Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNB3DBlRKmU
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To lift his spirits.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGmRWeC6Wp
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnkVXyJFG5
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Claude.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sLal7iQNu
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLBxEAO6JT
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmV3BMu91wp
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Demeter wasn't working.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5OCumavaQ
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPc8NF0m3YW
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ53iZJffTQ
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjxZ95sWUH
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOw3LGePgf
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"Bison."400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RiyGszee0
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Bread is like the sun.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSIdJlDfnc
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KSc5HYMAx
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3GH0Jluid
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeEcOyyKd2
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNrgYli6UQ
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Its butt.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5wdD3WF6n
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjkQ6bX5pR
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaiqWCpMS9
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hy9uZ5CjH
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First, a tractor.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFISLxnJ3n
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPx2c07Kxa
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Gravy.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttvaXWm7Z7
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwab4bbRvQc
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIJYzZcrLd
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Now he's a rockstar.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5mBehnyup
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIDtCIe7Jd
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Do trees poop?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUojgt9Rzv
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXf9EqMkhY
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5oxmV1fzi
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSwgdDt2ik
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGu3Yvw9ZTe
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPPg9UR2ZN
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAF2kTEnJsR
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIzxGkGO97
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She couldn't control her pupils.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfH6I98YCiG
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What do peppers do when they're angry?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVa4RKEdlyw
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kxOrIdFKZ
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They get jalapeño face.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef9GV662uH
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Today someone told me I am average.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9yxXP8N4B
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPLvzAP3aq
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I told them that's just mean.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0DNw5dJWI
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5kAqBvUbS
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCJXu85ZHb
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Pointless.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgLBbemg2T
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI168oUKITZ
---400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU73K5fNqO3
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGIrppR57O
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5h4o99FFke
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHbWNnH0ls
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR96CCFRoZr
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz7Fq6eVja
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I tried yesterday but I mist.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwIKDnVcUy
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaFMOyerAc
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe30pOnurBG
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSfs4MWcPu
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhz9C0209tI
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbaAbqjG5S
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhZ8IJw9QZ
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What has four wheels and flies?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z5CZGpZw9
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiAHanEPJ4
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A garbage truck.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI3XbDMSxx
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYZijbfgu1
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...so I pushed her over.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2x6plKts5
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1oMSdcoHW
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...400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafLqYFDTF5
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkavJaDend
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns 15.158.61.19da2
