I was only still parked in front of the house because I needed the front windshield to defrost. Even rolling down the windows wasn't enough to dissipate the fog that had gathered. I grasped the edges of my parka tighter, folding them left end over right end over end to compensate for the fact that the zipper had broken months ago. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZQTNZhYLF
I wasn't a courageous sort of person. I relied most heavily on my impulsiveness in a fight or flight sort of way; my courage came quickly and ran away just as quickly as I would have to do if I were to get away. As if I weren't already cowering under the pressure of my family and friends, I couldn't stop shaking from the wintered cold flowing evenly through my car. I wanted nothing more than to run inside, bundle back underneath my duvet, and will myself into sleep as if I hadn't planned this all along.
Who would know? Certainly not anyone but me. But I felt as if I would never leave if I didn't now, and I needed to. I had to distance myself from the memories as much as I could, and no one else really understood just how difficult that was when I had to stare down my abuser and crumpled past every day.
The window had cleared, finally. Letting out a heavy breath that i had not realized I'd been holding, my hands came to roll up the windows. It was such an old car, I had to actually crank the windows up, which was all-but agonizing for my frozen fingers.
God damn it. I thought I had it. A pair of hands found their way in between the driver's side window and the roof of the car, keeping me from closing it completely. Keeping me from finally closing myself off from this town altogether. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0PtrZzQEY
"Come on, Ruthie, roll down the window," a sleepy, quiet voice said. Relief; It wasn't my father.
It was Wells, and I felt a dash of guilt hit me under the ribs. I hadn't bothered to say goodbye; I'd known he'd have convinced me not to leave. I reluctantly, and painfully, rolled down the window.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH7ViqUq5L
Once it was down far enough, he sprung forward, panicked arms wrapping themselves around me as if he would never get the chance to do so as well. They pulled me closer to him, until my head was pressed against his chest and swimming in the warmth of another body breaking the wind. I could feel myself relaxing almost against my will. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4cQvHVsZ1
"Ruth, I want you to stay," he said, almost too quiet for me to hear over the rumble of the outdated engine.
I pulled back enough to see his face, his eyes. I couldn't meet them. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNGF3EcpMS
"Wells, I want you to come with me," I said, a little too hopeful, a little too desperate. I mean, it was the truth.
His hands found the nape of my neck and he pulled me to him, landing a chaste kiss on my forehead almost hesitantly. I breathed deeply, my head was spinning with the adrenaline of my own rash decisions, and with the heat of his body against the frozen everything else. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFkKb5tsDo
"Okay," I said, my hands wrapping themselves in the fabric of his own jacket, "Okay..."
I pulled him down, quick as I could, into a kiss. I felt like an idiot for never realizing, not before this. I never realized just how much I needed him with me; I never realized how horrible it could be to leave him. But once I has fastened my hands in the loose material of his parka, I realize that I couldn't dare to let go. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGPsuZkvDV
When we pulled away, he was kneeling on the concrete, resting against the car, looking in. His cheeks and nose were tinted red, and I felt another pang of guilt for having him stand in the sub-zero Minnesota winter while I sat in my car and pondered over whether I would leave him or not.
I let go, and he smiled at me before running around the car and throwing himself into the passenger seat.
"Where're we headed, then?" he asked, stuffing his hands in between his legs to warm them up a bit. I shook my head again, in disbelief651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJl37otiwKj
"You know, you're way too good for me, Wells," I said.
He scoffed a bit at that, poking my neck with one of his icy fingertips. I shirked away, laughing.
"I know," he said, "but I love you anyways."
I started to drive, and handed him a map of the Midwest.
"Well, Wells," I laughed at my own joke for a bit, "Pick us out somewhere nice."
He gave me a playful look as I entered the freeway, and took my right hand in his left. His own right hand tossed the map out the passenger-side window, and rolled it up quickly afterwards.
"Go ahead and drive, Love," I leaned back into the seat, eyes closing, "Just drive."
I nodded, smiling in relief, and floored the gas.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
