!
1. Learn by heart all the formulae that you find on page 393. Make sure you follow the rules for the correct pronunciation and that you speak the formulae aloud and in the right order
2. Purify yourself
3. Dress in clean white clothes
4. Get a supply of virgin soil from a place that's never been dug and fresh springwater that has never been poured in any vessel
5. Mix the soil and the water and knead it together
6. Breathe properly and make the head movements that you can find pictured on page 396
7. Say the formulae aloud like you have learned them and meditate on the different body parts
8. Create a human shape with the clay you formed from the virgin soil and water
9. Carve the word EMET on its forehead to make it come alive
Procedure Time: Depending on many different factors, the process can take from seven to thirty five hours.
I'm not sure why, creating a Golem suddenly seemed like a fun idea. Well, I could always use a friend. And this guy seemed an upgraded version of EWAN, not to mention, it could handle way more things than gardening. The more I thought about it, the more the idea seemed intriguing. The Golem might have helped me studying, it might have given me advice - well, the book said that it was extremely complicated and that a sorcerer must not attempt at it alone. For a minute, that was enough to put me off, but then I thought: this was exactly what I needed. To prove Thea that I was smart enough and to prove Chaim my worth as a student. I don't know why I felt so sure I was going to succeed in creating the Golem, but maybe it was cause nothing else in my life had felt so necessary before.
In the next few days, I started getting ready for the procedure. I spent at least an hour everyday learning all the formulae and the correct pronunciation. Of course, my little experiment turned out to be a little harder than I initially thought. I had to study much more than I'd planned. I had to read a lot of books about potions that could purify me and I had to learn how to make them. All the while, I had to hide my true intentions from everybody else in the house.
My friends and my teachers were starting being polite and kind to me again, but that only made it harder for me to conceal my plan.
Since I had already mastered the formulae and the potions were coming along nicely enough, it was time to do some shopping.
I needed white clothes in order to do the spell dressed in white.
Asking Chaim wouldn't be a problem, I knew. But I felt like I needed an alibi. Contrary to the popular stereotypes about wizards, Chaim wasn't against living a material life. When I asked him why his castle looked so luxurious he replied that he enjoyed fine stuff for various reasons: firstly, material things are artistic and, as such, they can reveal something about whoever posses them or creates them. Secondly, buying stuff supported all the people that created things that needed selling. It kept shops going. And last but not least, sometimes being rich can be helpful in having exactly the things you need in certain moments of your life.
So, he wouldn't mind getting me some clothes. I'd better start working on a way to ask him, though.
That night, while we were eating, I decided to go for it.
"I need some clothes" I said innocently. "Actually, I was thinking that white clothes would be even better".
Chaim raised his eyebrows. Vits said "A lot of spells require white clothing, it would be helpful to get white clothes for all of the students".
He made it sound like it had nothing to do with my request, but I worried he might know better. Vits always acts like he's a little bit out of it, so people tend to overestimate how much attention he actually pays. That was a huge mistake and one that I had definitely done more than once. I'd better be cautious with him, I was still learning at my expense how smart he actually was.
"Fine" Chaim smiled. "White clothes, then. We'll all go get them tomorrow first thing in the morning".
I started feeling guilty. Perhaps, embarking myself in this adventure alone wasn't the best idea, after all. But I could almost feel the darker side of my personality pulling me away from the others.
Ever since I had started ditching school, I found out I had a dark side I didn't know about. There was a part of me, no matter how small, who seemed content not to get along with the others. It didn't matter how hard I tried to spend my time with the guys, how much I actually enjoyed it. It didn't matter that I had made peace with everyone in that house. Even if the dark part of my soul would one day become infinitesimal, it would always be screaming "Let's make some trouble!"
I knew enough of the future to know one day I would be strong enough and I would stop listening to it. I also knew today wasn't that day.
"So, who wants to chew some fadua bones and see the future?" Vits' proposition caught my attention.
Chaim's dark eyes studied all the students' faces with amazement, like he would always do before picking one for a surprise test.
"I think Jimmy might be the most suitable" he declared, finally.
For half a second, I felt disappointed. I thought I was going to be the most suitable, since I was very powerful. But then I changed my mind - I didn't want to chew those bones and I didn't want to see the future. I had a feeling I would be going to see some secrets there, things I was going to be afraid to tell the others and, well, I already had my share.
Jimmy rejoiced. He liked eating everything that could stand still enough time to be gulped down. Chewing the bones wasn't like eating them, but no doubt he was going to try.
He started chewing the bones. He went into a trance. Then he started speaking. His voice sounded normal, but somehow more confident than it used to be.
"Beware of your enemies but also of your friends. You must begin two journeys. One in the spiritual realm and the other in the physical one. They will happen simultaneously. Learn to tell fake friends from real ones. You will find out some truths that are hard to accept. Prepare yourself for the final battle".
"Well, that was cheerful" Vits smiled ironically. I could see that Chaim and he were preoccupied but they also looked excited. I was wondering why, until I remembered that they were big fans of magic in all its forms. No matter how ghastly the future had seemed, they were ecstatic the bones worked.
"We need to understand what these lines meant" Saba said. She was very impulsive, but she was usually right.
I was worried sick. My stomach was in knots. Not only I didn't enjoy knowing my future, especially when it involved death or life situations, like this final battle, I also understood some of the lines clearly enough to figure they were about me parting from the others. A part of me didn't want it to happen while the other felt bothered that it was no longer a secret.
Everybody was talking about the lines. The only silent person in the whole room, except for me, was Jimmy. I immediately thought something was off. His eyes looked pained and sad. He must have known something more, something he wasn't going to tell.
I went to sit next to him. I whispered "What happened?"
"I saw a million things happening all at once. It gave me a migraine. It was hard to figure out what was going on" his voice trembled. "I saw you".
My heart skipped a beat "What happened?"
His eyes filled with tears. "Sorry".
ns 15.158.61.12da2
