Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUzAmo0JtP
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To lift his spirits.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgULhfoolRN
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugzqGVfoJO
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Claude.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVgk2bqsb4
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vI1k0BY4I
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Demeter wasn't working.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2yrFjUuVW
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2TFBriSWU
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELoxFhbGgq
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8RYDy2xu0
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...375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsoPF6w9rd
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"Bison."375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdisboZKHyW
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Bread is like the sun.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RE6nn9h7N
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkp8evG3kE
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlU9WqjSAz
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28NNCPL8mF
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Its butt.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaovYCca19v
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73Kl5TVhfs
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVAF1vWVk5
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First, a tractor.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXG7QEtcjh
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHImAvG1A8
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Gravy.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhT0iGX5s9O
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzm3MsaoHiM
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...375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgaLeTmzhK
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Now he's a rockstar.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGIZMHYeHG
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8pIfBXkJq
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Do trees poop?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4WrgNoJhh
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzuxC4AG0L
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSmvDrsF3T
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXkTd47h1I
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGVwR6F29F
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She couldn't control her pupils.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3W7uwKSXFs
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What do peppers do when they're angry?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHmtYOf2qm
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They get jalapeño face.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjKebULS5p
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Today someone told me I am average.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJmnrsvZjQ
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...375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPpnCTL3vS
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I told them that's just mean.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYQEagyaJu
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfJuIjlyMx
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Pointless.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeAZlpSRQa
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgSKc7R7x3
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGG795eQtkK
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWTdQwD7hb
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ6aWvyBtb
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I tried yesterday but I mist.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpkfRNOty0
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxuZpEtHrE
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEilSldz7gL
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkggfVTwetC
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnjFT7PEfr
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What has four wheels and flies?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RtkJhxP2W
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A garbage truck.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuM6Q74Kau
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJS9KmpGSl
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...so I pushed her over.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JeumwHZp4
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3PXPz4jqI
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fAsRFZtPl
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
