「我是個意外不該出生」
我從夢境中醒來，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxUsWs2WAc
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyLaYO5xjt
事隔多年我還是會被那些回憶驚醒，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsh5hHkNW2
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSw2u83mi2h
那是父親童年時光常常告訴我的，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpPgelDILU
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRpKbOX9ju
幼小我的父母就離異，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvkHBmaD7p
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDV4M5Sjcsx
母親是內地人離婚後就回國了，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZx1krDXff7
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQNzx4EAWb
對母親的記憶還是有，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CCgO40hPC
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypvhhny5mz
記得她很常酗酒，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRTlaq5VNu
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6tj7ZTSKV
後來的日子，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnibCXChdG
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax1qAQk7Lv
我總是在房間聆聽他們的爭吵。
父親獨自承擔起照顧我的生活，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzP6FI9QwWi
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkP1onEWBS
忙於工作的他，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVejWodkfx
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXH2JypuxWW
常常讓我睡在幼兒園，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMubpvIkfw
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqd7peEQ6YZ
到了上課時間再直接上課，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AmkGTQl0L
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NM3Ifbk3D
什麼？為什麼能睡在那裡，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGriuyqoyOt
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeHEPHKGbb
因為姑姑是那裡的英文導師，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzpjGan74n
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQoP7vkFIZ
所以我總能寄宿在那裡，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkhC5tLmg8
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjwU3lkgd0
剛開始還會看著監視器期盼，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9H3STbYpy
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW1leQgSKh
漸漸的知道自己並不會被接走。
開始在小學上課，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ994Evyw1MN
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcId1Mq9Jq
父親工作的地方不一定，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPbi8rTTtL
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3j2giQLJW
輾轉的換了三所小學，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3Dp9ut7rN
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMg2Ds10aU
以至於我跟同學之間的關係並沒有那麼好。
父親性格上也開始逐漸扭曲，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3V4S38lAq
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHV2ipJWzN
他開始會喜怒無常，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsm3bbjwp0
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvekSQi5CG9
沒來由的找我發脾氣，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82yVpFFvvm
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VtUGoJsXx
下一秒又對我十分和善。
我很好奇……家人還有被關愛的感覺，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAnojbXntX
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRaZtHxGeG
很小我就與異性交往，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTDXcjGnNo
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaeCtTshgF
試圖尋找一些慰藉。
父親，是一名水電工，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIRGCdCNr5
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7CjYdclRr
家裡總是擺滿各式各樣的工作，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTO88vZQlNG
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DyYP2rtKs
偶爾我也會陪同他工作，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixetDO5pIC
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAksXUUpQVb
我會睡在工地，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjLM83gaTY
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnyi52M4h9
用紙箱跟外套搭建自己的窩，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUHEtCn80M
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81qPO8HEdJ
父親在工作上十分認真敬業，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJdHVna8zk
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4vQJGYCoD
委託人總是非常信任他。
國小三年級，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJm6WGPK6g
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYkX7tCMm1
他開始會講貶低的話語，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyE2u4hLs6e
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXw9bfOFl2k
那些原本用來工作的用具，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScJM6ffa7g
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03mFN5A6K0
偶爾會成為威脅我的道具，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP877tGJBU
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJG0RVCp1V
他會拿著水管說：「你信不信我會打你」495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQp45k9ZF9L
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6hNElhj3E
有次，他不蠻玩沉浸電腦跟網友聊天的我，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcU73JyPL7
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTScc28x45
他直接逼迫我隔天不准上課，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqQkX6GgqL
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiGQVZQ2i2
要我轉告給老師，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDqvfM2M5R
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRp33qWY38
電話裡他說：「老師吼？有種你就報警」495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4dunIpNtu
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHCQLTO7IU
老師報了警，結果不小心報錯地址闖錯的門。
之後，我偶爾會逃家，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzoHUoNkbe
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkLsTQ9aWu
沒過多久被安排進了補習班，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZtVHxURxn
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSlDzMBw52
那樣的對待仍然持續，而我染上了自傷的習慣。
這樣的日子長達了三年的光陰。
我從回憶中反應過來，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1ZN9EW4bA
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMKrqiZkua
細細去回想每個片段，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89REDuJgFB
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKaMbR0E9A
父親，很不容易的照顧了我的起居，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6TnANzoRb
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMbjKsk5Tb
仔細想想一個照顧小女孩，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScYqA7j4WR
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn15f3QDdxP
對他一個大男孩很不容易，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuwLNvWak6
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsf0JuS9ic1
所以他很常說：「我是個意外不該出生」495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLNuxyeobR
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVtLC1bpdZ
卻不知不覺間深深烙印在我腦海。
或許，我本不應該誕生吧。
整理了一下情緒，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVM4XoHfAjN
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOiM5XYV1V
走進廁所打理了一下自己狼狽的摸樣，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtGJydIWUw
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrGBeFgzzD
我打開冰箱，拿出冰牛奶，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZx0r7sO5U
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFHk1qElhJ
打算為自己做份牛奶麥片當早餐，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmatQNsa93
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKezH1K6LLR
是父親最常為我做的簡易餐點，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMHnT2mZpn
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9u5jDIu6i
還是有很多屬於他的回憶，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vGZXPUFBZ
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrPX1iobiu
我喃喃自語到：「好想失憶啊～」495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsf58cVuYu
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oPSN6bDci
正準備吃下第一口時，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzti6yU5lbC
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnrNU1omGa
手機螢幕上顯示著今日的新聞，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPk7HxHgCX
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRThIE9OlBe
《少女淚訴遭狼父性騷擾》
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtxDLGVwyo
頓時，回憶到了我國二那年。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyz68djBM3
