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「去哪？」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlJrC4gEsT
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEReH0er1Y
「急事。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizCCJfwWq0
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vRUwAtRLC
「你不吃晚餐？」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjzrSsxub9
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2rbEzXznh
我沒應答，逕自出門。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6TG1bJhRT
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwW1C85TNi
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRX35MphuS
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvbSv4c9vk
難以言喻的鬱悶。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dqhgRK1Fw
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3H4gPjCazT
長嘆。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcyy1RmEF8
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEjuGh57lS
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDYf8mCT4s
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FpOWn9msf
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5tGymfdtu
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbInF8IfnmR
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqw5ktwvyK
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB8of0m8tN
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaDAkBQF8J
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMAYVtafaE
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGM9z0W3X7I
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUI0TTMKo0e
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjgVyxXiPS
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGEkbEiD1a
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97hnjTjJvi
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOySmAce9m5
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbZ9x5Ta3Q
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBKmpbhdrK
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKCWQMllvw
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mnVOxgfUK
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8vzooFGy6
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKD8YHAK2AS
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqJXd8MIL5
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqalVjYfDC
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfkl8eASfW
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmY06fKTd8
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO20IIxqozF
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6UUvSIuKM
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iZ8iLbp50
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVX2wcpHCX3
註定的。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2wCImsIV1
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQwPzuyg5g
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fYLxgt28P
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErlhg1n83C
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zeGVNL6Dh
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEvZqOxLOG
停步。猶疑。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiltoiagcPl
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCM7KV4Uyb2
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEijqim9K9
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpLH6bXAFw
轉身。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp74a0SpFZt
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yaWkKKOcG
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa36fs8eQlN
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMxwvwK7Sr
我回身走去。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI10psg3lJ
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSr5RliWxt5
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIi5kwSAzr
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8MqRazux7
把小狗抱入懷內。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfD5dSV6ey
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtX91vgOZRs
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sXaKO2Jth
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyY9cqwAQTI
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2xfdZHbYO
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCPXc82zdg
海風？海濱公園步道？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcpoaUWiDv
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8TSO59e8v
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JQhiit0Zn
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrfH6ns9gD
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8GJZHAij2
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwPPkY9YuG
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDfACzP8zf
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq1j33ZwSN
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKFvdaBoOC
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAxyjd4XPf
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsz5GPt4zCK
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBncfUQYigH
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7slpqIa8e
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCshGLBHJBw
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXEcf9ZZ6f
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrnQku0ewO
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7gKr2jWSQ
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqujiV2kdn
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllU5K9INmz
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkwlnnK5fB
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6av3qE4EO
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRoIeNZTi3
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuTkQPoOcQ
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFQerNCYo6
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjywthUl629
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGA2UjT3uCP
鬱悶何來？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOxTXAUrLK
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uT1E3phP1
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSKOu5I9xv
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnenCDDw3Mu
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcDZL67ZaV
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseGTeuB94D
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKS2tyd6DP
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiM4DFoWn6
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmBPw4lggs
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzE5wHV6l1
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYK1ZbAGE9z
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKHTWaingM
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGE3z8xeldM
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7m8kKaOwi
然後呢？根本沒有然後。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEYOIV7flI
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCXu11Jjte
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtWt9JJMJq
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRlWypYepM
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7LQ0oLm2M
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns 15.158.61.19da2
