Today was the day. I had that feeling all throughout the morning. It wasn't just because everything was ready, white clothing included. It was also because everything about today seemed to happen coincidentally in a way that could have been life-changing. Chaim and Vits asked if anybody wanted to go to some nearby town with them, which practically never happened. Everybody accepted, eager to get out of the castle, surely. I didn't even need an alibi not to come - the previous night I had been distraught while washing the dishes and I had dropped a very large glass, cutting my hand pretty badly. Well, it wasn't that serious - of course I could still go out if I wanted. But when I said I wasn't feeling like it, nobody pressured me.
A part of me, the good one, which had become surprisingly weak in the last couple of days, ached for company. There was little that I wanted more than to enjoy my free time visiting a town with my friends. Actually, there was just one thing that seemed more important in that moment. And that was creating the Golem.
I tried not to think about the prophecy. I could never ask Jimmy for details and that was driving me crazy - Chaim and Vits had explained that since the visions were too powerful for one mind alone, most of the effects vanished after about twenty four hours. Meaning that now Jimmy didn't remember anything except what his voice told us, it was like he didn't go into a trance at all. He simply remembered the words as if he was reading them from a textbook.
I honestly didn't know how that made me feel. I was happy that I didn't have to find out what he felt sorry for, especially since it included me.
I was also super anxious about the things the prophecy talked about. They seemed pretty dangerous and I felt I would be the one in danger, since Jimmy wasn't eager to talk to me.
Enough with all the sad thoughts, it was time to do something practical with my life. It was time to create the Golem.
I started by drinking the potions that would purify my body and mind and then I dressed up in my brand new white clothes. I gathered the spring water and the virgin soil, which I had previously kept hidden in my room, protected by some pages I'd ripped from a book. As for the spring water, I had a hard time finding out how to preserve it without pouring it in any vessel, so I took it directly from the fountain that Chaim had in his garden, and I figured it would be just fine.
I mixed the soil and water and started kneading it together. Then, I moved my head in the strange ways pictured on the book and I took my time to check that I was breathing properly while doing so.
I recited the formulae I had had to learn by heart, trying to space out and meditate on the different body parts. It worked better than I'd hoped: I was so concentrated I could almost see a human body in the back of my mind.
Then I started working on the clay I'd formed, hoping it would be human-shaped. All the mysterious and magical parts of the plan had worked better than I could ever hope but the practical part was no good. The meditation on the human body had helped me to focus on the different shapes I was going to create, but I can say that it was the only reason why the result wasn't horrific.
Since I was giving him a body to develop serious insecurity issues on, I decided to mold him very simply, keeping the figure as little as I could. The clay wasn't much anyway.
At the end of the process, it was quite hard for me to fit the word EMET on his little forehead.
Now, I know the book had stated that now the Golem would come alive, but I just didn't expect him to. Well, in retrospect, I guess I kind of did, because I had started to refer to him in my mind with male pronouns. And why male, though? Well, mostly randomly.
"Hey" the Golem yawned, waving his hand.
I almost went crazy. Then, when I adjusted, I almost went crazy for fear of being found out. It was just a silly fear, though - the Golem was about the size of my hand and his voice was very thin.
"Hi" I managed. It wasn't very well-timed, since I had to recollect myself after he started speaking, but he didn't seem to mind.
I suddenly remembered something.
"Are you a he?"
Much to my embarrassment, he looked between his legs.
"I guess not" he stated.
He sounded like he was complaining.
"Well..." I blushed.
"I'm not exactly a woman either" he noted.
"Sorry" I blurted out. I, in fact, had no doubt that he came to life knowing who had created his body.
"No worries" he yawned again. "I do feel very much like a he, though."
"Perfect" I smiled. "So let's call you Joe".
"And what's your name, master?"
"Please don't call me master" I already had enough of EWAN doing that. "My name is Oliver".
"Oliver?" he repeated interested. "So you are a male too. Do you feel like one?"
I had never really thought about that. I didn't feel like a male, really. Maybe because I wasn't a man yet, but the definition didn't stick with me. I didn't feel exactly like a girl either. I found out I was quite unable to respond.
"It's okay" he mused. "You can be whoever you feel like".
"I just feel like me" I tried to explain.
He changed subject quickly. Maybe he would be a good friend or teacher, after all.
"Why did you create me, mas...erm...Oliver?"
I blushed. I was so busy trying to create him, that I never thought about the reason. Did I really create him just out of spite, to show my classmates and teachers what I was capable of?
Perhaps. And the worst thing was, I couldn't even show them without risking getting into major trouble.
Joe studied my guilty expression and freaked out "WHAT? I DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE? BUT I NEED A PURPOSE!"
Even though his screams sounded like whispers, I couldn't bear to have him screaming like that.
"We'll find you a purpose" I promised. "There are a lot of things I need. Let's see. I need a teacher to help me with my advanced program".
Joe raised his non-existent eyebrows. "If you need a teacher to help you with your advanced program, maybe you shouldn't be in the advanced program".
I bit my lip. It wasn't exactly how it worked, but yeah, I was starting to have my doubts that I really didn't need Chaim lessons anymore.
"Well" Joe sounded thoughtful. "After all, let's give you some credit. You brought me to life. I'm no magic expert, but I can tell that it must be some serious business. Not every sorcerer must be able to do it. And at your age! How old are you, like twelve?"
I blushed. Why did he have to be so annoying? I just kept blushing all the time. Maybe I was the one that was easily offended. That sounded about right, too.
"I'm fourteen. And thanks, by the way. It's true, the book said it was a very hard spell. Though, I must admit, I think that, I don't know, childbirth, for example, must be harder".
"Don't flatter yourself, it certainly is. At least you came out with a nice looking body".
I was almost blushing again, after all I had been teased all my life for looking pretty, when I realised he was talking of the more practical fact that my body wasn't deformed like his.
"Sorry about that. I figured that since you don't look at yourself in the mirror, you'd be alright" I lied. The reality was, I couldn't do better than that.
"Well, I do not plan on looking in a mirror for as long as I live" he mused. "But when things are not shaped like they ought to be, you can also feel it, you know. For example, not having knees is starting to feel exhausting".
"I would love for you to be my friend" I decided.
"Is it my life purpose to be your friend?" he asked, skeptically.
"It is" I tried to give my voice an authoritarian edge.
"As your friend, powerful mas...erm...Oliver, it is my duty to know all about your life".
I wasn't so sure of it. When I had met Thea, sparks were flying immediately. Even when I had only heard her crying and I wasn't so sure she was a person. If she turned out to be a puppy, I would have adopted her straightaway. Even with all the other guys that now lived in the house, it was perfectly normal for us to get along even though we didn't know everything about each other.
Anyway, I figured it was better to tell him some things so that he would know where he lived and with whom.
"My parents went missing in action when I was a little child. It was during the War, which I'm not sure if you knew about, but it's a big deal in the Kingdoms".
His cheap imitation of a nose snorted. "I know everything. Now please, go on".
"I used to live with my foster parents, the Blooms. We never got along, I'm not really sure why they decided to adopt me in the first place".
Something clicked. Didn't Vits mention something about them knowing something about me? But then he changed the subject.
"Maybe they didn't know they didn't like you until you grew older" Joe mused.
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I used to work in their bakery, until one day they kicked me out and I met Chaim and Vits, who were looking for an apprentice. Vits and Chaim are sorcerers. They're both in their fourties, but I think that Vits might look older at a first glance because he doesn't really care about how he looks. Once you get to know him, though, he may even look younger than he is. It might sound like a strange thing to say, but I think he looks a little bit different each day".
It wasn't very noticeable, but it was true. I never even figured it out, until I said it out loud. Of course Vits was always the same person. His hair was always dirty blond, his eyes were always grey, his face was always scarred and he was always extremely thin and he was always about 5'7. But, depending on the day or on his mood, or else I don't really know, his eyes would change colour to grey-blue or grey-green, his hair get significantly fairer, or brownish, or reddish. He would appear smaller, with a bad posture, or slightly taller. His scars would be hard to spot or either much visible, giving him the older vibe I got when I first met him, even though back then I hadn't noticed that the scars and the drunken man walk were the reasons I got that impression. Most days, his eyes were bright with laughter and he was standing tall. But still, that could change in a matter of seconds.
Joe was looking at me like I was crazy. Was I? I had decided to stay home alone in order to "heal" from an injury except I was doing perfectly alright and I had just created a sentient life form for no reason whatsoever, plus I had spent the last weeks of my life spending all of my energy and free time in a secret project no one knew about and I didn't care about keeping up with all the other regular activities. I wanted to tell myself I wasn't crazy, but with Joe looking at me with his non-existent eyebrows raised, it was hard to tell.
"Forget it" I mumbled. "Vits doesn't look older. He's blond and he's very thin. His hair is incredibly messy. You should be able to spot him out that way, even though now that I think about it, this description could apply to Jimmy too. Well, just try to remember that Vits is in his fourties and Jimmy's fourteen, okay?"
Something struck me. "Wait, why am I telling you all this? You're not supposed to meet anybody else".
"Really?" he looked disappointed. "How can I be your friend if I cannot meet the people you live with?"
My mouth twitched. "Am I the master or what?". I realized how pathetic that sounded, but Joe seemed to be okay with it.
"Who's your favourite friend?" he asked sheepishly.
"Thea" I replied immediately without thinking it through.
Clearly, that wasn't what he wanted to hear. "Okay, if you get along so well with Thea, why wasting your time creating another friend?"
I didn't know. I didn't like the way he pronounced Thea's name, though, like she was an enemy or something.
His eyes narrowed angrily. "Did you create me to make Thea jealous?"
"No, of course I didn't". I was sure of it. Maybe I wanted to show her that I was smart enough, maybe I wanted to show her that I didn't need her help to study my lessons...
Crap. I was stuck with a living being that wanted too much of my undivided attention. Why didn't I see it coming before creating it? Why couldn't I be more cautious, at least once in my life? Well, first of all, I just didn't expect to succeed. I had never done magic like that and the book said that it was a hard spell. I wanted to know what it felt like to live an adventure like this. I had had plenty of adventures before, but not as much when studying from books was concerned. I just wanted to feel the same adrenaline rush while studying, but I didn't expect it to actually work out. I wanted to test myself, but I had never wished to pass the test.
In the following days, I noticed something that made me freak out. Joe was growing bigger. I used to think it was just a perception, perhaps I didn't remember how big he initially was. But, after some time, it was pretty obvious he really grew bigger. We talked a lot. All he wanted to know was how to be a good friend to me. He was dead serious when he told me it was his life purpose. It really was. But I just couldn't think of him as a friend.
There were plenty of times that all I wanted to do was tell someone else what I'd done. But I knew I couldn't. I honestly had no idea which reactions it would cause, but I was positive no one was going to be happy or thrilled about it.
One day, Chaim was talking to a nice looking young woman, a certain Alyssa Stars. I had already seen her around a couple of times. She frequently bought Chaim's pomegranates and she used them to make great compositions in baskets.
"Guys, we were supposed to have 25 pomegranates here, ready for Alyssa" complained Chaim. "But there are... well, twelve? Who knows what happened to the others?"
"I do" James offered. "Jimmy ate them".
Alyssa, who had just met the newer guys, looked confused "I thought you were James".
Jimmy came stumbling in the room. He was still wearing his pajamas and his hair was even messier than usual, which, by the way, I didn't think was possible. He had just gotten out of bed.
"This one is Jimmy" Vits clarified.
Alyssa stared at the five of us with delighted eyes. "Aw, Vits, Chaim, that's beautiful! I thought you told me you weren't ready to adopt just yet, but well, I'm glad you changed your mind!"
Chaim looked at us horrified. "No, Alyssa" he wailed. "They're just our students! Just like we told you! Oh, there's five of them. I mean, how could you even... Well, nevermind".
He regained his composure. I had never seen him look so human before. I decided that I liked him better this way.
I had decided that I wouldn't want to be adopted either way; my parents might have been still alive somewhere. I knew that countless people died in the War, but I never thought too much about it. That made me think of something else though - all of my friends were orphans. I thought I knew them well, but I didn't even know if their parents died or left them or sold them.
Maybe others were just missing in action, like mine.
Alyssa smiled. She didn't even look nervous that she made Chaim so upset.
"I guess it's better this way, they're about fourteen, right? Maybe it's easier for you to adopt younger ones".
She stared at me "Are you fourteen, dear? You look younger".
I got that a lot, but honestly I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to look. The only other people that I knew who were my age were my friends, and, according to other people's standards, they didn't look their age neither.
Thea, so small and thin, could easily be mistaken for a younger kid. James had a soft smile and a certain naivety, Jimmy had a childish face with almost impish features and Saba had big doe eyes.
Vits smiled drily "Are you crazy, Al? How can those kids be fourteen? I know I am fourteen and I certainly don't look like that".
Alyssa laughed aloud. Maybe Vits' jokes weren't so annoying after all, or maybe to be a friend of Chaim's you had to like Vits too.
"Oh, you are fourteen Vits! But it's just your mental age!"
Vits laughed aloud. It was amazing how he could shake off everything. I would have gotten mad even at a simple joke like that.
Finally, Alyssa left. I just wanted to go to my room and spend some time with Joe. Let's be clear, not because I really wanted it. But because I had learned to dread every second I wasn't spending with him - I knew for a fact (he had told me) he would use these opportunities to plan his escape from my room to the rest of the house.
But Thea told all of us to meet her in her room.
"I've been thinking about Chaim's diary".
"Please, until we find out who wrote it, let's just call it the diary".
I just didn't believe it was Chaim's. It sounded so wrong to me.
"Okay" Thea conceded. "But whoever he is, I do hope he is not one of Chaim's friends".
"Why?" I asked, almost aggressively. I really related to the author and Thea wasn't making sense.
"Because," she explained with an annoyed edge in his voice. "We all should remember what he wrote in the diary. He is cursed".
I thought about Jimmy's prophecy and how it made me constantly worry something horrible would happen to me or my friends.
"I don't believe in destiny" I lied.
"Why are you bringing this up now, anyway?" James questioned. "I thought we never talked about the prophecy because we didn't believe in it".
"We didn't" Thea explained. "But now we're not so sure, since Chaim and Vits believe in the prophecy Jimmy told us, we have to consider that prophecies can be worth believing in".
There was something almost charming in how she spoke for all of us, saying we instead of I. It was also final, which was Thea's style, since she didn't like to hear different opinions on logical matters.
"There's nothing we can do about it" I teased. "Except reading more of that diary and hoping it has some answers for our questions".
I knew the other guys didn't really wanna continue reading the diary, at least not any time soon. I hoped my suggestion would make them stop wondering. It was useless anyway and I honestly had way bigger problems, like Joe, for instance.
Joe.
I excused myself, and I went back to my room. Joe spent all his free time messing up my room. He was almost as tall as I was, now. It was getting hard to fake that he could look human anymore: the bigger he got, the more his deformities were visible.
I almost felt sorry for how badly I had shaped him, but he was becoming a real handful. He was annoying and jealous of my friends.
I feel guilty admitting it, but I have to say it. I had tried, in the past few days, to end his life. I would have never killed someone else, but I tried to convince myself that he didn't count as a real person. After all, creating a Golem from clay couldn't be like giving life to someone for real. That would mean it was almost godly-like and I was pretty sure I didn't have that kind of power.
Anyway, it turned out it didn't matter how I felt about it: Joe was indestructible. I had tried everything. In fact, I had stopped feeling too guilty about it just about when the frustration started stepping in.
He couldn't drown, he couldn't burn, he couldn't be choked, he couldn't be destroyed by mere force and so on.
He was also becoming too big for me to be able to restrain him any longer. He fought back when I tried to stop him from doing things (usually ripping my books apart) and I had some bruises in the spots where he kicked me.
Ironically, I still was no Golem expert, but I figured they weren't supposed to act this way. If he kept growing bigger and more reckless each day, it would only be a matter of time before he could leave my room, even if I wasn't willing to let him do so.
That day, I decided I would act friendly with him. After all, that was all he claimed he wanted. To be my friend.
"Hi" I said, trying to sound happy and laid-back. "Next week it's Thea's birthday and I'd love to throw a party for the occasion. Would you like to help?"
He kind of hated Thea, since he had claimed to have come to life only to fulfill one purpose and I had accidentally told him the purpose would be to be my greatest friend, but I had also mentioned that Thea was actually my best friend already.
His eyes narrowed. Each time they did, my artistic skills were hurt. I had shaped his eyes like circle shaped holes and it didn't look good.
"Am I invited to this party?" he asked.
"Don't act like that, Thea doesn't even know that you exist".
"Why? Oh, yes, because you never told her".
Weren't Golems supposed to be like servants? Why was he so moody?
Maybe our creations resembled us in some ways, I thought. That certainly could explain why Joe was such a drama queen.
"Don't stare" Joe complained, while sipping from a can of Coke. "I know I'm pretty ugly. I seem to get uglier each day".
I studied him. "You certainly do".
Joe raised his non-existent eyebrows. That was like a trademark move for him. "I wonder why I was denied physical beauty".
I rolled my eyes and pointed at my chest with my thumb. "Because this guy here can't shape a human being".
Joe thought about it. "I forgive you. In a couple of days, I'll be taller than you anyways. Then I'll just keep growing, so yay".
He sounded a little sarcastic.
The more you grow taller, I thought, the less proportionate you'll be.
"I'll help you out with Thea's party" he suddenly decided. "But I want to come".
Then I heard footsteps coming down the hall.
"Hide" I pleaded.
He just sat on my bed, motionless. After all, it was getting much harder for him to find a place to hide.
I did something stupid, obviously. Just as the door swung open, I decided for the quickest option - I simply sat down on Joe's lap.
I have to say that the poor thing was so misshapen that he could have looked like a chair.
Vits stared at me in disgust.
"What are you doing in my room?" I asked, trying to hide that my voice was shaking.
"I was just checking on you" he said, and he seemed to mean it. For a second, his face looked preoccupied, but then the disgust took over again.
"Uhm, I-I'm fine" I lied.
"Are you, now?" he joked. But he didn't look like he wanted to leave anytime soon.
I couldn't even bring myself to reply.
"Oliver, what's this?"
"It's just a...a chair".
"Well, that's a funny looking chair" he smirked.
You should see how funny looking it is, once you know what it really is.
Then, just when I thought I was getting away with this, his eyes changed. He looked suddenly angry, like really angry.
"Do not lie to me, Oliver. That is not a chair".
"It is" I insisted, stupidly.
"Why are you sitting on a chair on your bed?"
I started sweating nervously. "Well, as you can see, this chair does not stand on its own".
In fact, Joe's legs were wobbly, and bent at the non-existent knees for he was sitting as well.
"Look" Vits told me "I have seriously no idea what's going on here. From my point of view, you're scared out of your mind and you're trying to cover up something. But what are you trying to hide? It looks like you're sitting on some strange alien corpse. Have you ever wondered why Chaim never seems to check on you, but I do? Well, he is sometimes preoccupied too. But I tell him that I'll handle it. And do you know why? Because if you mess up, I want to be there to help you cover it up before it's too late".
"I'm not afraid of Chaim" I said, even though I wasn't sure it was true.
"And you shouldn't be" laughed Vits. "No, I'm just saying, let's try not to break his heart".
It sounded like the perfect time to admit what Joe actually was, but I still thought I could actually get away with it, don't ask me how. I knew that Vits always claimed he wasn't skilled in magical arts, so I figured he had no idea what he was seeing.
"It's just...a...birthday present" I reddened.
"For Thea?" Vits laughed.
"Yeah. It's a...a...human...made of clay..." Oops, maybe it was getting too obvious that it was a Golem.
"Why are you sitting on it?" Vits raised his eyebrows.
"Because I don't want you to see it".
"It's not for me, so why can't I see it? It's not like I'm spoiling the surprise".
"Because...you'd make fun of me...well...it doesn't look human shaped".
"I still don't get why you'd want to give something like that as a birthday present, honestly. Is this some inside joke?"
Thea and I didn't have inside jokes. The realization suddenly hurt me a lot, much more than I would have thought possible.
"No, we don't have those" I replied sadly.
I know I should have come up with some smart idea, but how many inside jokes about clay human shaped beings can you think of, in a matter of seconds?
"That's because you're not really friends" muttered a voice from behind me.
ns 15.158.61.55da2
