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No Plagiarism!M8NVdj7tXwZbbNjNBOxXposted on PENANA 以前我就經常被朋友打鬧說不像一個正常的女孩子。8964 copyright protection25PENANAJnnn4PUqUi 維尼
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大學時期,我的三個室友每天跟她們男朋友膩歪的時候,我一個人每天上網衝浪當網民;她們關注的時尚首飾、我看的外國迷因。8964 copyright protection25PENANAFTogId2GiY 維尼
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「柳清梅,妳有時候會不會覺得自己的名字跟妳本人很不配啊?」8964 copyright protection25PENANADnKrndhSZU 維尼
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跟我最聊得來的室友許湘楠站在我的身後這樣問我。彼時,我看著自己筆電的螢幕畫面中的外國人搞笑影片,搖搖頭道:「從沒想過。」8964 copyright protection25PENANATop3LFCya8 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAnPQLl0zNLS
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29Please respect copyright.PENANA2FNGiODb9G
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我的短馬尾掃到許湘楠臉上,兩下就把她趕走了。8964 copyright protection25PENANA5FLuh43JIG 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAFITJOeBFLb
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我們今年大四,已經找到實習工作的我空閒時間就是上網衝浪。我在網上的帳號就叫做「老梅」,會利用這個身份講一些笑話、或是分享外國迷因,搞一些小翻譯之類的。這種小興趣其實維持很久,回想起來,大概是壓力很大的一年級時培養出來的發洩管道。8964 copyright protection25PENANAaW9zI0jOgA 維尼
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我敲擊著鍵盤,突然手機有電話打來,我趕緊停下手邊的工作接起。8964 copyright protection25PENANAiTmVZJ78Rm 維尼
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半晌,我反應過來才喊道:「……媽……」8964 copyright protection25PENANATPOdVaV5f5 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANA5XwNf0MWSZ
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好傢伙,我接起來才發現是家裡母上打來的。8964 copyright protection25PENANAlStyyfXnlg 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAmJbDJwFbA0
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「講話有氣無力、有氣無力的,整天都在做什麼!」8964 copyright protection25PENANAISIP6mZMTy 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAyTqhAMicE8
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我媽宏亮的聲音傳來,嚇得我再將手機提離耳朵遠些。幾個室友正商量待會兒去哪裡吃飯,被我手機中傳來的渾厚嗓音驚得頓時不敢出聲。8964 copyright protection25PENANAw8evSM1i2g 維尼
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連忙向室友們眼神道歉後,我輕聲回應:「媽,打來有什麼話要說嗎?」8964 copyright protection25PENANAbJiegjNfWN 維尼
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「我說我給妳安排了一個相親,這週末立刻滾回來!」8964 copyright protection25PENANATXDCrWXhKR 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAFvELfF8gIf
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相親?8964 copyright protection25PENANAYAeLgewcjm 維尼
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「媽,我都還沒畢業……」8964 copyright protection25PENANA4ZLEMEd6YP 維尼
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「墨墨跡跡,妳這個樣子我還盼妳自己能找到男朋友帶回家?」8964 copyright protection25PENANAGYa3yjLEbC 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANABZbffl65Si
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我看了看鏡中,自己身上的素衣和為了舒適穿的真理短褲,怕熱隨便夾起的頭髮還有幾縷沒有被綁起、散落在肩上的自己,確實沒有什麼好反駁的。大學四年快結束,我還是母胎單身來著。8964 copyright protection25PENANA7nnYZJ8H4d 維尼
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後面就是一連串什麼時候相親、在哪裡碰面、對方的名字什麼的,為了讓我媽趕快掛掉電話,我只能連連點頭說好。8964 copyright protection25PENANAM8We3Ajuaf 維尼
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終於,等到我媽放過我的耳朵,我才滿眼都是求助的眼神看向室友們。8964 copyright protection25PENANAueWu98lF9B 維尼
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「妳別這樣看我們。」8964 copyright protection25PENANAnwLjVpdJto 維尼
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許湘楠站在另外兩個室友身前,直面我這樣說到。8964 copyright protection25PENANAygkzOnT4DY 維尼
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「我為什麼要相親啊我才二十二嗚嗚嗚──」8964 copyright protection25PENANA0Y0pKVeL37 維尼
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晚餐時間,心情不美麗的我抱著快要被喝光的啤酒瓶訴苦。我不喜歡喝啤酒,但此刻只有苦到不行的啤酒能讓我變成口無遮攔的酒鬼。8964 copyright protection25PENANAW47Mlp1qXu 維尼
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身旁的室友們面有難色,畢竟她們的交往似乎都非常穩定,其中一個甚至穩定工作以後就準備跟男友同居結婚一條龍。8964 copyright protection25PENANAqDsksByUTg 維尼
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許湘楠嘴裡還叼著豬肉,拍拍我的肩膀表面安慰到:「那妳就用行動證明妳還不想相親,把對方嚇走就好啦!」8964 copyright protection25PENANAYxEX6DXjbV 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAiumDEUY2hL
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29Please respect copyright.PENANASFkaBqHMeL
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另兩個室友點頭附和:「小說不都那麼寫嗎?打扮得很醜去,然後用各種不禮貌的行為嚇對方,搞不好對方也就對妳失望了啊!」8964 copyright protection25PENANA2UMYCVJ4Kf 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANA1dbhRfrNOK
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信了她們的邪,回家相親那天,我穿了我弟的超醜動漫T和鮮豔大紅色的短褲,頭髮沒有整理,油頭上場。坐在了約定的咖啡廳角落,我看著相親對象的臉書資訊。8964 copyright protection25PENANA3DuwgD5fdo 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANA5X8JSglbUI
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他叫做夏葵,今年即將要二十五,還挺年輕。他的臉書公開版面很乾淨,大部分都是分享一些時事或是聚餐的打卡,頭貼是一張他的半臉和貓咪的照片。8964 copyright protection25PENANAKBy0kD5ZO7 維尼
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貓咪啊……我看著他的頭貼中那隻全身黑、眼睛透亮的小貓咪,好心動。8964 copyright protection25PENANAdPxsJSB6pN 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAGaXWlcUwIU
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夏葵:妳到了嗎?8964 copyright protection25PENANAJgYA7sBoxm 維尼
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訊息大頭跳出時,我還在偷看他的貓咪照片。手忙腳亂地,我點開訊息欄回應:到啦。你呢?8964 copyright protection25PENANAcbMvzNpFqL 維尼
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夏葵:快到了。8964 copyright protection25PENANAL2kD1KJcgf 維尼
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我的心兒不爭氣地蹦蹦跳著。並不是因為我想要討好他而緊張,而是想到等一下要依照誇張的劇本真實排演我就緊張的想吐。8964 copyright protection25PENANAUPxHpCJ3qw 維尼
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很快,一個身影站在了我的桌旁,我下意識隨著影子抬頭一看,室內還戴著墨鏡和大遮陽帽的男人正看著我。8964 copyright protection25PENANAgZEDSBp5kh 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAIylRTHzYzc
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「……那個……」我被嚇得不輕,直到他居然在我面前就坐,我才反應過來。8964 copyright protection25PENANARPCCUgY7ho 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAbYJhBKt4TO
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「您、您是夏葵嗎?」8964 copyright protection25PENANAhzxx8gc5w6 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAyHdWBqMTKa
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「嗯。」8964 copyright protection25PENANAolyDVN4C7u 維尼
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我看了看夏葵的裝扮,那比我更浮誇。臉上遮掩嚴實就算了,衣服還是破舊的灰色大衣跟不搭嘎的深綠色軍褲,坐在桌子旁了還沒有要脫下的意思。看著他的衣裝,我一時間忘記自己要幹嘛,單純覺得自己好像要熱出汗了。8964 copyright protection25PENANAodO0djQJrS 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAILsCUac8N0
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「你不熱啊?」8964 copyright protection25PENANAQHRpKFtuK2 維尼
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等到第一杯咖啡上來時,我才鼓起勇氣開口。8964 copyright protection25PENANAD9VwDhaerE 維尼
29Please respect copyright.PENANAs90wtfK0sl
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「還好。」夏葵很快大口吸著咖啡,我能隱約看見他脖子邊一滴滴熱汗,睜眼說瞎話呢。8964 copyright protection25PENANA9dB96jvN86 維尼
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一陣尷尬的寧靜,是夏葵努力打破這片沉默。8964 copyright protection25PENANAqUHxtMXjrt 維尼
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「妳興趣是什麼?」8964 copyright protection25PENANAFpmMSLimEO 維尼
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終於來到相親環節了。我在腦海中搜尋這一堆搬不上檯面的興趣,隨意道:「我喜歡宅在家裡看日劇!最喜歡看男女主黏在一起的劇情!男男也很好!」8964 copyright protection25PENANAkNwMxRt7g7 維尼
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我想男生應該不會喜歡這款女性,能編的都一起編進去了。8964 copyright protection25PENANAI78ezRs2bo 維尼
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「還有我的理想型是菅田將暉那種男生,能打能撩還要會點變身,不然入不了本小姐的眼。」講到這裡,我依照自己撰寫的劇本挺了挺近乎平坦的胸口,為了凸顯衣服上的美少女戰士T。8964 copyright protection25PENANAzI1oOta9zd 維尼
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夏葵似乎被我的熱情震懾住,微張的嘴巴都來不及收起。8964 copyright protection25PENANA2wVqYiuAle 維尼
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「……柳小姐的興趣很有意思。」8964 copyright protection25PENANAhcmyfPwh7O 維尼
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反應跟我想得不一樣啊,救救我啊許湘楠同學。8964 copyright protection25PENANAZUfbHNukSq 維尼
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我預想中是他對我大失所望,一臉嫌棄地匆匆喝完咖啡就離場的。只見夏葵喝咖啡的動作變得緩慢許多,我尷尬的都快炸毛,撈過我的冰咖啡也開始喝。8964 copyright protection25PENANA7x4lc3K4if 維尼
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「我的興趣是閱讀,有空閒喜歡欣賞電影。運動的話喜歡打籃球跟網球,有一些固定會跟我一起玩的球友。」8964 copyright protection25PENANAI52rF9CSKC 維尼
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夏葵自顧自地開始介紹自己,感覺他的態度變得柔和很多,不再是冷淡的回應我的話。他的墨鏡下,我偶爾能捕捉到他帶有笑意的眼睛。8964 copyright protection25PENANAMPZzIDiekf 維尼
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「我挺喜歡柳小姐的,不妨我們加上好友,以後可以多認識認識?」8964 copyright protection25PENANAWsT9j0MOxX 維尼
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8964 copyright protection25PENANAiyNZsgINa6 維尼
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背了三天三夜搞砸相親大作戰的劇本因為被嚇得一個臺詞都講不出來的我,傻傻地點頭同意了。8964 copyright protection25PENANAkMMuCAtDjQ 維尼
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