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Life with Jonas was not easy. I was, thankfully, still allowed to go to school, but he made me drop out of swimming, much to my disappointment. He told me he wouldn't have me "escaping" him, and that I had a duty to bear his cubs, just as my parents had agreed when promising me to him. I wasn't even allowed to go swimming in the packhouse pool unless he was there to supervise, and even then, I wasn't allowed to even dunk underwater for a few moments. I was forced to use the shower instead of the bath, and even daydreams were forbidden when, on the day of our wedding, he forced me to link my mind to his. But the link went deeper than that; he merged our minds together, which meant he had free access to my thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams, and he could invade at any time, altering anything he deemed unseemly in his eyes. I wasn't even allowed to feel normal emotions; if ever a negative emotion popped up, he changed it, leaving me confused whenever anger turned to gratitude, or whenever disgust turned to adoration, and so on. Then he'd mock me for being confused at the sudden change of emotions, calling me some very unflattering names and implying I wasn't quite right in the head.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszwsHlp0A3
The rest of the pack avoided me, except for Elise, but Jonas soon put an end to that by sending Elise away to Cornwall. I was devastated when she left, but Jonas told me I had no right to feel upset, saying that Elise was too good to be friends with the likes of me, and that I should be grateful she'd deigned to be my friend. I tried fighting him, telling him that she had been my friend, but Jonas sighed and shook his head in disappointment.
"You're never going to learn, are you?" he said, speaking as if I was a child. "Elise only pretended to be friends with you. You're of a lower stock than us; why would she want to be friends with someone so far out of her social class? You really ought to see someone, my dear."
His patronising tone set my teeth on edge. "Elise would never betray me like that," I said through gritted teeth, wanting nothing more than to punch my oh so loving husband into the middle of next week. "You, on the other hand, are a disgusting individual."
"Really?" Jonas raised an eyebrow. "I could have left you to fend for yourself on the streets. I could have confined you to the basement of the packhouse. I could have made you a slave to the whims and wishes of my pack. I did none of those things. I took you in, gave you a home, and this is how you repay me?" He shook his head. "I really expected better of you. And I was about ready to lend my efforts in finding your cousins. But if you wish to think of me as a disgusting individual..." He shrugged and made as if to leave, and horror filled me. I sprinted across the room and caught his arm.
"Don't," I begged, shocked at how badly I'd been treating him. "Please, don't. If there's anything you can do to help find Dakota before Pearl does something awful to her, then please, do it! I'm begging you."
Jonas plucked his sleeve clear. "I don't think so," he said. "I gave you everything, and you threw it in my face. If Dakota grows up to be a harridan like Pearl, it's going to serve you right for being so cold to me."
I dropped to my knees, tears streaming down my face. "I'll do anything," I pleaded, looking up at his impassive face with all the appeal I could muster. "Don't do this. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it, I swear!"
"I see," Jonas said in a flat voice. He shrugged. "Very well." He undid his pants, and before long he stood in just his socks and shirt. "Then you'd better make a good performance, or I'll be forced to go to the authorities and tell them I know nothing about my wife's cousins' whereabouts."
I shuddered depsite myself. He'd never forced me to give him head in all the months we'd been married, and I didn't relish the prospect. But if there was even the slimmest chance I could get him to change his mind on not helping me, I was ready to suck the devil himself off.
It wasn't pleasant, but it was even less so when Jonas grabbed my head and forced me to take all of him in my mouth. I almost gagged, but his hand on my head was like iron, and only after he came did he let me go. I felt like throwing up as I sat back on my knees, hating the aftertaste of the mess he'd made me swallow on the moment of his release, and he grunted as he pulled his clothes back on. "That was sub-par," he chided me. "Have you never given head?"
"No," I said, hating the disappointment in his eyes.
Jonas sighed again. "I'm going to have to teach you," he said shortly, gesturing for me to stand. "Go and rinse your mouth out, and then go to the bedroom. You're to stay there until I give you permission to leave. You have the ensuite if you need to visit the bathroom, but you will not set foot anywhere else until such time as I decide you've suffered enough. Your meals will be left outside the door, but you will not say a word to anyone, not even in thanks. You don't deserve the priviledge of speaking to anyone, and from now on, you will not speak even to me. Do I make myself clear?"
I nodded.
"Good. Now go." Jonas pointed towards the door, and I left, feeling more heartbroken than ever. He hadn't promised he'd rethink his refusal to work towards saving Dakota from Pearl's clutches, and as I made my way upstairs, I prayed - silently, of course - that fate would intervene and save Dakota from a horrible fate. I didn't pray for myself - I didn't deserve it - but at least if there was someone listening out there, they'd know to save my baby cousin.
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