Was I so numb, so naïve to my surroundings, that I could have let this happen?
I was completely unaware of the fallen umbrella beside me, was uncaring for the mud that will splash upon my wings. They were no longer so pure, they needed to match the impure being that they were attached to.
I don't deserve them. I have made one too many mistakes, and the proud appendages of my race have paid the price. They were too forgiving to me. They used to hold me close, whispering sweet nothings in my pure ears, promising days of endless freedom. This hardly lasted long.
Day after day, mistake after mistake, I finally pushed them over the edge. I could no longer take the excuse of childishness, I have grown too sheltered.
They are far too forgiving.
I don't deserve the privilege to live, to be able to start a new life on this earth upon which I was sentenced.
Letting out the sob that built up over minutes of silence, I descended into a horrible shaking mess. Just barely aware of the rain falling around me, I could hardly stand the air around me.
The air I choked on was so frigid I didn't recognize it as anything else than cold. It was the strict voice that reminded me for the umpteenth time that this was the last warning. That the next time I would not be as lucky. That I should realize it was time to grow up.
The ground below my knees were harsh, the reality I was now grounded upon. The truths I now have to accept. Tears blended with rain and I was briefly tempted to pick up the bright umbrella.
I couldn't.
Perhaps this rain could wash the impurities from the magnificent white plumes arching from my back? It would never be enough, so I continued to cry.
Perhaps, I hoped deep in my heart that someone would hear me and come to my rescue. That someone would forgive me, teach me the ways of the world; that someone could bring my purity back. My priceless innocence that I had spent uselessly was shed all over the dirty ground, and never able to return to its former glory.
I am abandoned, and I have no excuse to bring myself back to who I used to be. These wings of mine don't deserve as such. Once lost, innocence never graced you again.
I was left alone, and not even the warm plumage could comfort me.
I was impure and useless.
I will forevermore be grounded to the truth that I was so blinded to.
This truth, this earth I was given to will be my new purity.
I find myself still naïve. I will always be unworthy and numb to the proper way of life.
I was useless and these wings didn't deserve such a horrible host. They could never forgive me for what I have done to them.
I will never be able to look at them the same way. Never be able to change them back, never able to wash this mud from them.
I was really left behind, I really was. 1022Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPNPqDLFYM
