Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?322Please respect copyright.PENANAfEkfXyCpjR
322Please respect copyright.PENANAUaN5SlAniU
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To lift his spirits.322Please respect copyright.PENANARvIFZWhUkV
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?322Please respect copyright.PENANA4cvBIZBfFu
322Please respect copyright.PENANAmCTh88D9i6
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAFlsezR6ek6
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Claude.322Please respect copyright.PENANA5B6Gcl6ZPZ
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?322Please respect copyright.PENANAfTdH63MD8m
322Please respect copyright.PENANAZ341KeYqVb
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAbWx8fB6wte
322Please respect copyright.PENANA9gBAWZqtLW
Demeter wasn't working.322Please respect copyright.PENANALQU7t3agFZ
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"322Please respect copyright.PENANA9ejHNQ9ti5
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.322Please respect copyright.PENANABqOBvxV2Yr
---322Please respect copyright.PENANAfpwbK6sqL3
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?322Please respect copyright.PENANAwbVZT8VEqG
322Please respect copyright.PENANAVAjLCarJRt
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322Please respect copyright.PENANANPJ0u6sP7Z
"Bison."322Please respect copyright.PENANAADsSTNjmRu
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Bread is like the sun.322Please respect copyright.PENANAWGJjd6HmxN
322Please respect copyright.PENANAPWEKJOZdSe
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322Please respect copyright.PENANALZcOR81gg4
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.322Please respect copyright.PENANAM7nP1kZsVb
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."322Please respect copyright.PENANA8pS0ZF4bMM
---322Please respect copyright.PENANAqXR1SNMHtX
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?322Please respect copyright.PENANATRrx0mwoj5
322Please respect copyright.PENANAMIqsLny7en
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAYJrDF3oYCp
322Please respect copyright.PENANArlPAo8YRqJ
Its butt.322Please respect copyright.PENANA90ROjCJ3oC
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."322Please respect copyright.PENANA5hsDmRS95w
---322Please respect copyright.PENANAaOqoLqYJUa
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?322Please respect copyright.PENANAHy6Up4tI6c
322Please respect copyright.PENANAStAWQnF3F9
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAFN4URt7iFO
322Please respect copyright.PENANAVV6hW4ZlG9
First, a tractor.322Please respect copyright.PENANAuJ7i1fraHp
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...322Please respect copyright.PENANADt0szfNllw
322Please respect copyright.PENANAlro0Nt0uMK
322Please respect copyright.PENANAV9tkHGVNtR
322Please respect copyright.PENANAImGs86iUaj
Gravy.322Please respect copyright.PENANAPaPUJnaJzI
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.322Please respect copyright.PENANAo0Zo2bJbQv
322Please respect copyright.PENANAnTmVJP0XyI
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAiRrOxihRCl
322Please respect copyright.PENANAr8KpF3zvwh
Now he's a rockstar.322Please respect copyright.PENANA0Ai9KEjMkm
---322Please respect copyright.PENANANRUTvj3Xdr
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."322Please respect copyright.PENANAPKe2fnGZT2
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Do trees poop?322Please respect copyright.PENANA3l9Pnh0zfA
322Please respect copyright.PENANAhQK1OMTZUE
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322Please respect copyright.PENANAswq2vbcdjJ
Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?322Please respect copyright.PENANAK6mFufIIwc
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?322Please respect copyright.PENANAinh3G9iLa2
322Please respect copyright.PENANAiDb93khJxT
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAuTpFvJmBYa
322Please respect copyright.PENANA2cIcLJr5Sr
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."322Please respect copyright.PENANAjHjqddJH5l
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?322Please respect copyright.PENANANgEO45KdhT
322Please respect copyright.PENANAed29FqRCrO
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAzw2DTjhz1b
322Please respect copyright.PENANAnHeN0ozVQ7
She couldn't control her pupils.322Please respect copyright.PENANABTyBGpsBSP
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What do peppers do when they're angry?322Please respect copyright.PENANA0VB2c1gvxo
322Please respect copyright.PENANAhx7FwJlra9
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322Please respect copyright.PENANAh3nfXMAk4B
They get jalapeño face.322Please respect copyright.PENANAA5LZrosxof
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Today someone told me I am average.322Please respect copyright.PENANAIeH7ud4KVd
322Please respect copyright.PENANA8QR4cUdiVL
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322Please respect copyright.PENANAhdDgHmGRMb
I told them that's just mean.322Please respect copyright.PENANAG1EfrwGBvv
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?322Please respect copyright.PENANAb7OwjEY465
322Please respect copyright.PENANAcMZ8Lj72mu
...322Please respect copyright.PENANA4EjcrlOXme
322Please respect copyright.PENANAjAaLP8lHQD
Pointless.322Please respect copyright.PENANA9hICLRENV8
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."322Please respect copyright.PENANA83VGPtvZ3g
---322Please respect copyright.PENANAJxJJ5eyUDt
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?322Please respect copyright.PENANAHekePeuLyA
322Please respect copyright.PENANAtanBh1654p
...322Please respect copyright.PENANACoo4MOWTFT
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.322Please respect copyright.PENANAzmViWg9FNs
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?322Please respect copyright.PENANAsJN3OIOlTT
322Please respect copyright.PENANAntCLAVwUgT
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322Please respect copyright.PENANApAmvT2uq3c
I tried yesterday but I mist.322Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2UbJtrRUG
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?322Please respect copyright.PENANAXuWI6YC7Rs
322Please respect copyright.PENANArPXsreDeUq
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAhjPdTdQedr
322Please respect copyright.PENANA87Z1JnLMj2
You can only ran—it's always past tents.322Please respect copyright.PENANAauOI71jiFa
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?322Please respect copyright.PENANA7t1iPL5446
322Please respect copyright.PENANAYDqc2tA0dA
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322Please respect copyright.PENANA72CToCec3w
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.322Please respect copyright.PENANAkPktZQGQX0
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What has four wheels and flies?322Please respect copyright.PENANA3Zn6JCkm2M
322Please respect copyright.PENANAmFEOuGKq0M
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAzUvGOk1Qod
322Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9yub4dz46
A garbage truck.322Please respect copyright.PENANAK3AgxxPkmX
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...322Please respect copyright.PENANAFTu84Q2ANr
322Please respect copyright.PENANAmKEqYTbLOM
322Please respect copyright.PENANAckk1FLYAIb
322Please respect copyright.PENANAxVjoIYbxzV
...so I pushed her over.322Please respect copyright.PENANAJGLDvvf6dq
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?322Please respect copyright.PENANAUbYKbEwvqs
322Please respect copyright.PENANAnKeer4RU5T
...322Please respect copyright.PENANAs60eu0WTUn
322Please respect copyright.PENANA8o9Dnq5ZnK
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.322Please respect copyright.PENANAmzXGCEnk8Y
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322Please respect copyright.PENANAzjk93VFHIg
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
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