Chapter 8
Obviously Jealous
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"Aiye, you're talking as if you don't remember me."
"Doctor, I'm confused. Could you please explain?"
"Let me examine you first. Then we can talk."
"You're calling me Nong?" I questioned. "I don't remember us being close enough to use Phi and Nong.[1]" However, I allowed the doctor to examine my body.
Although he was handsome and had a warm aura, I had no recollection of knowing him.
Because I had been bedridden for months, I was very thin. My once fair, glowing skin had become dull and dry, my face gaunt. But the doctor said with a few months of physical therapy, a nutritious diet, and massage therapy, I would regain my strength.
"I'm Dr. Thanwa, the one who saved your life when you were seven. You promised to be my bride when you grew up. You call my parents Uncle Tad and Aunt Ta. They expect us to get married."
"I don't remember knowing you at all, Dr. Thanwa. It's as if there's no trace of you in my brain. But I remember everyone else—my parents, Uncle Tad, Aunt Ta, and even Chan."
"It's not surprising you don't have memories of me, because we haven't seen each other since you were seven."
"Then where have you been for over a decade?" I asked.
"Because when you were unconscious, we met."
"Met? Of course we met. If you're my doctor, it's not surprising. But I was unconscious. How could I remember you?"
"We didn't meet here. We met at the hospital where I work."
"Dr. Thanwa, you're getting stranger. The more you talk, the more confused I get. Let's just say for now, I don't remember you. And for today, nice to meet you." I raised my hands in a wai, at least as a sign of respect for being younger.
"I'll come take care of you on weekends when I'm off work, until you can start walking and regain your strength." Thanwa told me before packing his tools into his bag and placing it in the corner of the room.
"Aren't you leaving now after the examination?" I asked in surprise when I saw him come back and sit in the same chair.
"I'll be the one taking care of you all day on Saturdays and Sundays. That way we can spend time together and get to know each other again."
Hah! Did you even ask if I want to get to know you?
I stayed quiet laying down without paying attention to the person sitting beside my bed, before turning my back to him and falling asleep out of exhaustion.
This went on for another month. I began to regain my strength and health. In the mornings, I could walk in the garden without getting too tired. My once dull skin started to regain its smoothness. My sunken face started to fill out.
Dr. Thanwa still came to see me and help with my physical therapy every Saturday and Sunnday, but I maintained a distant relationship, keeping things strictly between a doctor and patient.
This was different from Chan, who I’d known since I was fifteen. On the first day that I was well enough to go out, Chan took me to eat shabu-shabu at Thong Lor restaurant.
I didn't miss the chance to check in, post photos, and write a witty caption on social media.
Chan is the sweetest. Thanks for taking me out for shabu-shabu, I posted under a photo of Chan picking up a mushroom and feeding it directly into my mouth. At a glance, we looked like a sweet couple out on a date.
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[Special Note: Thanwa]
I nearly lost control of my temper when I saw that post. If I didn't have a surgery scheduled, I would have grabbed my car keys and driven to that mall right then.
It took a lot of courting for Aiye to accept my friend request on Facebook. My dear girl played hard to get for two whole weeks before agreeing to be my friend.
On the first day she could go out, why was it him that got to take Aiye out to eat? Couldn't he wait one more day? Because I would be going to see her tomorrow anyway.
This must be karma catching up with me for neglecting Aiye for over a decade, right? Even though my mother kept reminding me how much Aiye missed me and how hard she tried to be good enough for me.
Our relationship, which I was trying to rebuild, never seemed to progress beyond doctor and patient.
I guess it's time for me to quit my job, return home and continue the family business. Otherwise, I expect Aiye will be stolen away by some damn bugs soon.
[End of Special Note: Thanwa]
That evening, Thanwa Siriphatsakul's resignation letter was placed on the hospital director's desk.
***
Every Saturday and Sunday for over a month, Dr. Thanwa came to take care of me and spend time with me. But today seemed strange.
"Thanwa, why aren't you at work?" I asked in surprise when I saw him walk into the house on Monday morning, his day off from caring for me.
By now, I'd grown close enough to Thanwa to call him by his name, mostly to indulge our families, who say we've been betrothed since childhood.
“I quit my job.”
“You quit? What happened? Why did you quit?” I got up from the dining table and led Thanwa to sit and relax in the backyard, where the weather was pleasant.
"I want to make up for the past ten years I've lost with you, Aiye. I told my parents that until you agree to date or marry me, I won't go back to work. I'll keep pursuing you like this."
"And Uncle Tad and Aunt Ta are okay with that?" I asked in surprise.
"Do you think they would object, Aiye?"
I sighed, knowing I shouldn't have asked. Of course, Uncle Tad and Aunt Ta were dying for us to get married.
"What about you, Aiye?"
"I want to work first. I just graduated and haven't even started working yet, and you're talking about marriage. Moreover, I don't love you yet, Thanwa. Everything you've told me, I have no memory of it. I don't want to marry someone I don't love. I don't want to be unhappy," I replied.
"Aiye, I admit I was wrong in the past. I neglected you until these past few months. I've realised my mistake. Can we start over?"
"Thanwa, what do you like about me? Do you see me as a substitute for someone else, or do you genuinely like me? I can accept the truth if you just tell me it," I asked, looking at him expectantly.
The sound of my cell phone ringing interrupted us. The screen showed Chan's name. I reached out to pick up the phone, but I was too slow Thanwa swiped my phone from the table. I tried to grab the phone back, but he, being the taller person, had the advantage. He wrapped me in his embrace before brazenly answering the call on speakerphone.
“Hello, Chan,” Thanwa said with a smirk.
“Thanwa?” Chan asked. “May I speak to Aiye, please?”
“Aiye is busy. Is there something you need?”
“I wanted to invite Aiye out to dinner tonight,” Chan responded.
Thanwa clucked his tongue, smiling. “Aiye has a boyfriend already. You can stop being a red ant sneaking up the mango tree[2]. Her boyfriend is very jealous. I hope I won't see you at this house again. That's all.” Thanwa spoke rapidly in one go before hanging up, not giving me a chance to react or correct his words.
"Thanwa, how could you say that to Chan? I haven't agreed to be your girlfriend yet. And please let me go." I was so angry that my face turned completely red. What right did he have to speak like that and make such assumptions?
"I won't let go,” Thanwa said. “Today, we need to talk this through. What do I have to do for you to love me?" Thanwa didn't let me go, he held me even tighter.
"Thanwa, I'm uncomfortable. You're asking me to love you, but do you love me?" I asked angrily.
"Of course I love you. I love you so much I'm going crazy. I love you to the point I can't focus on work. I love you so much I had to quit my job to come beg for your affection. Before some damn bugs snatch you away."
I balked, unable to respond for several long moments. I tried to replay Thanwa's words in my mind to figure out what he meant before smacking his chest lightly. “What damn bugs? What do they have to do with me? Wait a minute, Thanwa. How can you speak so crudely? It’s unbecoming of a doctor.”
“It’s true, isn’t it?” Thanwa said. “If I'm any slower, if I let any more time pass, someone else might take you away. I won't let that happen."
"You haven't told me yet: why do you love me?" I had to know if I were to come to any sort of decision.
[1] In Thai culture, "Phi" (พี่) and "Nong" (น้อง) are used to indicate age and social hierarchy, showing respect and kinship. "Phi" is for someone older or more senior, while "Nong" is for someone younger or junior. These terms are used in various social contexts, not just among family, to establish friendly or hierarchical relationships based on age.
[2] The Thai idiom "a red ant sneaking up the mango tree" refers to a man who persistently tries to win a woman's affection by sticking close to her, hoping that their proximity will eventually make her fall for him.