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「去哪？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPbeHMwLGE
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7wdfeWF9N
「急事。」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCWOG1uR97
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn541M8ALtN
「你不吃晚餐？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqEfrR3Dmx
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zxEAwr8nb
我沒應答，逕自出門。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsBZ35iw5D
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGUhzZXAe5
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnocVHOdrO
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0FEkpO8b0
難以言喻的鬱悶。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMAkCdlUf0
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM41cnZnT2o
長嘆。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xJq1x4FeI
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJqrnH7QjQ
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmU2j83wUF
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwDGbLHNqy
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbtqDrOiGK
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq74EjIShlr
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYqz1cvogu
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDQRY225qk
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9I0K4Dvwn
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU9pkkT5PE
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQa6DicEv9W
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA0u79mJve
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbDXcXuKIN
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHdAWf6H8S
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt6JV2bK44
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJF9liBT4u
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jlS3lO8HH
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBho3sYDrm
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmu2HKBXBbi
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiYQjAuuT6
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3h5pXA4cyg
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXVjEHpzVe
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4sQ3yKmbd
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDsk2Vol3b
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8giup74xW
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsU8RO2UCQ
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOM2SUqkbm
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BAIegOuHW
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrOtOiI3WJ
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84nnRYDfxL
註定的。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2XHwFeJie
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukZeDu0sgv
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02HVhIipTX
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZuS4pNkk9
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFjveQhEWm
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs13JDp2RNu
停步。猶疑。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCvvW0zbf7
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPNa2cUxDk
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FMLFSI6md
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuX8JxQFbC
轉身。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvnd4VasiI
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUd6HDRNbq
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UgdSi33Oh
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbyBfyrhgQ
我回身走去。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn4KiGUdeG
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWw8T5SEER6
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTNhRBG4Jh
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrko597JTDg
把小狗抱入懷內。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WGFy6MPU1
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1PnX1wEwR
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jj4B1xz9V
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KpvvyYSGx
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDZvnpajpk
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2II2K6YJZ
海風？海濱公園步道？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KJw3wUUXx
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7xL1ylubx
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocIYlokoo9
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqm8osn19fj
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOcDtdqF0k
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLju6sM4Mlh
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Qq89AbWis
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl35dTwDlC4
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUMHXY4vzj
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhb8LgtlnMl
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkr7OLrYOhC
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzNal3GzKZ
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRfCGjhEhS
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VYxQnauFJ
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNddemafyAi
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJfWeR6kJv
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWM1pG9w7EG
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIVwcbNBkb
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OufPXvD7d
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptOKn16LeR
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjgtt9ZIb6
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBagmYqY5Td
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALgUb4ytH1
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIL8dyOsIS
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7v565epHw
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUha0oWrfU
鬱悶何來？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8le8QH14U3
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI03dQmaNR2
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBWx1rfqqt
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbldAGUuKjD
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC9itVEJR7
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxWefGPdq0
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9xkTKliEI
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGOk42gRJY
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNjBBAjcqD
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uqrhaOAFU
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusauSINcXC
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkx90gYJO46
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXK22Xlb9Tb
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXg7NPH5em
然後呢？根本沒有然後。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2qZZsxkgD
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcV2gVesHc
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNljT9yC7r
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aCN2oavuN
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuRmGGWZ3d
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns 15.158.61.20da2
