x
「去哪？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqmVR4vd5w
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnoG8hXEKS
「急事。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2pDZZmZYX
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4HZ5AvHSZ
「你不吃晚餐？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCppYedtGW
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLgdIhWXig
我沒應答，逕自出門。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9oGiW1wzt
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFUEZ4v2Ej
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOBQAjn3E0
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkpwarHdRI
難以言喻的鬱悶。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSYtBUQf7R
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb24MOnStiu
長嘆。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwph2jepP2
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZCyxCb8BR
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Icll9k0tu
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN70b9yMuvD
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RjHe0lPXK
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaPyYEtoLN
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpddlgoh35T
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqL7OUiS0WA
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb631DVFEi1
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4TVof8OdC
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEMbDtvdLU
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp3WDnoxgM
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1IPV4KnTu
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLpsN0v86U
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNnTzj3cwu
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8DYbhYE6u
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ64tCu7fBl
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xmQC67eRJ
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicAfzdWSzV
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDwqbBYhR5
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bFjgai8xp
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1u2Cls674
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6MzXjhKur
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhV7qdChHOy
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxpYczXcBn
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAcWo78ORk
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuumCFbAYvB
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMskY5AzUrG
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvOwnGywce
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWX1nsnwGe
註定的。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFACPhdiCe
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzILluXIsaG
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPIWocRqEO
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tWixfmnbx
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahEhcTc6vH
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW33bffIf8
停步。猶疑。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO41UefEwsy
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo4NQhPYhY
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrfQzsiyKi
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCn18f2FG8t
轉身。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8ZNVmjSQH
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKtBNArJZ9
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSNIfM8uza
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBxfF0qbWa
我回身走去。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDV7fiUOBlw
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83wv10OPz3
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYBxkd0alj
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CN3qW6iMF
把小狗抱入懷內。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4JYtPXswl
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPVrNhHvYc
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsyiUES6fE
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8aSxS48Cj
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPUO6ybXrm
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIph8S5KHsh
海風？海濱公園步道？252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4T932n88VY
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7gNCtNADd
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hBTW3thvt
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ923MDGWnz6
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPYdMZP3Aw
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPelJ9JA0o
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09Z8wQbDWy
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtilSMuyCfk
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnYTrT8FPd
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84Uijjgfvm
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAINdvUwEz
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuKCTMqVXr
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElH84aI1iV
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOf3fD6Lvx
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBtJZa7wM5
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvNQx6EhSP
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwxZdDunDZ
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxAKISu5WB
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XJIwjJqdK
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZDK2oc8bR
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTgsDgLq2G
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqNqTn3cdc
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTDBrQ2SxW
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDG72w5YNu
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9Vt1DssYD
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3CojMIMj4
鬱悶何來？252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFbVT1rP9d
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoVZULBAL9
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI81fmPXtot
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxC3wcEGto
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXVndWvWtc
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGknIrkvr4J
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlcVacAuS3
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKU7KToQFzz
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBl6FDAPR8J
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp42320V8K
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJTp92DVnf
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjylGfyXRjZ
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDkAm1xR3j
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jopuDdYfQ
然後呢？根本沒有然後。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aoYpTRiQq
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShMO9cNfH3
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5XXyHV1aH
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRawqVe6HS
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjtXoVLli3
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns 15.158.61.8da2
